


Alphabet Aerobics

by nofeartina



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Basically smut with the tiniest bit of plot, Blow Jobs, Body Paint, Bondage, Consensual Somnophilia, Costumes, Cumplay, Deepthroating, Double Penetration, Edging, Established Relationship, FaceFucking, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Kink Exploration, M/M, Massages, Mirror Sex, Post-Season 4, Prostate Milking, Quickie, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Sensedeprivation, Sex Games, Sex Tape, Sex Toys, Shotgunning, Temperature Play, The boys are versatile in this one, facesitting, no prep, reverse cowboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-18 05:01:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 163,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12381423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/pseuds/nofeartina
Summary: It starts with something Magnus says. Because of course it does.“I bet you two have the most adventurous sex,” he says and looks at Isak with stars in his eyes.Do they really? Isak's suddenly not so sure.Or the one where Isak makes them explore sex using the letters of the alphabet.





	1. Q

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to the best friend a girl could have, Maugurt. She’s the one who helped me brainstorm this and that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time…. :D  
> Incidentally, she also betaed this, so thank you so much for being you, babe!! <3<3
> 
> This is going to be my fun-to-write-fic for when I’m struggling with other projects, so that means the chapters will be added sporadically. There’s not going to be a real plotline except for this letters-game, instead there’ll be lots of smut. Hope you guys can deal with that… ;)
> 
> I don’t want to spoil you guys by telling you what the letter will be about, but if you’re curious or afraid of triggers, I’ll put it in the end notes. :)
> 
> Tags will be added as we go. Anyhoo, enjoy!! And see you on the other side. :)

It starts with something Magnus says. Because of course it does.

They’re pre-partying at Jonas’ and Magnus is making sure they're talking about sex, because that's what he does. And he makes this offhand comment to Isak, something along the lines of: “I bet you two have the most adventurous sex,” and he looks at Isak with stars in his eyes.

What is Isak supposed to say to that? He scoffs and rolls his eyes and smirks, plays along. But inside of him, there's suddenly chaos.

Because do they really? He's not so sure.

It's not like they don't have sex all the time. It's not really like they're over that phase yet, even though they've been together for more than a year now. But the sex they have is not really adventurous. They spend a lot of time looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands, soulfully touching each other. If Isak was hard pressed, he would say that they make _love_. It's very rare for them to do other stuff than that.

It's not like he's complaining. He's really not. He loves having sex like that with Even. But it still makes him worried whether they're being too boring, whether they'll get tired of it, of each other, if they don't switch it up once in a while.

But it's not like he goes home that night to talk to Even about it. It does make him think, though.

\--||--

Actually, now that the thought is planted in Isak’s brain, he can’t stop thinking about it. He keeps looking at Even and worries that he might get tired of him. Is he not getting everything he wants? Is Isak just a really bad lay? Does Even think he’s boring? _Did he have better sex with Sonja?_

Isak spends way more time thinking about this than he’s comfortable with. He decides he has to do something about it, he’s just not really sure what.

The solution comes to him in line at the supermarket of all places.

The cashier is obviously new, because he’s taking forever scanning the goods, but Isak’s not really in a hurry. He’s patiently just zoning out, going through the headlines on the magazines next to the register. His eyes are just scanning them, without really reading, until his eyes land on a headline on Elle magazine that says: “Sex with Letters”.

Isak looks over his shoulder. He’s relatively alone with no one behind him in line, so he picks it up and skims through the magazine to find the article so he can sneak-read.

The article is crap, he kind of figured that before reading, but it’s giving him ideas. He puts the magazine back just as his goods are being scanned, but his mind is mulling it over. There must be some way that he can make that work for them, make it fun.

\--||--

“Even, I have something that I want to talk to you about,” Isak says and clears his throat. He’s a bit anxious about it, a bit worried about what Even will say.  

“Yeah?” he asks, but he’s not really focused on Isak, he’s busy drawing in his little green notebook.

Isak sits down on the chair opposite him. He figures that the best way to proceed with this is to just say it.

“Do you think our sex-life is boring?”

And that gets Even’s attention. He immediately looks up at Isak with wide eyes. “What?”

“It’s just… I’ve been thinking,” and although Isak knows that that is probably the worst way he could possibly start this conversation he still finds himself saying it.

Even puts down the notebook and Isak has his full attention.

Isak looks down at his knee, picks at a loose thread in a hole of his jeans and decides to just push through this. He can’t really make it any worse than it is right now.

“Okay, it’s not like I’m unhappy,” he starts and then looks at Even to emphasize this. “Because I’m not!”

He doesn’t continue before Even nods at him, but he looks confused about why he’s nodding.

“I’ve just been thinking that I don’t want us to get bored with it, you know?”

Even leans forward at that, puts his elbows on his thighs and asks, “Isak. What are you talking about?”

Isak almost doesn’t let him finish before he just blurts it out.

“I want us to play a sex game to spice it up.”

There’s silence between them for a couple of long seconds where Even just looks at Isak and Isak fights to keep looking back at Even. He almost can’t stand the eye-contact, knows he’s blushing, but he can’t help it. He needs for Even to see that he’s serious.

“Okay? What kind of game?” Even finally asks and it makes Isak breathe out in relief.

“I have this idea,” Isak says and swallows back his nerves. “It’s this game where we take turns drawing a letter of the alphabet and then we have to think of something that goes with that. And we have three days to do it in.”

By the end of that, Even is smiling. And Isak feels like he can breathe again seeing that.

“So like, C for cock-ring or something?” Even asks and although that makes Isak’s cheeks heat up a bit, he can’t help smiling. He’s just happy that Even is getting it, and seems excited about it as well.

30 minutes later, they have a list of rules hanging on their fridge and a bag of all the letters in the alphabet on the table. The list looks like this:

  1.                      Only one letter at a time
  2.                      We have three days to implement the letter
  3.                      If we’re not comfortable we can use the safe-word (Red)
  4.                      Be adventurous!! Have fun!!



As it’s Isak who got the idea, he’s the first to draw a letter. He’s kind of nervous as he puts his hand into the bag and he takes out the first piece of paper he touches. He slowly unfolds it, and the letter Q is revealed to him.

He stares at it, frowning for a bit.

“What is it?” Even asks and he sounds excited and curious and Isak has to swallow from it. Maybe he didn’t think this through after all.

“I got Q,” Isak says in a low voice. He can’t help but feel a bit disappointed and nervous. What kind of letter is Q? What’s he supposed to do with that?

“Oh, that’s a hard one!” Even smiles that annoyingly beautiful smile at him, the one that makes his eyes disappear and makes Isak weak.

So Isak rolls his eyes, there’s just no way he can hold that one back.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” he snarks and that immediately makes him feel better.

Even just smiles back at him and bounces on his feet in excitement.

“I can’t wait to experience what you think of,” he says and winks at Isak.

The fucker! Way to give him performance anxiety!

\--||--

Isak is going a little bit crazy. His search history is a liability by now. He doesn’t know how many times he’s made a google search for “Q sex” and he’s almost embarrassed by it. He’s getting pretty tired of finding strange (but also oddly arousing) fanart of Q and James Bond. Who even knew that was a thing?

Luckily, the answer kind of presents itself to Isak one night. He’s watching a stupid movie while studying, so he’s not really paying attention to it, but at some point, he looks up to witness the two protagonists kissing and ripping each other’s clothes off before there’s a fade to black.

Isak wants to slap himself. How stupid could he be? The answer to Q is so incredibly obvious that he’s ashamed he didn’t think of it before.

They’ve never done it, never been needy for each other in that way, but he kind of feels like this is something that they _should_ do at some point. He leans back and feels elated that he finally knows what to do. He’ll make sure they do it tomorrow, after Eskild’s. He knows that he’ll have to prepare for it a bit, but if he’s completely honest, he’s half-hard from just thinking about it.

This idea seems really promising already.

\--||--

It’s been two days since Isak drew the letter and they’re pre-partying at Eskild’s. Isak always feels more free to be himself with Eskild. Maybe it’s the way Eskild is so blatantly, unapologetically gay that makes it seem less like Isak is put on the spot when he’s with Even, so that always leads to him touching and kissing Even more.

And on this particular night, they can’t stop, they’re in constant vicinity of each other, always connected in some way. This is of course all part of Isak’s plan. He’s trying to rile Even up to the point where he wants to drag Isak home with him. However, this plan has a serious down-side to it that Isak hadn’t considered. He’s seriously contemplating dragging Even home himself, because Even just looks so delicious with his big, puffy lips and his messed-up hair from how Isak’s been pulling at it. His pupils are blown wide and he’s looking at Isak in a way that makes his stomach clench and his toes curl and Isak is ready to _go_.

They’re standing off to the side, trying to make it look like they’re not close to eating each other and Isak knows that he’s being much more affectionate than normal, but Even isn’t complaining. At all. Instead, he leans into Isak, nips at his ear in a _very_ suggestive way and then he whispers into his ear.

“I really want to go home and fuck you.”

And Even’s so fucking close, there’s just no way he didn’t hear the weird sigh-groan that escaped Isak in response to those words, but he seems to like it as he just grinds into Isak a bit.

Isak is ready to leave then and there. Even’s never talked to him quite like that before, and he doesn’t even try to hide his erection as he drags Even out of there, much to the pleasure of Eskild.

“You go get some, baby gay!” he laughs after them and Isak isn’t even annoyed by it.

The tram-ride home is a pain as they’re trying to keep their distance until they get there, but it’s so hard when Even is sitting there next to him and Isak just wants.

He tries not to, he really does, but his hand keeps finding Even’s thigh and he can’t help squeezing it a bit when it does. Even feels so good and it’s clear that Isak touching him is making Even more impatient as well.

When they get off the tram, Isak is pretty sure he hears Even mutter, “Fucking finally!” and he takes great satisfaction in that.

But he knows that he needs to rile him up more than this. He needs to make him desperate for it.

So as soon as they’re through the front door to their stairway, Isak pushes Even up against the wall and kisses him until he feels like he might faint from it. He pushes his hip into Even’s erection, grinds up into him, over and over again, until Even is a panting mess against him.

“Fuck, Isak…” he says in a low, rough voice that makes Isak’s erection throb with it and suddenly, it’s like their apartment is too far away.

“We need to get upstairs now, baby, or I’m going to let you fuck me here,“ Isak whispers, making Even whimper and that sound makes Isak feel like the king of the world.

He steps back from Even and immediately feels cold against his front. He takes Even’s hand so he can pull him with him up the stairs.

They’re a flurry of limbs and clothes as they finally get inside. Isak barely has the presence of mind to close the door behind him, but he just manages to kick it shut before Even is on him. They’re kissing and it’s rough and wet and there’s so much tongue and Isak is fucking loving it.

They’re desperate for each other in a way that they haven’t been in a long time and Isak wants so badly. He starts pushing at Even’s clothes, manages to push his jacket off one of his shoulders before he has to give up as Even’s had the same idea with Isak’s jacket. Instead, he lets Even go and struggles with getting his own jacket, shoes and hoodie off fast, knocking his snap-back off his head in the process. He’s totally engrossed in looking at Even who’s doing the same and as soon as Even’s down to his t-shirt and is in the middle of toeing his shoes off, Isak can’t stand the distance between them anymore.

He grabs onto Even who makes a surprised sound when Isak smashes their lips ungracefully together, but Even quickly melts into the kiss. Isak pushes at Even, uncaring of whether he’s gotten the shoes off or not, pushes him into the kitchen and as soon as they’re near the kitchen counter he reluctantly leaves Even’s mouth to turn around in his arms.

He glues his entire backside against Even’s front, rolls his hips against Even’s hard erection while putting his hand in Even’s hair over his shoulder. He tilts his head, makes room for Even’s lips and tongue to roam his throat and neck and he has to close his eyes at the onslaught of sensations that Even’s providing.

Even’s grinding right back, is making Isak’s dick throb and his insides burn with want. Even’s hands are sliding along his body, under Isak’s t-shirt, rucking it up a bit and he’s pinching his nipples gently. Much too gently for what Isak has in mind.

Isak grinds back against Even harder, rougher, and Even moans at it, ups the ante by sucking at his neck, which Isak loves, and Even’s hand immediately slides down to rub him through the fabric of his jeans. It feels so good that Isak almost swallows his tongue and it makes him desperate enough that he lets go of Even’s hair to begin opening his belt.

Even chuckles against his neck and whispers, “You want to take this to the bedroom? I want to take you apart on my tongue and my fingers first.”

And although that really sounds like a good offer, so good in fact that Isak’s hands hesitate on the belt, Isak knows that that’s not really what he wants right now.

“No,” he starts to say as he finishes opening his pants. He looks over his shoulder, makes sure that he’s looking at Even through his eyelashes, tilting his head in that way that gets Even going, and then he takes his t-shirt off.

Even looks deliciously surprised and Isak can’t help but smirk as he pulls down his pants to his thighs and says, “Q is for quickie,” and then he grabs onto the counter with both hands and leans forward, arching his back, presenting himself to Even.

Even is quiet behind him. He’s quiet long enough that Isak is beginning to feel self-conscious about what he’s doing, how naked he is in their _fucking_ kitchen, but he wants this, wants Even to lose control with him. So, he fights as dirty as he can. He gets down on his elbows, spreads his legs as far as possible and arches his back even more.

“There’s lube on the counter, next to the stove,” Isak says and that finally gets Even going.

Isak doesn’t have to look behind him to hear how frantic Even is all of a sudden. He can hear him tearing at his clothes and he can see his hand fetch the lube next to him. It doesn’t mean that Isak isn’t surprised when he feels Even’s dick slap against his backside as it’s being freed from his briefs and it’s such a glorious feeling that Isak sighs from it.

Even rubs it against his crack and Isak flushes when his dick catches on his rim.

“You’re wet?” Even pants out, and it’s clear that he’s getting a bit desperate as well.

“Yeah, I got myself ready before we left,” Isak says and smirks over his shoulder, watching Even close his eyes at that, feeling his dick jump against his crack.

“Fuck, Isak! You’re killing me here,” he says and makes quick work of getting his dick and fingers wet with lube.

He runs his fingers teasingly along Isak’s crack, slowly circling his rim, and that just won’t do. Isak doesn’t want gentle, doesn’t want slow, he wants it fast and rough.

“Come on!” Isak moans through his teeth when Even slowly starts sinking a finger inside of him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says in a low voice, but Isak can’t stand it.

“Fucking hell, Even, just go for it! I’m not saying Red! We’re supposed to be adventurous, we’re supposed to try something new, so stop…”

He doesn’t get any further than that, although he could’ve continued his rant in exasperation for a while. Even cuts him off by lining himself up and pushing inside while Isak proceeds to choke on his own words.

Isak can’t account for what kind of sounds are spilling out of him, his entire world is narrowed down to Even’s fat dick splitting him in half. There’s no room in his head for any kind of thoughts, just this, just feeling Even inside of him, filling him up so _good_.

Even puts a hand on Isak’s shoulder, the other is holding on tight to his hip and he uses that hold to push Isak onto his dick as he bottoms out.

Isak can’t breathe from how full he feels. He’s grabbing at the counter for purchase, trying to find something, _anything_ , to help him withstand this overwhelming feeling of just on the right side of too much. He’s breathing so hard he feels his mouth turn dry in seconds, but he doesn’t want it any other way.

This is good. This is so good.

Even is holding still, grip tight on Isak, his dick twitching inside of Isak, and it takes Isak longer than it should to realise that he’s waiting for Isak to be ready.

Isak would roll his eyes at his over-bearing boyfriend if he didn’t feel like his eyes might stay inside his skull if he did. So instead, he tries to take a deep breath to speak, getting overwhelmed all over just from how that makes Even move a little bit inside of him and how fucking right that feels.

“Just fuck me, Even, come on!” he wheedles, trying to make Even lose control and not be so fucking considerate all the time.

This is the game, this is what it’s all about, them trying something different. He wants to try something else than what they normally do, than what’s routine.

Thankfully, Even seems to get what Isak is trying to do as he quickly pulls back and slams back into Isak, punching out all the air in Isak’s lungs. He makes a pitiful sound, something between a sob and a groan, but the slide of Even’s dick feels so fucking good that he’s getting dizzy from it.

Even does it again, this time even faster and then he starts using his grip on Isak to push Isak back onto his dick with his movements.

Isak cannot be held accountable for what his mouth is doing as he loses all ability to focus on anything else than the delicious, long slide of Even inside of him. His entire body is flushing and he can feel his knees getting weaker with every rough shove. Every thrust makes Even go deeper and he’s grunting behind him and Isak is _dying_ from how hot this is. It’s exactly what he wished for.

Isak can feel how Even is getting affected by it as well. He’s clearly losing himself to how good this is as he’s getting rougher. He takes a small step closer, trying to drill into Isak further, and Isak moans way too loudly at that. His dick is gently bumping into the cupboard under him and he’s steadily leaking precum, making his dick wet. He doesn’t want to touch it, though, not yet. Not until he can feel that Even is getting close as well.

“Fucking hell, Isak!” Even pants out and then he ups the ante.

He loosens his grip on Isak’s shoulder and slides his hand down between Isak’s shoulder blades and then he pushes Isak down onto the counter with a steady pressure, giving Isak no choice. Isak keens at it, keens at how good it feels that Even is taking charge like this, how his dick reaches new places inside of him at this new angle.

Even keeps pushing him down until Isak lies flat against the counter, cheek on the mystery stain that was there when they moved in. He doesn’t care though, doesn’t fucking care about anything but Even’s dick inside of him, lighting him up from inside, making his balls ache with their pending release.

Even steps even closer, increases his pace and just like that, he finds Isak’s prostate.

Isak clenches his eyes shut and desperately wants a hand on his dick, anything to help with how overwhelmingly good Even’s dick feels rubbing against his prostate like that. Every thrust just takes him higher and higher, tightens the coil in his stomach, makes him sweat from it.

His hands are sliding against the surface of the counter, he can’t find anything to grab onto, so instead, they end up in his hair. The tingling in his scalp from the pull helps ground him, helps him stay there and not fly away completely from the ecstasy of the pleasure.

“Jesus, you sound so good, you feel so good like this,” Even says and his voice is so wrecked that Isak moans and squeezes around Even, coaxing a whimper out of Even.

Isak tries to spread his legs even more, keeps forgetting how his pants hinders his movements. So instead, he arches his back further, anything to get Even deeper inside of him, to make him lose it with him.

And it must work, because Even goes impossibly faster. His thrusts turn just a tad rougher and Isak is so close to losing it, can feel his entire body light up with how good it feels.

“Harder, fuck, harder!”

It’s all he can say right now. There are no other words in him, his mind is a flutter of them in different forms, and he’s completely lost to the pleasure Even’s providing.

Even curses behind him and leans in a bit to get his lips on Isak’s skin.

Yes. Fucking yes. Even’s lips are like the best kind of fire, adding to the burn inside of Isak. His balls are tightening under him, just from this, without them even being touched, and this is the closest he’s ever been to coming untouched.

“Touch me, please, just… touch me,” he sobs out, rubbing his forehead against the counter, completely overwhelmed by the need to come. He needs the release now, he can’t hold it in any longer, can’t stand the throbbing in his balls anymore.

Thankfully, Even lets go of his shoulder and while he continues roughly fucking into Isak, he wraps his large hand tight around Isak and only a few strokes later Isak is pushed over the edge.

He screams out his release, feels his entire body lock up with how good it feels and the sensitivity of his insides around Even’s still moving dick is almost too much. His dick pushes out rope after rope of cum, hitting the cupboard and the floor under him and it’s devastatingly good how his mind just clears, leaving room for nothing but the pleasure coursing through him. Every nerve in his body is firing, his toes are curling against the floor and through it all, Even just keeps moving in him, chasing his own release.

As soon as Isak is coherent enough to talk, he almost tells Even to stop. He’s so sensitive now that Even’s rough shoves are on the verge of being too much, but he wants to be good for Even, wants to reward him for how good Even’s been to him. So instead, he just clenches around Even as much as he can, revelling in the sound that punches out of Even and when his mouth and tongue starts working again, he begins to speak.

“Come on, baby, come inside me. Fill me up and make me yours,” and Isak knows what this sort of talk does to Even. He knows it, and he doesn’t mind using that knowledge, because as soon as the last words have left his mouth, he can hear Even whine from it and his thrusts starts to turn uncoordinated and frantic.

Isak reaches behind him, grabs onto Even’s ass and helps him push himself deep into him, as far as he can go, and then Even comes.

It’s an interesting feeling being so sensitive and having a hand on Even’s ass as he unloads deep inside of Isak. Like so many times before, Isak wishes he could feel it, could somehow feel the warmth spreading inside of him from the cum Even is pushing into him. He can't, but moans at it nonetheless.

Even convulses against him, keeps trying to drill into Isak further and further, until he’s completely spent and slumps against Isak’s body. Even’s panting on top of him, his forehead buried in his neck, and Isak can’t stop smiling.

He waits there patiently until Even is coherent enough to register his surroundings, waits until Even starts to sigh contentedly while he kisses over Isak’s shoulder and neck and then he’s done waiting.

“Fuck, I already love this game!” he laughs out while he tries to turn his head enough to look at Even.

Even puts his arms around him, squeezes tight and _hmms_ in a way that makes Isak understand how much he agrees with him.

“It’s going to be the death of us, isn't it?” Even asks against the skin on Isak’s back, and Isak can hear that he’s smiling too.

“Yeah,” Isak sighs, “but in the best of ways.”

“Yeah. Definitely in the best of ways,” Even replies.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q for quickie.
> 
> If you have any suggestions for the rest of the letters, I’ll gladly accept them! Maugurt and I have tried to come up with something for most letters, but I’m definitely interested in what ideas for the letters that you guys come up with, as I’m not really set on most of the letters yet. SO basically, this is your chance to prompt me with your kinks!! ;) ;)


	2. H

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to start this off with thanking you all so much for your overwhelming response to the first chapter. I guess I don't have to say how happy it makes me, you guys are the best!! <3
> 
> A big thank you to my beta Maugurt who died a little reading this, you are the best, gurl!!! <3 <3 
> 
> If you're too curious to wait, or are afraid of triggers, I've put what the chapter is about in the end notes. 
> 
> Here, have some Friday-smut. You're welcome. ;) ;)

Isak is lying naked on the bed, looking at an equally naked Even rubbing lube on his hands.

He’s already hard with anticipation, completely ready for whatever Even’s thought up for him, and the suspense is _killing_ him.

Ever since Even drew the letter H, his mind has been busy guessing, and it’s been to some weird places and back again. Isak’s almost scared himself with what scenarios his mind can produce. But from this, he can see that none of what he thought up is in play.

He’s a little bit confused when Even keeps rubbing his hands together. It looks like he’s warming them up and he can’t fight the frown that forms on his forehead.

Even is just smiling at him. Of course he is, he can be such a smug bastard at times. Like, he knows that Isak is curious and he’s just drawing it out to confuse Isak even more.

“What are you doing?” Isak finally asks, leaning up on his elbows.

That seems to spur Even into action as he puts his lubed hand on Isak and his grip is tight and so _good_ from the start that Isak just falls back onto the bed with clenched eyes and groans. He’s completely taken by surprise by how perfectly warm and wet Even’s hand is and he’s panting almost immediately.

“H is for handjob,” Even says and his eyes are sparkling with mirth when Isak finally gets his wits about him enough that he’s able to look at Even.

“Handjob?” Isak asks incredulously. They’ve done that a million times, how is that playful and new?

Even scoffs at him, straddles him and makes himself comfortable on Isak’s thighs.

“Don’t you trust me?” he asks and just gently slides his hand up the length of Isak’s dick.

Isak almost swallows his tongue at that, Even’s hand is so big. He’s almost forgotten how good this could feel as well, and he doesn’t even have to answer Even. Because of course he does. Even knows this, and Isak closes his eyes to Even’s pleased huff.

“I’m going to start now,” Even says and his voice already sounds a bit rough around the edges.

Isak loves how he can affect Even so much just by being into whatever Even does to him.

Even does this thing with his hand where he starts at the root of Isak’s dick and then slowly slides up, getting it completely wet with lube. It feels glorious with all that tight, wet heat and Isak can feel himself flush a bit, just from that small movement. He’s still curious as to what Even has in mind. Surely this won’t be just a handjob.

As soon as Even’s hand reaches the top of Isak’s dick, his other hand grabs at the root and takes over, sliding up towards the tip. And Even just continues doing this, just keeps sliding his hands up and up, the other taking over as soon as the first one’s done. It feels like a continuous out-stroke and Isak shakes from how good it feels.

There’s so much sensation. Even doesn’t let up, just keeps sliding his hands up and up and up and Isak is swarmed with pleasure, is lost to it already. His own hands are fisting the duvet under him, and he’s gasping through the sensation.

Isak is almost at the point where he can get used to the sensation, almost where the never-ending pull is just within reach of being bearable, when Even changes it up.

Instead of sliding up, he starts sliding down instead and Isak loses his breath from it. He breaks into a sweat and his feet are working at the duvet under him, toes curling, and he whines with how overwhelmed he is by it.

It’s like a continuous in-stroke, like an endless tight channel for him to fuck up into and he’s trying to. His hips are working to get him closer, but he’s kept down by Even’s weight on his thighs and he’s lost to it.

One hand finds his hair and he throws the other arm over his eyes, hiding himself from Even’s prying eyes. He feels so vulnerable like this, so completely lost to the pleasure already and how it just doesn’t let up.

He’s starting to shake from it, can feel his balls tighten and his skin tingle from how good it feels.

The blood is rushing in his ears, is making it hard to hear and he’s happy for it. He’s sure that he would be embarrassed by the sounds that are pouring out of him, completely against his will. He can’t help them. Without being able to move he has no other outlet.

As if from far away, he can hear Even moaning as well, but it’s lost in how Isak’s almost dizzy with the constant down-stroke on his dick, how it’s overwhelming him.

Isak can feel the heat pool in his abdomen, can feel his dick tingle from it and his heart is beating so fast, he’s almost afraid it’ll jump out of his chest.

And then Even changes direction again, starts sliding his hands up, and Isak can’t help but buck his hips with it. He’s so forceful that he almost knocks Even right off him, and that makes Even lose his grip on his dick.

The reprieve is welcomed, Isak removes his arm from his face and blinks through the wetness gathered in his eyes. He’s desperately trying to catch his breath and he realizes just how hard he’s shaking all over. He just has time to look at Even, notices how completely and utterly turned on he looks, before Even gets his hands on him again.

Isak makes a high-pitched sound that resonates so hard in him, it feels like it starts in his gut before it erupts over his lips. He’s never heard himself make sounds like this before. But he’s powerless to stop, has absolutely no control over what his body does when it’s being subjected to pleasure like this.

Even has let up on his thighs, is giving Isak more room to work his hips. He’s probably afraid to be thrown off again, but Isak doesn’t _care_. It feels so fucking good to be able to move, to finally work his hips with Even’s hands.

It’s hard to find a rhythm to move his hips to, though, as it doesn’t matter if he’s moving up or down, Even just continues with his up-stroke. Isak grabs onto Even’s thigh like his life depends on it, and it makes Even groan.

Isak can’t help but look at Even, sees how Even’s eyes are roaming Isak’s flushing body, is obviously enjoying how Isak is lost to it. Isak keeps his eyes on Even’s until he finally looks back.

Even is seemingly surprised to find Isak’s eyes on him, because he pauses in his strokes and tilts his head just a bit. He has a small smile playing on his lips, threatening to break out in full and he’s so goddamn beautiful that Isak can’t speak from it.

“Good?” Even asks and Isak nods straight away. No pause, no hesitation. And it makes Even laugh in that special way that Isak particularly loves. Where his eyes almost disappear and all his teeth are showing.

Jesus Christ, sometimes Isak can’t breathe from how much he loves Even.

Everything slows down around them, their eyes locked on each other and in that moment there’s nobody else in the world. And Isak can’t help but smile back.

Even’s smile turns smaller at that, turns into a smirk, and then he starts stroking Isak again.

He continues with the up-strokes for only a few seconds more, but Isak feels wrecked from it already, and then Even changes direction again.

Isak’s never felt anything like it. It’s completely wrecking having his dick in a constant down-stroke like this, always drilling up and up, and Even’s hands are so warm and wet, feels every bit like the tight channel they represent and it’s perfect.

Isak writhes on the bed, loses himself in the sensation, tightens his grip on Even’s thigh. It’s good to hold onto Even like that. It feels like it’s somehow tethering him to the moment, makes it easier for him not to lose himself to it completely.

Isak can feel himself rushing towards the imminent orgasm. His balls are pulled up tight and he can feel a continuous stream of precum leaking from him, making him even wetter and messier.

Even doesn’t let up, must surely be able to feel and hear it on Isak how close he’s getting, but he just doesn’t stop.  

Isak is completely unable to hold back. He’s used to having more stamina by now, but the way Even’s working him just gives him no room to be able to concentrate enough to hold back.

He just gives into it, gives into the feeling and the pleasure that he knows is coming any minute now. His feet are still trying to find purchase on the bed, like his body is trying to figure out a way for him to withstand this onslaught of sensation coming at him through his dick.

It’s so fucking good, Isak feels like he’s _dying_ from it.

His mouth is getting dry now from panting, but it barely registers. Anything but that constant down-stroke of Even’s hands barely makes it through.

And then it just becomes too much and Isak can’t keep it back anymore. Even doesn’t even do anything different, just keeps the pace and the tightness of the grip the same, but it’s enough. It’s just right.

Isak feels himself falling, feels in _everywhere_ how he’s starting to come. How electricity is shooting through his dick, through his balls, out through his groin into the rest of his body, filling up every crevice in him.

He wails through his orgasm, eyes scrunched and toes curled tight and his entire body convulses from it. Even keeps stroking him and Isak’s orgasm just keeps going. He’s shaking and every muscle in his body tightens to the point where it should be painful, but Isak is lost to the pleasure of Even’s hands.

Even finally starts slowing down, finally lets up on Isak a little and Isak desperately chases his hands with his hips. He’s just on the verge of over-stimulation, but his body isn’t quite ready to let go of the ecstasy just yet.

When Even finally stops completely, it’s like Isak’s cords are cut and he falls back onto the bed. His hand leaves his hair and he throws his arm over his eyes again, like he’s trying to hide himself away a bit.

His orgasm was completely overwhelmingly good, and he’s left panting and shaking and it’s almost too much. He’s so sensitive, is quickly getting cold from the sweat cooling on his skin and it’s almost painful for his already shivering body.

Even puts his hand on Isak’s thigh and it startles Isak so much that he almost knocks Even’s hand away. Thankfully, he doesn’t. It’s good to feel Even being near, that he’s just there waiting for him to be ready to face him.

As soon as Isak’s caught his breath again, as soon as his shivers has died down a bit, he lowers his arms and his eyes find Even’s right away.

Even looks a mess. He’s flushed and panting, and his lips look puffy from how hard he’s been biting them. He’s looking at Isak like he’s waiting for the go ahead and as Isak’s eyes lowers to Even’s dick, it’s clear to see why.

It’s so hard and straining, looks so red, and it’s obvious that Even is so close himself, just from getting Isak off like that, just from seeing Isak coming so hard, that Isak almost feels sorry for him.

“Come here,” he says with a rough voice he barely recognizes, and Even does so eagerly.

He crawls up Isak’s body on his knees, gets within reach of Isak’s hands, and as soon as he can, Isak wraps a hand around Even’s dick and strokes him off as well.

Isak’s strokes are relentless and efficient, designed to get Even off as quickly as possible, and Even throws his head back at the sensations Isak’s hand is giving him.

Even is such a sight like this, sitting on top of Isak, turned on to the point where he’s just on the verge of coming.

Isak can’t believe how lucky he is that Even is his, that Even isn’t afraid of doing this with him, of trying new things together.

It’s only a matter of seconds before Even seemingly can’t stand the distance between them and he leans down and kisses Isak hard. It’s a desperate kiss, full of teeth and tongue, and it’s wet and messy but Isak loves it. He loves how Even doesn’t care, just wants to be close to Isak.

Even comes like that, with his mouth pressed against Isak, lips slack, breathing hard against him, and Isak works him through it. Focuses on making this good for Even as well, enjoys every stripe of cum Even shoots on him.

It’s a good feeling to be marked like that by his boyfriend.

After Even’s done, after there’s no more left in him, he collapses on top of Isak, breathing heavily.

The warmth being surrounded like that by Even provides is welcomed by Isak. It helps the shivers still running through his body and tethers him even more to the moment. It just cements their togetherness even more.

Even’s lips find Isak’s and they stay like that for a long time, just kissing and sharing space.

And sometimes, Isak thinks that this might be the best of it. How close he feels to Even.

He doesn’t fight the warmth that spreads throughout his body and the contentedness that leaves behind.

He never dared hope that he would have this. But he’s so, so grateful that he does. He’ll never get enough of this feeling, never get enough of Even. And he knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that Even feels the same.

There’s nothing better in the world than that.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H for handjob
> 
> I love all your suggestions, keep them coming. ;) I'm only set on a few letters so far (Z, A and Y), so the rest is still open for suggestions! :D


	3. Z

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your suggestions and for how well you've received this little fic. You guys make it fun to write!! :)
> 
> And a BIG thank you to my beta Maugurt, who does all the hard work making sure you guys can read this... <3
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this little piece of Saturday-smut, and as always I've put what the chapter is about in the end notes. :)

The day after the Handjob From Heaven™, Isak, once again, has his hand in the bag, rummaging through the pieces of paper there, trying to pick a good one. It’s not like he can really feel his way to a good letter, but last time he just grabbed the first one he caught hold of, and he doesn’t want another bad letter. So this time, he takes his time with it and sieves through the pieces of paper patiently.

Even is almost vibrating with excitement beside him. He looks ready to pull the bag away from Isak in his impatience, but that just makes Isak even slower. He kind of likes needling Even like that when he can. And it’s not until Even huffs annoyed at him and actually reaches out towards the bag that Isak finally takes his hand out with a piece of paper in it.

He’s kind of nervous to read it. He already has a bad feeling, and that bad feeling is rewarded when he unfolds it and the letter Z is revealed to him.

“Z?” Even asks, and Isak can hear it in his voice what he doesn’t want to say. Even’s voice is full of pity and Isak hates it. He struggled so fucking much with Q, how can he get another crap-letter?

But this game was his idea and he has to own it, has to show Even that he still thinks that this is a good idea, so he puts on his bravest smile and winks at Even.

“Sounds easy,” he says with a cocky smile and tries to pretend he isn’t dying inside.

Fucking Z!

\--||--

Isak is freaking out. He’s taking way too long to figure something out, but he’s so fucking lost on this one. Z? Fucking Z??? His mind takes him to some weird places he could never even dream of following through with. It keeps circling around the word zoo and he wants to purify his brain with bleach from the images that gives him.

Time just passes without him getting any closer to figuring out what to do, and he’s getting very close to the three-day limit they’ve set. He’s growing more and more desperate as the days go by trying to figure something out, but his mind just draws a blank. He’s a little afraid of googling after the last time, but he’s starting to think that anything will be better than the fucking way zoo repeats itself in his mind.

He keeps his agitation away from Even, though, tries to appear cool about it in front of him and like it’s totally on purpose that he hasn’t done anything. He’s not sure Even is really convinced, but he doesn’t call Isak out on it either. Small mercies and all that, Isak supposes.

The third day after drawing the letter is a Friday and Isak is hammered. He’s been drinking in the hopes that maybe that will spur his imagination, and if it doesn’t, then he can drink to forget. And he can always just use that excuse to Even in the morning, that he was too drunk to do anything about it.

They’re at a party and Isak is hiding in the bathroom with his friends. He’s on the floor with his back to the wall opposite the bathtub and he’s looking at his friends smoking up. He decides against it himself. If he’s actually going to do anything fun with Even tonight, he can’t be both drunk and high. He’s pretty sure that his dick is going to rebel against that, and he still clings to the hope that the answer to that fucking letter will just come to him miraculously.

He’s just thinking about it when Even joins them. He leans down and kisses Isak with a happy gleam in his eyes and Isak tries to follow him but almost falls over trying to. Even just laughs at him in that glorious way that he does, the way that makes Isak’s insides warm and fuzzy. It doesn’t really feel like Even is laughing at him in a mean way, though. Even’s never really mean to Isak.

Even says something to Mahdi, and Isak can hear the boys answer him, but Isak’s not really listening. He’s too busy looking at his boyfriend. Sometimes, especially when Isak gets a bit drunk, he lets himself think the things he tries to keep hidden somewhere deep inside of him. How he’s so fucking grateful for Even, how he can’t really understand his luck. That Even is his. That Even chose him. It’s almost too much for him to really comprehend.

He lets his eyes roam Even’s body, looks and sees how his shoulders fill out his t-shirt in the best of ways, how long his legs are, how fucking high and quiffy his hair is. His own private James Dean. Isak can feel his dick stir just from looking.

Even leans back against the wall and smiles at something Jonas is saying and that movement pushes his hips out and Isak can just see the outline of Even’s dick against the zipper of his khakis.

Isak looks some more, completely mesmerized by how Even’s strong hands are gripping onto the beer he’s holding, and the grip he’s using is so similar to how he holds Isak’s dick that Isak has to swallow thickly at it. And that leads to thoughts of Even’s dick, hidden snugly inside of his pants.

Isak’s chubbing up at the thought, can feel his mouth flood a bit with saliva just from thinking about Even’s glorious dick. He wants it in his mouth, wants to worship Even the way he deserves.

He must make some kind of sound while he’s lost in his thoughts, because Even looks at him with his eyebrows raised and as soon as Isak notices, he tilts his chin down and returns the look through his eyelashes while he’s biting his lip.

He shifts his eyes from Even’s, lets them linger at his lips until he can see them start to curl into a smile, showing Isak that Even can see what he’s doing and then Isak shifts his eyes to Even’s dick. He swears he can see it twitch against Even’s khakis and that makes Isak’s mouth flood even more. And that’s it for him, he just doesn’t care about anything else. He’s going to blow Even. He might die if he doesn’t.

Even shifts his hips under Isak’s heavy gaze and that small movement makes Even’s zipper stand out and Isak laughs loudly at it.

This is glorious! This is the best idea for Z. He’s feeling so elated from finally having figured it out.

He falls back in laughter, completely overtaken by the relief, and when he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Even, who’s looking back at him with a concerned smile on his face, and the boys aren’t faring any better.

Isak looks at them with a devious smile on his face, and then he says in the most no-nonsense voice he can possibly muster, “Guys, you need to leave now, because I’m about to blow Even.”

He turns his gaze on Even while he speaks, so he can’t see their reactions, but he hears their stuttered groans and all he sees is Even’s responding surprised laugh.

The guys are being good sports about it, though, and it doesn’t take them long to clear out the bathroom and Even closes and locks the door after them.

He turns around, leans back on the door with his shoulders, making his hips stand out and now it’s pretty obvious that he’s half-hard as well.

“So, you’re going to blow me, huh?” he asks, and his voice is already rough and low, and Isak loves it. He loves how easily he can affect Even.

He nods and crawls closer to him on his knees. He doesn’t take his eyes off his price, on Even’s glorious dick hidden so close to him.

“Did I miss something about the letter Z? Did you find a way for that to be public sex?” Even asks, but his voice hitches halfway through as Isak has finally reached him and has started mouthing at his dick through the fabric.

Isak just smiles against the fabric, opens the button and proceeds to close his lips around the zipper. The teeth of the zipper make the most satisfying sound as he slowly opens it up, and when it’s completely open, he tilts his head back enough that he can look at Even. Even’s eyes are blown, his mouth is open and he’s panting. Isak’s dick gets fully hard from seeing him like that and he shifts on his legs to adjust it a bit in his pants.

He reaches inside Even’s pants and pulls his dick out and Even groans as Isak puts his lips against the tip. He just lets them rest there, lets Even feel his breaths against the sensitive part and Isak gets a kick out of the whine Even produces at that. Isak knows that Even has a thing for his lips, for his fucking cupid’s bow that used to make him so self-conscious, and he’s using that knowledge to his advantage now.

He makes sure his lips are still touching Even’s dick as he looks into Even’s eyes through his eyelashes and says, “No. Z is for zipper.”

And then he immediately engulfs Even’s dick, takes it in as far as he’s comfortable with and sucks as hard as he can.

He can feel Even’s legs buckle against him, but he stays standing and Isak doesn’t fight the smile that induces, even if it means that he can’t maintain the suction on Even’s dick anymore from it. He pulls back a bit, only to dive right back in, only this time, Even’s dick goes down his throat even further. It’s just to the point where Isak is about to gag, but he folds in his thumb in his hand and pushes the reflex down enough that he can close his eyes to it. He loves pushing himself as far down on Even’s dick as he can. It’s been some time since he’s done it last, but he remembers now. Just how fucking good it can be.

Even puts his hands in Isak’s hair, not pushing, not directing, just holding onto it. Isak moans from it, feels a deep throb in his dick from the idea that Even could just push his dick deep down his throat if he wanted to and Isak would be completely at his mercy.

He knows that Even would never do that. They haven’t discussed doing anything remotely like that, and it wouldn’t be possible for Isak to say the safe-word with a dick down his throat, but the idea of it is enough to make Isak frantic with it, enough to get him panting on Even’s dick. His skin crawls with how much he craves it, how bad he wants to feed himself Even’s dick and he starts to bob on it.   

He’s salivating so much that his spit is dripping down Even’s dick, making it wet, creating a dark spot on Even’s khakis at the bottom of the zipper. Isak tries to be careful of it, tries with his hand to protect the delicate skin of Even’s dick against the harshness of the zipper. Instead, it’s Isak’s lips that get the brunt of it as he bumps into it occasionally. His lips hurt a bit from it, but it’s alright. Nothing can distract him from how fucking _good_ it feels to have Even’s dick fill him up like it does.

The sounds that Even is making is just spurring him on even more. Even is clearly lost to it. He’s moaning and being way too loud considering where they are, but Isak is drunk enough that he doesn’t fucking care. It just makes it even better the way Even can’t hold himself back, how he shows Isak that he’s just as into this as Isak is.

Isak shifts his legs while he slides Even’s dick all the way out of his mouth. He licks at the tip, puts his tongue into the slit and frees his other hand so that he can get his hand on his own dick. He starts rubbing it through the fabric of his pants, and it’s good, it’s so good to finally get some friction on it, but it’s just not enough. He pulls at his buttons and thankfully he frees it relatively easy. As he wraps his hand around his dick and starts stroking for real, it feels so good that he can’t hold in a moan.

“Fuck, Isak!” Even moans and tightens his grip in Isak’s hair to the point where Isak’s scalp tingles from it.

He can’t help but close his eyes to it. He doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or just the fact that he’s blowing Even while the party is still going on outside, the bass and the voices of others loud through the door, but Isak is so fucking turned on by this.

He loves the ache in his jaw, loves the taste of Even’s precum on his tongue and he loves how Even is shaking under him from holding back. He fucking loves this game.

He can feel how close Even is from how his legs are straining and how hard Even’s panting, and Isak just wants him to let go. He’s stroking himself off fast and efficiently, racing towards the finish line and he desperately needs Even to follow him.

He ups the ante by deepthroating him again, his lips nicking the teeth of the zipper. But that just adds to it, makes him feel it more. He licks where he can reach with his tongue, makes the blowjob even more sloppy and wet, and Even curses at it.

Isak just moans, pulls back only to push himself further onto Even’s dick again and he can taste it now, taste how Even is just about to come and he has to decide where he wants it. Does he want it in his throat, or does he want to taste it?

He can’t decide but the decision is made for him as Even starts to come while Isak is pulling off him and the first rope of cum hits the inside of his mouth, making the flavor explode on his tongue. He moans with it. It’s not like it tastes particularly good, but it’s _Even_. And that just makes it the most perfect taste in the entire world.  

Isak opens his mouth for the next rope of cum from Even and it lands partly on his tongue and partly on his sore lips, and the rest of it is spilled directly on his tongue. Isak knows the picture he paints doing this, knows how much Even loves this, and he does it gladly. Like it’s really a hardship to let his gorgeous boyfriend come in his mouth and on his tongue.

Even groans and whimpers through it, keeps his tight grip on Isak’s hair, just holding him there, and Isak’s hand is working overtime on his dick. He’s so fucking close, is just on the verge of coming.

Isak’s eyes are clenched shut and he’s moaning like a porn-star, is almost overwhelmed by how good this has been. He doesn’t see Even pushing his hips off the door, but he must, because his dick is sliding over his tongue again, is being pushed gently down his throat, and although it’s not as hard as it was just seconds ago, it’s still hard enough that Isak can _feel_ it in his toes. It makes sweat break out all over his body, and that finally pushes him off the ledge.

Isak comes like that, panting around Even’s dick, saliva running down his chin and Even’s dick. He shoots all over the floor and Even’s pants and shoes. He doesn’t fucking care, he’s in heaven, his orgasm rushing through him, leaving a fire in its wake.

When he’s done, when he’s completely spent, he collapses against Even’s thighs, and Even’s dick just slowly slides against his lips and out of his mouth.

Isak stays there, just leaning against Even, panting and sweating. He’s shaking from the power of the orgasm, surprised by how much he enjoyed it. Somehow, it feels like more than a blowjob and he doesn’t know if it’s because they’re in a bathroom or if it’s the alcohol in him or if it’s the game. He doesn’t fucking know. And he’s not sure that he really cares. Every orgasm he’s had in the last few days has somehow felt like more, _been_ more, and he’s flooded with this sense of relief that Even certainly won’t get tired of _this_.

Even pushes at his hair, gently, is apologetically running his hands through it, and Isak leans back on his knees to look at him.

“Jesus Christ, Isak. Look at you, sitting there like that,” Even says and he sounds so full of awe that Isak almost can’t stand it.

He knows he must look like a mess, but that’s clearly not what Even’s seeing. Even pulls at him, tries to make him get up on his feet and Isak reluctantly goes. He’s afraid his legs won’t hold, but he still goes. There’s not much he wouldn’t do when Even looks at him like that.

Even leans in to kiss him and it’s so soft and loving, a complete contradiction to the way Isak just blew him. But Isak takes it, loves when Even shows him just how much he thinks Isak matters in this way. Even kisses him like that for a few seconds longer, his hands gently holding his head, thumbs caressing his cheeks, and when he interrupts the kiss, it’s to run his tongue over Isak’s sore lips, to lick the remnants of cum off them.

Isak can’t help the shiver that goes through his body at that, the twitch his dick makes. He loves it. He loves this dirty side of Even, it turns him on even more than he could ever imagine.

When they finally let go of each other to right themselves, Isak takes one look in the mirror and knows that it’s a lost cause. His lips are so puffy and red, both from blowing Even but also from repeatedly grazing the zipper and his hair is all over the place. There’s just no way that he’s walking out of here and everybody won’t know what he’s been doing.

He turns his head to look at Even and he finds Even just looking down at himself in disbelief. It pushes a laugh out of Isak, seeing the state Even is in. He looks _ruined_. There’s a big stain on his pants just under the zipper that’s impossible for him to hide. Further down, the bottom of his pants and his shoes are covered in Isak’s cum and there’s just no good way to hide that on tan khakis.

Isak’s laugh makes Even look up at him and he just immediately smiles back at Isak. He takes some paper and wipes off the worst of it, but somehow that just makes it worse, makes the cum stains even bigger. Watching Even struggling with this makes another bubble of laughter spill out of Isak, he just can’t help it.

Isak’s laughter once again makes Even smile and he throws the paper into the rubbish.

“Fuck it. Might as well just own it,” he says, goes to Isak and puts his arm around his shoulders and they leave the bathroom like that together.

When they reach the boys, they all look at them with big shit-eating smiles on their faces and wide eyes.

“Holy shit, look at you!” Magnus erupts, and his voice is so high and pitchy that Isak feels his cheeks blush.

Magnus’ voice is so loud that there’s absolutely no way everybody at this party won’t be looking at them. Even just tightens his grip on Isak and that makes Isak tilt his chin up defiantly and straighten his back.

“Sometimes a guy just needs to blow his boyfriend, you know?” he asks, and the boys just break out in raucous laughter.

It doesn’t really matter who knows what they did. Not really. Not when he’s the one who gets to go home with Even, the one who get to do this to him.

He doesn’t care, because he has nothing to be ashamed of.

This is who they are, this is what they do. Everybody else can just deal with it.

And he looks at his boyfriend who’s looking back at him with pride and love in his eyes and yeah. _Fuck them_! Isak thinks. This is what it’s all about.

Just them. Always just them.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Z is for zipper.
> 
> My list is filling up, but there's still letters I'm unsure of (most of them honestly... xD) so keep the suggestions coming if you have any. :D


	4. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the much awaited chapter! This is definitely not for public consumption, consider yourself warned... ;);)
> 
> A big thank you to my girl and beta, Maugurt, who shouted at me while reading this (which is the best kind of compliment there is)! <3
> 
> The letter is explained in the end notes, as usual if you can't wait!
> 
> This chapter starts right after Z, jsyk. :) Without further ado; here, have some Friday smut. :)

Isak is falling asleep on his feet in front of their apartment as Even unlocks the door and gets them inside. He’s been leaning heavily on Even’s shoulder for the entire tram ride home, and his buzz is long gone by now. In its wake is just drowsiness and Isak is so ready to just collapse onto the bed and deal with everything else in the morning.

But Even makes him brush his teeth and helps him take his clothes off, and then finally, Isak can crawl into bed. He’s almost already sleeping when he can feel the bed dip next to him, and then he feels Even run his finger carefully over his top lip where there’s a small bruise forming from Even’s zipper.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Even whispers and the tone of his voice is fond and full of awe, and Isak has to look at him.

He opens his eyes, fights the sleep trying to overtake him, and studies Even who’s completely focused on his finger on Isak’s lips.

“You liked it?” Isak asks, even though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer to that question.

Even smiles and _hmms_ in affirmation and Isak smiles back.

“I was so tempted to just fuck your face there for a moment,” Even says in a completely unaffected voice, like he didn’t just say something to turn Isak’s world upside down.

He swallows at the sudden dryness in his mouth and says in a low voice, “I wouldn’t have minded that.”

Even’s eyes shift then, from Isak’s lips to his eyes and his pupils are blown.

“Yeah?” he asks and Isak nods.

“Maybe we should talk a little bit about what kind of limits we have?” Even continues and sits up in the bed, making himself comfortable against the headboard.

Isak stays for a second longer than he should, lingers in the warmth of the duvet that’s so comfortable and hard to get out of. But he knows that Even’s not going to let him sleep now, so with a sigh, he gets up as well and settles in next to Even.

There’s silence between them for a few long seconds, before they both glance at each other out of the corner of their eyes and they both smile. This really shouldn’t be awkward, they should be able to talk about this.

So Isak decides that he’s going to be the brave one.

“Okay, I’ll start. I really liked the idea of you fucking my face.” He glances at Even to see whether he has his attention, and he does, Even is staring intently at him. Isak wants to bury his head in the duvet, but he mans up and continues. “But we need to find some other kind of signal if it gets too much. It’s not really possible to say Red with a dick down your throat,” he says and absolutely ignores the way his cheeks flush.

He looks at Even who nods stupidly, but his eyes are completely focused on Isak’s lips, like he’s almost picturing it in his head.

Even clears his throat before he says, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind getting face-fucked either.”

And Isak tries not to seem too surprised by that. Even’s always been the soft one of them in this regard, so it’s a little bit surprising to hear that he wants to be controlled like this too. He reigns in his surprise, wants this talk, but also wants it to be over so he can go to sleep.

“Okay. Well, what if we say, that if we do something that makes us unable to speak, then we can pinch instead?”

Even nods, but then pauses. “Something? You mean you’ve thought of other things that could make us unable to speak?”

“Well, there’s gagging,” Isak says without thinking about it too much, but he can see that Even clearly likes that as he’s smiling that half-smile of his.

“Okay, yeah, gagging. That’s… we could try that.” And Even shifts on the bed and clears his throat again.

“And also, I kind of like the idea of being tied up?” Even asks, and Isak doesn’t like how he makes it a question, like he sounds unsure of himself and that it’s taking a lot out of him to admit it.

Isak knows what that’s like though, and just nods at Even, trying to reassure him that this is a safe space. There’s nothing he can’t say here.

“Yeah, that sounds good as well. Me too.”

Even makes a face that tells Isak he really likes the idea of that, and Isak smiles. But he takes a breath, like he’s not really finished talking, and Isak just tries to look at him in a way he hopes is comforting.

“Also. I wouldn’t mind if we played around with some toys,” he finally says.

And that honestly makes Isak breathe a bit harder. “Okay, sure,” he answers back, and the roughness in his voice is clear as day to him. He even feels his dick stir again at the possibilities that spread out in front of him. There’s so many kinds of toys, and Even’s just opened himself up to them. Isak’s going to have so much fun with this.

Although Isak’s body is heating up from this talk, he can’t fight the yawns breaking out anymore, and he knows his eyelids are drooping.

Even smiles at him, touches the bruise on his lip one more time with his thumb and says, “Let’s get you back into bed, baby.”

They turn off the lights, settle in facing each other and Isak fights the sleep that’s coming, because it feels like Even’s not really done talking yet. He takes in these breaths that sounds like he’s just about to start talking, but then seems to change his mind as he just huffs out the extra air. In the end, Isak turns impatient, he’s really sleepy now, and he’s also really curious as to what Even could have such troubles saying.

“What, Even?” he whispers into the darkness between them, trying his best not to sound annoyed.

Even sighs fondly, and after a few seconds he starts to speak.

“Actually. I have a thing I’d like to try,” he begins. “It doesn’t have to be during this game or anything,” he quickly adds, like he’s trying to excuse it, but Isak waits patiently for him to continue. “And of course, it’s totally okay if you don’t like it. But I would really like to try it at some point.”

And then he just stops talking, like it’s too hard to say. Isak waits for him to continue, but it doesn’t’ really seem like anything is happening. He lets his hand find Even’s and he squeezes it gently.

“What, Even? There’s nothing you can’t tell me, you know?”

“I know. It’s just something that I’ve never admitted to anyone before.” Even takes a deep breath, like he’s gathering strength to say it, and then he just blurts it out: “I want to try double penetration.”

Isak is confused, but tries to sound supportive as he asks, “Like, with me and someone else at the same time?”

“No!” Even is quick to answer. “No, I’m not really into sharing you with anybody. Just like, you and a toy.”

There’s silence between them while Isak tries to absorb that into the image he has of Even in his head, but he’s interrupted when Even asks, “Wait, do you want to try a threesome?”

Yeah, no. Isak can’t imagine sharing Even with anybody either, and he tells him so.

“Do you have something you want to try? Something so dirty you haven’t told me about it either?” Even asks and Isak can hear from his voice that he’s smiling and teasing, trying to diffuse it. And Isak appreciates that so, so much.

His mind immediately jumps to that fantasy that’s been playing in his mind for a long time, for longer than he’s really comfortable admitting. And he swallows at it, contemplates if he really wants to tell Even, if it’s too weird. But on the other hand, this might be his only chance of actually having the guts to say it out loud. Here in the darkness, in this safe space they’ve created between them, where he trusts that Even won’t judge him. So he takes a deep breath and starts speaking.

“I have this fantasy where I’m… being fucked while I sleep.”

His face is half-buried in the pillow as he says it, and his words are muffled because of it, but Even makes a sound which makes it painfully clear to Isak that he heard what he said.

“Okay. Like, asleep all the way through?” he asks, and his voice is shaking a bit and it makes Isak braver.

“Not necessarily. But… the idea of you finding pleasure in my body without me being awake for it, that’s…. I just like it, you know?”

“Yeah,” Even says in a rough voice. “I like that too.”

And Isak is so grateful that this is his life. That Even is his. He leans in to kiss him, but pulls back when Even tries to deepen the kiss.

“I’m so sleepy, baby. If we start anything I might fall asleep in the middle,” he yawns against Even’s cheek.

Even pinches his side, makes him squeal in surprise and pull back completely from Even. Even leans in over him instead, and even through the dark, it’s easy to see the way Even is eager for more.

“Yeah, but it’s not like you’d really mind that,” he says, but it’s not teasing or mean, he’s smiling as he says it and it makes Isak huff out a surprised laugh.

“Not right now!”

Even hums in answer in that way he does, and Isak doesn’t want to, but he can’t help but find it endearing.

Even kisses his cheek and mouth a few times, before he lies down to settle in next to Isak.

And Isak is asleep in seconds, safe and giddy with all the possibilities that just opened up for him from this talk.

\--||--

The next morning they’re sitting at their small kitchen table that barely has room for the two of them, and Isak has abandoned his breakfast to look at Even drawing the next letter.

Even makes a show of it, because of course he does, and Isak just rolls his eyes fondly at the display. Even pulls out a piece a paper from the bag with a flourish, and he slowly unfolds it, making Isak’s heart beat faster with excitement.

Even smiles when he sees the letter, and takes his time with turning it over so Isak can read, clearly enjoying riling Isak.

It’s the letter A. Even got another fucking easy letter and he looks so happy about it, too.

“Oh, I know just what to do with this,” he says pleased.

And Isak just huffs at that. Of course Even isn’t struggling with this.

But as Even pours him another cup of coffee and starts chatting with him about his new project at uni, Isak begins to relax. There’s really no reason for him to be annoyed, it’s not like he isn’t getting something out of this as well.

As Even keeps talking and Isak is relaxing into the idea of something new and exciting for them to do with A, his mind wanders to what Even could possibly have in mind. He mentioned toys last night. Could it be some kind of anal toy? Maybe anal beads? Isak flushes a bit at that thought. Or maybe something with anal sex, even though that might be a bit too boring as they already do that all the time? It must be something with anal, that much is clear to Isak.

How can it not with that letter?

\--||--

Isak loves Even like this. With the long expanse of his torso in front of him, for him to admire and to kiss and to touch. He loves to watch how Even’s muscles play under the skin, shows off the delicacy of his body and the strength hidden underneath at the same time.

Isak looks and looks, admires how Even’s chest expanding every time he takes a breath makes his muscles look even more inviting, how Even is shivering under him, clearly just as affected as Isak.

This is probably Isak’s favorite position. It’s not like he doesn’t like all the other ones, because he does, he really does, but Even offering himself up to him like this, on his hands and knees in front of him just really does something to Isak.

It makes him want to claim him, to suck bruises into his unblemished skin down the protrusions of his spine. Makes him want to put his hands over his shoulder blades to feel how alive Even feels under his touch.

But Isak is otherwise occupied right now.

He’s holding onto Even’s hip with one hand to steady them both, and he has a tight grip on his own lubed up dick as he’s lining it up with Even’s perfect, glistening hole, all ready for him and the pleasure he can give Even like this.

Even looks fucking perfect with his ass is on display, back arched, he’s so unapologetic in the way he presents himself to Isak. Isak loves how eager Even is for his dick, how he’s cursing under his breath, telling him to get on with it, to get in him already.

How can Isak deny him anything when he asks so nicely?

He rubs the tip over Even’s hole a few times, just to tease him a bit, and it’s working because Even arches his back even further and pushes back against Isak. Everything about him screams impatience, and Isak loves that as well.

Somehow, seeing Even getting unhinged like this settles something inside of him, makes him more sure of what he’s about to do, and he loves this feeling of control it leaves in him. It makes him smirk stupidly and finally make the move to push into Even.

The breach is one of Isak’s favorite things. It always seems to push a surprised groan out of Even, even after all this time he’s apparently still amazed by how that feels, and Isak clenches his teeth to it.

He starts pushing in, one long easy glide, all the way until his hips are flush against Even’s ass. He doesn’t pause here, though. He knows that Even is ready, can see it in the way his skin blushes so prettily at the intrusion, how he’s breathing harder, how tight his entire body has become. Sometimes Even needs him to stay here, needs to get used to how Isak feels inside of him, but this is clearly not one of those times.

Isak’s first thrust makes Even lose the strength in his arms and he goes down hard on his elbows. It’s a beautiful sight, seeing Even so uncaring of appearances, seeing him letting go so easily. He just loses himself to how good Isak makes him feel and Isak just wants so bad. So he pushes forward again, and again, and even manages to lose himself a bit to how good this feels, to be buried inside of Even.

Even is spilling over with moans and _fuck yeah_ s and it’s music to Isak’s ears. He shifts his knees, forces Even to spread his legs further and he knows that he only has to tilt his hips just so before he hits Even’s prostate.

The sound Even makes when he does is worth _everything_.

Isak is cataloging every change this induces in Even, how his flush gets even redder on his skin, how he heats up, making the short hair at his nape start to curl, how he pants even more and stops talking. Like his mouth and brain can’t work together at the onslaught of emotions Isak’s constant rubbing against his prostate floods him with.

Isak knows it can be overwhelming, but also, so, so good, and he just wants to make Even feel it all. He’s holding onto Even’s hips with a hard grip, using it to push Even back on his dick, to keep the angle just right so he can keep stabbing Even’s prostate at every thrust.

He’s finding it hard to keep the sounds back himself, lets the occasional moan and groan escape him when Even tightens around him and his walls flutter just right, and Isak knows that he’s getting close. He can’t help it, he feels powerless against it when he’s making Even fall apart like this. It’s such a heady feeling to be able to do so, and he starts thrusting harder, turns just a bit rougher than he normally would, to make Even finish before him.

Even lets his head hang down between his arms and arches his back further. It makes Isak able to get just that bit further inside of him, and all that tight, wet heat is just making his toes curl against the duvet and he knows he’s losing the battle.

He needs to get his mouth on that flush, needs to taste the sweat on Even’s skin, so he leans forward, abandons his constant stimulation of Even’s prostate to cover Even’s back with his chest. He makes sure he’s touching as much of Even as he can, and he starts kissing over his neck and shoulders, sucks a bruise into the skin over his shoulder blade and Even mutters at it, says _fuck, fuck, fuck_ under his breath which just makes Isak suck harder.

Being so close to Even makes it impossible for him to move that much, so instead he’s making these slow, dirty, deep grinds that makes him go so, so far inside of Even that Isak almost can’t breathe from how good it feels. He puts his arms around Even, pulls himself as close as he can, and he knows that he’s making Even take the brunt of their weight. But he also knows that Even doesn’t mind one bit. It makes him able to slowly slide his hand down Even’s chest, he pauses for a second to pinch at Even’s nipples, and then he slides further down until he can wrap his hand around Even’s dick.

It’s so wet with precum that his strokes are easy from the start and Even makes a high-pitched, throaty sound that Isak just adds to his collection of favorite things. Without even trying, Even is by far the most mouth-watering thing on the entire planet, the entire universe. Isak just wants to feel like this forever.

But he can’t fight the inevitable, and with the way he’s stroking Even, he knows that it’s only a matter of time before Even comes. His walls are already tightening, and it’s so fucking good that Isak almost loses it.

“Please come, Even. I’m so fucking close,” he manages to pant out and Even just nods, groans something that sounds like _fuck_ once more and then he does.

Isak can feel how his dick pulses with every rope of cum shooting out of it, and it’s so hot. The added clench around his dick is enough to drive him crazy and everything in him tightens with how much he wants to hold back, wants to lead Even through his orgasm before he succumbs to it himself.

Even convulses against him, makes it hard for him to maintain his grip on his dick, but he somehow succeeds, strokes Even through it until he whines from overstimulation. As soon as he does, as soon as the first note of distress passes his lips, Isak lets go, grabs onto Even’s hips and just gives into it.

He uses Even as a vessel to get off. He can’t remember it ever being like this. He’s definitely not holding back even though he’s not really sure that was what he was doing before. But he’s not going easy on Even at all.

He drills inside of him, uncaring of whether Even’s too sensitive. As long as Even will let him do this, he’ll use him to chase his own orgasm and it feels so good. He’s completely lost to the feeling of how fucking right this is.

He can feel Even clench around him and he turns his head so he can look at Isak, and says, “Come inside of me, baby.”

And that’s _it_ for Isak. It’s simply impossible for him not to obey Even when he talks like that, so he gives it one last good shove, buries himself as deep inside of Even as he can get, and then he lets himself go.

There’s just something about getting to do this bare, to be able to leave his seed inside of Even that makes something primal unfurl inside of Isak, makes him want to hold Even down and just make him take it. The idea of leaving something within Even that he can’t just wipe off or discard easily makes him orgasm even harder and he unloads himself far inside Even. His hips are constantly working to get him deeper and deeper and he’s pressed flush against Even’s ass.

Every muscle in his body is clenched, his toes are curled and he’s groaning so loud that his throat almost aches from it. But it’s worth it, it’s all so worth it with the way euphoria spreads through his veins, makes his skin tingle, leaves a warmth in its wake.

It’s always like nothing else, coming with Even.

Even clenches even more around him, just as he’s finishing and that makes him convulse one more time, makes him push even more cum into Even and then his strength gives out and he collapses on top of him. Isak’s a panting, sweating mess, but he has a smile on his face and his body pulses with the remnants of pleasure from his orgasm.

As soon as he can, he turns his head and kisses Even’s shoulders gently.

“That was amazing!” he whispers and feels, more than hears, Even’s affirmative hum. It makes him smile even more.

He starts to lean up a bit, shifting his legs to make enough room between them that he can pull out, when Even quickly puts his hand on Isak’s ass and holds him back.

“No, stay,” he says, voice still rough and low.

Isak is surprised by this, to say the least. Even is normally quick to make him pull out, says that he gets too sensitive for Isak to stay. Isak would rather do just that, soften inside of Even. He likes to enjoy the bonelessness of his body a while longer before he has to get into action. So this is new, this is new enough that he has to ask.

“You don’t want me to pull out?”

Even shakes his head and looks back over his shoulder at Isak, his hand still holding his ass in a hard grip, giving Isak no room to move. Not that he would.

“No. A is for again,” he says and immediately breaks out into a smile. And Even beaming like that is so contagious that Isak is smiling before he even realizes what Even is saying.

“A is for again?” he asks, completely come-stupid.

“Yeah, stay inside of me until you get hard again,” he says and Isak is suddenly sorry that Even’s mouth is so far away that he can’t kiss it.

He’s flushing from head to toe, is growing warmer at those words and the _idea_ of it. Of growing hard inside of Even, of using his own cum as lube. It makes his tongue big in his mouth, and he’s not really sure how he manages to respond.

“Okay. Yes, yeah. Let’s… Let’s do that.”

He feels his mouth saying something, but he doesn’t really care what. His dick is twitching, and he just knows that there’s no way that he’s going to become completely soft when he’s still inside this tight heat, when Even wants him there and is waiting for him to get hard again.

He pulls at Even, pulls him up on his knees, still tight against him, and it makes them more equal in height, makes it possible for Even to turn his head enough that they can kiss. Isak can just reach Even’s lips like this, but it’s good. It’s exactly what he needs, Even’s lips against his.

That’s always good. Always what he wants.

He’ll never get enough of kissing Even. There’s always something new to the kisses, always something different about them. And this one, this one _should_ be quiet and loving, as it normally would be when they’re both coming down, but instead it’s dirty and full of tongue and Isak just pours himself into it.

He has his arms around Even and Even is gripping onto them tightly, tethering them to each other, making sure that Isak isn’t going anywhere. Like Isak would. There’s nowhere else he would rather be than here.

His dick is still sensitive, but it’s not too bad anymore. Instead, it’s starting to take notice again, is standing at half mast, but he’s not sure if it’s ready to move past that yet. But at least it’s enough for him to be less afraid that he’ll slip out of Even by accident.

He can’t help but grind his hips into Even, just a standard response to kissing him like that, and it makes Even moan against his lips.

Isak can feel himself start to sweat. Like really sweat. Drops of it running down from his forehead, down his back. His legs are shaking from exertion, but he doesn’t fucking care, he’ll just have to push through this, because he really, really wants to fuck Even again.

Just the thought of what Even’s proposing... Isak’s honestly never even thought of it, didn’t know one could _do_ that. But it’s so simple in a way, and it shows just how different their minds work sometimes.

“Fuck, I love your brain,” he says seriously, making Even laugh against him.

It’s a good feeling, the way his body vibrates from laughing, making Isak’s dick shift a bit inside of Even. It punches a sound out of Isak, and that sound makes Even stop laughing.

“You really like the thought of this?” Even whispers, like he’s unsure, and Isak doesn’t hesitate one bit before he’s nodding.

He rests his lips on the ball of Even’s shoulder, makes sure that Even can see him watching, can see how his pupils are surely blown. How affected he is.

“Yes. Fuck, I really do.”

And he emphasizes his words with another grind with his hips, this one with a bit more purpose. Even groans and throws his head back so it’s resting on Isak’s shoulder. Isak suddenly has all the skin of Even’s throat available, it’s just there for him to kiss, so he does. Of course he does.

He releases his arm from Even’s tight grip, pretty sure he knows that he’s not going anywhere, and puts his hand on Even’s throat to tilt his head so more skin becomes available to him. Isak knows how sensitive Even is here, and Even hums and sighs as Isak gently bites at the soft skin, as he peppers it with wet kisses. He uses his tongue to lick away some of the sweat, making Even groan.

It’s interesting staying inside of Even while doing this, because he can totally sense how affected by this Even is. He’s heating up again all over, Isak can feel how Even’s body is starting to come alive again, and it takes Isak’s breath away.

He nips at Even’s ears, stores how that makes him grip Isak’s arm harder away for later, runs his nose up the column of Even’s long throat. Even whines and starts to grind back against Isak and Isak’s stomach clenches at how good that feels.

“Isak,” Even whispers and the way he says it makes Isak hum at him, makes him realize that Even is getting just as affected, if not more, as him.

He puts his chin over Even’s shoulder and sees Even’s dick stand proud, clearly hard and ready, and Isak has to touch it, he has to.

He puts his lips on the skin of Even’s shoulder and kisses it gently, runs his lips over the softness he finds there and watches in fascination as goosebumps breaks out all over his skin. Just from his touch. He slides his hand down from Even’s throat, over his stomach, over his beautiful hips until he reaches his dick. He wraps his hand around it and they moan in unison. It’s so good to touch Even, to feel the evidence of his excitement.

Isak can feel himself getting fully hard with this. It’s always a revelation to see how much Even enjoys what Isak does to him, and this is no different.

It’s such a weird feeling getting hard inside of Even. Normally the pressure comes after he’s hard, but this, this constant pressure, this tightness just makes him hard so much faster and he thrusts minutely against Even, just to test if he’s hard enough.

Even is so _wet_. Isak’s dick slides inside of him so easily, much easier than usual, and somehow Even doesn’t feel as tight as he normally does. Isak thrusts a little bit more, puts a little bit more strength to it, and he’s not surprised when that punches a sound out of Even.

He can feel how much Even is starting to sweat under his arm, against his mouth on Even’s shoulder, and it’s glorious. Even’s hair is hanging limply against his forehead, against his head and Isak loves seeing him like this.

Isak’s dick is good to go, he’s so hard already, and all the wetness inside Even is just making the slide feel so good. He’s panting again in no time. He starts to push in harder, a little bit rougher, and Even groans with every push, pants just as hard as Isak.

Isak needs to see, he needs to _see_ how Even’s hole looks, whether it looks just as good as it feels, so he starts to push at Even. Without even realizing that he’s doing it, he puts his hands between Even’s shoulders, and pushes him down onto the bed.

Even goes willingly, just puts his arms over his head and lies down until his chest is lying flush with the mattress. He arches his back, pushes his ass back and Isak almost chokes at the image Even makes like that.

He immediately starts thrusting, doesn’t pause, doesn’t wait for Even to say he’s ready, just goes. He puts his hands on Even’s hips, his thumbs pulling at Even’s ass cheeks to make Even’s hole easier for him to see.

And what a sight. It’s all red and puffy, looks so used, and Isak knows that he must be sore. But apparently it’s the good kind of sore, the kind that just adds to the pleasure, because there’s absolutely no doubt in Isak’s mind that Even is enjoying this. He’s moving with Isak, pushing his hips back into Isak’s thrusts and the sounds they produce doing that, the way their skin sounds slapping against each other, is just glorious. Isak fucking loves it.

He plants his feet into the duvet the best he can, finds purchase on the bed and really starts getting into it. He pushes his hips forward, ignores the way his muscles burn in his legs and in his ass, he doesn’t care. He’s in fucking heaven. His dick is just so wet inside of Even and it feels so dirty, like he shouldn’t enjoy that quite so much, but he does. He knows that it’s his cum that’s painting Even’s insides, his cum that’s easing the slide and somehow, that’s what does it.

He looks down again, watches as his cum is starting to slide out with his hard thrusts, frothing around his dick, dripping down onto their bed, and Isak whines at it, feels desperate and stretched thin, feels like he could lose himself to this if he’s not careful. The sight of his dick inside of Even, bathed in his own cum is turning him desperate for something he doesn’t quite understand.

He starts cursing over his breath, saying _fuck, fuck, fuck_ , over and over again, and it feels like a prayer, feels like he’s really saying _I love you, I love you, I love you_ over and over again, and he’s just coherent enough to hear Even whining under him.

Isak pushes closer, impossibly so, but he just needs to get deeper inside of Even, needs to bury himself to the hilt in all that wetness, and he grips onto Even’s hips harder.

“Fucking hell! Even, Jesus. You feel so good, I can’t…”

He doesn’t even know how he was going to finish that sentence as he’s lost to it halfway through, his mind drawing a complete blank. There’s just no way he can speak anymore. His mind is bombarded with sensations, his body is drowning in pleasure. This is just on the verge of being too much. He’s getting overloaded, almost doesn’t know what to do with it.

He feels so fucking desperate, so fucking ready to add to the mess inside of Even, to watch that spill out of him as well, and looking down at Even, seeing how his shoulders shake like he’s almost sobbing, seeing how drenched in sweat he is, it’s clear that Even is feeling just as desperate.

Isak still feels far away from that ledge though, can feel the tell-tell tingle in his balls, can feel the coil tightening in his stomach, but he knows there’s still some way to go for him. His dick is somehow less sensitive from having already just come, and even though this is good, this is fucking overwhelmingly good, he can feel that it’s going to take more to come this time.

He’s not sure Even is feeling the same though. He’s saying _yes, yes, yes_ , under him, and Isak knows that he’s rubbing his prostate. He tries to go easy on it, though, tries not to aim for it too directly, doesn’t want Even to feel like he’s losing control from this.

Even is writhing under him, spreading his legs further, pushing Isak to put his legs under Even more, and it changes the position a bit. Makes Isak less in control of his movements than he was seconds ago. But it makes Even louder, makes him moan even more and makes him put his hands in his hair.

Isak’s never seen him like this, he looks so close to losing it, like he’s chasing his orgasm, and it’s so fucking hot that Isak almost has a conniption just at looking at his boyfriends so lost to pleasure.

The new angle makes Even work for it a bit more, and he’s pushing himself onto Isak’s dick with abandon, making it rougher and harder than what Isak did, and Isak is powerless to do anything but just stand there and take it.

He looks at Even’s hole, looks at how wet and glistening it is. It looks almost _sloppy_. He’s never seen it look so used before, and it gives him an idea. As soon as the thought enters his mind, he’s lost to it, wants so badly to try, just to see how Even reacts to it.

He puts his thumb on Even’s crack, rubs the puffy rim with it gently, just to test if Even will think that this is too much, but it makes Even whine and pant even more, makes him push back against it.

Isak continues to just run his thumb along the rim, watches how Even’s rim slowly opens up for him. It’s _obscene_ is what it is. Looking at how Even’s rim is sloppy enough for him to be able to do this. He just continues with his gentle massage, makes Even looser around his dick, and then he slows down, almost stops with his thrusts, producing a wailing sound of protest from Even.

He slowly, very, very slowly, starts to slide the thumb in alongside his dick. Just the tip, just checking if Even is ready for it. He can hear Even turn quiet under him, he’s still breathing hard, but he’s stopped making sounds. Just stays completely still for this. So Isak continues, just slowly pushes in a little bit more, and then a little bit more, and millimeter by tantalizing millimeter, he watches as Even’s hole just accepts his finger until it’s all the way inside of Even, just lying flush against his dick there.

It feels so weird, but in a _very_ good way. It adds to the pressure, makes Even feel tight all over again and Isak reluctantly tears his eyes away from how fucking obscene Even’s hole looks like this, stretched over his dick _and_ his finger, to check in with Even.

He almost comes from the sight Even makes. Even is clearly lost to it. His head is turned to the side on the pillow, his eyes are clenched shut and his mouth is open, panting. His lips are puffy, like he’s been biting them, and his skin is red everywhere. He’s covered in sweat and he’s trembling, and Isak’s never seen anything better in his entire life.

He wishes he could commit this to memory in perfect detail, because he knows that this is something he will think about often. How fucking gone he is capable of making Even look.

Nothing has ever been better than this. Nothing.

Even is so far gone that he’s not even making sounds anymore, and Isak has never experienced that before. It looks like a good sign, though. There’s absolutely nothing about Even that makes him think he doesn’t like this, doesn’t want this, but he has to be sure.

“Even,” he says, and he has to clear his throat and swallow the dryness away before he tries again. “Even, is this alright?” he asks, and this time his voice is much easier to understand.

Even licks his lips, opens his eyes, but he doesn’t really look like he’s seeing anything.

Isak wiggles the thumb experimentally, just to see what kind of reaction he gets out of Even with it, and Even whines, a high-pitched throaty sound that Isak has never heard him make before.

“Even, you need to tell me if I can continue.”

Although Even’s is clearly enjoying this, it seems like he’s pushing some sort of boundary doing it, and he needs to know if Even wants this.

“Yes, fucking yes, just…” Even sobs out, buries his head in the pillow so Isak can’t hear the rest.

Isak puts his hand on Even’s side, caresses it gently, trying to comfort him, trying to show him that he’s here.

“Isak…” Even says breathlessly. That way of saying his name goes straight to his dick, makes it twitch inside of Even. Even whines again at that movement and clenches his eyes shut. “It feels so good,” he whispers, like he’s somehow embarrassed by it.

And Isak hates that. It’s just the two of them, he doesn’t want Even to feel embarrassed by anything they do together.

So he slowly starts moving again, taking the urgency and the desperation out of the way he moves. Slow, meticulous rolls of his hips that pushes him and his thumb into Even repeatedly, controlled and lazy.

Even whines, rubs his forehead against the pillow, spreads his arms and grabs on to the duvet, almost pulling it completely from the bed.

Isak doesn’t let up, wants to worship Even, wants him to know how fucking sublime he is.

“You don’t even realize how perfect you look like this,” he whispers back. “Watching your ass take all of me _and_ my finger is just the best thing I’ve ever seen, baby.”

Even whines and turns his head from side to side, like he’s rejecting Isak’s words.

“You always make me feel so good, Even. You’re always so perfect for me,” he continues, making Even sob, but he finally turns his head to the side again and opens his eyes. He looks at Isak, really looks, and Isak just continues his slow thrusts, lets him look. Hopes that Even sees how genuine Isak is about this, how fucking much he means every word.

Even stays there, keeps looking at Isak, but he seems to return to himself a bit. Isak keeps the eye contact with him as he starts to thrust a little bit faster.

It’s a heady feeling having Even’s eyes on him like that. It’s more than just a look, it’s acceptance and love and _home_ , and Isak feels it spreading through his entire body like warmth, all the way to his toes and the tips of his fingers.

This man is his home.

It makes a fire burn under his skin, makes his balls tighten and his dick throb and just like that he’s much, much closer to orgasm.

Still looking at Even, he pulls back almost all the way, until only the tip is in next to his thumb, and he feels how Even’s hole is gripping at him, is trying to keep him inside. He stays there for two breaths, and then he slams in, all the way, making their skin slap against each other. The squelch and the sound of skin against skin is almost pornographic, and it makes Isak’s toes curl more, almost to the point of being painful, but he just doesn’t care.

Nothing matters but this.

He does it again, and again, and with every thrust, Even is pushed forward on the bed, until he grabs onto the wall and uses that to push himself back against Isak, making it even better. It makes the jabs inside Even more focused, more precise and Isak almost loses himself to it.

His hips are working faster and faster, his thumb inside Even causing his hand to be covered in cum to the point where it’s dripping from his wrist, but Isak fucking loves this. Even just gets tighter and tighter around him, like he’s being pushed towards the precipice as well, and Isak clenches his teeth at how fucking good it feels.

“Even, touch yourself, I’m so close,” he manages to spit out between pants, and Even immediately shifts under him.

It’s very obvious when Even gets his hand on his dick. He arches his back and pushes his head down into the pillow and he gets even louder.

Isak watches in fascination how good Even’s shoulder looks with the muscles working under his skin from Even stroking himself. It’s the best sight in the world and it makes Isak thrust faster until he’s pushing into Even repeatedly like a piston, giving him everything he has left in him.

He’s so fucking close, so close that he can almost taste it,

And then Even starts coming.

His hand is still frantically working under him, and he almost lifts up on his feet, like he’s simultaneously pulling away and pushing closer. And Isak can relate, this feeling is so much, it’s impossible to decide between trying to escape and just giving in to get more.

But seeing Even lose it like this, shaking and panting and wailing out his release is what ultimately pushes Isak off the ledge as well. His orgasm hits him like a freight train, just slams into him in a way that’s almost painful.

His entire body tightens and Isak roars out his release, surprising himself as he’s never been so loud before. He feels it spread, tingling zaps of electricity running over his skin, through his dick, collecting in his balls. He pushes as far inside of Even he possibly can get with his thumb still inside of him, pushes and pushes as he shoots deep inside of Even for the second time. Adding to the mess he’s made of him.

And somehow that thought makes him shoot another rope of cum inside of Even, and it’s almost painful the way his balls empty to the point where it feels like there’s nothing left in them.

As soon as he’s done, as soon as his body unlocks, he pulls out his thumb and collapses onto Even, who in turn collapses onto the bed. They’re both completely boneless, both just panting and shaking and Isak is almost lost to it.

He puts his arms under Even’s shoulders and just clings to him, feels Even shift under him so he can hug him easier. That small movement makes Isak slip out of Even, and he’s already completely soft, so spent he’s not sure when he’ll be ready for sex again.

Even whines as he does, and Isak’s sure that his hole must feel abused and sore. Isak’s never wanted to see anything more in his life. He has to swallow down a new moan just from the images that floods his mind. He needs to see, needs to see how bad (good) it is.

He gets up from Even even though his limbs are still shaking and weak, and Even makes a complaining noise at it. Isak crawls in between Even’s legs and sits back on his haunches. He gently spreads Even’s ass cheeks, shushing Even when he groans at it.

Isak’s never seen anything like it in his life. Even’s hole is so red and puffy, still gaping a bit and Isak swallows thickly from it. Feels it like a punch to his gut.

He’ll never be over this. Never be over how his cum is slowly leaking out of Even, how wet and glistening Even is there. He wants to touch, wants to know how hot Even is there, but he knows better. Even must be so sensitive, he doesn’t want him to be overwhelmed.

Even makes a sound that catches Isak’s attention and he looks up at Even with wide eyes and blushing cheeks, almost like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Which is ridiculous. He’s just made his boyfriend come his brains out, surely this won’t be too much.

Even just smiles at him, seems to enjoy Isak’s fascination and _fuck_. Even’s just perfect.

Isak has to kiss him then, has to know what that smile tastes like after he’s come so hard, so he lies down besides Even and kisses him until it feels like he can’t breathe.

It takes them a while to stop, to feel sticky and uncomfortable enough that they have to leave the bed. They end up showering together, and Isak can’t help but run his hands all over Even’s body, helping the water wash away the exertion and the aches in his muscles. He takes extra care helping Even wash between his ass cheeks, to wash the cum away and Even is kind enough to let him.

Isak isn’t sure what just happened, isn’t sure if this is something he particularly _wants_ to enjoy. But it seems it doesn’t matter, because he clearly does.

And looking at Even’s pleased smile and flushed cheeks, it’s clear that he’s completely on board with this as well.

Fucking hell. This game really is going to be the death of him. But it seems like it’s the kind of death he’d welcome with open arms.  

As long as it’s with Even. Always Even.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A is for again.
> 
> A big thank you to all of you who has made suggestions. It's so much fun to hear all your ideas! My list is growing really big, but of course if you think you have something new to add, please don't hesitate to tell me. :)
> 
> EDIT: I've done some meta on this chapter if you're interested. You can find it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169233046329/12-so-i-loved-your-metapost-about-isak-and). :)


	5. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to my girl Maugurt, for being and for betaing! <3
> 
> A big thank you to all of you who have made suggestions, you’re awesome! It’s so much fun to see what you guys come up with, and if you think you have something new to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy this piece of Friday smut. You’re welcome… ;) (and as always you can go to end notes to see what the letter is about if you can’t wait)

There’s a weird kind of tension between them the next day when they wake up. It lasts all through the day, and all the way through to the next day. It seems like they’re stuck in it.

Isak feels like what they did, what happened with A should bring them closer in some way, but instead, it’s making them quiet towards each other. Isak keeps thinking of things to say, the kind of stuff he would normally say, like _I remembered to buy toothpaste_ or _Should we watch the next episode of that show tonight?_ but he stops himself every time he opens his mouth. It just seems to end in a sharp inhale of breath that makes Even slump his shoulders every damn time, and Isak isn’t sure what Even is afraid he’ll say, but it’s clear that something is going on with him.

They even forget to draw a new letter. Once they’re both home, they just mutter around the apartment, kind of avoiding each other.

By the second day, Isak wakes up to Even turned away from him, on his side, and that makes Isak’s heart and stomach clench. He can’t stand to see Even so far from him, and it scares him.

This was never his intention, to make them grow apart because of this, and he knows that he has to say something, do something to disperse this weird atmosphere they’re shrouded in.

When he concentrates, he can hear that Even’s awake too by the way he breathes. Isak reaches out, puts his hand on Even’s shoulder and he’s surprised to feel Even shaking under him.

“Even, did I hurt you the other night?” he asks, suddenly so afraid of the answer as he’s sure that he must have. He almost can’t breathe from the way Even is behaving, and he’s so afraid that he’s the one that made Even like this.

Even doesn’t turn around to face him, keeps his body turned away, and Isak _hates_ it.

“Even…” Isak presses and he can hear the desperation in his voice.

“No, okay? No, you didn’t hurt me,” Even finally says but he sounds annoyed and Isak is so confused.

But at least he knows how to handle Even like this, knows that Even might sound annoyed, but he’s really not. So he moves closer to Even, scoots up to him until his body is flush against Even’s, and then he puts his arm around him, holds him close. He can feel Even exhale under him, loose some tension as he melts into Isak’s embrace, and that settles something in Isak, lets him know that things aren’t really that bad.

“Please talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on,” Isak whispers into Even’s hair.

There’s silence for a while, but it doesn’t feel like it’s a bad kind of silence. It’s the kind where Even takes his time to gather his thoughts, tries to collect them into words for Isak to understand. Isak revels in the fact that he knows this, that he understands Even so well by now that he knows not to get nervous from this pause.

“It’s just… It was just so much,” he finally says.

He doesn’t really have to say more, because with those few words Isak knows.

“I know. I felt it too,” he whispers and tightens his grip around Even.

This time his grip makes Even turn around in his arm to look at him. Isak smiles at him as soon as he can, lets his eyes rake over Even’s beautiful face, so happy that they’re finally facing each other.

Isak knows how hard Even finds losing control, how he still struggles with it. Like he feels the need to have this grip on himself constantly, to feel like he’s on top of his disease, to feel like it’s something he can live with.

It took Isak too long to figure this out, too long to realize that Even’s impulsiveness and take-it-easy-facade really was just a front for how insecure and scared he could be. How he hates feeling powerless in the face of his disease. And sometimes that translates into other parts of his life, like how he fights to let go from time to time.

Isak understands now, and accepts it. He loves the slow progression they’re making, and he trusts Even to tell him when it’s too much. But this is the first time it’s carried with them into the bedroom, and Isak wants so badly to keep it out.

Even is being brave as always, looks at him right back, his nerves and hesitations apparently gone with those few words of reassurance from Isak.

“I don’t want to stop, though,” he says.

“Me neither,” Isak sighs relieved, and pushes some of Even’s hair away from his forehead, lets his forefinger follow the slope of his cheekbone, down to his pretty, full lips. “We’ll go slow with the next ones, okay?”

Even nods and smiles back at him. His hand finds Isak’s side and he strokes it gently with his thumb.

Isak leans in, puts his forehead against Even’s, nuzzles his nose against his.

It makes Even smile wider, makes his eyes sparkle and Isak is powerless against it. He can’t help the small laugh that escapes him from seeing Even like this.

When Even closes the space between them completely, catches Isak’s lips with his own in a slow, lazy kiss, perfect for these kinds of mornings, Isak’s insides explodes with happiness.

Nothing is better than this feeling Even gives him.

\--||--

This time when Isak is drawing a letter, he’s not even nervous. He’s already gotten some of the really hard letters out of the way, and it’s gone quite well, if he says so himself. He actually feels pretty good about his chances for this one.

The way Even is smiling at him while Isak has his hand in the bag certainly helps with the calm feeling as well.

When Isak unfolds the piece of paper he chose, his stomach falls a bit when he reads the letter.

“W,” he says and shows it to Even, and Even looks at him with wide eyes.

“What are the odds?” he asks and it’s so obvious he’s fighting laughter, he’s biting his lip and fights the way his lips want to curl with a smile.

Isak can’t help but smile at the display he makes like that, and as soon as he does, Even starts to laugh for real. It’s the kind of laugh that Isak is powerless against, the kind that makes him double over and clutch his stomach and it’s so fucking contagious.

What _are_ the fucking odds? Three hard letters in a row?

At least he doesn’t have that nagging feeling in his stomach this time. This time he feels like it’s going to be alright. He’s going to work it out and they’ll have a good time with it.

At least, so far, he’s done alright.

\--||--

It’s not even a couple of hours later when the idea of what W can be just suddenly comes to Isak. He’s sitting in class, trying to pretend to be listening, while his mind is just drifting. He’s not really thinking of anything specific, almost like he’s thinking of everything at once.

But then, in a moment of clarity, he just knows. He sits up straight and can’t help but smile. This is going to be good, and just what they need right now. It’s honestly such a good feeling not being stressed about his letter, just knowing what it’ll be.

He feels good about it for the rest of the day.

\--||--

Two days later he has everything ready. It’s Friday and he knows that Even has no plans, and neither has he.

He turned down the boys wanting to pre-party with them as this was much more important. He’s pretty sure that they just want to take advantage of the fact that Isak and Even are the only ones who have moved out. But their place is so small, the last time they had a pre-party there it took them days to get all the chips cleaned up, so Isak has absolutely no problem turning them down.

He's waiting for Even to come home, is sitting on the bed and the bedside table is loaded with whatever he thinks they might need for the foreseeable future. He doesn’t want them to have to move too much once they get started.

Finally, he can hear the sound of keys in the lock, and he sits up straight at the sound. Isak waits patiently until Even has taken his jacket and shoes off, waits for him to seek him out. It doesn’t take long before he’s standing in the doorway, looking at Isak with raised eyebrows.

“What’s all this?” he asks and nods at the bedside table.

Isak doesn’t answer, just holds his arms out for him in invitation to join him on the bed. Even comes willingly, puts a knee on the bed and leans into Isak to kiss him. He nuzzles his nose, and Isak is already giddy with expectation.

He makes Even sit down next to him, backs up against the headboard of the bed, and he says, “I’ve made everything ready for us to have a nice, chill night tonight.”

Even looks at the things on the table and Isak takes out the most important thing. It’s still in a small box, and he gives it to Even.

Even is smiling now. It’s playful and easy, and it makes Isak’s heart beat faster.

“You got a gift for me?” he asks.

Isak shakes his head. “No, it’s a gift for us.”

Even’s eyes stay on him for a few long seconds and it’s making Isak feel hot all over the way Even is looking at him. Isak is almost squirming on the bed by now, just from this short interaction. He really needs to calm down, this is supposed to be chill and easy. That’s not going to work if he’s already a mess.

Even finally takes pity on him and opens the box. He laughs when he sees what’s in there; three fat, well-rolled joints.

“W is for weed,” Isak says with a big smile.

It doesn’t take long for them to get the first one going, to pass it between them in short intervals, blowing out smoke against each other. They talk and talk, music playing low in the background, and this is probably one of the best ways Isak knows to spend a lazy Friday night with his boyfriend.

They don’t do it often, they almost never do it, to be honest. It fucks with Even’s medication too much, but once in a while, they indulge. Isak loves smoking up with Even; it makes him loose in a way he rarely is, although Isak wouldn’t exactly call Even uptight normally.

They’ve never done anything sexual while high, though. They’ve done plenty of kissing and touching, but never anything more. Isak honestly hasn’t tried to plan that part. He’s not even sure they’ll get further than kissing tonight. It’s not even really about that, he just wants them to reconnect and get comfortable with each other again after what they did with A.

The first joint does exactly what Isak hoped for. It takes the edge off everything and they sit real close to each other, touching where they can, and it’s making Isak’s skin tingle.

It’s making them hungry, though, so Isak gets up and makes them cheese toasties while Even sits on the counter next to him. It’s such a perfect mirrored image of what happened between them before they got together, that Isak has to stop at one point to step in between Even’s legs and kiss him. He stays there a bit longer than he planned to, although he’s not really sure for how long they keep kissing.

It’s always so good to kiss Even while they’re high. It’s so different from how it normally is, like Isak’s lips and tongue are just much more sensitive. Despite the inevitable cotton mouth, Even’s kisses make him dizzy in a way they don’t normally make him. Makes him lose focus in a way he’s not really used to.

It’s a herculean struggle pulling himself away from Even again. He stays there for a few long seconds, though, his lips still real close to Even’s, enough that he can feel how he’s breathing harder as well. He’s feeling dazed already, completely run over by how _good_ Even feels against him.

Even has this slow smile on his face, like he’s simultaneously amused and aroused by Isak’s glazed look and Isak is powerless against it.

He swallows hard against the compulsion to lean back in, and just continue what they were doing.

“Right,” he says to himself in a rough voice that just makes Even smile even more.

He somehow manages to tear himself away from Even, and he doesn’t look at him again until he’s put the cheese toasties in the oven.

He doesn’t dare touch Even until they’re done, even though he’s set a timer. Just by looking at Even’s lips, he knows that they would be such a distraction that he probably wouldn’t hear the timer. And setting their kitchen on fire is definitely not on the agenda for tonight.

And it’s like Even knows it, keeps sitting there on the counter, smiling and being utterly _irresistible_. The fucker.

Once they’ve eaten the cheese toasties, they light up the next joint. They pass it between them until Isak just can’t keep away from Even anymore. His body has loosened up and he’s feeling so good that it’s hard for him to stop smiling. They’re still talking, but the subjects have reverted from _how is it going with that project_ to _what kind of differences do you think there are in the other universes_ and Even is going on about an elaborate story that almost sounds like the start of a script of a movie, but Isak isn’t really listening anymore.

It’s like his skin is tingling wherever he’s touching Even and he’s lost to the feeling. He can hear his breath hitch, can feel his dick twitch, and the sensation of it is reverberating through him and he needs more. This suddenly isn’t enough.

Without really thinking about it, he gets up and straddles Even. Even looks surprised at him as Isak settles on his thighs, but Isak just smiles. He takes the joint, takes a deep puff and then leans into Even. He puts his hand on Even’s cheek, directs him to where he wants him, and then he puts his lips real close to Even’s. He doesn’t kiss him, just keeps them there until Even gets the idea and opens them.

Their lips are hovering close without really touching as Isak slowly lets out the smoke. Even is good at this, is good at catching most of it, and it’s so oddly intimate, sharing breath and smoke like this.

It makes Isak grind against Even’s thigh, makes him tighten his grip on Even’s face, makes Even put his hands on his waist.

He doesn’t let up until there’s no more air in his lungs, until Even’s taken everything he has to give, and then he leans back enough for Even to blow it out.

Even’s pupils are blown and he’s looking straight into Isak’s eyes as he slowly lets the smoke out. He looks so fucking good doing it that Isak almost wants to _eat_ him. He definitely wants to lick his face, so he leans in and does just that.

The tip of his tongue runs over Even’s full lips, just sensing the contours of them with the added sensitivity he feels there. It makes Even whimper and pull him in tight by his neck for a searing kiss. And that’s all it takes for them to lose themselves in each other.

Isak just barely has the state of mind to put the joint out in the ashtray on the bedside table, and then he just gives into it.

The feeling of their tongues massaging each other, the slide of wet lips against his, the way Even’s hand clutches onto his hair, everything just feels so overwhelmingly _good_ , it makes Isak hard in seconds and has him trembling on top of Even’s thighs.

Even spreads his legs a bit, enough to make Isak slide further onto his lap and it deepens their kiss even more.

Isak likes this, likes how Even has to look up, strain his neck to be able to kiss Isak when he sits on top of him. He loves towering over Even, how it makes him control the kiss.

He’s teasing Even with his tongue, with his lips, pulls back from time to time to let Even chase him and it’s making them lean back further and further.

Isak knows that under normal circumstances, his thighs would probably be straining with exhaustion by now, but he doesn’t feel anything except this constant electrifying buzz under his skin from how perfect Even feels against him.

Isak is grinding against him, but it’s languid and slow, and even though they’re probably both feeling a little desperate now, it doesn’t quite translate to the pace they set kissing.

It’s almost like it’s not really about getting off. It’s more about the _feeling_ , about how right it is to be this close, to share air and space.

Isak doesn’t even quite now how long this continues, this way of kissing, of Even chasing his mouth, of him pulling at Even’s hair. He’s so lost to it, he hardly notices how hard it’s becoming for him to breathe.

Like it’s far away, he notices Even shifting under him, and in one fast move, the world shifts around him and he’s on his back on the bed. He lies there, stiff with surprise, blinking, until Even appears over him. He looks like he would be smiling under normal circumstances, but now he just lets his eyes flit over the features of Isak’s face, probably taking in how puffy and wet his mouth looks, how rosy his cheeks are, before he just settles on top of Isak and starts kissing him again.

Isak spreads his legs and lips to him immediately, is suddenly so fucking turned on from being manhandled like that. He’s whimpering against Even, rolling his hips up into his, is just clawing at him all ready to go.

“Come on, Even, jesus, touch me,” he’s muttering against Even’s lips, pulling at his clothes and Even gets up to take them off. He’s quick and efficient, and Isak really loves that about him right now.

He’s left on the bed, panting and shaking and just so fucking hard it almost hurts. He probably should start taking his own clothes off, but he’s too absorbed by the sight of all that skin on display as Even sheds more and more of his clothes.

When Even is naked, he looks at Isak and just shakes his head.

“What about you?” he asks and Isak smiles stupidly at him.

Even huffs out a laugh and starts helping Isak with his clothes. It takes much longer than it should, though. Even kisses his ankles as he takes Isak’s socks off, kisses his stomach as he unbuttons his jeans, kisses his thighs as he pulls them down his legs.

By the end of it, Isak is certainly naked, but he’s not sure he’ll ever really be the same again.

He’s feeling more desperate for Even than he’s ever been, desperate to touch him, to kiss his lips. All those small kisses all over his body has turned his skin into fire and now he just wants to burn.

It’s like the weed has dialed everything up to ten.

Every touch and every caress just feels like so much _more_. It leaves Isak panting and sweating and he’s reaching out for Even, hoping to pull him down on top of him. He just wants his hands on him, just wants him within reach.

His dick is throbbing and it’s already on the verge of being painful. It’s pulsing against his stomach and he just wants Even to touch it, to do something. He’s _dying_ here.

Even looks at him, takes in every centimeter of his body, always enjoys just looking at Isak when Isak is desperate.

Isak loves it, but at the same time he fucking hates it. He just wants to move on, just want Even to do something, anything.

“Touch me,” Isak repeats, completely unashamed in how close he is to begging by now. If Even keeps this up, he’s going to end up pleading. He’s just that close to losing it, just that close to saying fuck it to being dignified.

But thankfully, Even doesn’t wait any longer. He puts his big hand around Isak’s dick and Isak wails with relief. Fucking finally. He’s going to get some friction on his dick and he realizes that it’s not going to take much, he’s close to losing it already.

Even doesn’t move his hand, though. Just keeps it still, just keeps a loose grip on it and it’s taking Isak far too long to realize that Even’s not doing anything.

Isak tries to push him along, tries to thrust his hips into Even’s grip, but the grip is so loose that there’s no real satisfaction from doing it. Even smiles at him, but it’s a smile that tells Isak that Even is lost to this as well. That he’s riding his high just as much as Isak is.

Even puts his hand on Isak’s chest, slides it up slowly, until it’s on Isak’s throat where he lets it rest for a while. Isak swallows at the sensation, swallows at the idea that Even could tighten the grip right now and Isak would let him. Happily.

But Even lets go of his throat, slides his hand up further until he reaches Isak’s mouth where he proceeds to feed Isak his fingers.

Isak opens his mouth to it readily, pushes his tongue against them so they’re trapped between the roof of his mouth and his tongue, and he sucks on them gently. Just enough that his cheeks hollow out and he keeps up the eye contact with Even while he does this.

Even is completely focused on Isak’s mouth and Isak moans at the sight. Even is flushed and panting, and Isak knows that Even has a thing for seeing Isak suck on things so he makes a show of it.

He almost loses it when Even tightens the grip on his dick. It makes his mouth slack and enables Even to push his fingers further into his mouth.

There’s something about this, something about being used like this solely for Even’s pleasure that makes all the nerves in Isak’s body light up and he’s so fucking turned on. And somehow, it’s a complete surprise to him just how affected he is by such a small thing.

Even makes a strangled sound in his throat, and Isak loves how into this he is as well.

“Isak, your mouth…” Even whispers and it makes Isak moan to hear how his voice shakes.

He sucks at Even’s fingers again and that spurs Even into action. He leans down, and in one swift movement, he licks along the length of Isak’s dick.

Isak almost blacks out at the feeling. He’s so close to swallowing his tongue and he probably would have if he didn’t still have Even’s fingers in his mouth.

Even keeps licking him, small kitten licks that gets him warm and wet, but it’s not enough, it’s not even close. Even isn’t really giving him any kind of pressure, any suction, no nothing. And after a short time of this, Isak can’t help the small sounds of complaint that escapes him, how he’s thrusting his dick up into Even’s mouth trying to make him hurry up.

Even pulls his fingers out of Isak’s mouth, steadies Isak’s dick, so he can slowly lower his mouth over it, and Isak can’t help the sounds that’s pouring out of him.

It’s too much.

The sight of Even’s lips wrapped around him, how slow he’s going, how fucking good that wet heat feels around his dick, is making Isak lose it.

He’s grinding his teeth and jaw while he’s getting the sloppiest, slowest blowjob he’s ever gotten in his entire life. It’s almost like Even isn’t even really doing it for Isak’s sake, like he’s doing it for himself, just to feel what it’s like to have a dick in his mouth while he’s high.

Isak doesn’t really mind being experimented on, not at all. He might just prefer it at some point when he’s not dying of horniness himself.

His tongue is trying to wet his mouth, is running over his front teeth, over his lips, and he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. Somehow, it doesn’t register with him just how bad he needs something in his mouth, how bad he needs something to keep him busy while Even is working his dick, until it’s almost a physical need in him.

He’s whining and rolling his body a bit, puts his own fingers in his mouth, but it’s not enough, he needs something more.

“Even. Even, come up here,” he tries to say, but the words come up garbled around his fingers.

It makes Even look up at him and it makes him moan loudly around Isak’s dick when he sees Isak sucking on his own fingers.

Isak pulls them out of his mouth, and gets up on his elbows.

“You need to turn around. I need you in my mouth as well,” Isak says out of breath, and it’s not until he’s said it he realizes how absolutely true that is.

He needs Even’s dick in his mouth so bad, needs to taste it, needs to feel it against his tongue.

Once it’s out there, he’s consumed by the idea and Even is clearly on board as well.

It’s probably because he’s high, but Even tries to shift on the bed with his mouth still around Isak, tries to turn around without Isak’s dick ever leaving his mouth, and if they both weren’t high, this would probably be something that would make them laugh.

Seeing this tall boy with the longest limbs that he still sometimes loses control over, trying to make such a calculated difficult move, while attached to his boyfriend, is surely a sight to behold.

But Isak’s not laughing. He just wants Even to get on with it. To go faster.

Somehow, Even manages to shuffle his legs up the bed while moving his torso and Isak is making grabby hands towards his body for the entire duration.

As soon as Even gets close enough for Isak to be able to reach him, he just leans over and puts his mouth around Even’s dick. It makes them both groan, makes him close his eyes because of how fucking good it feels.

But he can’t reach that well, isn’t really as comfortable in the position he’s in as he should be for this, so he tries to scoot closer. That makes Even gag on Isak’s dick, and he finally pulls off.

“Watch out,” he says, and Isak will never admit it, but it does something to him to hear how rough Even’s voice is from having his dick down his throat.

It’s a good fucking sound.

It makes Isak almost dizzy with want, and he takes advantage of the fact that Even isn’t stuck to his dick anymore and turns over onto his side. He grabs onto Even’s hip and pulls at him, makes him understand that he should do the same.

Even follows easily, thankfully, and then they’re exactly how Isak wants them.

He has Even’s dick standing proud in front of him, wet and inviting, and it’s making his mouth water. Even shuffles on the bed and then Isak feels him wrap his lips around his head again.

Isak closes his eyes as it punches a sound out of him. His dick throbs hard and it’s just on the verge of making him afraid that he might be too close to coming.

He needs a distraction, he needs something that’ll pull him off the ledge, and what better way than to use the perfect distraction right in front of him.

He leans in, pushes himself away from that very comfortable place on the mattress he’s been lying in, and then he wraps his own lips around Even’s dick.

The first thing that hits him is the slightly bitter taste of Even’s precum. It makes his taste buds explode and floods his mouth with saliva. He feels Even moan around his dick and that makes him push himself further onto Even’s dick.

It’s such a good dick to suck too. It’s just perfect in Isak’s mouth, has the right girth, the right length, and Isak knows that it would be perfect to choke on, if he wanted that. He might. But right now, this is enough, just taking it down as far as possible, and then slowly slide it out while sucking as hard as he can. He can feel Even’s thighs shake against the bed and it’s perfect.

Isak could stay like this all day if possible. Just slowly sucking on Even’s dick, getting lost in how right it feels in his mouth, filling him up.

He works his tongue on the underside of Even’s dick, against the big vein that runs there, and he feels and hears Even’s breath speed up.

It’s a strange feeling to be able to feel every small thing he does to Even mirrored in the way he sucks his dick.

If he does something that Even particularly likes, his mouth gets slack and that in turn makes Isak slower, so Even gets his head back in the game and tightens his mouth on him again. It’s a good trade-off.

Isak doesn’t really think he’s ever given a blowjob that’s quite this slobby before. He knows his mouth is running over with spit, can feel it run down Even’s dick and wetting the sheet under Even, but Isak honestly just doesn’t care. It’s too _good_ to care about small things like that.

He puts his arm around Even’s hip, puts his hand on his ass and uses that to pull Even closer, enabling him to get more of Even’s dick into his mouth.

He somehow gets the other arm shuffled up so that he’s able to grab Even’s balls and he’s enjoying how good it feels to roll them between his fingers, to feel the weight of them in his hand, to feel the delicate skin there move under his ministrations.

It makes him speed up a bit, and from the sounds Even’s making, it doesn’t really seem like he’s complaining.

Isak’s never received a blowjob like this before either.

It’s overwhelmingly good, the way Even’s warm mouth feels around his dick. He’s using his hand to wrap around the part of him that’s hard to reach with his lips and it’s so good with all this pressure.

Even sucks and sucks, and it’s almost too hard but Isak takes it, he takes it all. Every motion, every sensation, is just so much more due to the weed. Normally, he would instruct Even on how to do it better, but there’s something about how sloppy this is that just gets to him.

They’re both just doing what they want, what their bodies dictates. There’s no real movement, no real chase towards the finish line.

Isak’s not even really sure if what Even’s doing is enough to get him to come. He doesn’t actually think so, but it still feels so fucking good, and there’s absolutely no way in hell that Isak is making him change what he’s doing.

Isak can feel the blood coursing through his body. His breath is so hard to catch with that fat dick in his mouth, but he doesn’t fucking care. He moans around it, sounds like a porn star, and he just wants to worship it more, wants to make Even feel just as good as he feels.

Even thrusts into his mouth and Isak lets him. Just tightens his grip on Even’s ass to let him know that it’s alright, that Isak doesn’t mind.

Even moans around Isak’s dick, and Isak feels a hand run over his hip and before he knows it, Even has two fingers running along his crack. Isak spreads his legs the best he can, thrust out his ass a bit so Even can reach it better.

He closes his eyes to the sensation when Even puts his fingers against Isak’s hole and just rubs his rim, adding to the mess of sensations coursing through his body already.

And okay, this. This might make him come if Even keeps it up.

Even just continues, doesn’t put his fingers inside Isak, but keeps massaging his rim, makes it tingly and raw in the best of ways, and Isak can feel it in his _toes_.

He ups the suction on Even’s dick, moans and groans around it, closes his eyes to how overwhelming it is getting so much sensation all at once, and Even removes his hand from his dick to take it down his throat further.

It’s like the most perfect feedback mechanism Isak’s ever experienced. Every time he gets a bit more desperate, a bit more frantic with how good it feels, he just sucks harder, takes Even further in his mouth, and it makes Even do the same to him.

Isak is pretty sure that he’s getting dehydrated with how much saliva he’s coating Even in, but it’s easy to distract himself from it, to not really worry about it, because he’s this close to coming from Even’s mouth and fingers.

Isak tightens his grip on Even’s ass and it somehow makes Even thrust his dick deep into his mouth, down his throat, coaxes a gag and a surprised sound out of Isak, and he tries to pull off. But Even’s hips are chasing him, are keeping Even’s dick in his throat for far longer than he’s really comfortable with. He gags around it once more, and then he pushes at Even’s hips, trying to get him off.

That final gag is the thing that pushes Even off the ledge. He makes a high-pitched sound, a sound that Isak feels in his own dick in a way that makes his balls pull up tight and his stomach hurt with how close he suddenly is, and then Even starts coming.

The first rope of cum doesn’t even completely register with Isak as it’s being shot directly down his throat, but then Isak manages to push Even completely off him and the next rope of cum lands on Isak’s face.

He confusedly puts his hand around Even and works him through it, closes his eyes to it, and he’s not really sure how he’s supposed to feel about Even just unloading himself on Isak like this, without even a little bit of warning.

Isak can already feel it dripping down his face, can feel it on his eyelids and on his nose, but Even just keeps on coming. Isak’s easily distracted from his annoyance by the way the sounds Even’s making feels against his dick.

It’s mind-blowingly good, even though Even’s not really doing anything with his dick anymore. His mouth is too slack, he’s too lost in his own orgasm to help Isak along, but it’s still good.

His fingers are curling at the orgasm, is making his fingertips breach Isak and that makes sweat break out all over his body. Makes him push down a hand between them and take matters into his own hand, so to speak.

He only has to stroke himself a few times, helped by the fingers almost in his ass, and he comes like that.

But this isn’t like any kind of orgasm he’s ever had before. This one is slow, starts in his balls, makes him experience how the cum is pushed out of him, moves onto a deep ache in his groin, a throb that makes him convulse with its intensity, makes him groan until his throat aches, until it moves on, moves slowly from there and into the rest of his body, filling him up with hot lava, making him burn from it.

It’s overwhelming in the best of ways, almost at the point of too much. He’s so lost in it that the world could collapse around him and he wouldn’t notice.

Nothing gets through, there’s just this pounding of blood rushing through his veins, of breath being sucked from his lungs, of muscles becoming tighter and tighter, and the bone deep relief that comes with every rope of cum being ejected from his body.

It’s mind-blowingly good.

He’s whining and shaking through the last convulses, and then his body just collapses on the bed. There’s just nothing more to give in him, nothing left.

He’s shaking, sweating and panting, a complete mess on the bed, eyes still crusted over with Even’s cum.

He rests his forehead against Even, against any part he can reach. He just needs to be close to him, to know that he’s real, that Isak’s still real somehow.

That this orgasm hasn’t made him float away.

He can feel Even shift against him, but he can’t open his eyes to really see what Even’s doing. He feels him kiss his oversensitive skin where his thigh turns to hip and it makes him pull back. It’s close to being too much.

He can feel the bed dip and then he hears how Even leaves it, and he can’t believe how Even is capable of that, how there’s function in him when Isak’s such a mess.

He startles when Even puts a gentle hand on his head and starts wiping the cum off his eyes and face with a warm towel.

Isak can feel himself already slipping off to sleep. He’s in that magical in-between state, not really awake, but not really sleeping either.

Even hums while he works, and the melody is familiar, but Isak can’t really be bothered trying to figure out what song it is.

He lets Even take care of him, gives himself over to it, and when Even is done, he feels him cuddle up to him, wrap him in his arms and legs as he pulls the duvet over them.

Isak is warm, satiated and safe. He’s not sure he’s ever felt better than he does right this second.

He falls asleep with the knowledge that no matter how awkward they get with each other, it won’t take much to get them to become themselves again.

In this case, a couple of joints and a little bit of imagination was enough.

Isak hopes that they’ll stay like that forever, that that’s a part of them that will never change. That no matter what happens between them, no matter how many problems that tries to tear them apart, that it will always be that easy for them.

That they’ll never need more than that to be alright.

Just each other. And a little bit of imagination.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W is for weed.
> 
> So I guess it seems like I have weekly updates for this, and at the moment I kinda do, but I won’t be continuing these fast updates for the entire fic. I’ve really started working on other things now and that means I won’t be able to update as often. I already have the next chapter written though, and the next one after that plan, so at least there’s that… :) :)
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: On request, I've done some meta on my tumblr about Even's reaction the morning after A. You can read it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169588141834/hiii-if-i-could-could-i-request-a-meta-on-what) if you're interested. :)


	6. Y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a really fun chapter to write, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. :)
> 
> Thank you to Maugurt, for being awesome and for beta’ing. <3
> 
> And thank you to YOU guys, for making this fic so easy to write with all the feedback that you’re giving me. I’m enjoying every single comment and kudos and tumblr interaction, I cannot even begin to tell you how happy you’re all making me. <3
> 
> As always, you can go to the end notes if you want to see what the letter is about.

It’s impossible for Isak to hide his glee when Even shows him the letter.

“Y,” he says and smiles in the most obnoxious way.

Even tilts his head and smiles back, is somehow not completely put off by how spiteful Isak is being.

“Y,” he confirms, nods and looks at the paper again.

Fucking finally!

It was about time for Even to draw one of the hard letters. Isak’s face is almost starting to hurt with how wide he’s smiling and he’s making Even laugh.

“You know, I don’t particularly think Y is a hard letter.”

And well, fuck him. Isak’s smile falls a little bit, he has to cough into his hand to hide how he’s this close to scowling at Even.

“Sure you don’t,” he says instead.

Even just leans in and kisses him. And because Isak is a good boyfriend, he lets him.

\--||--

Okay. Apparently, Isak’s mind is a dangerous place when it comes to these letters. It’s been two days since Even drew the letter, and Isak is going crazy.

Y. Y? What even is that letter? Isak is once again stuck on some pretty horrible things, and he’s done one little tiny google-search, just to _see._ And he wishes he hadn’t.

See, apart from the horrible image yiffing put in his mind, the google search (and the urban dictionary he managed to find explaining yiffing) kept coming back to yellow. As in _urine_. And no fucking way.

Just no.

And unfortunately, it seems like Isak’s mind is stuck on it now. He knows that Even is not really adventurous enough for that, but what if he is? What if deep down, Even really wants to pee on him?

Would Isak let him?

He’s honestly not sure. He just can’t see it as sexy, worries about the bacteria and the other things in it. And the _smell_. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to be boring, doesn’t want to say no just _because_.

He really, really hopes that that’s not what Even has in mind for Y.

\--||--

He gets his answer that same night.

He’s standing a few meters from the bed, as instructed by Even, who’s rummaging through a bag.

“Isak, take your clothes off,” he says again, exasperated as he’s already said that twice now.

Isak will. He’s going to any minute now. He just…. He needs to know what’s going to happen. His mind is fucking with him, making him nervous in a way he hasn’t quite been before.

Even stops what he’s doing and looks at Isak. He looks like he’s about to come over there himself and take Isak’s clothes off for him, and that finally pushes Isak to start.

He reluctantly pulls his hoodie over his head and he’s much slower about it than he normally would be.

Even stands there, hands on his hips, and Isak almost expects him to start tapping his foot in impatience any moment now.

Okay, Isak needs to calm down. It’s not going to be urine. It’s _not_. He’s pretty sure that Even wouldn’t do that.

But it doesn’t quite help Isak’s poor, fragile nerves, when Even, seemingly satisfied that Isak is getting naked, pulls out a big sheet of plastic from the bag. Without looking at Isak, he starts spreading it out over the bed, tugging it in in the corners, making sure it’s covering the bed completely and Isak is flushing with something akin to panic from seeing that.

“Red,” he manages to stutter out, but it’s so low he can barely hear it himself.

Even doesn’t react to it, just keeps going, and when he’s done, he looks sort of proud of himself as he turns around to Isak.

“Red!” Isak almost shouts. It’s definitely too loud for how short the distance is between them.

Even raises his eyebrows and looks at Isak surprised.

“Isak. What’s going on?” he asks and takes a step towards Isak.

“I can’t…” Isak starts, but has to swallow hard to get the rest of the words out. “I can’t do _that_.”

Even looks between Isak and the bed, frowning, like he just doesn’t understand.

“What do you think is going to happen here, baby?” he asks, and even before the words are fully out of his mouth, Isak is shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do it, I’m not adventurous enough for that.”

His hands are shaking and he puts them up between them as a shield, trying to make Even understand just how unappealing this is.

Even shakes his head and he’s still frowning.

“What? Isak, it’s Y for yellow,” he says like that makes it _better_ somehow. It doesn’t. It really doesn’t.

“There’s just no way that I can let you pee on me,” Isak blurts out and he’s so close to escaping the apartment, doesn’t even care that he’s down to his socks and briefs.

Even breaks down laughing, is standing there in his own briefs, sockless though, and is bending over from laughter.

It makes Isak smile as well, almost against his will, even makes him relax a bit. Although, he’s still on edge.

Even fights his laughter, tries to speak, but it takes him a little while to be able to. He stands up and puts his hand on his chest.

“You really think I’m going to pee on you?”

Isak rolls his eyes and shifts on his feet. Obviously that isn’t the plan with the way Even’s acting, but how’s Isak supposed to know that?

He points to the bed. “I don’t know? Maybe it’s the plastic sheet? And the fact that Y is for yellow?”

This makes Even laugh again, and he closes the distance between them, puts his hands on Isak’s cheeks and kisses him.

He’s still laughing, so it’s more like he presses his teeth to Isak’s lips and it’s clear that he thinks that Isak is being cute.

“Jesus Christ, I love you and how your mind works,” Even says and steps away from him to get the bag on the floor. “Y is for yellow,” he repeats and shows Isak the content of the plastic bag.

It makes Isak exhale in relief, and makes him smile as well.

Inside are five tubes of paint in different yellow nuances and some brushes of different sizes.

“Are we going to paint?” Isak asks a little bit confused and very much relieved.

Even smiles at him and bounces on his legs. “No. I’m going to paint you.”

\--||--

That is how Isak finds himself climbing onto the bed and lying down on his back as instructed. He puts out his arms and his legs, makes as much skin available to Even as he possibly can.

He’s finally naked. Once he realized what was about to happen, it was easy for Even to get him out of the last articles of clothing, and he’s already half-hard in anticipation.

Even is taking his time getting everything ready. Isak closes his eyes to it, tries to get into the low music playing in the background and the sounds of Even pouring the paint into small cannisters.

The first stroke of the brush catches Isak completely off guard. Enough to startle him and that makes Even say, “Stay still,” in a very annoyed voice and Isak takes a deep breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Even says, making Isak open his eyes to look at him.

Even leans down to kiss him and then goes back to work.

Isak doesn’t close his eyes this time. Looks at Even, observes how concentrated he is as he dips the brush in one of the canisters with paint and turns his gaze on Isak again.

“I’m going to paint you now, okay?” he warns this time.

Isak nods, feels the plastic crinkle under him, and braces himself for it.

It’s very different when Even takes the brush to him this time. He starts on the left of Isak’s torso, just below his ribs, and gently paints a strong, bold line up towards his shoulder.

It leaves goosebumps in its wake, even though the room isn’t cold. It’s just such a delicate feeling, the way the wet brush slides over his skin, leaving a slowly drying line behind.

Isak suddenly understands why Even wanted to do this, how it can be sexual and sensual to be painted like this.

Even takes his time with it, alternates between brushes and nuances. Isak falls into an almost trance-like state of having the brushes work on his skin, tries to focus on the differences between how the big, harder brushes and the small, delicate ones feel against his skin.

When Even starts painting the skin around Isak’s nipples, it makes him sigh and squirm a bit. He tries to keep still, but it’s such a good feeling that it’s almost impossible.

Even stays there for a while, paints them in several nuances, keeps stroking them with different brushes and it’s slowly making Isak fully hard.

His nipples are rock-hard and so sensitive by the time Even _hmms_ appreciatively and finally decides to move on, at which point Isak’s mouth is open and he’s breathing harder.

Even is meticulous in his work, seems to have a plan for every centimeter of Isak’s skin and Isak is starting to heat up from it.

It’s such a soft and tender feeling to be covered like this in Even’s creativity, the outlet for his mind, and it’s affecting Isak way more than he expected it to.

When Even gets to his navel, he suddenly stops and starts on Isak’s feet instead, and Isak can’t help feeling vulnerable with the attention Even is putting on them.

Even slowly paints up Isak’s calves, and he’s alternating between long, steady strokes and small, fine ones and every single one makes Isak’s skin tingle, makes small zaps of electricity shoot from every point of contact up to his dick.

At one point, the brush pulls at the hairs on his leg and the pain from it is such a surprising contrast of sensation that it punches a strangled sound out of Isak and makes Even pause.

He looks at Isak, and Isak looks back at him with dazed eyes. He keeps his eyes on Isak for a moment longer, takes in how disheveled he looks, gives him a small smile, and then gets back to work.

As soon as the brush hits his skin again, Isak sighs in satisfaction.

It’s almost an addicting feeling, having all of Even’s focus on him, having the soft hairs of the brushes run over his skin. It tickles, but at the same time it doesn’t. It leaves an awareness in his skin, like his nerves are alert on the surface and it just makes everything feel so good. So much.

Even is humming along to the music, and it would be easy for Isak to lose himself in it, if not for the fact that Even is painting his thighs now and is moving closer and closer to Isak’s dick.

He wishes Even would paint it. Would love for him to fucking drench it in paint and spread it all over with his hands.

Just the idea of that makes Isak pant and tighten his fists in the plastic under him. His eyes are closed now and he’s completely focused on every brush stroke, on every touch.

Isak has no idea what kind of image Even is painting on him, doesn’t even know if it’s supposed to mean or depict something. All he feels are swirls of yellow, like there isn’t any order or form to it. It’s impossible for him to keep track of where Even’s been with the brush and what exactly he was doing there.

As soon as Even reaches the top of Isak’s thighs he leaves them and starts on the fingers of Isak’s right hand. He gently loosens Isak’s tight grip on the plastic sheet and makes him relax his hand.

It makes Isak sigh impatiently, makes him shift his hips a bit, wishing that Even would stay there instead, continue giving his thighs, and hopefully something else in the vicinity, attention.

Instead, Even just continues painting him, paints his hand on the inside and outside, paints his wrist and continues up slowly, slowly on his arm. When Even reaches his armpit and starts painting along the wet hairs there, Isak can’t keep in the moan anymore.

This is really getting to him.

Having Even’s complete attention on him like this is making him dizzy and he licks his lips at how much he wants to kiss Even now. How badly he wants to move things along.

But Isak is pretty sure that Even wouldn’t allow it, wouldn’t let him speed things up. Once in a while Even gets like this, like he has a plan in his head and it’s just impossible to make him divert from it.

So Isak clenches his teeth, has to fight his impulse to get up and just kiss Even, has to settle into the idea of just lying there and take it.

By the time Even has painted the ball of his shoulder and is moving on to the next arm, Isak has started to shiver.

He’s not cold, not at all, but there’s just so many sensations. It feels like so _much_ that his body has to have an outlet for it in some way. And if it can’t be through his dick, it seems it’s going to be through his muscles.

Even pretends like he doesn’t notice how his attention is making Isak shiver, and Isak appreciates it. It makes him feel a bit vulnerable how much his body is giving him away, how raw this is making him feel. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like Even minds. Or even really cares.

Isak turns his head a bit, just enough for the plastic to crinkle under him, so he can watch Even easier now that he’s on the other side of him.

Even looks like he’s lost to the world. Like he’s hyper-focused on what he’s doing, so concentrated that Isak almost feels like a canvas. And that makes him shiver even more.

It’s a heady feeling being under such scrutiny, and he tries his very best to lie still so that Even will be satisfied with him. He doesn’t want to disappoint when Even is clearly pouring his heart into this.

By the time Even is done with his other arm, is putting the last touches on his shoulder, Isak is full on panting. His dick is straining against his stomach, pulsing with every beat of his heart, dripping precum down onto his stomach.

Even ignores it, drives Isak a little bit more crazy as he starts painting his neck instead.

Isak is really sensitive about his neck. It doesn’t take much to make him ticklish, but somehow, these meticulous strokes just make him tilt his chin up, makes him bare more skin for Even.

Even hums appreciatively at Isak’s display, and paints a long line up his neck, over his chin, ending it just below his lips.

Isak’s lips tingles with that almost-touch, enough that he licks them, just to shake the feeling, how it’s making him pout a little bit in anticipation.

He almost startles when Even puts a finger on his bottom lip and pulls at it a bit, just enough for him to show teeth and Even looks so affected by that small touch that Isak sighs shakingly. Even’s eyes are almost completely black and he’s breathing almost as hard as Isak.

Isak diverts his eyes from the beautiful sight of Even like that, and looks down his body instead. His breath hitches when he sees Even’s dick standing proud, rock hard and absolutely irresistible.

But Isak fights his desires, fights how badly he wants to wrap his hand around Even, to touch him in almost any way now, and keeps still. It’s hard, but he manages.

He has to close his eyes now, though. There’s just no way he can keep looking at Even anymore and not touch. His fingers are itching to feel Even’s skin, but he pushes his hands into the plastic under him and somehow manages not to move.

Even continues, doesn’t paint his face, but moves on to the only place left of Isak’s body that he hasn’t painted now; the expanse of skin between the top of his thighs and his navel.

Isak has to take a deep, calming breath at the idea of what’s going to happen now, how close Even will be to his dick as he’s painting, but it doesn’t really help with the anticipation building up in him.

Even is back to humming along with the music in the background, and the first stroke of the brush along the sensitive skin of Isak’s lower stomach makes him clench his abs. Even continues unperturbed, uses one of the big brushes to paint along Isak’s side, along his stomach, purposely ignoring Isak’s straining dick, even though Isak swears he can almost feel Even breathing on it.  

Even takes one of the smaller brushes, and runs it through the pool of precum gathered on Isak’s stomach and mixes it in with the paint already there.

Isak stops breathing from it. It’s so dirty and perfect that Even’s doing that, that he almost doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can’t help how the feel of the brush painting him with his own fucking precum is making him move his feet. All that tension has to be released in some way, and right now, his only possible release is through his feet. Even’s not paying attention to them, so surely he won’t notice Isak moving them.

If he does, he doesn’t let Isak know, and it’s such a fucking relief to get to move something.

Isak’s calves are straining against the plastic under him and he clenches his teeth against how loud it crinkles from it. His skin is so slick with sweat now that he’s kind of sticking to the plastic, but he knows that by the end of this he’ll probably be sliding on it.

The laziness of the way Even is painting on him is making his body flush, and he knows that he’ll only sweat more as time goes by. Especially now that Even is so close to his dick and is doing such dirty things with his precum.

Isak has to bite his lip to keep in the sounds threatening to escape him. He’s this close to just saying fuck it and thrust his hips. There’s just so much tension in his body after all this time of being under Even’s meticulous scrutiny that simply moving his feet is proving not to be quite enough.

Every muscle in Isak’s body is tense by now. He’s straining all over from holding back and he has to hold his breath to keep still when Even starts painting along the dibs of his abs. When Even runs the brush along the hairs along his treasure trail, Isak just can’t keep still anymore.

He gives a small, _minute_ , thrust of his hips and almost immediately Even whispers, “Keep still.”

Isak exhales roughly and almost feels like sobbing. “Even, I…” he starts but stops when he realizes just how whiney his voice sounds.

He doesn’t want to come off as a petulant child, that’s just not sexy.

He clears his throat and starts again, “You’re driving me crazy with this.”

He can hear Even’s lips part in a smile and Isak has to open his eyes to watch it. Even smiling is just too good to pass, even after all this time. There’s still this place in Isak’s heart, in his stomach, that heats up every time he sees it. He’s still powerless against it.

It’s a mighty weapon Even holds, but Isak knows that he will never misuse it against him.

He keeps his eyes open after this.

Even keeps the smile on his face as he continues painting Isak, but now he ups the ante as his tongue is added to the game. It’s something he does when he’s really enjoying what he’s doing. Isak has noticed it plenty of times, the way the tip of it will just slide out and rest there on the side of his mouth.

It’s utterly irresistible.

There’s never been a time when Isak hasn’t noticed, where it didn’t make him want to kiss Even, to touch that tongue with his own. This is no exception.

Even is finally making his way down now, slides down a bit on the bed himself to get a better view of Isak, and while he keeps his eyes on his work on Isak’s stomach, he just says, “Spread your legs.”

Like that doesn’t make Isak flush even more and almost swallow his tongue with the implication.

Is Even going to paint him _there_?

How would that even work? How would he even wash that away after they’re done?

But he trusts Even enough that he doesn’t even question it, just opens his legs up for Even.

Even _hmms_ , satisfied with how willingly Isak does what he’s told to do, and puts his large hand on the underside of Isak’s thigh where he hasn’t started painting yet.

“No, more,” he says and pushes at Isak’s leg so Isak has no choice but to bend it up towards his chest. “Yeah, keep it there.” And Even doesn’t let go of his grip on Isak’s leg until Isak has put his own hand around it and is holding on so tight that there’s no chance of it moving anywhere.

Even immediately starts working and Isak pushes his head into the pillow from how frustratingly good it feels to have Even work his way closer and closer to where Isak’s the most sensitive.

The grip he has on his thigh is so hard that his knuckles are turning white, but there’s just no way that he can let up on it. Right now it almost feels like it’s the only thing tethering him to the present, the only thing that’s keeping him there, keeping him from just throwing Even onto the bed and sitting on his dick.

He’s getting _very_ close to desperate. Every cell in his body feels like they’re vibrating from anticipation, from excitement.

It’s almost too much now.

Even paints his inner thigh in frustratingly small strokes, interspersed with small, pointy taps for dots that Isak is sure are added to drive him fucking insane.

Even finally gets close enough that a long line is painted up the entire crease where his thigh meets his hips and he pulls at his other thigh and cannot keep a strangled sound in anymore.

He closes his eyes again to the exquisite pleasure of Even slowly leaving a wet trail of paint over his balls, and he’s using the smallest of the brushes, probably to tease Isak the most, but it’s like Isak can feel it _everywhere_ in his body.  

Every hair on his groin is acting like a sensor, every small touch is amplified a million times on the way to Isak’s brain. Every nerve in the area is shooting like crazy with even the smallest of touches and Isak has given up on being quiet.

He’s just giving himself over to it, is not even really consciously aware of how he’s started to move now, just lets his body take over and dictate what he’s doing. There’s just no capacity in his brain to keep himself still when there’s so much sensation coming from every gentle line Even leaves on him. Every twirl and every tap makes Isak’s toes curl and makes him swallow against the dryness in his throat.

He knows that he’s messing up the art Even’s left on his stomach as he can feel how his dick is dripping with precum now, and it hasn’t even been touched. He’s not sure how he’s going to survive when that happens.

The first broad stroke of a large pencil against the vein that runs on the underside of his dick makes him stop breathing all together. The stroke is fast for once, all the way from his balls to the tip, where Even stops before the glans. He keeps the paint to the foreskin, keeps away from the now extremely over-sensitive part of Isak, and Isak is done being quiet. The sounds are pouring out of him and he doesn’t even care anymore how loud he is. Although he is being _very_ loud.

He’s so far gone in his head that he doesn’t even realize that Even has apparently gotten hold of the lube, before he feels wet fingers at his hole. He groans at the feeling, at the promise those fingers hold, and he doesn’t even care at this point whether Even is using lube or if he’s just using the paint. He knows that’s something to worry about later, _after_ , but right now, he just doesn’t fucking care.

Even is finally touching him where he wants him to.

Even circles his rim with his slick fingers and Isak just wants to grab his hand so he can push them inside.

He’s desperate for something, for anything, to happen now, he needs Even to move it along and he’s so gone that it just can’t happen fast enough now.

Even shushes him, must sense how fucking frantic Isak is getting, but that’s just not helping matters. At all. Isak doesn’t want to be shushed. He wants Even to fucking make him _come_.

He’s about to open his mouth and curse at Even’s lack of speed when Even wraps a hand around his dick at the same time as those fingers breaches him, all the way to the first knuckle, and Isak is dying with how _good_ it feels.

Two fingers at once would normally be too much, but right now, it’s just right. He’s so eager for more that the burn just adds to the pleasure, just makes him sweat even more, to the point where he’s sure that it must be pooling on the plastic.

Even strokes Isak once and pushes his fingers into the next knuckle and Isak makes a sound so loud that he feels it reverberating through his entire chest and he pulls up his other thigh, grabs it with his hand, opens himself completely up for Even’s fingers.

He’s sure that he must make quite the sight, head pushed into the pillow, neck on display, every muscle clenched, and his legs pulled tight into his body by his hands. He’s putting everything on display for Even, makes no attempt to hide how affected he is from what Even’s been doing to him.

He’s sure that this is exactly what Even had hoped for when he planned the letter, and Isak is happy to give it to him.

He’s happy with whatever Even wants as long as he’ll keep touching him.

Thankfully, it’s like Even understands just how frenzied Isak is feeling, is becoming from all these touches, and he’s not slow in his movements anymore. He goes straight from lazy, slow strokes of paint to full on fucking Isak with his long, broad fingers and Isak can do nothing but just lie there and take it.

His hold on his thighs is so tight that he can feel it hurting his muscles, but he just doesn’t fucking care. It’s too good, it’s just what he needs.

Of course Even knows that he can’t hold back with this, of course he realizes just how far gone Isak is. There’s just no room left for patience anymore, he needs to come, and he needs it now.

Even is fucking into him fast with his fingers, has expertly found his prostate and is jabbing it with every push and Isak is a complete mess in no time.

His dick is pulsing under Even’s strong grip and everything in him just screams _harder_ and _faster_ and _more_.

Even obliges. He tightens his grip on Isak’s dick and strokes him faster and honestly, Isak can’t be sure that he didn’t just say those words out loud.

It’s almost too much sensation after being subjected to all that teasing for so long. He’s drowning in pleasure, can feel his body and brain being overloaded from it and he’s writhing on the bed, sliding on the plastic.

He’s not sure he’s ever been so on edge as he’s feeling right now, and Even’s fingers are only pushing him along further.

It’s too much, it’s unbearable, it’s not _enough_.

Even stops thrusting with his fingers buried deep inside of Isak, and just keeps the pads of his fingers on Isak’s prostate. He rubs it, insistently and a bit more roughly than Isak would normally prefer, but it’s working. It only takes a few more strokes of his dick before Isak just gives into it and comes.

It feels like a fall this time, like everything in him just lets go all at once, and it’s the strangest feeling in the world. It’s encompassing and intense in a way that pulls him completely from his brain and makes him just _feel_ in his entire body.

It streams from his dick, into his balls that are aching with how hard he’s shooting, and every single cell in his body tingles with it while he’s roaring out his release.

He doesn’t think he’s ever quite been this loud before.

But he doesn’t care, he doesn’t fucking care. Not when Even just keeps rubbing his prostate, prolonging his orgasm impossibly more and Isak shakes and moans through it.

When the final rope of cum is released from him, adding to the mess on his chest and stomach, he feels raw and vulnerable.

He’s dazed and too far gone to even consider untangling himself from the hard grip he has on his thighs, so he just lies there, staring at the ceiling, wide-eyed and blinking. Like he’s not really present in his body.

Even is saying something, but Isak can’t hear it from the roar of blood in his ears and it’s almost too intense how he’s not really settling down from his orgasm. It’s like he’s still riding the high, like he still can’t catch his breath.

He comes back to himself partially when Even puts his hands over Isak’s and slowly helps him untangle his grip, pulls the fingers off his thighs one finger at a time. Isak’s legs are stiff when Even helps him unfold them and he has absolutely no strength left, making Even place them gently on the bed.

He’s shushing at Isak again, but this time it’s not to shut him up, it’s to calm him down, to make him at home in his body again.

Isak appreciates it so, so much. The tinder of his voice helps Isak find his way back, makes him more and more present in his mind and without realizing it, he’s staring at Even instead of the ceiling.

Isak is watching him gently and reverently make sure that Isak can feel his limbs again, has blood back into his hands. He massages them gently, puts Isak’s hands between his and kisses the tips of his fingers softly while he looks back at Isak.

It’s not hard to see that he’s brimming over with happiness, is just waiting for Isak to get back to himself enough that he can join him.

As soon as Isak finds his ability to speak, he asks in the roughest voice he’s probably ever had in his life.

”What about you?”

Even flushes a bit from it, just a tinge of red on his cheekbones that makes Isak _melt_ , and he looks down on Isak’s hands like he’s a bit embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it, I…” he says on a breath and Isak thinks he understands, but it’s not until he looks down and sees Even’s only half-hard dick that he realizes.

“Did you come just from looking at me?” he asks and he’s not sure whether he should laugh or cry. Somehow that feels much more intimate than what they just did, what they’ve done so far.

Even smiles and ducks his head even more, like he’s not quite sure how to react to it either. And that settles it for Isak, makes him crave to be close to Even in a way he hasn’t been allowed all night. It’s this that makes him desperately frantic to feel Even against him, this misplaced vulnerability from Even.

Isak grabs onto Even’s hand and pulls him towards himself and Even lies down willingly on top of him, between his legs. Isak is quick to wrap his arms and legs around him, doesn’t care about the mess on him or how that’ll probably fuck up Even’s hard work.

“I love you,” he says, breathes it straight into Even’s ear, makes sure that there’s no escaping those words.

Even relaxes against him, melts into his touch and puts his arms around him as well.

The plastic crinkles loudly at that and it makes Isak giggle.

“Next time, maybe you should consider getting plastic that doesn’t make that noise?” Isak laughs and it’s making Even laugh as well.

“Next time?” he asks and pulls back enough that he can look at Isak, and even though he’s trying to make it sound playful, it makes Isak feel like it’s really an ask for assurance. And there’s nothing in this world Isak wouldn’t do to provide him with that.

“Yeah, definitely. I’ve never tried anything that intense before. It felt amazing being your canvas.”

The way that makes Even smile makes Isak finally settle completely back in his body, replaces the restlessness with calmness.

Even strokes his chin and Isak smiles back, a big genuine smile that he can feel in his toes.

God, it shouldn’t be possible to love this much, but he’s so glad it is.

\--||--

After, when they’re done holding on to each other and Isak is able to leave the bed, he’s standing in front of the big mirror in their bedroom and looks at himself in amazement.

It always somehow catches him by surprise just how talented Even is. What felt like a disorganized mash of nuances is actually a complete picture when Isak gets to look at it fully. He’s covered in the most beautiful array of yellow, highlighting his muscles and his freckles and there’s no doubt in his mind that this is a work of love, of worship.

He’s sorry that it’ll be lost the minute he turns on the shower, because he’s never felt quite so beautiful as he does this second.

It almost feels like he’s covered in an embodiment of Even’s love, there’s absolutely no way he can doubt how much Even loves him, looking at how he’s painted him.

It makes him high all over again, makes it impossible for him to not smile.

This is his life. This is what he has to look forward to every day.

And somehow, he can’t imagine never not wanting to act like a canvas for Even’s imagination. He’ll gladly provide anything Even needs, for as long as Even will have him.

Nothing has ever felt so right. And he’s sure that nothing ever will. Not quite like this.

Nothing will ever be as right for him as Even is, and he’ll do his best to make sure it stays that way.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y is for yellow.
> 
> This is the last chapter that I had written in advance. I’m working hard on other things right now, but maybe inspiration will strike for the next letter soon (you never know... ;)). (honestly, knowing me, it won't be that long before I post the next one, just don't expect weekly updates from now on... xD)
> 
> The post from this chapter is [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/167584515204/alphabet-aerobics-nofeartina-skam-tv).


	7. M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't quite manage to make it Friday smut, so have some Saturday smut instead. :)
> 
> This chapter is for my girl Maugurt, who's wanted me to do something like this for a while. I hope it was everything you wanted, babe <3 She's also the angel who beta'ed this chapter. :D
> 
> You know the drill, if you want to know what the letter is about you can see it in the end notes. :)
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Isak carries that feeling with him for the next day. How loved he had felt, how beautiful he had looked. He lingers on the thought that that is how Even sees him. He wonders just how much _more_ Even sees in him, than he does himself.

It feels a bit life-changing, really. To have someone love you that much.

It makes him want to return the gesture, makes him want to make it clear to Even in his own way, just how much he loves Even. Not that it’s a contest, definitely not like that. But he’s so grateful for Even every single day, and he wants Even to know that.

He’s high on Even’s love, feels it filling him up everywhere and he just wants Even to feel the same way. This lightness in his chest, this sureness in his heart.

They stand in front of each other the next day as Isak draws the letter and he’s paying more attention to how eager Even looks than to what letter he draws.

He ends up standing there with his hand inside the bag, just kind of absorbed by Even. He just can’t stop looking.

Even must decide that he’s taking too long because he reaches out, takes the bag and Isak is left with a folded piece of paper in his hand.

He opens it slowly, nervously, and looks at it. He can’t help but smile in relief. There’s so much he can do with this letter.

Even is almost bouncing on his feet now, so eager to know what it is.

“Well?” he asks and tries to move closer to Isak so he can see.

“Well, what?” Isak replies as he hides the letter behind his back.

Even lights up in a smile, loves it when Isak wants to play a bit. He lunges at Isak, but he’s so easy to read that Isak has no problems getting away from Even’s arms. He laughs as Even takes a step towards him and he, in turn, takes a step back.

“Are you not going to show me?” Even’s taking another step forward, clearly looking to distract Isak by talking to him, but Isak knows better. He knows Even.

“Maybe.”

Isak raises his eyebrows at Even in clear challenge and Even laughs delightedly and lunges at Isak again. This time it’s with his entire body and Isak only has time to put his hands out before he’s knocked over by Even. He lands hard on the bed with Even on top of him, and before he can get his bearings, Even has already started tickling him.

Isak squeals, tries to squirm out of Even’s grip, but Even is surprisingly strong when he sets his mind to it. So he just continues until Isak can’t stand it, until he can’t _breathe_ from it, and he hands over the piece of paper willingly.

Even stops immediately, sits back and looks at it excitedly. “M?” he asks and smiles at Isak in confusion. “You tried to hide M from me?”

As Isak catches his breath, he notices how Even is straddling him and he puts his hands on Even’s thighs. He can’t help but smile a blinding smile at Even, knows how much it affects him, and just _hmms_ in affirmation. He tilts his chin, silently asking for a kiss, and Even leans down immediately to oblige him.

The rough exhale that leaves Isak after Even has pulled back from the kiss makes Even tilt his head and look at him in that way that makes Isak’s heart beat faster. Like he’s somehow done something to make Even even more fond of him. And Isak just doesn’t understand how that could even be possible, but apparently, it is.

“It got you to kiss me like this, didn’t it?” Isak’s voice is cocky and playful, matching his smile.

Even’s laugh reverberates through Isak’s entire body, fills him up even more with everything _Even_ , even though he couldn’t imagine there was any more room left in him. Even keeps smiling as he leans down again to kiss Isak, and this one quickly turns into one of the good ones, one of those kisses that makes Isak’s toes curl and makes him forget himself.

Fuck, he can’t believe how much he loves Even. He’s going to find a way to show him, to make Even understand, just like he did with Isak.

He’ll find a way.

\--||--

A couple of days later, Isak is sweating while rearranging the bedroom. He’s in a hurry. Even will be home any moment, and he really wants this to be a surprise for him.

He’s just put the last piece into place when he hears keys in the lock and Isak exhales in relief. He quickly runs a hand through his hair, tries to make himself seem less flushed and then he hurries out of the bedroom.

Even opens the door and almost steps into Isak. He’s clearly surprised by Isak standing there and he stops to look at him.

“Hi?” Even asks with raised eyebrows, but the smile follows quickly.

“Hi,“ Isak answers and leans in to kiss him.

He knows he’s acting weird, knows that Even will know that something’s up, but now that he’s home, it doesn’t really matter. There’s no way he can ruin the surprise now. He still tries to block Even’s view to the bedroom with his body.

Even takes his coat off and starts toeing his shoes off as well, and Isak is literally bouncing on his feet in excitement.

“What’s going on?” Even asks and Isak can’t help it. He crowds Even up against the door, kisses him hard and long, covers Even with his body. He’s half hard, has been for most of the afternoon thinking about what they’re about to do, and he wants Even to know this. He grinds against Even, makes him groan in a very interesting way and Isak deepens the kiss.

When he pulls back, just enough that he can see him, Even looks dazed and happy. Isak still can’t believe that he can make Even look like that, but he’s definitely doing something right judging by Even’s half-lidded gaze.

“I have a surprise for you,” Isak whispers into the small space between them.

Even pulls back a bit, is already smiling like he can’t imagine anything better.

“A surprise?” he asks and Isak just nods and bites his lip.

“You have to close your eyes though.”

Even does, immediately, without question, and it makes Isak’s pulse race.

He takes Even’s hand, leads him through the small hallway, past the empty wall that Even would’ve surely noticed. He briefly checks that Even still has his eyes closed, and then he leads them through the door to their bedroom.

He makes Even stop in the exact spot where he wants him, and then he goes to turn on the music. It’s slow and sensual, and he's spent way too much time making a playlist that fits, but he wanted to do this right.

“Don’t look yet,” Isak makes sure to say, as Even starts fidgeting, and then he flips the switch to the strings of soft-toned lights, bathing the room in a gentle, warm light, just perfect for what he wants to do.

He starts undressing, is efficient and quick about it, and when he’s down to his briefs he goes to Even. He presses himself against Even back, puts his arms around him and whispers into his ear.

“Thank you for waiting. You can open your eyes now.”

Even takes a deep breath and then opens his eyes slowly. His eyes find Isak’s in the big mirror he’s standing in front as soon as they’re open enough, and he looks pleasantly surprised.

Isak smiles back, watches how Even looks around, takes in the entire setup he’s standing in the middle of. Besides the big mirror in front of them, there’s one placed to the side of them and one diagonally behind them on the other side. All angles are covered, no matter where they look, they can see themselves.

“M is for mirror,” Isak whispers again, trying to maintain an intimate atmosphere, trying to make Even relax.

Even smiles at him, a big genuine smile and he turns his head, so he can kiss Isak over his shoulder. Isak obliges happily, hums into the kiss and even lets Even deepen it a bit. It gives his hands freedom to roam Even’s chest, and he caresses it gently, without purpose for now. Even puts his hands on Isak’s arms and the pleased _mmm_ sound he makes can be felt _everywhere_ by Isak.

It makes Isak want to go a little bit faster, so he zips Even’s hoodie open and steps back enough that he can slip it off Even’s shoulders. He slowly slides Even’s t-shirt up, exposing his torso and Isak loves how he can see everything he does in the mirror. How every centimeter of skin is revealed to him, and he can’t help the way that makes his breath speed up.

Even lifts his arms and helps Isak get it off, but Isak doesn’t pause with Even’s bare torso, just continues with working the button and the zipper of his jeans, until it’s open enough that he can push them and Even’s briefs down his hips.

He squats and helps Even get them off his legs, one by one, including the socks, and when he gets up, Even is standing in front of him naked. More beautiful than ever. He’s already almost fully hard, is breathing a bit faster in what Isak knows is anticipation and he’s looking at Isak through the mirror in a way that takes Isak’s breath away.

Isak quickly gets rid of his own briefs, and then wraps himself around Even from behind, covering him as much as he can.

“Fuck, you look so good, Even,” he says with his lips on Even’s shoulder, and he can feel how his words light Even up. His cheeks are slowly flushing, and it’s clear that he can’t quite figure out where to look, whether to focus on Isak or focus on himself.

“We’re doing this because I want to show you what I see when we’re together,” Isak says in a low voice, and Even’s eyes find his immediately.

Isak lets his hands roam his torso again, feels the soft skin against his palms, against the rough pads of his fingertips, and he’ll never get enough. He’ll never be done touching Even.

He circles Even’s nipples, pinches them in a way that makes Even’s breath hitch, and he hides his small, smug smile in Even’s shoulder.

Isak keeps touching Even, steps closer so that Even will be able to feel his now hard dick against his ass and it’s the best sight in the world watching how he’s getting more and more turned on. He’s slowly flushing, slowly turning red, starting at his face and creeping down his torso. Isak can’t help but lick the skin at his shoulder, loves tasting the heat, kisses Even’s nape where his hair has started to curl a bit.

He’s purposely ignoring Even’s dick for now, although it’s mouth-watering to look at in the mirror. Isak has a hard time looking away from it, how proudly it stands, pulsing with every rough breath Even takes.

Even is quietly observing him, leaving all initiative to Isak and Isak feels a rush of love towards this man in his arms. The fact that he’s already gotten so much more comfortable giving over control like this makes Isak want to do better, want to _be_ better. It makes him want to swear to Even that he’ll do his best to never break that trust.

He shifts his hips, settles his dick in Even’s crack, and he rolls his hips in slow, lazy grinds against Even, makes sure that the tip of his dick catches on Even’s rim a few times.

Even spreads his legs so beautifully for Isak, Isak doesn’t even have to ask. He just makes room for Isak and Isak flushes with want.

He grinds against Even a bit harder, making them both moan. He notices how Even is clenching and unclenching his hands by his sides, clearly not quite sure what to do with them, so Isak gives him directions.

“Lean forward.”

He pushes at Even’s back as he says it and Even follows his command immediately. He places his hands on the table that Isak put in front of the mirror for this exact thing and puts his weight on them.

Even makes quite the image like this.

His skin is starting to shine with sweat in the soft light, he’s arching his back, making it easier for Isak, his lips are parted, and he just keeps looking at Isak.

Although Isak loves it, loves having Even’s full attention, that’s not what he wants.

He grabs hold of the bottle of lube he’s hidden nearby earlier and pulls back enough that he can pour some on Even’s crack. He starts to rub it in, smear it all over, loves how the small, fleeting touches on Even’s rim makes his eyelids flutter. He’s so responsive, so sensitive. It’s amazing.

“Look at yourself in the mirror. You’re so pretty like this.”

Isak concentrates his movements on Even’s rim, slow circles designed to drive him crazy and Even already looks debauched. Isak really wants him to see himself, but Even keeps looking at Isak through the mirror, like he’s more interesting.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

“Look how flushed you are, how open your mouth is,” Isak continues, still hoping that he can get Even on board. “It makes me want to push you to your knees, use that open mouth.”

Even whines, a high, needy sound deep in his throat, relaxes his head between his arms with closed eyes, and Isak waits patiently. He knows that Even is giving in, is starting to play along.

Even sighs and finally looks up again, his eyes roaming the image he makes in the mirror. Isak’s dick jumps at it, jumps at seeing his boyfriend take himself in, that he can see just how magnificent he looks like this, when he’s giving himself over to Isak.

He gives Even a few seconds to get used to it, and then he pushes the first finger inside.

Even’s breath hitches, but he keeps his eyes on his own lips, even as he flushes further.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect, I swear to God, you were made for me,” Isak can’t help but say, feels it in every cell in his body.

It’s easy to see that his words coupled with the finger working inside of Even is having an effect on him, he’s starting to moan, arches his back further, presenting himself to Isak.

Isak’s dick throbs. He’s suddenly overcome with need, just wants to bury himself in that tight heat, make room for himself there, but he knows he has to wait. He wants to wreck Even, wants to make sure Even sees how delicious he is when he’s surrendering to Isak completely.

He does the second-best thing and adds another finger. It has an immediate effect on Even, makes him breathe harder, flush more, makes small tremors go through his body.

He’s so fucking beautiful, Isak hopes that Even sees that too.

“You’re so responsive, so good to me.”

Isak makes sure to curl his fingers like Even likes, and it coaxes a desperate moan out of Even.

“Are you going to keep talking like that to me?” he asks in a rough voice that makes Isak’s stomach clench in delight. He pushes back against Isak’s finger, stealing his focus for a few long seconds with the sight, and it takes Isak longer than he will admit to to get his head back in the game.

“Yeah, I’m going to make you see what I see,” he whispers, looking deep into Even’s eyes through the mirror. He loves how that makes Even’s pupils dilate a bit more, making them almost completely black now. Even’s biting his lip, his knuckles are white from gripping the table, and Isak doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want him to hold back, he wants him to let go.

Isak adds another finger, feels how the easy slide in makes him curl his toes in anticipation, and he makes sure that the pads of his fingers graze Even’s prostate with every in-stroke.

Even sounds like he’s _dying_ , like he’s really starting to feel good. Isak can’t decide whether to continue looking at Even in the mirror or at his fingers disappearing into his ass, making him ready for Isak’s dick.

He wants both, is suddenly annoyed that he didn’t put up more mirrors so that he would be able to see it all. He looks in the mirror almost behind him, but the angle is off.

Even reaches behind him, grabs Isak’s wrist and says, ”Come on, I’m ready.”

His voice is so rough and low, it’s making Isak’s dick twitch. He has to lick his lips as his mouth is suddenly so dry from how desperate Even sounds, and it’s making him lost for words. He barely has enough wits about him to mutter _yeah_.

He reluctantly pulls his fingers out. He gets the lube and almost misses his dick because he’s finding it so hard looking away from Even. Even looks so _good_ like this. He’s clearly so into it, is already pushing his hips back towards Isak in impatience and it’s making Isak smile.

Even notices it in the mirror, smiles a reluctant half-smile himself, and Isak knows that it’s hard for Even to focus on anything else when he’s like this. So Isak hurries to smear the lube over his dick, and lines up.

“I want you to look at yourself as I fuck you. I want you to see how fucking gorgeous you are taking my dick.”

Even moans loudly at that, his arms shaking like they’re about to give out. And he dutifully diverts his gaze from Isak to himself, even though Isak can see him flush even further.

Isak doesn’t want him to be embarrassed, he just wants him to let go a bit, so instead of breaching him, he leans in over him, strokes his sides gently with his hands and kisses his shoulders softly.

“If you don’t want to look, you don’t have to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he whispers, making sure that he can see Even’s reaction to this in the mirror. If he looks even a little bit relieved, then he’ll call it all off, put some sheets over the mirrors, and take Even to bed instead. Just the two of them.

But Even shakes his head. “No, I want to try this, I’m just….” He sighs like he’s annoyed that he can’t find the words.

Isak understands. He does. So he continues for him. “It’s just a bit much?” he asks.

Even nods relieved at him, and it makes Isak’s heart beat extra fast knowing how well he understands Even now.

“Just let me know, at any point, if it’s too much.” He emphasizes his point with an extra kiss to Even’s shoulder. “I won’t hold back unless you do.”

Even looks at him through the mirror and there’s no mistaking that look. It’s definitely interest. Isak can’t help but smile. Even is just too perfect.

“Now, look at yourself,” he says sternly, and he loves how commanding his voice it, and the shiver that goes through Even from it.

Fuck. He hadn’t actually imagined that Even would be so responsive. He’d hoped but didn’t dare to think it. This is better than anything he could’ve ever dreamed of, any kind of scenario his mind could’ve produced.

Even is looking straight ahead, studying himself in the mirror, and Isak leans back and pushes in. It’s a slow, easy, slide, and he’s clenching his teeth from how good it feels to be inside of Even. It’s always good. All that tight heat just gets to him, the way he just fits inside of Even, how Even lets him make room for himself. That’s always a bit overwhelming.

But hearing how Even whines through it, feeling how he turns slick under his hands with sweat is adding a whole new dimension to it. Isak can’t help but look at Even either, he’s just a sight like this, completely focused on himself in the mirror.

His hair has started to fall now, some of it stuck to his forehead, and his lips are red and puffy from how he’s been biting them. Isak wants to eat him up, wants to keep him there forever, looking like that, speared on his dick.

He starts moving the second he’s bottomed out, can’t hold still. He just wants to get deeper, wants more friction, and he starts going faster right away. He slides one of his hands up Even’s side, all the way to his shoulder and grabs hold of it. He needs some kind of leverage to pull Even towards him with.

He leans back a bit, changes the angle, and he knows he’s hit Even’s prostate the second Even collapses onto his elbows, his strength giving out. The sound that’s ripped from him makes Isak’s rhythm stutter, makes his toes curl.

Jesus, everything is so good. The clench around his dick is almost too much, making mind completely scrambled. He knows there was something he was supposed to do, but he can’t focus on anything but the wet, strong hold on his dick, how snuggly it fits inside of Even.

Even’s head is hanging between his arms. He looks like he’s completely giving in to the pleasure as well, and fuck, he’s such a sight like this.

And that sparks something in Isak, makes him go slower, makes him stop chasing his orgasm so hard. The small reprieve makes his mind clear enough for him to be able to speak again.

“Even,” he says, but his voice is so fucked that he knows that Even won’t hear him. He clears his throat and tries again. “Baby, look up.”

Even clearly hears him this time, whines from it and slowly looks up into the mirror. He’s so close to it and it’s so easy for Isak to see his dazed wide eyes and his spit-slick mouth. Isak is hit with a bolt of want to hard that he slams into Even. Even makes a high-pitched sound, eyelids fluttering like he’s fighting them closing and his mouth opens further. Isak can see his tongue in there, suddenly just wants to put his fingers inside and watch how wonderful Even’s mouth would look sucking them.

“Jesus Christ, your mouth,” he says again, not even thinking. “You look like sin standing there, taking my dick.”

Even pushes himself back against Isak, is clearly getting a little bit desperate himself.

“Do you see how good you look? You see how hard it is for me to hold back every time I’m around you?” Isak continues, his mouth just running now. His eyes are stuck on Even’s mouth, his mind blank for a moment with how desperate he is to feel his lips against his.

He pulls at Even with the hand on his shoulder, makes him stand up until he’s flush against Isak. Isak keeps pushing his hips into him, dirty grinds that are not designed to get Even or him off, but just adding to the pleasure, making them spiral higher.

He puts his hand on Even’s face, makes him turn it so he can reach his lips with his. It’s barely a kiss, they’re just pressing their lips against each other and Isak is swallowing Even’s sounds.

He turns his head and looks at the mirror to their side. The image that meets him there makes Isak’s heart jump. This is better than any porn he’s ever seen, they look so _good_ together. So perfect for each other.

“See how we fit? We’re the perfect match,” he whispers and sees Even look down at where Isak’s dick disappears into his ass.

They’re both drenched in sweat now and it’s getting so hard for Isak to hold back, to keep control. The hand on Even’s hip slides over his hard stomach, muscles trembling under his palm and he finally grabs hold of Even’s dick.

Even clenches his eyes to it, sobs in relief at the promised tension, and just like that Isak feels in control again.

He wraps his hand tight around it, but doesn’t move it, makes Even work for it instead.

Even stays still for a few seconds before he notices that Isak’s not moving before he turns his head and opens his eyes and looks at Isak questioningly. Isak just raises his eyebrows in clear challenge, smirks a bit before he leans in to lick at Even’s neck.

“Fuck yourself on my dick, baby, get yourself off.”

Even moans at that and starts to move slowly.

Watching Even give himself over completely like this, just giving into whatever Isak tells him to, makes Isak frantic for him in a way he’s not sure he’s ever been before. His instincts are screaming at him to push Even down, keep him there with a hand between his shoulder blades and just fuck him hard, make him take it. He keeps himself on a tight leash, though. Wants to keep control and not just give into his impulses so easily.

He lets Even set the pace, lets him decide the angle and the movements, and he’s clearly getting into it. He lets go of his control more and more, sets a harder and harder pace, and Isak just stands there and lets him.

“Fuck, look at you using me to get off, fuck, Even. You’re so perfect. This is so perfect,” he rambles, completely absorbed by the sight of his boyfriend in the mirror, with his big, dazed eyes and big, full lips just working his body, chasing his orgasm.

Isak can feel how his own aching balls start to pull up tight to his body, can feel the tell-tell tingle in his lower stomach and he’s so fucking close. But he doesn’t want to be, he’s fighting it, tries to hold back, wants Even to come first.

“You’re going to make me come, baby,” he manages to stutter through clenched teeth and Even groans and reaches back to grab hold of Isak’s hip. It gives him the leverage to move impossibly faster and harder, and Isak is fighting a losing battle against the hotness that is his boyfriend.

He tightens his grip on Even’s dick, starts working it to Even’s rhythm in his desperation to stave off his own orgasm and Even starts to tremble for real at this. It’s like he’s losing all power in his limbs, stops moving and lets Isak take control again.

And that is _it_ for Isak. He’s done holding back. He starts stroking Even for real as he slams into him, again and again, chasing his orgasm. He’s going deeper with each thrust, wants to bury himself as far inside Even as he can possibly go and stuff him full of his cum. Make him so full of it that he’ll be dripping for days.

Even puts his other hand in Isak’s hair, pulls at it in desperation.

“Make me come. Fuck, Isak, fuck. Just… faster!” he’s muttering, words just falling over his lips like he can’t control them, and it makes Isak’s hand go faster. Like he could ever not do what Even asks of him.

Isak is so close to losing it, is fighting with everything in his body to hold back. He just wants to give into it, wants to fall into the pleasure that’s promised from the wave of desperation he feels.

He feels Even’s walls tightening around him, how his grip on his hair turns almost painful and Even roars out his release, shooting all over the table and the mirror in front of him. Isak keeps moving his hand, keeps fucking into him with hard, sharp jabs, prolonging his orgasm, pushing himself that much closer towards his own.

The second Even stops coming he collapses forward and buries his head in his arms on the table, probably making a mess of himself with all the cum there.

And Isak is done holding back.

He has a tight grip on Even’s hips, tight enough that his fingers are turning white and he’s pushing into him hard, moving him up the table with each thrust.

Even stays there, takes it. Isak isn’t sure how comfortable it can be for him, but he’s not complaining. He has his head turned so that he’s looking at Isak in the mirror, and in the end, that’s what does it. The feeling of Even’s loving eyes on him, half-lidded, clear and happy, makes the pressure in his balls release.

Every muscle in his body clenches as he pushes himself as deep inside Even as he can go. There’s no more room to go further, but he keeps trying, keeps drilling, instinct driving him to put his cum as far inside of Even as he can.

He stops making sense, his mouth open in a soundless scream, eyes shut so tight he’s seeing white and as he starts to shoot, he feels pleasure spread everywhere in him like a small explosion. It fills him up, pulls him from his body, continues and continues, and it’s good. It’s so, so good and he’s completely lost to it.

He lets himself disappear into the pleasure overtaking him for a bit, lets himself lose control with it.

When he comes to, when he’s finally able to get his bearings on the world again, he’s lying on top of Even, making him take most of his weight and he’s having trouble catching his breath.

He can’t talk, can’t do anything but just let Even hold him up, his legs shaky and useless, his eyes open, but not really seeing.

It’s like he’s still offline when Even starts talking. He more feels the rumble of the words in his chest than hears them, and it takes a while for him to realize that Even’s waiting for a response.

He blinks a few times, tries to focus, and the sight he’s met with makes his mouth dry all over again.

He’s looking right into the mirror to the side, sees how he’s covering Even, how he’s still attached to him in the most intimate of ways. He lets his gaze slide up their flushed bodies slowly, will never get over how perfect they look together. It just feels so right. It always does. The way they just _match_.

“Are you back with me?” Even asks with humor in his voice.

His eyes finally find Even’s in the mirror, and his smile is so contagious that Isak doesn’t even try to fight his own.

He loves that about Even, loves how he can just look at him and Isak will know, without any doubt at all, how much he loves him. He hopes he’s succeeded in showing Even just how much he feels for him, how much Even fills up everything in him.

From the way Even looks at him, Isak thinks he did good, that he managed to do what he was trying to. Even looks like a man that feels loved.

And nothing will ever be truer than that.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M is for mirror. (so congratulations to the the ones who guessed it on Tumblr and the Skamfiction server. :) :))
> 
> I haven't started the next chapter yet, and I'm not sure when it'll be out. I'm finishing the Christmas-fic (which just keeps getting longer and longer) and I want it over with before I start something else. I just wanted to warn you guys. :)  
> But don't worry, I'm not giving up, there's still 19 (Jesus Christ!!!!) letters to go!! xD xD


	8. O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with the Christmas fic I was writing, it's with my beta now, which means that I can focus on AA for a bit. :) So here, have some Tuesday smut... ;)
> 
> Maugurt has once again made this worth reading with her excellent betaing skills. <3
> 
> If you can't wait the letter is explained in the end-notes as always.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

The next day starts off good, starts off with them lying in bed for much longer than they should, kissing and touching and whispering to each other, and Isak feels like he could float away from happiness.

It’s just so good between them. He feels so connected to Even, feels like he knows him in a completely new way now. He’s so happy he suggested this game.

But then Isak gets to school, and it seems like all the teachers are realizing that there’s only a few months left before graduation, making them dump homework on them. When Isak goes home that day, he’s so stressed about all the work he has lined up, already has several study sessions with Sana planned and his mind is just a completely different place than it was this morning.

Even seems to sense it on him almost immediately when he gets home. He just kisses him and lets him dump his heavy bag in the middle of the hallway, lets him collapse onto the bed with a groan. He’s so fucked.

Even even cooks Isak dinner, because he’s good like that.

As they’re eating, Isak tells him about all the assignments he’s got coming and Even listens attentively.

“It’s your last year, it’s to be expected,” he says and that’s not helping Isak’s mood one bit. “You just need to find a balance, Isak, need to be able to relax from time to time and stop thinking about it.”

Isak wants to be petulant, almost says _easy for you to say_ , but he stops himself before he does. He doesn’t like to be mean, especially not to Even.

“I’m not good with relaxing,” is what he says instead.

Even looks at him in that way he does, where he just looks so fond, and it always baffles Isak how he can keep looking at him like that, even when he deserves it the least.

Even gets up from the table, gets the bag with the letters and sits down again.

“Sounds like we need this now more than ever, then.” He smiles a devious smile at Isak that Isak is powerless against. He _has_ to smile back.

Even draws a letter quickly and puts it on the table between them so Isak can see.

“O,” Isak reads out loud and looks at Even. Even just smiles and shrugs, not a care in the world, and somehow, it’s a little bit reassuring that Even is so calm.

But as soon as they’re done eating, Isak starts worrying again and almost forgets about the letter and the game.

\--||--

Three days later Isak is going out of his mind.

He’s been working non-stop to get everything done, and he’s not really happy with anything he’s doing, he’s just not sure if it’s good enough. He wants to keep his average, needs to get the good grades.

He knows that he won’t be happy getting a 5, he _needs_ a 6, and if that means he has to cut down on his time with the boys, on his time with Even, then that’s just how it is.

Even’s been good about it so far, has let Isak study in peace, has gently made him come to bed when it’s getting late and Isak is so grateful. He knows he’s not easy to live with right now, and he’s not sure how the next months are going to be like for them if this is how much work there’ll be until he graduates.

Although it’s way too late in the evening for him to continue, although he’s barely seeing straight from how tired he is, he keeps at it. He just needs to finish these last 20 pages, and then he’ll go to bed. He knows Even is waiting for him to be done, knows that it’s only a matter of time before Even comes to get him, but he’s so close to being done.

And almost as if he was called, Even comes in from the kitchen with his laptop under his arm. He leans against the doorframe, looks worriedly at Isak and Isak pretends like he doesn’t notice it.

“I’m almost done, I only have 20 pages left to read,” he mutters and rubs at his tired eyes.

Even goes to the table, pushes some of Isak’s books and notes out of the way so he can place his laptop there. Isak bites his tongue not to complain about it. He has an order to the mess, which he knows Even will never understand.

“Isak…” Even starts and Isak can’t help but sigh at what he knows is coming. “You’re way too tired to continue.”

Isak shakes his head, absentmindedly tries to find the place he was at in the book he’s reading. “No, it’s fine, I’m not too tired,” he tries, knowing that Even isn’t convinced at all.

“You’re already so stressed,” Even says in a low voice. Isak has to close his eyes at the concern Even is showing, reminds himself that Even is doing it out of love.

“I need to get good grades,” he says, doesn’t look away from the book, barely manages to stop himself before he says _I know you don’t understand that_.

Even sighs. “I know you feel like that. But remember that balance we talked about, Isak? Right now, you don’t have any.”

Isak sighs annoyed, can feel a fight brewing, and he doesn’t have time for it. It doesn’t matter how many times they’ve been over this. Even will never understand Isak’s need for good grades. Even has never been worried about it, seems content with getting 3’s and 4’s and Isak supposes that Even has had to learn to settle with less, with the way he’s had to miss school for periods of time.

But it’s different for Isak. This is what he is, this is what he’s best at. He’s the one who’s on top of things, the one who hands in all the assignments on time, the one who knows all the answers.

It’s always been like this. And he needs it to keep being like this, needs some kind of constant in his life, something he can depend on. This is how he is, like, this is one part of him that doesn’t change, no matter how much everything else in his life does.

When they first moved in together, he had lost sight of that, had found it hard to focus on anything but Even and his grades had suffered for it. After a particularly unpleasant round of midterms, where his grades showed his lack of commitment, he had realized that he’d had to do something about it, that he’d had to step up his game if he was to graduate with an average he would be happy about, that would get him into university.

He’s still learning how to be able to do that, how to be able to focus on his grades _and_ Even, and he knows he’s not doing a good job right now.

Even just stands there patiently, waits for him to answer but Isak’s mind is running a mile a minute. He’s not sure what he’s to reply, can hardly even remember what Even said to him.

“I need you to close that book now,“ Even says and his tone of voice makes Isak look up at him in surprise. Even doesn’t normally talk to him like that. Even steps over to the doors to the balcony and starts closing the curtains, shutting out the world.

“I’m nearly done, just 10 more minutes,” Isak tries, expecting Even to make him go to bed. He’s not even sure he could sleep right now, his mind is too tangled, too stressed.

“Isak,” Even starts, goes to the window and starts with the curtains there. “I’m going to make you relax now.”

Isak looks at him, can feel his spine tingle in excitement from how Even is talking to him, from how serious he looks, and Isak hesitates for only a few seconds before he closes the book.

“Okay, where do you want me?” he asks and pretends he doesn’t notice Even’s sigh of relief.

Even raises his eyebrows. “Come here.”

Isak feels the tingle in other places at Even’s tone this time and goes to him immediately, no questions asked.

As soon as he’s within reach, he expects Even to grab him, but he doesn’t. He just stands there, arms by his sides, looking at Isak.

There’s silence between them for a while, Isak waiting for Even’s next command, and Even seems to be waiting for something too, although Isak doesn’t know what it is.

“Kiss me,” Even finally says.

Isak takes a step closer, close enough to be able to, and he puts his lips on Even’s.

Even takes control of the kiss immediately, grabs Isak’s head and tilts it so he can deepen it. Isak whimpers, opens his mouth to it, and Even takes advantage of that to push his tongue into Isak’s mouth. Even turns them around, pushes Isak against the dresser and Isak doesn’t care about the sharp edge digging into his back, he just wants more.

Even pushes a thigh between Isak’s legs, rubs it against Isak’s dick which is getting hard so fast that Isak feels dizzy from it. He puts a hand on Isak’s ass, starts kneading it, making Isak moan. With a steady hand there, he guides Isak to start grinding against his thigh, and Isak does so without thinking too much about it.

He keeps expecting Even to pull back, to get Isak undressed, to do something more. But he just keeps Isak there, trapped between the dresser and his arms, letting him use his body in the most delicious of ways to get off.

It feels good. Isak’s dick is being rubbed just right, and he feels like the teenager he is, the way he’s riding Even’s thigh, getting closer to coming in his pants.

“Even, if you don’t stop, I’m going to come like this,” he moans into Even’s mouth and Even just _hmms_ at it. He doesn’t let up or stop, just continues and when Isak senses it, senses that nothing more is going to happen, he just gives into it.

Now that Isak has accepted that this is Even’s plan, that he’s going to let him come in his pants, he starts grinding against Even’s thigh harder. Just lets himself chase the pleasure, lets himself get closer and closer to the orgasm that’s waiting for him not too far away.

Even licks at his lips, licks into his mouth and Isak can hardly respond to it anymore, just stands there panting with a slack mouth and lets Even control everything besides the delicious friction against his dick.

Isak feels his balls pull up tight, knows that he’s only a couple of grinds away from coming now and he grips onto Even’s hoodie, clenches his fist there as if to keep Even close.

But just as he does, just as he’s about to fall over the edge, Even abruptly pulls back and takes a step away from Isak.

Isak opens his eyes slowly, his body shaking from the impending release, and he can’t help the high-pitched whine that escapes him. Even is just standing there, looking at him with puffy, smiling lips, and Isak just wants to pull him back. But when he tries to, Even just stays where he is.

“What are you doing?” Isak manages to say in a rough voice, annoyed and curious at the same time. Like he can’t believe Even just left him hanging like that.

“I’m sorry,” Even says with a teasing curl to his mouth. “Did I leave you at a bad time?”

Isak clears his throat, not really sure what’s going on.

“Well…. Yes?”

Even tilts his head and smiles at him, and Isak can’t stand that he apparently thinks he’s being cute doing this.

“I just thought you’d like it better if we took our clothes off?” he says, sounding way too innocent for Isak’s liking.

Isak squints at Even, is pretty sure something is going on, but he’s just so lost as to what it could be. So he nods, and they start taking their clothes off.

Isak is taking his jeans off, when Even just casually says, “Leave your briefs on.” Like it’s no big deal, like Isak didn’t just coat them with precum. But he does what Even wants, knows that Even must have some idea with this.

Just then, he remembers the letter. O. Maybe this is it? He’s been so busy that he’s completely forgotten about it. But how can this lead to something starting with O?

Even is naked now, and he goes to sit down on the bed. He pats the bed beside him.

“Come and sit down, Isak.”

He looks so serious and Isak shifts on his feet a few times, his mind running fast trying to think of what he can expect. But he does what Even asks him to. Always does. Can’t imagine anything bad can come of this. As soon as he does, Even leans back on his hands, spreads his legs a bit, putting his beautiful dick on display for Isak.

“Blow me.”

Isak gulps at the order, because it really is an order. Even just sits there, completely still, looking at Isak expectantly, and Isak flushes a bit.

Even’s never talked to him like this and he kind of likes it. He’s still not sure why he’s in his briefs still, but he’ll make do. He scoots away from Even, so he can lean over sideways and get him into his mouth.

He runs his tongue over Even’s dick, makes it wet, enjoys the taste and the softness of his skin in his mouth. He loves blowing Even. It feels like a type of worship he can’t do any other way.

But it’s hard to give a blowjob bend over like this. The angle is awkward, and he’s having a hard time getting it to fit properly in his mouth, but Even sighs as he sucks at the tip. And just like that it hits him what O is. Of course. It must be O for oral. And he’s not doing a very good job of it like this.

So he shifts his body, gets up on the bed on his knees, and it immediately gets easier to get Even’s dick further into his mouth. He knows how much Even enjoys the blowjobs he gives him, and if this letter is about that, he’s going to give it his all.

He sucks it in, takes it down his throat as far as it can comfortably go, and then he hums around it.

“Shit,” Even mutters and Isak loves how easy it is for him to make Even lose it like that. He feels like he’s back in control, finally knows what’s going on, like this is something he can handle.

He slides Even’s dick out almost all the way, tongues at the slit, laps at the precum there and Even moans at it. Isak kind of wishes Even would put his hand in his hair and just keep him there, fuck his mouth like they’ve talked about, but Even seems happy to let Isak set the pace.

But he does put his hand on Isak’s back. Slides it up and down in a gentle way, almost soothing, but keeps going lower with every pass. Until he slides it down all the way, grabs hold of Isak’s ass with a strong grip, so strong that Isak groans in surprise. It’s such a change from the slow, almost lazy pace he’s been setting so far.

Isak flushes, moans at how Even is kneading his ass, strong and firm, and it’s almost enough to make Isak forget what he’s doing.

“Keep blowing me,” Even says in that firm voice that _does_ things to Isak.

And he immediately doubles his efforts. It’s like Even is letting him know that he’s not really in control tonight. Not really. And Isak’s dick throbs with it, feels neglected in the worst of ways and Isak is dying to touch it, to wrap his hand around it. He can’t in the position he’s in and he has a feeling that Even wouldn’t let him even if he could.

Even alternates between Isak’s ass cheeks and they’re tingling from it in no time. It’s almost too much, the way Even is kneading them, just on the right side of painful, but somehow it just adds to the pleasure, makes Isak’s dick throb even more and make his briefs wet with precum.

Isak tries to focus on Even’s dick, needs to remember that this isn’t about him. This is about blowing Even, or else the letter won’t make sense. So he speeds it up a little, sucks harder and is rewarded with a loud moan from Even.

“Fuck, Isak. You’re so good at this,” he groans, and Isak flushes a bit more at the praise, can feel how his skin is slowly turning wet with sweat by now.

Even is running his hand soothingly over his ass cheeks, like he knows that they’re tingling from his rough treatment, and Isak is just getting used to it when Even changes tactic again and without warning runs his fingers along Isak’s crack.

Isak moans at the pressure, can’t help but start to squirm, and he’s really starting to pant. He’s trying to breathe through his nose, but it’s getting harder and harder to get enough air into his lungs like this, with Even’s dick occupying his mouth.

Even concentrates on his hole, just rubs it through the fabric and Isak can’t focus anymore. It just feels so good that he turns slack-mouthed at it. He spreads his legs to make more room for Even’s hand, and the movement makes Even’s dick slide out of his mouth.

“Don’t stop,” Even warns him and he reluctantly returns his focus yet again to Even’s dick.

As soon as he does, Even takes his hand off him and Isak whines and rolls his hips, trying to get the friction back, any kind of friction. He feels bereft, everything in him is primed for touch, he’s so good to go. He just needs a little push and he’s sure he could come from it.

He can hear Even fiddle with something and Isak whines at it, just wants the attention back on him, but it isn’t long before Even’s puts the back of his hand on his back, just over the elastic of his briefs.

Even’s quiet, just keeps the hand there and Isak is _dying_. Even is being the worst kind of tease there is, he needs to get a move on, Isak just needs to come now.

Isak is just about to pull off again to tell him so, when Even quickly slides his hand under the elastic and puts wet fingers against his hole. He starts rubbing immediately, and Isak is lost to the sensation, can’t contain anything because of how fucking good it feels to have Even’s fingers on him like that.

He lets go of Even’s dick again, puts his forehead against Even’s thighs and whines high in his throat from pleasure. He can feel a bead of sweat roll down his forehead, down onto Even, but he couldn’t care less.

Even lets him have this, lets him focus on the pleasure, doesn’t demand that he goes back to sucking him off. He just makes sure that Isak is wet and then he pushes the first finger into Isak.

It’s so good. Just this one finger makes his muscles clench and he arches his back to get the finger further inside of him. Even isn’t being gentle with him, pushes his finger into him a few times before he adds the second and Isak moans at the stretch. There’s definitely a burn, but he’s so fucking turned on that Even could’ve put more fingers in him and he wouldn’t want to stop. He’s finally getting some stimulation, finally being touched, and he just wants more.

Even pushes his fingers into him roughly, keeps Isak on the edge of good pain and Isak is spilling over with sounds. His fists are clenching the duvet under him hard, knuckles white from desperation and he’s just saying, _fuck, yes, fuck, Even, yes_ over and over again. There isn’t room for anything else in his mind but that. He just wants more, wants whatever Even has in mind for him.

Even puts his other hand in Isak’s hair, directs his face towards his dick again, and Isak opens for him gladly. He’s desperate for something in his mouth, for some kind of outlet to the pleasure he’s swimming in, and he sloppily starts sucking Even’s dick, no finesse, no control. Just runs his tongue over it, lets the saliva run over, making his chin and mouth wet and slick.

It’s not the best blowjob he’s ever given, not even by far, but apparently seeing Isak so out of it is working for Even, because he moves his hand out of Isak’s hair and wraps it around his dick instead and starts to stroke it fast. Like he’s real close to coming.

“Fuck, you’ve made my dick so wet,” Even pants and Isak just opens his mouth around the tip, waiting for Even to unload inside his mouth.

Even is still working his fingers inside of Isak, but it’s less precise now that he’s focused on himself. Isak opens his eyes, watches Even stroke his dick right in front of him, and the small beads of precum he pushes out with every stroke looks so delicious that Isak can’t help but close his lips around the tip and lick them off.

That seems to do it, that seems to be just what Even needed, because he moans loudly and then Isak can feel his dick pulsing in his mouth, release rope after rope of cum on his tongue. Isak _mmms_ at it, keeps his mouth there, tries to focus on that instead of the delicious way Even’s fingers are curling inside of him as he’s coming.

Isak just focuses on swallowing and breathing, tries to ignore his dick hanging heavily under him, so hard he feels like he could cut through glass with it. It’s throbbing painfully, and he’s so close to coming himself that he knows that if he could just touch it, he would.

But he dutifully stays there, lets Even finish in his mouth, enjoys how Even sounds as he comes, the words of praise that seem to spill over his lips without him noticing. He stays there, but he’s getting antsy, can’t wait for Even to finish so it’s his turn to come.

He pulls off when he feels Even has finished, when he stops stroking himself and stops talking. He’s sitting there, panting, still has his fingers in Isak’s ass but he’s stopped moving them, and Isak can’t wait anymore. He whines and moves his hips a bit, trying to get them to work his hole, trying to get any kind of sensation as his body is ready to explode from impatience.

Even immediately pulls his fingers out of him, and Isak whines in disappointment. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, but then Even pulls at him, makes him lie down on the bed and Isak smiles with what he knows is about to come. He can’t wait to come in Even’s mouth, can’t wait to taste himself on Even after.

But Even surprises him, just lies down beside him and starts kissing him. Chases his own taste inside of Isak’s mouth, gently licks the spit off his chin and lips. And it’s slow and sensual and relaxed, and Isak can’t take it. He keeps trying to deepen the kiss, keeps trying to make Even understand that he’s not ready for slow, he wants fast and frantic now.

He puts his hand in Even’s hair, grips it tightly to make Even see his frustration, but Even just shushes him and goes back to kissing him gently. Isak’s entire body is vibrating with need. He’s so fucking done with this, so he takes matters into his own hands, so to speak, and puts a hand on his dick through the fabric of his briefs. The relief is immediate, he’s not sure his hand has ever felt better than it does at this moment, and he groans long and hard. But he’s barely had time to do anything but stroke himself once before Even stills his hand and pulls it away.

“No,” he says and looks at Isak in an intense way that makes goosebumps break out all over his body, “I’m the one who’s going to make you come. Not you.”

And he says it so matter of factly, like he isn’t saying things that are making Isak die a little bit inside, that Isak can’t help but talk back.

“Then fucking get to it!” he says, sounding almost angry, and definitely petulant.

Even smiles, pulls back a bit from Isak, still has a hard grip on the hand he just pulled off his dick and says in the most annoyingly indulgent tone of voice.

“O is for orgasm denial.”

Isak pulls his head back as well, can’t really comprehend what Even is saying, isn’t sure that he really heard that right. “What?”

Even leans back in, but puts his lips lower this time, mouths at Isak’s neck, licks at his collarbones and repeats himself. “O is for orgasm denial.”

Fuck. Isak is so fucked. Knowing Even, he’s going to drag this out forever and Isak’s already close to dying.

“Even….” he whines and pushes his head down into the pillow. He’s so torn between letting Even continue and find out what he has in store for him and the need to just come. “I thought O was for oral,” he says, just to say something.

Even smiles that fond smile and Isak would roll his eyes at him if he wasn’t so gone on his desperation.

“You can always say stop, you know that,” Even whispers and leans into mouth at Isak’s throat again and Isak tilts his head out of habit, gives him room to work his skin.

Every slide of his wet lips, of his tongue, sends shivers down Isak’s body, makes his toes curl, and makes him curious as to what Even has in mind for him, how far he wants to take this. It’s not like his hard, aching dick demands any less attention now, not like he’s getting less desperate, but he also realizes that this is the first time in days that he hasn’t been stuck in his head, that he’s not just focused on how much work he has to do, and he likes that.

So he whispers, “I don’t want to stop.”

Even leans up so he can look at Isak, probably wants to see how serious Isak is, and he has that playful smile on his face as he does. Isak would roll his eyes at him, but he can’t. He just wants Even to get a move on with it.

He can’t help but squirm though, can’t help the way his body won’t stay still out of impatience, and when Even notices, he raises his eyebrows teasingly and gets back to mouthing at Isak’s throat. He slides down Isak’s body slowly, kisses and licks and sucks every centimeter of skin he passes on his way and he pauses at Isak’s nipples.

He licks them, bites them, makes them hard and sensitive and Isak has to put his hands in his own hair and pull to stop from flying away. His hips are thrusting into thin air, he just can’t keep still.

Even _mmms_ as he pulls back to admire his work and then he just continues kissing his way down Isak’s body. He dips his tongue into Isak’s belly button and Isak almost wails at it. He wants that tongue elsewhere, wants more.

Even slowly peels Isak’s briefs off and it’s like part of the foreplay the way the fabric feels sliding over his skin, giving Isak goosebumps all over. Isak is sure they’re drenched in precum, and it feels so fucking good to finally get his dick out, to get them off.

Even continues down, but kisses his way past Isak’s dick, like it’s not even there, and Isak can’t help but thrust his hips up, trying to get his dick closer to Even’s mouth, to the pleasure he knows he can give him. But Even is relentless, just moves on to lick at his inner thighs and Isak spreads his legs to him immediately. He’s never been good at being teased. Although he enjoys it, he’s just so desperate for Even to start touching him for real.

But Even just continues like he isn’t noticing Isak’s desperation. Just gently bites at the soft skin of Isak’s inner thighs, making Isak squirm, before he moves on to Isak’s balls.

He starts licking them, gently sucks one into his mouth and tongues at the skin and it’s so good and so close to where Isak wants him that he clenches his eyes and jaw and pulls at his hair a bit harder.

Even is sloppy as he works. Isak feels spit start to slide down his perineum, down his crack, making him wet, making him spread his legs even more. The sounds Even is making, like he’s really enjoying what he’s doing, is just adding to the pleasure, is making it even harder for Isak to catch his breath.

“Fuck, Even, just…” he groans, trying to move him along, trying to do _something_ , before he loses his goddamn mind.

But Even just stays where he is, just keeps licking his balls, working them over with his mouth.

It’s the sweetest kind of torture he’s ever experienced.

He can’t say how long Even continues, has lost his perception of time completely lying there, helpless and lost to it. But eventually, Even takes pity on him, and Isak feels a finger at his hole, just gently rubbing there.

“Fuck yes, Even. Fuck,” he swears, can feel himself start to sweat even more with the promise of what Even’s about to do to him with that finger.

Even keeps just rubbing him there, keeps up this steady pressure against his rim that’s making Isak wail in impatience. He’s rolling his hips, frantically trying to get Even to breach him, to get those fingers inside of him. But Even just makes sure that they stay there, teasing and rubbing and driving Isak fucking insane.

Isak is starting to shake from it, knows that his body is turning red and that he must be quite the sight for Even. He needs to see him, he needs to see if Even’s as affected by this as he is, so he slowly blinks his eyes open and lifts his head so that he can see Even.

Even looks lost as well, has his eyes closed and his mouth wide open and his hair is stuck to his forehead and he looks more beautiful than Isak has ever seen him.

Isak must make some kind of sound, because Even looks up at him and his eyes crinkle like he would be smiling if he didn’t have his mouth full.

Fuck. Isak is so goddamn lucky. He can’t believe that this man is his, that this is his life.

He’s looking at Even, almost lost in the blackness of his eyes, so he doesn’t notice when Even moves his arm. In one swift move, he pushes two fingers inside of him. Isak falls back on the bed, writhes in pleasure with his mouth open and panting and it’s almost too much. After being teased for so long, the directness of the way Even drives his fingers into Isak spirals him towards his orgasm and he puts his arm over his eyes to shield himself from it.

He’s so close, so goddamn close that he can almost taste it. It’s just within reach and his dick pulses from it, his balls aches with the impending release and just when he thinks that this is it, when he’s just on the verge of coming, Even pulls his fingers out, takes his mouth away, and squeezes the base of Isak’s dick hard. Hard enough to stave off his orgasm, hard enough to make Isak sob with how fucking close he was this time.

Isak feels his eyes sting with tears under his arm and he stays there, hidden, breathing through the disappointment and the shivers running through his body. His skin is tingling and every nerve in his body feels like it’s come alive, like it’s firing just under his skin, trying to drive him mad from it.

It’s a lot to take in, the way his entire body seems to vibrate from it.

Even takes his hand off Isak’s dick and no, Isak doesn’t want that. He wants to fucking come, wants Even to put his hand back and stroke him to completion. It wouldn’t take much now.

He whines at the loss, and Even shushes him, puts his hand on his thigh instead and strokes it gently.

“Almost there,” Even says in a low, rough voice, and there’s just no way Isak can answer him. His voice isn’t working and there’s no words in him.

So he lies there, eyes wet and covered, and just breathes, waits until Even deems him ready for another go.

Once again, he’s not sure how much time passes, he’s just lost all his sense of time doing this. But Even just keeps with his soothing gentle strokes of his thigh, like he knows that Isak would be so easily overwhelmed with more touches than that.

“Can I kiss you?” Even asks.

It makes Isak take away his arm to look at Even again. He nods and Even wastes no time lying down beside him and the way he looks at him, full of love and awe makes Isak feel more at home in his body again. Makes him feel less lost.

Even’s first kiss is barely a peck, and he pulls back as if to see how Isak deals with it. Isak pouts his lips, tilts his chin, silently asks for another, which Even happily obliges.

They stay like that, just kissing and gently touching each other, until Isak has calmed down a bit, until his body has stopped shaking quite so much and he feels like he won’t die from being touched anymore.

Isak’s dick is so hard, it’s throbbing against his stomach and it’s almost painful now. His balls are pulsing with need and Isak can’t keep still under Even anymore. Even must sense his desperation, because he rolls on top of Isak, keeps kissing him, covers him with his body.

But Isak’s not playing anymore, he doesn’t care if it makes him seem bossy or impatient or ruins Even’s game. He’s just almost too far gone to care about _anything_ but coming by now, so he spreads his legs for Even and crosses his ankles behind him, puts his arms around him tight. Traps Even with his body.

“You’re impatient now,” Even laughs against his lips and Isak just _hmms_ in answer as he pushes his tongue into Even’s mouth and starts rolling his hips. The friction he gets from that feels _amazing_ , makes him roll his eyes back and moan.

Even moans back, rolls and shifts his hips so he fits better between Isak’s legs and then he leans back, out of Isak’s grip.

Isak whines at it immediately, grabs onto Even’s arms to keep him there, to keep up the delicious friction and Even huffs out a laugh at it.

“I’m not going anywhere. But I need the lube if I’m going to fuck you.”

Isak licks his lips and nods, has never wanted anything more in his life. He unlocks his ankles, releases his hard grip on Even’s arms and Even sits back on his haunches. He’s staring at Isak, lets his eyes roam Isak’s body as his hand is searching for the lube on the bed, and Isak puts his arms over his head and stretches a bit, arches his back. Puts his body on display for Even, trying to make him a little bit desperate as well.

Even finally gets hold of the lube and the sound of the lid opening makes every hair on Isak’s body stand up in anticipation. It’s like his senses are working in overdrive. He can’t look away from Even lubing up his dick, can hear the slick sounds it’s making, and it makes his own dick twitch with need.

“Hurry up,” he hisses out through his teeth, doesn’t even care how fucking desperate he sounds. He just wants Even inside of him.

Even chuckles, but at least it makes him hurry up a bit more.

When he lies down on top of him, Isak immediately wraps him up again, puts his arms and legs around him, locks his ankles behind him. He’s giving him no choice but to stay there until he gets inside of him. Isak is done playing, done waiting. He just wants to get fucked now.

“You don’t want more fingers?” Even asks, always worrying about Isak’s comfort.

Isak just shakes his head. “No, just fucking get inside me,” he mutters, can feel Even’s dick slide against his perineum, making him wet, and he’s so close to losing it, can’t handle the wait anymore.

Even leans down to kiss him, shifts his weight so he can get a hand on his dick to line it up and then there’s that promising, blunt pressure on his hole. Isak loves it so much, the push, the way his hole opens up accepting Even inside. How Even makes space for himself there, fills him up.

It’s not as easy as it normally is. Isak has had a lot less prep than usual, but he’s so fucking desperate for it, he doesn’t care. Even pushes in enough that his head breaches Isak’s rim and Isak can’t fucking breathe.

It’s so good. It’s too good.

Every goddamn centimeter of Even’s dick feels like it’s rearranging something inside of him. It burns, but it’s a good burn. It all just adds to the pleasure in a way that Isak never imagined a little bit of pain could.

Even is frowning, is looking at Isak in that intense way where he’s gauging his reaction, checking if it’s too much, and Isak just wants him to fuck him.

He closes his eyes to the way Even is looking at him, tightens his muscles in his thighs, puts pressure on Even’s ass and pushes him in the last centimeters, makes him bottom out and Isak wails with it.

Everything in him is throbbing, his skin, his dick, his ass, and it’s like his brain can’t quite work out this mix of slight pain and pleasure. It’s just on the right side of too much, and Isak is already losing it. He puts his nails in Even’s back and makes him hiss in pain too. There’s just too much sensation in his body, he needs Even to move to do something about it.

Even experimentally grinds against Isak, just moves his dick inside of Isak a little bit and just that little movement makes Isak scratch his nails down Even’s shoulders and he feels like he’s _dying_.

The pain makes Even thrust in surprise and Isak moans too loud at it. He opens his eyes, needs to see Even, needs him to understand that it’s good, that it’s alright and what he sees when he does makes him groan.

Even looks fucking _wrecked_ , like he’s losing his mind as well, and Isak just can’t stand it anymore.

His brain is melting and his body is on overload and as he opens his mouth the only words that spill out of him are _fuck me, fuck me, fuck me_.

Even mutters, “Fuck!” in response and to Isak’s relief, proceeds to do just that.

He pulls out almost all the way, but before Isak can complain, just when he starts to think that this is another way to tease him, he slams right in. And then he does it again, and then again.

Isak just hangs on for dear life. He’s never felt this useless in his life, just lets Even decide the pace and the roughness, just gives himself over to Even completely.

He knows he’ll get him there, trusts him to make this even better.

And he fucking does. Isak’s body is on fire, every nerve burning with pleasure, every centimeter of Even’s dick feels so good inside of him, feels perfect. The pull on his rim with every thrust just takes him higher and higher. He can feel his mouth working, knows he’s making sounds but all he can hear is the roar of blood in his ears.

He feels more alive than he’s ever felt before.

It all radiates down to his dick and his ass. All this sensation, all this pleasure, is like a sea he could get lost in and he scratches at Even’s back to stay in the moment, to make sure he doesn’t lose himself here.

Even is being louder than normal as well, his hands grabbing onto Isak’s shoulder from underneath making it hard for Isak to move even if he wanted to. They’re holding on so tight to each other that it’s getting hard for Isak to separate them. It almost feels like they’re becoming one from how they’re moving against each other.

Even slams into him over and over again and the burn is completely replaced by delicious friction. Isak knows his dick is weeping, his stomach is probably completely covered in precum and with every thrust, his dick just gently bumps against Even’s stomach, making Isak wail with the stimulation.

His dick has been hard for so long now, his balls pulled up tight to his body and ready to go for what feels like a small eternity and Isak can feel tears run down his cheeks from it. He’s never felt closer to the edge before, feels like he’s been standing on the precipice forever, just waiting for Even to let him know that it’s okay to let go.

But Even does no such thing, just keeps driving into him, drills his dick so deep inside of Isak that it feels like he’ll never be the same from it.  

His mind shifts focus, away from the glorious friction in his ass, how extraordinarily good it feels to clench around Even’s dick as it moves inside of him, to his aching dick. It’s almost so painful now that it’s impossible to ignore. He wants to touch it so bad, but he doesn’t think he could let go of Even long enough that he could. He’s not sure his arms would have enough strength left in them.

But he realizes that the words spilling out of him are changing from a cacophony of _faster, harder, more_ , to _let me come, make me come, I need to come_ , in various forms, and Even is moaning out “Yes, fuck, yes Isak,” in response.

Isak blinks tears out of his eyes to focus on Even, and Even’s eyes are clenched shut, like he’s lost in this pleasure too. Isak leans up to catch his lips, just puts his mouth against Even’s, needs to feel him everywhere. He doesn’t want any space between them.

Even breathes into his mouth, pushes his lips against Isak’s and Isak licks at the wetness inside of it. The taste of him of explodes in Isak’s mouth, makes him lose his breath and his dick pulse even more.

He’s never been this desperate to come in his life.

Even is shivering on top of him, clearly getting close himself and Isak just wants him to fucking come now. He needs to feel him inside of him, needs to know that his cum is filling him up from the inside.

With a hard thrust that pushes Isak up the bed a bit, Even pushes himself as deep inside of Isak he can possibly go and then he starts coming. He stops moving on top of Isak as he unloads himself deep inside and the sounds he’s making, the way his arms tighten around Isak, just fills him up in another completely different way.

But Isak can’t stay still, his body is still lost to it, is still chasing his own orgasm. He’s completely selfish in how close he’s getting, he doesn’t care to prolong Even’s orgasm or to make it better for him, he just starts rolling his hips in a way that makes his dick rub against Even’s stomach, creating the most glorious friction he’s ever experienced. It makes his eyes roll back in his head and his mouth stay open.

“Even,” he whines, almost doesn’t recognize his own voice, “Even, fuck, I need to come, just…”

Even is barely done coming before he shifts his body, pulling out of Isak abruptly, making him wail in displeasure and disappointment.

He doesn’t think he can stand waiting any longer, doesn’t think he can go another round. He feels his tears run down into his ears and he shakes his head from side to side in desperation.

But Even seems to understand, seems to know just how close Isak is to losing it, because as soon as he’s free of Isak’s grip, he moves down his body and takes his dick in his mouth.

Isak puts his hands in his own hair, holds on for dear life, because he’s sure that Even is trying to kill him with this. His feet are sliding against the duvet under him, rucking it up, making a bigger mess of their bed, but he just can’t be still anymore. There’s just no more room in his body for everything he’s feeling, he needs to get it out in some way.

Even takes him as far down his throat as he can, hollows his cheeks and sucks and that’s all it takes for Isak. That’s all he needs to finally fall.

And it feels like a fall, like everything in him is just floating through space. His dick and balls feel so tight that the first rope of cum released from him just makes pleasure explode in every cell, makes it radiate through his body in a way that makes him feel high.

He comes and comes, fills Even’s mouth up to the brink with it. All that heat and wetness there just adds to it, makes him want to not stop, to just stay in this moment forever where nothing else exists but him lost in how good his body feels, how electric and alive he feels.

Everything is good. Everything feels right.

It’s a slow process coming down from that. Every muscle in his body is tight, is clenched to the point where he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to relax them again. His lungs feel like there’ll never be enough air in them again and his eyes are still spilling over with tears. His body is vibrating with the release, with chemicals and hormones, making him feel more settled and at ease than he’s been in a long time.

He feels his pulse just under his skin, feels how alive he is, how fucking lucky he is, and as that thought runs through him, he reaches for Even. All he finds is his hair. He’s still swallowing around Isak’s dick, still forcing small contractions out of his balls, and it’s slowly turning too much as Isak is done coming. There’s no more to give in him, nothing left in his balls, Even sucked them dry.

He starts pulling at Even’s hair, tries to make him realize that he needs him, needs his lips on his and his eyes on him. Luckily, Even comes easily, like he always does. Isak’s never been more grateful for that in his life.

How easy they are for each other.

“Kiss me,“ he says as soon as Even’s lips are within reach and he does.

Even tastes like him, tastes like them and Isak moans at it. It’s not sexual at this point, his dick is dead on his thigh, but it’s just the idea of how good they are together that makes him moan. How fucking perfect Even is for him.

“Fuck,” Isak says instead of telling Even that, but Even just smiles at him. Seems to feel the same as Isak smiles back at him.

“Yeah, I agree,” Even says against Isak’s lips, making him smile even more. “Fuck.”

It might be the orgasm, or it might just be Even, or probably a combination of the two, but Isak feels so present in this moment. He recognizes just how good it is for him to be able to escape his brain and feel his body from time to time, feel how Even makes him come alive.

He can’t help but stroke Even’s skin, loves how the orgasm seems to add to the sensation of the smoothness there against the pads of his fingers, is lost in how good Even feels against him. All this fill him up, makes him live and breathe _them_.

He never wants to let go, never wants to go back. He just wants to keep lying here, feeling used in the best of ways, cum slowly dripping out of him, adding to the mess of their bed, with his boyfriend looking at him like that.

“Thank you,” he whispers into the small space between them, looking into Even’s eyes.

Even strokes his hair away from his forehead, kisses his cheek, his eyebrow, the corner of his mouth and then settles on Isak’s chest.

“Anytime,” he whispers back into Isak’s skin and Isak puts his arms around him. Keeps him there, keeps him safe, makes sure he feels his heart beating.

It’s enough to almost make him cry again, like his emotions are still running amok. He just loves this man in his arms so much it’s hard to find words for it sometimes.

So he stops. Tries to tell Even in other ways than words, hopes that he can feel it in the way he tightens his arms around him, in the way he shifts so their bodies are pressed against each other.

The contented sound Even makes tells Isak that he does. Even understands him better than anybody else ever will.

They stay there like that, completely absorbed in each other and their love, completely uncaring about the mess they’re lying in, how filthy they are. It’s just so good to lie here like this, to commit to memory exactly how Even’s skin feels against his as they’re both cooling down.

He feels Even’s breath slow down, feels how he melts into his arms and he knows that Even is falling asleep.

The level of trust Even puts in him will never cease to amaze him. How comfortable he is with Isak.

Isak rubs his thumb over Even’s skin, not enough to wake him, just enough to let him know that he’s there. He knows that they should do something about the mess, that he’ll definitely regret it later if they don’t. But he just doesn’t want to worry about that now.

Right here, right this second, there’s just no room for cares. Right now is just for this, for them. No room for anything but their love. And that’s exactly how it should be, how Isak hopes it always will be.

That they’ll never need more than this; them and their love.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O is for orgasm denial (I know some of you guessed it. :))
> 
> The next chapter is almost done, so you probably won't have to wait this long for it. :)


	9. F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I guess you didn’t have to wait that long at all! :)
> 
> Again, the loveliest Maugurt has worked her magic with this, thank you, babe!! <3
> 
> If you want to know what the chapter is about, you can look in the endnotes. :)
> 
> Without further ado, here, have some Sunday smut! ;)

 

The next morning, Isak feels way calmer and on top of things. He knows he still has a lot of school work to finish, but as Even kisses him in the door as he leaves, he knows he’ll have to find a way to make it work. Have to find a way so he doesn’t just focus on school and grades, but makes room for Even and other things in his life.

Which is why he ends up inviting the boys for a pre-party at their place, without even asking Even.

It’s Friday, and they’re discussing where to go, who should host, and they’re kind of giving Isak shit for never inviting them. So he shrugs and does. Like it’s no big deal, like he wouldn’t have died from stress over it just yesterday.

After a brief silence, where the boys look at him in surprise, they all smile and agree to come in a very loud manner.

It just adds to the good feeling inside of Isak, like he’s truly on the right path. Like he’s finally handling things right, as he should.

They all finish school around the same time and end up following Isak home. They pick up some beers on the way, and it’s just so easy being with the boys like this. No expectations, just relief that Isak has somehow gotten his head out of his ass so he can spend time with them.

Sometimes, he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve friends like this.

They spill into the apartment, all noise and laughter and Isak pretends not to be too disappointed when he discovers that Even isn’t home yet. He’s probably still at work, but Isak always misses him when he’s not there.

Jonas claps him on the shoulder and says, “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you don't miss him too much.”

And Mahdi and Magnus join in on the fun, starts teasing him as well for his obvious lack of cool regarding his boyfriend.

He obviously complains about it, but doesn’t really mind. Not really. There’s some comfort in how the boys are treating him like they always have.

They move the chairs and the table closer to the bed and settle in, each with a beer in hand. Isak puts the rest of the beers in the fridge, as lukewarm beer just isn’t the same, and then he goes to join them.

It's so easy being with the boys like this. He loses track of time, has stopped worrying when Even will be home. It’s been a while since he’s laughed this much.

Jonas is texting somebody, trying to find out where there’s a party going on, when Even comes home. As soon as he steps inside the apartment, he’s greeted enthusiastically by the boys and when he's done taking his coat and shoes off, he's greeted in a more intimate way by Isak who tilts his chin, lets him know that he needs a kiss, and Even gives it to him happily.

“Hey,” he whispers to Isak when he pulls back and Isak knows that the way they’re smiling at each other will undoubtedly make the boys complain, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even care to hide the small blush on his cheeks as he remembers what they did the night before.

He still feels it. There’s a tenderness when he sits down that’s not normally there, but the sex was kind of rough and they went at it for a long time. It’s not really that strange that he’s a bit sore.

Secretly, he kind of likes it.

He likes being able to feel the evidence of what they did, and he knows that Even notices as he shifts in his chair for the third time in 5 minutes, knows that he _knows_.

It all just adds to it, adds to how his body still buzzes when he lets himself think about what they did, about how good it had been.

Even sits next to him and takes his hand immediately, and everything is right with the world again.

Magnus empties his can with a flourish and gets up to get another one.

“You want one as well?” he asks and looks at Even. Even tears his eyes away from Isak to nod at Magnus and they don’t really think about what is hanging on the fridge.  

Until there's an excited yell from the kitchen.

“What the hell is this?” Magnus shrieks loud enough for the entire building to hear and Isak looks at Even with large, wide eyes. He knows exactly what Magnus is yelling about.

He comes out from the kitchen, holding the piece of paper and he starts reading their list of rules out loud immediately. After he’s done, he looks at Isak with big eyes and Isak groans with what he knows will happen now.

“Is this what I think it is?“ Magnus asks and looks like he's about to keel over in excitement.

Isak stands up to take it from him but Magnus dodges him easily. And the rest of the boys follows the interaction interestedly.

“Just give it to me,” Isak tries, like that would ever make Magnus stop.

“Is this some kinky gay sex thing?” And that certainly gets the rest of the boys’ full attention.

Isak hides his head in his hands and groans hard and long. Why the fuck did they ever think it would be a good idea to hang that list on the fridge?

“It’s not a kinky gay sex thing!” Isak exclaims and takes his hands away so Magnus can see him roll his eyes.

“So it _is_ a kinky gay sex thing!!” Magnus decides gleefully, and Isak is kind of dying.

He’s fighting his blush as he argues with him, “Stop saying kinky gay sex thing!” but he knows that the conversation is completely derailed when Even starts talking.

“It’s a sex game thing with letters,” he says and takes a sip of his beer.

He looks like it’s a normal thing to say, a normal thing to talk about. Isak really, really wants to hide his face in his hands again, but he refuses to let the boys see how affected he is by this. He shouldn’t be, it’s not like sex is embarrassing. But in some ways, he’s spent so long pretending in front of these guys that it’s still hard for him to talk to them about certain things.

“What kind of sex game?” Magnus asks quickly, and now all the boys’ attention has turned to Even.

Isak wants to kick him under the table, to give him a sign to shut the fuck up, but he knows he’s being a bit childish about this. It’s not like he doesn’t hear from the guys whenever they hook up, no matter how indifferent he may be.

Even doesn’t seem as reluctant as Isak though. He always did have more patience for Magnus.

“We take turns drawing a letter, and thinking of something for the letter which we then act out,” he says.

Actually, Isak would do anything to have a camera to capture this moment. The guys are looking at Even with wide eyes and slack mouths, like they can’t believe what he just said, what they just heard.

“What, like…” Magnus starts and glances at Isak, but his mouth has started to curl into a teasing smile and Isak dreads what will come out of his mouth next. “P for public blowjob?”

The boys start to laugh very loudly, falling over each other, high-fiving Magnus and Even laughs along.

Isak actually does hide his face in his hands at this, he remembers vividly how fucked-out they had both looked leaving that bathroom, knows that Even’s pants were stained and ruined. Even puts a comforting hand on his thigh.

“No, that was actually Z for zipper,” Even says and Isak groans loudly. He’s in pain here, why is his boyfriend so fucking oblivious?

“Wow, that’s really clever, actually,” Mahdi says and sounds so sincere that Isak peeks through his fingers. When he sees that the rest of the boys seem to agree he finally takes them away, and as soon as he does Even pulls him in and kisses his temple.

“Yeah, my boy is a genius,” he says, and Isak can’t not smile when Even is being sappy like that.

“What about…” Magnus says and looks like he’s having a great idea. “F for fisting?”

Even breaks down laughing immediately and Isak wants to go back to hiding in his hands. Instead, he manages a “What the fuck?” and Magnus looks around confused at the other boys as they’re laughing at him as well.

“What? It’s a thing gays do,” he says a little bit petulant and takes a sip of his beer.

Jesus Christ, sometimes Isak wants to smack Magnus really, really hard, but luckily Jonas has his back.

“How would you know that?” he asks, sounding every bit as annoyed as Isak feels.

“What? Gays like things in the butt. Right, Isak?” he says and turns to Isak like he’s actually going to agree with him.

Isak is opening his mouth, is about to say _something_ to fend off how _stupid_ Magnus is being, but Even starts talking before he can.

“There’s a big difference between liking things in your butt and fisting, Magnus,” and he sounds a little bit annoyed, but still patient. Isak will never understand how he manages that.

Jonas adds to it by lifting his hand and then clenching it real tight, as if to give them all an idea of how big a fist really is.

Seeing that makes Isak’s insides hurt in sympathy.  It’s fucking huge, there’s no way that would ever happen. Even Magnus is making big eyes at it, and then Jonas says in a really cool voice, “Imagine someone shoving that up your ass, Magnus.”

Magnus gulps audibly, and Isak can’t help but smirk at it. Suits him right.  

Isak takes a sip of his beer smugly and relaxes back in the chair. Fucking fisting. Absolutely no way in hell.

Once again, Isak is thankful to have Jonas in his life, as it seems that the discussion has been derailed from the list with that beautiful display of a fist. Instead, it’s moved on to who has the biggest fist, and Isak joins it happily.

\--||--

An hour later, Isak and Even ends up staying home when the pre-party breaks up to move on to the real party. Isak has to do some serious studying in the morning to keep on top, and he doesn’t want to be hung-over when he does it.

After the boys have left, after they’ve cleaned everything up and are getting ready for bed, Even finds the letters and Isak draws one. He’s not really nervous about doing that anymore. It’s like it’s become part of a routine by now, and knowing how well the other letters went keeps him calm.

He starts laughing as soon as he sees what the letter is.

Even laughs along, confused, like he can’t help himself, like Isak laughing is just too contagious not to, but when Isak shows him the letter, he doubles over as well.

Isak has to say it, can’t leave it hanging after what they’ve talked about tonight.

“So I guess F for fisting is out of the question?” Which just makes them both laugh even harder.

Even puts his fist up, the one that was declared winner as the largest of the groups’, and looks at it with laughter in his eyes, “Yeah, better not.”

When they’re finally in bed, lying intertwined in each other’s arms, Isak feels so warm and happy. Like for once, he’s been the best Isak he could be, an Isak who is something for everyone.

\--||--

“Get naked,” Isak says, trying to look serious and like he’s on top of things, but reality is, he’s pretty nervous.

He has this idea in his head of what’s about to happen, but he’s not sure if it’s something that Even will like or really be into. He’s been back and forth so many times now with himself, and in the end, he decided to try. It’s something he really wants to try, and he figures that Even can just back out if he’s not interested.

He’s prepared for it, has cleaned himself thoroughly and has been half-hard just from the idea of what’s about to happen. But he’s been so caught up in the semantics of whether Even would like it that he hasn’t really thought about how exactly it’s supposed to happen.

Even looks at him in an interested way, a small smile on his face, and he starts taking his clothes off slowly.

Isak is staring. Can’t help it. Even is irresistible even when he isn’t trying, so when he puts effort into it, like he does right now, Isak has a hard time controlling himself.

When he’s naked, Isak lets himself look for a few seconds longer than what’s strictly necessary and then he clears his throat, knows that his voice will already be affected by how good Even looks.

“Lie down on the bed on your back,” he says and Even raises his eyebrows at him, but does what he says.

He crawls up the bed slowly, puts himself on display for Isak, being a total shit, because he knows what that does to Isak. And then he lies down.

Even is a fucking revelation, lying on their bed. He’s already getting hard and he’s looking at Isak with attentive eyes, just so open and trusting and Isak _wants_ with every fiber of his being.

He takes his own clothes off, fast and efficiently, and then he's lowering himself onto the bed so that he's kneeling at the end of it.

He gently puts his hands on Even’s feet and just slowly slides them along his skin as he’s crawling up Even’s body. He lets himself enjoy the feel of Even’s soft skin, how the hair on his legs makes his palms tingle and he enjoys how Even is looking at him. He has his eyes set on Isak, doesn’t look away for a second. Is probably wondering where this will take them.

But Isak isn’t looking at Even’s eyes. He’s looking at his own hands, at the part of Even’s body he’s touching and revels in how beautiful Even is in the detail.

He slowly slides his hands up his calves as he’s crawling on the inside on Even’s knees, pushing his legs apart as he does, forcing him to spread them. He can hear Even breathe harder, can hear that he’s getting affected by what Isak’s doing. His mind’s probably running with what Isak could have in mind for him.

Isak doesn’t tell him yet.

He just slides his hands slowly over his knees, feels how hard the caps are, how tight the skin is stretched there and then he starts sliding them over his thighs.

Even sighs as Isak does this, is deliciously sensitive there, and Isak _loves_ that.  

He keeps forcing Even to spread his legs more as he walks up the length of them, and it makes Even breathe harder and harder. It’s getting difficult for Isak not to smile smugly. He absolutely enjoys how easy it is for him to affect Even, even just by sliding his hands over his skin.

There’s really nothing sexual about it yet, apart from their nakedness. He’s only stroking Even gently, but that’s apparently enough.

Once he gets to Even’s upper thighs, he can feel how Even holds his breath in anticipation, probably wondering whether Isak will put his hands on his dick, but Isak doesn’t. He just shuffles so he can place his thighs on the outside of Even’s thighs, forcing his legs together. Isak continues the crawl, now with Even’s body between his thighs. He keeps his hands on him, keeps them open so he just runs them over his skin.

He loves touching Even. It’s one of his favorite things, how his skin feels against his, how right it feels to have that contact with him.

It’s intimate in a way Isak has never been with anybody else. He’s never spent time just touching someone before Even. He’s only touched to get something, to get noticed, to get comfort or company.

Never like this. If Even would let him, he could spend hours just running the pads of his fingers against Even’s skin, just touch for the sake of touch, without any real purpose.

He slides his hands over Even’s chest, up his clavicles, his long throat, which Even elongates further for him by tilting his head back. He’s gentle with Even’s face. Mainly uses the tips of his fingers, runs them over the beautiful features there. When he reaches his hair, he lets his hands settle there, shifts so his knees settle on each side of Even’s head and then he sits back on Even’s chest.

“Remember, you can pinch me if you don’t want this,” he says, and his voice already sounds so low and rough that he barely recognizes it himself.

Even nods eagerly, and Isak takes a final deep breath to settle his nerves before he crawls the last stretch up the bed.

His ass is hovering over Even’s face and Even makes a surprised, happy sound that calms Isak’s nerves and he slowly lowers his ass to Even’s face.

Even latches on immediately, seems to understand what Isak wants to do, because he makes a pleased sound in his throat and opens his mouth to Isak.

Fuck. Isak can’t help but look down and sees Even’s open mouth, how he sticks out his tongue, waiting for Isak. Isak stops breathing as he tilts his hips, spreads his knees even more, so he can lower himself the last centimeters onto Even’s tongue.

The first swipe of it against his hole makes Isak choke on air.

He puts his hands up on the wall, needs something to steady him against how fucking good it feels to have Even’s tongue on him like this. He moves his hips slowly, experimentally. Just trying to see what feels good, and it seems everything does.

Even’s tongue is flat and broad and it feels so good against him no matter where it licks him, his perineum, his rim, his balls. There are so many nerves down there that seems to be firing all at once with Even’s tongue in the picture, and Isak flushes from head to toe immediately.

He starts moving his hips on instinct, a slow grind back and forth and Even just lets him, keeps his tongue out and it’s so much sensation all at once.

Isak fucking loves being rimmed.

He lets his knees slide further apart on the bed, pressing himself further down against Even’s face, and Even just _hmms_ at it and puts his hands on Isak’s thighs.

He doesn’t direct him, or try to decide how Isak should move, just keeps them there.

Isak is turning slack mouthed and he’s clenching his hands against the wall as he starts rolling his hips a bit more, letting Even’s tongue work him over again and again until he’s panting. Until he stops where he wants Even the most and Even just buries his tongue in him, pushes it inside and Isak wails at how good it feels.

He wants more, chases the feeling, slides his thighs even further apart so he’s sitting completely on Even’s face and he makes Even eat him out.

He manages to pant out, “F is for facesitting,” but there’s a slight hitch in the middle as Even does this thing with his tongue, curls it against Isak’s rim and Isak feels his skin start to sweat from it.

He clenches his eyes shut, clenches his teeth against the onslaught of sensations Even is creating with his tongue and his jaw and his lips and it’s like he’s everywhere at once.

Isak can’t help pressing down, he’s not even sure how Even can breathe now, but judging by the sounds Even is making there is no denying that he’s enjoying this as well. Isak is suddenly sorry that he’s turning away from Even’s body, would love to see his beautiful dick twitch as he’s doing this to Isak.

But Isak knows he’ll get acquainted with it later.

His thighs start to shake from the strains of working his hips against Even, but it’s easy to ignore the burn and the strain with the way Even’s working his tongue on Isak’s hole, the way he uses his lips in a dirty kiss against his sensitive rim, and it’s making Isak shake more places than just his thighs.

It feels so fucking good that Isak moves his hips more and more, works himself against Even’s face harder and harder, losing himself to the pleasure there.

His dick is throbbing, bouncing with every roll of his hips and he wants to put a hand on it so badly, knows that he’s probably dripping precum by now, but he doesn’t. He can’t come yet, somehow remembers that it’s a bad idea.

Even is humming under him, his moans and groans lost in Isak’s ass and those muffled sounds are making Isak feel even more desperate for it. He wants to reach behind himself and help Even out, put a few fingers inside, work himself open for Even.

But he stays, keeps his hands on the wall, throws his head back as Even’s hands tighten on his thighs. He can feel Even writhing under him, but it’s the good kind, the kind where he tries to push himself impossibly closer to Isak, to bury his head even more against Isak’s ass and Isak is having trouble trying to remember why he can’t come just yet.

Because he could. He could come from this easily. From how good Even’s tongue and face feels, the sounds spilling out of him, how enthusiastic he is in letting Isak ride his face. It’s just so good, it makes Isak’s balls ache and his dick throb, and he hears himself make these small _ah, ah, ah,_ sounds that he knows he’ll feel in his throat later.

He’s trying not to get too lost in it, tries to keep himself back, but Even is making it hard. The way he pulls Isak down onto him, just stabs his tongue inside of his hole again and again while moaning like it’s the best thing he’s ever experienced, it’s just making Isak sweat. He needs to get a grip on himself, needs to change it up, he can feel himself being pushed further and further to the edge, and for the first time in his life he wonders if he could actually come like this, just from sitting on Even’s face, letting him rim him within an inch of his life.

Even tightens his grip even more on Isak’s thighs and moans against his hole and the vibrations that cause makes Isak realize that he probably could.

But that’s for another time, he can’t come yet. They’re not _done_.

He reluctantly sits up a bit, uses his aching thigh muscles to slowly get up, just enough that Even can’t reach him anymore, but Even leans up and follows him as far as he can go, like he doesn’t want Isak to move away from him, like he could keep doing that all day, and he whines when Isak finally gets so far away that he can’t reach him anymore.

“No, come back, what are you doing?” he says and his voice makes Isak’s mouth dry.

He makes the mistake of looking down at him. Fuck. Even’s mouth looks wrecked, his lips are so swollen and the skin around them so red and puffy. He looks fucking _obscene_.

Isak loves him just a little bit more for letting him do this, for enjoying it so much. He slides down to sit on Even’s chest again and can’t help but stroke his fingers against the redness on Even’s face. He’s just so beautiful like this, looks so used and perfect that Isak can barely contain it.

“I have something else in mind now,” Isak says and runs his finger over Even’s lips. Even nips at it, starts smiling like he can’t wait for what’s next, and Isak slides off of him. He gets off the bed, pulls at Even until he’s standing in front of him. “We need to make sure your mouth gets some rest.”

Even raises his eyebrows at it, looks intrigued, and Isak leans in and starts kissing at the flushed skin of his neck. The heat tastes delicious and the taste of Even behind the sweat makes Isak’s dick twitch, makes him even more desperate.

He gets down on his knees with his face right in front of Even’s beautiful dick and Isak’s mouth starts to water at it.

With a broad tongue, he licks it from the bottom to the tip and Even moans hard and long. Isak steadies it with his hand and puts his lips around the tip, sucks and licks the precum there away.

Even puts his hands in Isak’s hair and that’s exactly what Isak wants.

He pulls back so the tip of Even’s dick rests against his lips and then he looks up at Even. He knows how much Even loves how he looks like this. He makes sure he keeps up the eye contact as he starts talking.

“F is for facefucking,” he says and Even’s response is immediate. The grip in Isak’s hair tightens and his mouth turns slack.

“Fuck Isak,” he moans and he looks lost to it already and Isak hasn’t even started yet.

Luckily, Even seems on board, seems to know just what Isak wants, as he tightens his grip on Isak’s hair even more and pulls him in, makes him take his dick into his mouth once more.

Isak moans, hopes that Even will forget his constant worry for Isak’s comfort and just do it, just fuck his face. Isak wants to know how far he can go, how much dick it will take before he chokes.

Even pulls him gently down on his dick and at the first sign of Isak’s throat constricting around it, he pulls off again. He does it again, and the same thing happens and Isak is getting annoyed. This isn’t facefucking, not even close.

So Isak takes matters into his own hands, pushes himself down on Even’s dick, forces it down his throat until he feels like he’s about to gag and then he stays there. And hums around it. Even’s dick twitches, his fist tightens in his hair and Isak moans at how good that feels, how perfect Even’s dick filling his throat is.

Even pulls out a little bit and then thrusts carefully back in, but he’s going further in this time. Isak focuses on breathing, on working his tongue, on not gagging, constantly pushing his thumb into his palm in an attempt to stave off the reflex, making sure that Even can stay down his throat.

It seems that seeing Isak taking his dick so well makes Even feel ready to go further as he starts thrusting a bit harder into Isak’s mouth, going further and further down his throat with every push. His grip on his hair is so tight that Isak feels his scalp tingle, and it hurts, but in a very good way, a way that just makes his dick throb even more, makes him breathe harder through his nose.

“Fuck, you look good like this,” Even says in a low voice, like he’s not really talking to Isak, more like he just has to say something. “Your fucking mouth, Isak!”

Isak looks up at him, makes sure Even can see his lips stretch obscenely over his dick, makes sure he can hear the slurping sounds he’s making as he slowly pulls off, hollowing his cheeks the entire way.

Even moans loudly at the sight Isak makes, and then he uses the grip on Isak’s hair to pull him back onto his dick, much more roughly than he’s ever done before.

Isak closes his eyes, is immediately lost in how good it feels to be used like this by Even, to know that he’s providing him with so much pleasure that he’s losing himself to it, is letting his body take over.

Every time Even thrusts down his throat, he feels his own dick pulse and his balls throb deeply. He feels it acutely, how his dick is hanging heavily between his legs, begging for any kind of stimulation.

But Even’s going harder now, is getting into a rhythm that’s making his balls slap against Isak’s chin with every thrust and Isak is so gone with how good it feels to have his throat abused like this that he does nothing but just sit there, grabs onto Even’s thighs and holds on for the ride of his life.

He’s moaning and breathing and his body tingles with pleasure. It’s so much and so good that he doesn’t even care how sore his throat is getting. He just wants more, wants Even to go harder, to lose himself even more.

He’s not sure if he’d actually be able to take more, but he’s willing to find out.

His jaw is really starting to ache, and he feels how wet his lips and chin are from spit and precum, but he doesn’t care about anything except how Even fills his throat again and again, how he keeps him there with his hands, making him take it. Isak feels how his throat opens up more and more with every thrust, and he ignores the tears streaming from his eyes.

Even’s thighs are shaking under his hands. He’s surrounded by the concentrated scent of Even and the taste of him in his mouth and nothing has ever felt better than this.

He feels how his own dick is leaking precum, he’s making himself wet and he’s sure it must be dripping onto the floor with how much he feels it dripping down the length of him. He must make such a sight, sitting there just slowly losing himself to Even’s pleasure.

In one particular long slide in, Isak finds his nose buried in Even’s curls at the base, and there’s such a sense of accomplishment going through him, knowing that he’s taking everything Even has to give him, that he was able to fit it all inside, and Even sounds like he’s dying. He’s just holding Isak there, making it very hard for him to breathe, but he stays, lets Even decide how long he’s going to keep his dick so far down his throat.

When Even pulls back, Isak slides off all the way, panting and just trying to catch his breath again. He can’t help but cough, is trying to relieve his throat a bit, and Even makes a distressed sound. Isak can feel Even’s hands slide down from his hair to his cheeks, and Even just holds his face in his hands gently.

“Did I hurt you?” he says, and he sounds so concerned and Isak loves him so much, but this is not the place for it.

He looks up at Even, makes sure he can see how used his face looks, his eyes red from tears and how resolved he is when he says, “No. I want more.”

Even makes a strangled sound, slides his hands back in Isak’s hair as Isak leans forward to take Even’s dick back in his mouth.

He loves that, loves that Even believes him when he tells him he can take him, that he trusts him to know his own boundaries.                                     

Isak deepthroats him in one, long slide, just takes him in all the way and buries his face in Even’s curls again. He ignores how sore his throat is now. This, being surrounded like this by Even, is enough to make him forget about anything else, enough to make him feel like he’s in pleasure overload. He never knew it could be like this.

Even just grabs onto his hair again, makes his scalp tingle with the grip and he uses it to thrust into Isak’s mouth. Isak relaxes his throat as much as he can, keeps his eyes closed to stave off some of the overstimulation he’s feeling, focuses on the taste and smell of Even, how every thrust makes his own dick pulse and tingle, makes electricity run through it, adding to how much it almost aches from wanting release now.

He slowly peels a hand off Even’s thigh, even though he can feel how Even’s straining under it, and all that tight muscle just makes him want to go back to touching. But he has other, more desperate needs to take care of now.

He spreads his legs a bit, which makes it easier to keep his balance and then he finally wraps his hand around himself. It’s such a relief that he wants to sob with it, wants to just sit there and pant, but there’s so much sensation in him that he’s riding a fine line of too much.

So he just keeps his hand there, just lets himself get used to the stimulation the hard grip on his dick gives him. He feels how Even’s dick is pushing his desperate sounds back down his throat with every push and he’s so fucking close to coming, just wants faster, harder, _more_. They’re the only words his brain can comprehend right now, and he’s sure that if he could actually speak, those would be pouring out of him.

Even is panting, moaning loudly, muttering _fuck, fuck_ , interspersed with praises of Isak’s mouth, and Isak fucking loves it. He wants to live here, in front of Even, just giving him all the pleasure he deserves. This is perfect. He’s perfect.

Even’s grip on his hair turns painful and Isak moans at it, and he can’t keep his hand still anymore. He strokes himself frantically, just works himself hard and fast and he knows it won’t take long.

Even is clearly close as well. He’s leaking precum, coating Isak’s mouth and throat with it, making Isak wonder if he’ll ever taste anything else again, ever taste anything better. He feels it in how Even’s body is shivering under his hand, in the sounds that are pouring out of him, in the way he’s gripping onto Isak.

Isak has to see, has to know if Even’s as affected by this as he is, so he slowly opens his eyes, blinks away his tears so he can look.

Even is a _sight_. His hair is flopped down to his forehead, he’s looking right at Isak and his pupils are blown. His lips are still puffy and red from Isak riding them, and it’s that reminder that does it for Isak.

His orgasm rushes over him much faster than he anticipated. It just suddenly hits him, harder than he ever remembers, makes him tightens his grip on his dick, makes him feel how his mouth turns slack, how his balls pull up tight and his eyes close, and then he starts shooting.

It’s almost a relief, how it washes over him, makes him see white and forget everything around him. He loses himself, gives himself over to it, to how perfect this is, covers Even’s legs and feet in cum. His skin tingles in pleasure, his mind is scattered and his feet are curling against the floor, making it hard for him to keep his balance.

Luckily, Even’s grip on his hair keeps him in place, makes him able to just focus on how fucking good his entire body feels, how the pleasure spreads into every corner of him, fills him out completely.

He hears himself make muffled sounds against Even’s dick that’s still in his mouth, but at least he’s pulled out enough that Isak can breathe. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from choking on it, he’s too lost in his orgasm. He doesn’t stop until his balls are empty, until the strokes on his dick is riding the fine line of too much, and then he loosens his grip. He stays there on his knees, panting around Even’s dick, fighting to get enough air into his lungs, to make the last convulsions going through his body settle down.

He would’ve stayed there forever, lost in this bliss, if it wasn’t for the sound Even makes. It’s the most desperate sound Isak has ever heard from him, and he opens his eyes to look up at Even who looks so flushed and sweaty and frantic, with his mouth open and slack, and his entire body is shaking with want.

“Fuck Isak, I’m so close, can I….?” he asks but doesn’t finish, just moves his hips a little bit, like he can’t help himself.

And that makes Isak settle, makes him realize that there’s still something he’s not done with.

He tightens his lips around Even, hollows his cheeks and _sucks_. Keeps sucking as he takes Even down his throat further and further, goes as far as he can and then he does it again.

His throat is sore now, but it’s manageable. He’s sure he can stand it as long as Even keeps making those sounds.

Even starts thrusting slowly into his mouth again, but isn’t going as deep as he was before. But his pace quickens, like he’s so close he just needs the last push.

Isak is more than willing to help with that.

He takes his hand away from his dick and puts it on Even’s balls instead, rubs at the skin, rolls his sensitive balls between his fingers, coats the skin there in the remnants of his own cum. It feels so good that he can’t help but moan and that seems to do it for Even.

In a swift move, he buries himself as far down Isak’s throat as he can go, almost without warning, and he starts shooting down his throat. Isak focuses on holding his breath, of not fighting the intrusion, on the feeling of Even’s dick pulsing against his tongue, against the softness of his throat, on the feeling of how his stomach must be filling with Even’s cum.

It’s enough to make his own dick twitch, even though it’s lying against his thigh, completely spent. There’s just something about that feeling, about how Even uses him as a tool to get off, that makes Isak flush all over again, makes him wish he could get hard already once more.

Even starts pulling out as soon as he’s done shooting, and the taste of the cum still leaking out of him explodes on Isak’s tongue as he does, making Isak moan, which in turn makes Even whine from overstimulation. He pulls out completely, takes a staggering step back and sits down heavily on the bed.

He sits there, panting, is looking at Isak with wide eyes and an open mouth, looking so fucking perfect that Isak isn’t sure how he can move on from this. The sight of Even like this, overwhelmed and blissed, will forever be burned into his retinas, will forever stay on his mind.

Even puts out his hand, inviting Isak close, and Isak pushes himself off his aching knees to sit down next to Even and get his arms around him.

Even rests his lips against Isak’s temple, just breathes against him and he puts his hand on Isak’s thigh.

Isak slowly leans back, takes Even with him and then they’re lying next to each other, entangled in each other’s arms, legs sticking out from the side of the bed.

It’s quiet between them like they’re both still trying to come down, and Isak wants to kiss Even so bad. But Even’s mouth has just been on his ass, and he just can’t.

Instead, he nuzzles his face into Even’s neck, runs his nose gently against the skin there, knows how weak Even is for how squishy his nose is.

“Isak, that was…” Even says, still a bit out of breath and the awe in his voice makes Isak smile and nuzzle a bit further into his neck.

“Yeah, that was good,” he says and flushes at how fucked-out his voice sounds. He tries to clear his throat, but he suspects that his voice will sound affected for a while.

“Good. Yeah, I guess that’s a word for it,” Even says with a smile, making Isak giggle.

He’s proud that he’s able to make his boyfriend feel like this. How much admiration he can put in his voice, in the way his fingers are stroking the skin of his back.

He’s the luckiest man alive, nothing will ever beat this feeling.

The only thing better than that is how being with Even makes him feel like this every single minute of every single day.

Isak will do everything in his power to make Even feel just as loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F for facesitting and facefucking (no, Sarah didn’t guess this one! :))
> 
> Can you guys believe we’re 1/3 of the way through now?? Jesus!! :)


	10. S

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay peeps, finally another Friday chapter from me! :)
> 
> Maugurt once again beta’ed this chapter, making it so much better for it. Thanks, bb! <3
> 
> Mind this one, if you’re worried about triggers, please go to the endnotes and see what the letter is about before you read.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy the ride! :)

Isak flushes when he sees what letter Even has drawn. It's like a visceral reaction. He can't help how his entire body tingles with it.

“S,” Even says and looks at Isak in a way he can't decipher.

Maybe it's because there's something Isak desperately wants with this letter, something that just the idea of has made him harder and come faster in the past than almost any other thing.

He’s glad he's mentioned it to Even, but he's afraid that Even can't remember, or that he's figured something else out.

Isak wants. So badly. And he hopes that Even knows it enough to do what he wants him to.

\--||--

Isak changes his routine the next night. He sleeps naked, takes a shower before going to bed, cleans himself extra down there.

He wants to be ready for Even, just in case.

Tries to let Even know just how much of a wish this is for him, without having to tell him with words again.

When he wakes up from the alarm the first morning with Even still sleeping next to him, the disappointment is so great, it’s almost hard for him to get out of bed, to go about his daily routine. He stays in the kitchen, sipping coffee for much longer than he should, and he ends up being almost late for his first lesson.

He tries to concentrate, tries to focus on what the teacher is telling him, but he feels weird in his body, not quite like himself. He’s being way too quiet, and at lunch, the boys notice. Jonas bumps into his shoulder and does that eyebrow thing that communicates a thousand words to him. _What’s going on? Do you want to talk? Should I be worried?_

Isak shrugs him off, tries to tell him in his own way that there’s nothing to worry about, not really. He’s just lost in his head for a little bit.

Not to mention very confused about this reaction.

It’s not like he can’t just ask for it another time if this doesn’t happen now. It was just so hard to say it out loud the first time, like he was crossing a line, and even though Even took it well, didn’t seem to think it was disgusting or out of bounds, it’s still something Isak’s kept to himself for a very long time, something he never imagined he would tell anyone, and he’s not sure he’ll be able to say it out loud again.

So this might be it, this might be his chance to try it.

And that makes him so nervous. That so much could be riding on one letter, on Even choosing right. He’s afraid to think of how he might react if Even wants to do something else. He’s pretty sure that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything else, his mind is just so stuck on this.

His weird mood continues throughout the day, follows him home from school. Even definitely notices, but doesn’t ask. Isak kinda suspects that Even has an idea of what’s going on in Isak’s head, but he’s good enough not to say something.

It’s quiet in the apartment. Every time Even tries to start a conversation, Isak only answers in short sentences or single words. He’s not really interested in talking.

He basically just wants this day over with, so he can hopefully wake up tomorrow with his boyfriend's dick in his ass.

And just that thought, that _idea_ , makes him flush and breathe a bit harder.   

He’s so fucked.

\--||--

When they go to bed, Even looks at Isak climbing into bed naked with raised eyebrows and an indulgent smile, but he’s good enough not to say anything about the missing briefs. Just scoots in close to Isak and kisses him goodnight.

Isak is vibrating with nerves and energy, is almost afraid that he might not be able to fall asleep from anticipation.

He tosses and turns for a while, for longer than he wants to, until Even takes matters into his own hands, puts his arms around him and pulls him tight to his body, surrounds him and gives him no choice but to lie still.

There’s something about lying like this, Even tight around him. He feels safe here, comfortable, like nothing can touch him. And he falls asleep quickly in Even’s arms.

\--||--

He wakes up slowly, like he’s trying to surface from molasses. The sleep is fighting him, keeps trying to pull him back under, but there’s something that made him wake up in the first place. Some kind of disturbance.

It’s not until he feels it again that he finally manages to fight the sleep.

But he doesn't wake with a start, it's still slow going, he's still waking up in increments, slowly getting a bearing on where he is.

He's in his bed, that's easy to realize. The smell of him and Even, so familiar, so accustomed, that he doesn't doubt it for one second.

He's achingly hard. His dick is lying flush between the bed and his stomach and he wants to touch it so bad. It almost feels like he might die if he doesn't.

But almost as soon as he has that thought, a sound pulls him out of his head. It's a slick sound, like glue or water, or _lube_ , and that's when he feels fingers being pushed inside of him.

Oh.

Fucking _yes_.

It feels like Even has been going at it for a while with how easy the slide in is. Isak isn't awake enough to know how many fingers are inside of him, but it's definitely more than one.

Isak feels how Even’s other hand is lying on his ass cheek, just gently pulling it to the side, probably so he can watch what he’s doing easier, and Isak fights the sound he almost makes at that. He doesn’t want to alert Even that he’s waking up, just wants to stay here like this a bit longer.

He’s still not quite awake, but he’s getting there. He’s still all loose in his body, still pliant and relaxed and he wants to hold on to that feeling.

Even pulls his fingers out, strokes Isak’s ass and thighs, carefully, so, so gently, like he’s taking care not to wake Isak, but just can’t help himself but touch.

He’s sitting on Isak’s thighs, and now that Isak is waking up, he can feel how Even’s dick brushes against the back of his legs from time to time, setting off an explosion of sensation in his nerves.

Everything just feels like so much more, so much more intense lying here like this, totally at the mercy of Even. He’s not scared by that, not at all. He’s never trusted anybody like he does Even and he knows that Even will make this good for him.

Just as he thinks that, he feels a bead of sweat fall from his forehead, down into the pillow. It tickles, but he ignores it. He’s still trying to stay in this place where his body is sleep-soft.

Even shuffles forward gently, his dick painting a wet trail along the way, all the way up to Isak’s ass, and Isak feels how the promise of what’s about to happen makes him sweat even more, makes his dick throb under him.

When Even stops, he’s sitting right behind Isak’s ass, Isak’s thighs pushed together by Even’s legs, his dick lying against his crack.

Isak hears the click of the lid to the lube and it’s a herculean effort to stay still now. He wants to clench his jaw, wants to fist the sheet, wants to arch his back and make it easier for Even.

He can hear the slick sounds of Even lubing up his dick, feels the coldness of the lube when Even’s hand absentmindedly grazes his ass.

Just the _idea_ of what’s about to happen, that Even is going to fuck him while he’s too out of it to do anything about it, makes his breath speed up, makes the hair on his body stand up and goosebumps break out all over. He’s so fucking ready for this, he can’t remember ever wanting anything more in his _life_.

He hears how Even wipes off the excess lube on the sheet, and then he puts his large hands on Isak’s ass cheeks and pulls them apart.

Fuck. Isak is fighting his body now, he’s so used to egging Even on when he does this, used to pushing his hips up so that he opens up for Even, so that Even can see more. He knows how much Even loves to watch him, loves the sight of him glistening and ready for him, and he opens his mouth a tiny bit, just enough to stave off the movement his body wants to do elsewhere.

Even stays like that, just looks at Isak, doesn’t move, and it’s driving Isak crazy. Isak doesn’t know how much time passes, could be seconds, could be hours. He’s getting desperate with Even’s slow pace, but he keeps himself still.

He feels how Even’s hands slide inwards, so his thumbs are resting against Isak’s rim and then he just continues the movement by sliding them into Isak. He pulls on his rim, opening Isak up for Even to see.

Isak can’t fight the sound that punches out of him, a desperate sigh, low and rough, and Even freezes on top of him.

Isak keeps still, doesn’t let on that he’s awake.

He lies there with Even’s thumbs in his ass, pulling him apart, making him sweat and flush and he's so fucking turned on that his dick is weeping precum into the sheet under him. Isak knows that Even’s looking at him, looking for signs whether he’s waking up, so he stays as calm as he possibly can. He hopes he’s convincing enough, he doesn’t want this to stop or change, wants Even to _think_ that he’s still asleep.

Seemingly reassured that Isak is still asleep, Even pulls his thumbs out of his ass slowly and soon, they’re replaced by Even’s dick. He lines himself up and Isak can feel the tip of it resting against his hole, can feel the wetness of it there. Even rubs it over Isak’s hole a couple of times, teasing himself and Isak, and then he starts to push in.

The blunt pressure feels fucking fantastic, makes Isak bear down, open himself up even more, and Even slides in easily in one perfect long slide, just in and in, until his dick is as far inside of Isak as it can get in this position.

Isak is panting now, can feel how every breath he takes rubs his own dick against the bed under him, how it shifts the dick inside of him.

“Are you awake?” Even whispers, real low, like he’s afraid to break the silence.

Isak has never been through anything more excruciatingly hard than keeping still, than not just put his arms out and fist the sheet, than not just say _fucking yes, get a move on!_ But he somehow manages.

Even stays there for a few breaths, and then he puts his hands back on Isak’s ass cheeks and pulls them apart again, giving himself more room to work his hole. He pulls out slowly, all the way, and Isak feels his mouth turn dry as the head pulls at his rim.

Once it’s out all the way, he just pushes in again, this time a little bit faster, making sweat pool in the dip of Isak’s back. The slide is long, but it’s so easy and Isak loves how pliant his body is being for Even, how it just opens for him, makes space for him.

Even must enjoy it too, because he mutters, “Fuck!” and it’s rough and desperate, like he can’t help it.

Isak loves that Even’s enjoying this too. It makes it almost impossible for him not to start fucking himself back on Even’s long dick.

This time, Even stays inside, works his hips so that he’s sliding in and out of Isak in small, slow movements, and Isak is dying.

He doesn’t quite understand how his body can even keep still anymore. It feels like all the nerves in his body has started to shoot, his skin tingling from it. Every point of contact between them is magnified by a thousand, even the place where Even’s thighs are rubbing against him every time he moves feels sexual. It all just adds to how much Isak is feeling.

Even shuffles forward a bit more on his knees, leans forward with his body and pulls harder on Isak’s ass, giving him more room to work, making it easier to go further. And then he starts to thrust a bit harder, seemingly less concerned about waking Isak up now.

The first hard thrust pushes Isak up the bed a bit, creates delicious friction on his dick from the bed and his stomach and Isak can’t stop a moan from falling out of him.

Even pauses, but his hips are still working, small rolling movements, like he can’t keep still anymore, and he’s panting hard.

“Are you awake?” he asks again, giving Isak room to speak up.

Isak isn’t quite sure what to do here. He wants this to continue, but he doesn’t want Even to worry either. He’s lost in his thoughts, torn between his desires and his wish to reassure Even.

“Please tell me if you are. I really want to fuck you,” Even says in a desperate tone, for the first time not whispering, and Isak is powerless against it.

“Yes, fuck,” he says, his voice rough and low and just as desperate as Even’s. “Just fuck me, Even. Fuck me.”

The words are barely out of Isak’s mouth before Even does. In a quick roll of his hips, he buries his dick so deep that Isak swears that something changes inside of him and he finally lets the sounds pour out of him.

Even is barely done with the first thrust before he pulls back and does it again, and then again, and Isak finally fists the sheet in an attempt to hang on for dear life.

He’s being fucked so good, so right, his dick leaking and throbbing under him, his balls pulling up tight like he’s already close to coming and it’s overwhelmingly perfect.

Even is perfect like this.

“You don’t even know how fucking good you feel, all loose from sleep, just lying there, taking what I give you,” Even says, quickly and punctuated by the frantic thrusts from him.

Isak is being pushed up the bed with every shove, his dick leaving a wet trail behind him, and he’s fucking dying. He’s getting loud, his entire body shaking from what Even’s doing to him and his eyes are clenched shut. There’s just no way that he’d be able to survive looking at Even, seeing how affected he surely is by this as well.

With the way he’s sounding, he must be a completely irresistible sight there, sitting on top of Isak, giving him the fucking of a lifetime. Making Isak’s deepest wishes come true and enjoying it just as much.

Even keeps shuffling his thighs forward to follow Isak until he just mutters, “Stay here,” and takes his hands off Isak’s ass to put them on his shoulders instead. He leans forward, puts his weight on them, pinning Isak to the mattress. And then he just slams into Isak over and over, just gives him his all, buries himself so deep inside of Isak that Isak can feel his eyes roll back in his head behind his eyelids.

Isak is losing his mind. He’s wailing, throat already sore with how loud he’s being, his chest pushed so far into the mattress by Even’s weight that he can barely breathe, but it feels so right, feels so good to be held down like this, how Even is making him take it.

Even’s deep stabs of his dick finds his prostate and Isak shouts at it, can’t keep in the sounds or the way his eyes sting with tears.

He feels like he’s spiraling, like he’s enveloped in pleasure and every cell in his entire body vibrates from him, keeps pushing him higher and higher alongside Even’s dick working his insides.

He tries to push his hips up, to arch his back. He just wants to get closer, wants more of Even, wants everything.

Even is chanting _fuck, fuck, fuck_ , over him, and it’s like he’s _everywhere_.

He’s so deep in Isak, just keeps stabbing his prostate, and it’s just on the right side of painful, just on the good side of too much.

Isak has never felt anything like it, has never lost himself in anything this quickly, never felt anything so encompassing than this pleasure, this ecstasy that Even is drowning him in.

Blood pulses through his veins, feels like it’s close to boiling under his skin, and he’s wet with sweat, his toes curling against the sheet, rucking it up.

Even leans forward even more, lies down on top of Isak, puts his arms around him and suddenly Isak is surrounded by everything Even. His dick is still buried so deep inside of him, and the deep grinds he’s doing now, working his hips round and round, just makes his dick rub Isak’s prostate continuously, just a constant drag that makes Isak soar with feeling, makes him desperate to come, fills him up in a way that he’s almost not sure he hasn’t started to yet.

Even’s lips are resting against his temple. He can feel how his breath washes over his face, lights up the nerves there even more, makes him sensitive in a way that’s barely tolerable, but Isak clenches his eyes at it. Lets himself take whatever Even wants to give him.

Even licks over his temple, moans at it like the taste of Isak’s sweat is somehow the best he’s ever tasted.

“You feel so fucking good, Isak. You’re so perfect like this, just taking my dick, letting go. I love you so fucking much,” he says into Isak’s ear, feeds him his truths and Isak is powerless against anything but just lying there, taking it.

It’s easy to make himself believe it, just for a little while, because Even sounds lost, sounds in awe of Isak and Isak wants to say I love you back, but he can’t. There’s no room in him for coherent words, all he manages to pant out is _more_ , but he feels Even smile against him at it.

He tightens his grip around Isak’s upper body and then lifts his hips up and slams down roughly, burying himself so deep inside of Isak that Isak’s mind stops working. His mouth is open in a silent scream and he just gives himself over to the pleasure as Even does it again and again.

He’s working Isak hard, giving him his all and Isak’s dick is pulsing with pleasure, his balls aching and tight and Isak realizes just moments before it happens that he’s about to come untouched.

With one vicious shove, hard and fast and deep and _perfect_ , hitting his prostate dead on and rubbing Isak’s dick between the sheets and his stomach, Isak starts to come.

His entire body tightens, his skin buzzes with energy, electricity running through his dick in small zaps, from the base to the tip alongside with bursts of cum, making the bed and his stomach wet with it.

It’s a surreal experience, like his orgasm is being pulled from him, like he has no say at all over his body, he just lies there and empties his aching balls in encompassing bursts, pleasure radiating from his ass with tendrils all over his body, filling him up in a way he’s never felt before.

He’s never been more alive.

He notices how fast the blood is running in his veins, how his lungs are fighting to get enough air into them, how wet his skin is with sweat, how hot and flushed his entire body is.

Everything is so much, it’s fucking perfect.

Even keeps slamming into him while Isak’s coming, prolonging it, making it feel even better with all that sensation in his ass, but as soon as the last drop of cum is pushed out of him, it starts to tip over into discomfort. It’s not painful, it’s just not good anymore either.

He whines, and as soon as that sound leaves his mouth, he feels Even pull out, swiftly and a bit abruptly, making Isak whine from how empty he feels, how open he is. He feels his hole twitch around nothing like it’s fighting to close up, and he’s never felt this sloppy in his life.

Even is muttering curses, is whispering under his breath as he leans back on Isak’s thighs and it’s easy to hear the slick sounds of his hand working his dick, even through the loudness of the blood pulsing in Isak’s ears.

“Isak, fuck. Look at you, fuck,” Even is muttering, running his other hand appreciatively down Isak’s back, down to his ass where he proceeds to take a strong hard grip on his ass cheek and pulls it so Isak’s gaping hole is revealed to him and Isak pushes his head into the bed at the sound Even makes at that.

“Fuck, you’re still so open, I can’t believe how fucking good you look,” he says, making Isak whine and rub his forehead against the pillow under him.

Even talking like this is almost too much. Isak knows that this is his truth, that this is actually how he sees Isak and that thought is just almost unbearable. He can’t believe that he could ever mean this much to another human being. That just being together like this could mean just as much to Even as it does to him.

Even is working his dick hard. Isak revels in the slick sound he’s producing, wishes he could turn over and help Even, but he can’t move from the weight on top of him. So instead, he arches his back, pushes his hips off the bed so that Even can see better, presents himself to Even although his thighs are shaking, and his entire body is protesting him moving.

He doesn’t fucking care, he just wants Even to see the results of his hard work, wants him to know just what he’s doing, what he’s done, to Isak.

Even makes a high-pitched sound at it, low and rough and Isak can’t help but try to spread his legs a bit, just to show Even more.

“Shit,” Even says, just as he pushes his dick back inside of Isak, and Isak tightens his body all over in surprise at that.

And then Even starts coming. Isak feels how Even’s dick pulses in his ass, how Even thrusts erratically inside of him, pushing ropes of cum inside, before he just as quickly pulls out and unloads the rest of it over Isak’s wide hole and ass.

The slick sounds continue as Even continues to come and Isak is panting alongside of Even. He’s never felt anything better than to be marked like this by Even. It feels like Even is claiming him, letting everyone know that Isak is his, and Isak is all fucking for it.

He can feel how Even is shaking on top of him, how his entire body is lost to the pleasure, and Isak finally lets go of the sheet with one hand to put it on top of Even’s thighs.

“Even…” he says and doesn’t know what he wants to say more than that. He just knows that he needs to say his name, maybe let him know that he’s here, that he’s there with him.

The slick sounds of Even’s hand on his dick are dying down, like he’s almost done coming, and then he puts the tip to Isak’s used hole and starts to rub the cum into his rim with it.

Isak almost chokes on his tongue from how fucking dirty that feels. He’s so tender, knows that he must look puffy and red, but Even just keeps doing it, makes Isak flush all over again with how perfectly good it feels to have Even do that to him.

Even pushes himself inside of Isak as much as he can now that he’s turning soft, and then he puts his cum-wet hand on top of Isak’s on his thigh.

Isak groans at the feeling, of all the sensation that’s still in his body.

He almost can’t contain it, almost feels like he’s losing himself a little bit from it.

And like Even realizes that, like he somehow knows that Isak is starting to rip at the seams, he lies back down on top of Isak, making his half hard dick slip out of him, much to the chagrin of Isak.

But it’s perfect having Even’s weight on him, perfect in how he puts his arms under him, around him, pulls him in tight and kisses his cheeks and shoulders.

“You are so perfect for me, Isak. It’s like you were made for me,” Even whispers intimately, and Isak has to close his eyes at the reverence his tone carries.

He feels like crying, feels like it would be so easy to just give himself over to it, to let himself believe that what Even says is true. Because the way he says it, the way he makes him feel, the way that Isak’s brimming over with love and adoration for Even, makes it almost hard to withstand it.

He wants to believe it so bad. Wants to believe that this is a universe where he deserves to be loved this much.

“Even…” he says again, like he doesn’t know any other word, and it’s easy to hear how affected he is, how broken his voice is.

“I love you,” Even says and tightens his grip on him.

And Isak lets himself believe.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S is for somnophilia.
> 
> Please, don’t try this at home without having a thorough conversation with your partner about it first…. :)
> 
> I’m not quite sure when the next chapter will be up. The Christmas fic has three chapters, and if things go according to plan, I’ll post one every day from the 20th to the 23rd. So that means that there’ll be no AA chapter next week.
> 
> Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope you have a good one. :)
> 
> EDIT: I've answered an ask on tumblr about Isak and Even's thoughts going into this and as I love writing meta for this story, it got long and porny. If you're interested, you can read it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/168616459124/ughh-that-was-absolutely-fantastic-i-did-not).
> 
> And I've answered a couple of asks of Even's POV in S and you can find that [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/170622498819/hi-ive-been-a-hugeee-fan-of-your-writing-for-so). :)


	11. G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Friday smut my peeps! It’s been good to take a small break for the holidays (I hope you enjoyed my Christmas and New Year’s fics!) and I’m back well-rested and in the mood for writing smut for you. ;)
> 
> Maugurt couldn’t beta this one as she’s busy with RL (I cry!) but Immy agreed to do it instead and saved the day. Thanks, bb! <3
> 
> As always the letter is explained in the end notes if you can't wait. :)
> 
> Okay, I’m done now, happy reading! :D

Isak’s not really sure how he feels about this.

He’s standing in front of Kondomeriet, trying to look inconspicuous, while working up the courage to go in there.

He needs some… _stuff_ for the next letter. And for some later letters as well. He drew G this morning.

After what Even did to him, after he fulfilled his fantasy like he did, he just wants to give back so badly. He knows what Even has been fantasizing about, and he wants to fulfill that for him. Wants to treat Even just as well as he has treated him.

He takes a deep breath, straightens his back, and then he goes inside.

It doesn’t take long for Isak to feel fucking lost.

There are just so many toys here, all sorts of dildos and oils and vibrators and things he didn’t even know _existed_ , and he’s just not sure what would be right for them.

His instinct is screaming at him to just choose something, to just get it over with so he can get out of there again. But he suppresses it, knows he has to be a little bit more adult about it, so he actually tries to figure out what to buy.

He takes one of the packaged dildos off the wall, ignores how he’s flushing, and reads what it says on the back. He puts it back and picks up another one. The fifth time he does this, he’s interrupted by one of the shop assistants.

“That one is a good starting dildo,” she says and points to the dildo in Isak’s hand. She’s so unassuming, radiates kindness and easiness, and weirdly, it makes him want to ask her for her help.

“What do you mean by starting dildo?” he asks, and she smiles at him.

She reaches past him and grabs one of the really big ones, larger than Isak could ever imagine actually fitting in someone’s ass, purple and veined, and Isak freezes. She looks amused by his wide eyes.

“This? Is _not_ a good starting dildo,” she says and widens her smile.

Isak clears his throat and somehow manages to say, “No, it doesn’t look like one.”

He can’t help but clench his insides in sympathy. Goddammit, that’s huge. He’s relieved when she puts it back and goes back to talking to him about the one he’s still holding.

He looks at it and tries to decide if it’s too big for what he has in mind. But then he glances at the enormous dildo, still wobbling from being touched, and decides that this is probably a good size.

It’ll do.

20 minutes later he leaves the shop with a bag full of supplies for him and Even. He feels so much wiser and confident about sex toys now than he ever imagined he would be.

He can’t wait to show Even.

 --||--

A day later, Even comes home from work looking exhausted, but still happy to see Isak. It’s honestly one of the things Isak loves about him, how he always smiles when he sees him.

It’s impossible not to get affected by it.

But Isak is prepared, knows that Even hates working Saturdays, so he’s planned to do the letter tonight, planned something really nice for Even. He knows how tired he is after these shifts. He just wants him to feel as good as he had a couple of nights ago. Wants to show him how grateful he is for it.

Even comes to kiss him and Isak hums into the kiss.

“I have a surprise for you,” he says once Even pulls back a bit.

Even exhales roughly and puts his hand through his hair. “I’m honestly not sure if I’m in the mood for anything tonight, baby,” he says and looks apologetic.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Isak simply says and loves how that makes Even’s eyebrows rise and his smile return.

“I don’t?”

Isak shakes his head. “You don’t.” He leans in to kiss Even. “Except to take your clothes off.”

Even smiles even wider at that.

“I can do that.”

Isak puts the two big towels they have on the bed and makes Even lie down on top of them on his stomach once he’s naked. He rids himself of his own clothes fast as well and grabs the bottle of massage oil he bought at Kondomeriet.

He straddles Even’s thighs and pours a generous portion of the oil into his hand as he says, “I’m gonna make you feel really good, you just lie there and I’ll take care of you.”

He more hears than sees Even’s smile, but he can feel how he seems to melt into the mattress under him.

“That sounds good,” he sighs and Isak is filled with fondness. Wants to take care of this soft man under him.

So he does.

He warms the oil up by rubbing his hands together and then he puts his hands on Even’s shoulders. As expected they’re really tense, muscles hard under them and Isak starts working on loosening them up.

It’s not his first time massaging Even. He loves it, loves how he can make him relax under his hands.

He focuses on working Even’s back with his fingers, just wants him to loosen up. And he can feel it slowly working. Even alternates between hisses when Isak finds a particularly tense spot and hums contentedly when Isak manages to loosen it up.

Isak works up a rhythm, lose himself in it a bit, just keeps working Even’s shoulders. Once they’re are done he slowly slides his hands down the length of Even’s spine and starts working the muscles on his lower back.

He loves touching Even like this. Loves digging his fingers into the strong, but delicate, curves of his back, working out every kink hidden underneath his skin, slowly making Even melt even further into the mattress. There’s absolutely no doubt that he’s enjoying this. Isak glances up to see him with his face turned sideways on the pillow, eyes closed and a small, relaxed smile playing on his lips.

He’s gorgeous like this.

His lean body stretched out, pliant and relaxed just humming happily along with Isak’s ministrations. He’s perfect. Isak just wants to touch him all over. And he plans to do just that.

He works on the long muscles on Even’s back, lets his hands get really warm and as he gets lower and lower towards Even’s buttocks he can feel him squirm a bit under him. And even though he loves that, loves how responsive Even is, he skips them and shuffles down on the bed until he can reach Even’s feet instead. It’s not about that. Not yet.

He works Even’s foot, enjoys the almost purring moans he’s getting from him with it, knows just how much Even enjoys getting his feet massaged. He runs his thumb hard along the arch of Even’s sole before he moves on to his calf.

Even’s so tight here, probably from standing up all day, so Isak makes sure to give them extra attention. He uses more oil, makes sure that Even is slick from it, wants to make him slippery.

He moves on to his thigh, but once again stops before his buttocks, so he can move on to the other leg. This time he doesn’t miss the impatient groan Even makes when he does.

He works Even’s other foot and leg, soften and loosen the muscles under his hands and doesn’t move on to the next part until it feels like Even’s ready for it.

He’s not in a hurry. He has all night to do this. As long as it seems like Even’s on board, that he’s enjoying this, Isak will keep going.

When he’s done with Even’s legs he finally moves on to his ass. He pours more oil onto his hands, gets them really wet, but instead of massaging him here he just runs his hands over the skin.

Even is so soft here, the skin downy and tight and Isak rubs the oil in gently. Makes sure that he’s touching Even everywhere here, that there’s not even a millimeter of skin he hasn’t been over, hasn’t gotten slick with oil.

He’s chubbing up just doing this. He can’t help but run his fingers down, over Even’s crack, skimming over hiss rim coaxing a strangled sound out of him.

Isak has to restrain himself, this isn’t supposed to turn sexual, not yet, so he has to stop, has to let go.

“Turn over,” he says in a low, rough voice, but he doesn’t care that Even knows just how affected he is by him.

Even does, slowly, lazily, so relaxed from how Isak’s been working him, and Isak’s heart roars at how he can do that just by touching him.

When he lies down on his back his eyes stay open, just looking at Isak, taking him in. Isak pretends not to notice, but the way Even’s looking at him almost feels like a touch, almost feels like a loving caress.

Isak heats up, chubs up even more, but moves on like he’s unaffected.

This time he starts with Even’s legs, runs his thumb along the ridge of the bones in his lower leg, skims over the tight skin of his knees, to the big muscles in his thighs, which for some reason seems tense and sore. Isak stays there for a while until his fingers almost start to cramp up from it, but the sounds pouring out of Even as he does are almost pornographic and Isak is rock hard in no time from them.

Even’s eyes are finally closed like he’s giving himself over to how good what Isak is doing to him feels, and Isak loves it.

This was exactly what he planned for, exactly what he wanted. Once he’s done with the legs he moves on to Even’s arms, sits on his knees next to Even and lets the arm rest in his lap as he begins with the hand.

Even loves when Isak caresses his hands, loves holding hands and it seems that generally he uses his hands to express love and affection, so Isak takes extra care with them. Gently massages each finger, runs his thumb over the lines in the palm, and the arm feels heavy and relaxed.

Even gives off a vibe of complete relaxation. Like he’s close to sleep. And Isak would be fooled if it wasn’t for how he’s hard as well, how his mouth-watering, perfect dick is lying on his stomach.

And as Isak moves on from the arms to Even’s chest, as he slowly gets closer and closer to it, he notices how it’s slowly starting to leak with precum. How the tip just gets more and more wet, to the point where it’s dripping in slow, thick drops down onto his stomach.

Isak has to swallow hard at how fucking good it looks, has to fight the urge to dive in and lick it off, because he wants to finish the massage before they move onto something else.

He squirts another good handful of the oil in his hand and uses it to massage the rest of Even, hurrying with his chest until only his dick is left. And Even is shivering now, is breathing hard and sweating a bit.

Isak leans back on his haunches, leans back to let himself admire the results of his hard work. How Even somehow simultaneously looks more relaxed than he has in a long while, and totally on edge.

He finally opens his eyes and looks at Isak with such desperation that Isak has to touch him. Has to.

He uses the rest of the oil on his hands and rubs his own upper body with it, greases himself up and then he lies down on top of Even. He doesn’t align himself with Even straight away, rather he lets the oil help him slide up Even’s body, rubbing their skin together in a very interesting way and it’s making them both moan.

Even’s mouth is open, his head lifted a bit from the bed, like he can’t wait to kiss Isak, like he can’t wait until he’s within reach and Isak can’t think of anything he’d want more.

When their lips finally meet, the kiss is bruising and frantic from the start, full on tongue and spit and Isak is panting in seconds. They’re sliding against each other, rubbing their bodies against each other and it feels so fucking good to finally have some friction on his dick.

Even spreads his legs for Isak, hitches his thighs up around his waist and opens up so beautifully.

Isak releases his lips, starts kissing down his jaw and neck and up again until he’s by his ear and then he whispers, “G is for glide.”

Even pulls back a bit and when their eyes meet his eyebrows are raised and he looks fondly puzzled.

“Glide?”

Isak smiles back a bit embarrassed, knows that he should’ve planned this letter better.

“Yeah, I really wanted to give you a massage, but we’ve already done M, so I had to get creative.”

Even huffs out a laugh, puts his hand on Isak’s neck and nuzzles his nose with his.

“So, what comes next?” he asks in a whisper. And Isak can feel his cheeks heating up even more.

“I don’t really have anymore planned. I just wanted to make you feel good. I’m sorry it’s so lame,” Isak says.

Even kisses him. “Baby, no, it’s not lame. I feel so good right now.”

And the small smile playing on his lips, the way that his eyes crinkle at the corners tells Isak that he really means it.

Even clears his throat, makes sure that Isak is focused on him and then he continues.

“Although you missed a spot, I’m still really tense here,” he says, making Isak laugh, and emphasizes it with a roll of his hips making his dick rub against Isak’s in a way that makes Isak laugh falter.

Isak doesn’t hesitate to kiss Even again, puts his hand on his thighs and opens him up even further so that his dick can rub at other more interesting places. The oil eases the glide from Even’s dick down his perineum, until it’s sliding over the rim, making him moan into Isak’s mouth.

“Fuck,” Isak mutters between kisses and keeps rolling his hips, keeps up the delicious slide with his dick against Even’s rim, catching on it from time to time making Even shiver against him.

Although Isak can feel the urgency building in him, can feel how it’s getting harder and harder to hold back, he still takes his time. Just stays there rubbing his dick against Even’s rim, slowly driving him crazy with how patient he’s being.

Isak knows this, wants Even to lose himself in this feeling a bit. In how much he wants it.

He loves this, loves how easy it is for him to turn Even on, to make him desperate for Isak. It’s an ego boost like no other. He’ll just never get over how he’s the one Even gives himself over to like this. That he gets to watch Even lose control, and he knows that it doesn’t matter how open and caring Even normally is. Nobody else gets to see him like this.

Isak’s chest feels too small for how hard his heart is beating inside of it, and it makes him feel proud and a little bit possessive that Even trusts him so with this.

He can feel how Even is squirming under him, like he’s really starting to lose patience with Isak and Isak just lets himself revel in it. He knows that it won’t be long before Even starts taking over, unless Isak asks him not to, but he’s not planning on doing that tonight.

This is for Even and Even gets to decide what he wants to do from here. Anything is okay with Isak, as long as he gets to be there for the ride.

Isak is still thinking this when he feels Even’s legs squeeze him tight and he puts his arms around Isak’s shoulders and Isak braces himself for what he knows is about to happen.

In a quick move, Even turns them over, so Isak is lying on his back and Even is straddling him, resting his hips on top of Isak’s and Isak puts his hands on his waist immediately.

“Fuck, Even,” he mutters and Even smiles at it. Isak knows how much he loves watching Isak lose it too so Isak doesn’t hold back with showing him just how turned on by this display he’s getting.

Even starts rolling his hips, just rubs his hole against the length of Isak’s dick and Isak’s mouth turns slack and his grip on Even’s waist turns harder.

Fuck, watching Even hyper-focused on him like this, how his eyes absorb every expression he makes, just makes Isak’s insides clench, makes him want to push his dick up into him and just take.

Instead of doing that he manages to say, “The oil doubles as lube.”

Even smiles, huffs out a small laugh and his eyes finally break away from Isak’s to look for the oil on the bed. As he reaches for it he says, “My clever boy, you always think of stuff like that.”

And it makes Isak feel so happy to be praised like that, makes him heat up and flush a bit more. Makes him impatient in a way he wasn’t just seconds ago.

He eagerly watches Even pour oil onto his fingers, watches him reach behind himself and watches how his mouth turns slack from what Isak suspects are fingers breaching him.

“Come on, Even,” Isak whines, can’t wait to get his dick inside of Even, can’t wait to feel how warm and snug and perfect he is inside.

He always is.

Even hurries through the prep, goes way too fast for Isak’s liking, but he trusts Even. Trusts him to know when he’s ready and how fast he can go.

And he lets Even decide now, lets him have a bit of control back, just stays there, tightening his grip on Even’s hips, slowly thrusting his dick up into Even’s perineum, like he just can’t help himself. Like he can’t stay still.

Which he can’t, not even if he wanted to.

Even is just such a sight. The way he throws his head back in pleasure revealing the long expanse of his neck. How his adam’s apple bobs when he groans at something his fingers are doing inside of him. The way his dick pulses with want, slowly, steadily dripping precum onto Isak’s stomach is just adding to Isak’s desperation.

He’s not sure that he can wait any longer but knows he has to. He has to make sure that Even’s ready, but the way Even’s starting to shake, the way he looks lost to the feeling, Isak knows that it won’t be long now.

Isak focuses on Even’s arm, on how the slick muscles in his shoulder look as he’s working himself on his fingers and Isak is already feeling wrecked from it. Somehow the oil just adds to how fucking perfect Even’s body looks, makes the way his muscles play under his skin pop out even more, and Isak can’t wait any longer.

“Even,” he warns and thrust a bit harder up into Even.

“Fuck, yes,” Even swears and finally pulls out his fingers.

And in a move almost too fast for Isak to register, Even’s holding on to Isak’s dick, steadying it, and then he’s sliding down the length of it.

Isak is lost. Even feels so tight, the perfect channel for Isak’s dick and he almost can’t breathe from it.

He’s sure his grip on Even’s waist is too hard now, just on the verge of bruising if he’s not careful, but he just doesn’t have any mental resources left to bother with it.

His mind is just a blur of _fuck, good, more, tight_ , and he’s not sure his mouth isn’t running over with these thoughts as it is.

Even looks just as lost as Isak feels.

Even slides his legs out to the side as he lowers himself and Isak has to touch so he finally releases Even’s waist to slide his hands down until they’re resting at the top of his thighs. It’s hard to get a proper hold, they’re so slippery with oil, but Isak keeps trying, keeps wanting to hold on to Even here.

The sounds pouring from Even is making it hard for Isak to hold back. He just wants to push Even down, wants his dick inside him completely so bad that his toes start to curl, there’s just no other outlet.

Once Even meets Isak’s hips, once Isak’s as far inside of Even he can go, Even stays there. Puts his arms on Isak’s chest, eyes closed, just breathing. It doesn’t look like he’s hurting, and Isak knows that he sometimes prefers this. To just sit there and get used to the feeling of having a dick in his ass, how Isak stretches him, and Isak doesn’t mind.

The pressure on his dick is so good, is just right. He’s happy that Even’s weight is keeping him down, or else it would be impossible for him not to move.

Even opens his eyes, looks right at Isak, and then he starts to move his hips punching all air out of Isak’s lungs.

At first, it’s slow sensual rolls of his hips like he’s still getting used to the feeling, but it doesn’t take long before he’s sliding back and forward, making Isak’s dick move inside of him in a way that makes Isak clench his teeth. He’s so far inside of Even, so deep that it feels like he’s disappearing inside and it’s so fucking good.

His hands keep sliding on Even’s thighs, it’s just not possible for him to find purchase there, but he keeps trying, keeps wanting to use that grip to push Even down onto him.

Even bites his lip, but keeps his eyes on Isak and Isak can’t understand how he can. How he’s not just as affected, how his lids aren’t fluttering. Isak is fighting a losing battle trying to keep his open. Knows that Even prefers seeing his reactions, loves when they can have sex like this.

And he wants to give Even everything, wants to be the best he can for Even.

Just then Even lifts up, uses his thighs to raise himself up, making Isak’s dick slide inside of him in a very interesting way, makes the muscles under Isak’s hands bulge, makes Isak moan and finally clench his eyes to what he knows is coming.

Even doesn’t let Isak pull too far out of him before he lowers himself again. And then he does it again, and it’s much gentler and easy than Isak would have been able to do if the roles were reversed. And Isak will never get over this, how controlled Even can still be, even if it’s obvious he’s falling apart on Isak’s dick.

But sometimes, most times, this is exactly what Even needs. Needs the control, needs to keep himself back, needs to draw it out and not lose himself completely in it, and Isak doesn’t care. He just can’t care when Even is making him feel this good, is giving him so much pleasure in the way that he clenches his hole around Isak’s dick with every downstroke.

Isak is sweating under the oil covering his body, feels overwhelmed in the best of ways. He wants to give Even what he needs, so he stays as still as he possibly can, just lets Even decide how fast and how far. Like he prefers when he’s like this.

The hands on his chest disappear, as Even starts leaning back, until they return on his thighs. And Even is a fucking perfect sight like this.

The way he’s leaning back puts his body on display, makes every lean muscle stand out, makes all that skin available to Isak’s eyes.

It’s addictive how good Even looks like this. Slick and glistening and like everything that Isak could ever wish for. He doesn’t pause to think about it, he just lets his hands slide away from the hold on Even’s thighs up his stomach up his chest, lifts his own body enough that he can pinch at Even’s nipples. Even moans at it, starts moving faster and Isak lets his eyes roam the lean body presented to him.

His one hand stays on Even’s nipple and the other slowly slides back down his body until Isak can get a good hold on his dick. And it’s so warm under his touch, so wet and easy to stroke with all the oil covering it. It feels so good that he can’t stay up anymore, lies down and has to let go of Even’s nipple.

The hand on his dick punches a groan out of Even and makes him move a little bit faster.

Even’s head is thrown back like he’s completely absorbed by what his body is doing, how good he’s feeling and Isak has to bite his lips to stay still. His feet are working the towels under him, are rucking them up, making a mess out of their bed, but he’s having trouble getting rid of all the tension in him. He wants to hold on to Even, keep him down on his dick, wants to push his hips up into him as far as he can go.

“Even, fuck, come on,” he says without knowing what exactly he’s asking for. He just needs something more, even though this should be about Even.

It makes Even look down at him, just opens his lids enough that he can look at Isak and his eyes are glazed over, his mouth perfectly puffy, his cheeks flushed and Isak has never wanted anything more in his life.

He can’t keep still anymore.

The first thrust of his hips catches them both by surprise, makes Even slide up his thighs, buries Isak even deeper inside of Even and they moan in unison. Isak’s already thrusting again before he really takes in Even’s wide-eyed surprise, but he knows it’s the good kind of surprise. He can feel it in the added clench around his dick, how Even’s grip on his thighs turn harder that he’s absolutely fine with Isak moving.

And that’s all that Isak needs.

He spreads his legs a bit, just enough to get some proper purchase on the bed, enough that Even spreads his knees apart even more, settling him more on Isak’s dick and then Isak starts moving for real.

It’s frantic, fast and hard, skin slapping against each other, making Even wail with the stimulation and Isak’s mouth dry in seconds from how hard he’s panting. His hand has moved from Even’s chest without him even realizing it, has taken hold of his hip instead and he’s using the grip to guide Even where he wants him.

Sweat is dripping down his forehead, down his body that’s already covered in oil, he’s just so hot everywhere, but watching Even come apart on top of him just makes him heat up even further.

Even is sweating as well, hair falling down into his eyes, curling at the edges and the sounds that are pouring from his lips are adding to Isak’s desperation. It’s like Even is beyond words, beyond comprehensible sounds, it’s just a steady string of something resembling moans and curses, silent _fucks_ and what Isak presumes is his name, but he can’t be sure. Even’s isn’t really making sense anymore, seems lost in the pleasure.

Fuck. It’s almost too good, Isak can feel his orgasm hurling towards him, feels his balls pull up tight, his dick tingling and the coil in his stomach tightening even more. He’s so fucking close, too close, he really doesn’t want to come before Even.

He tightens his grip around Even, starts stroking him harder and faster, clenches his teeth and eyes against how Even’s walls flutter at that. He just needs to hold on, just needs to push through, needs Even to come so he can let go, and it almost seems like a herculean effort to hold back now.

Even leans forward, puts his mouth against Isak’s in something resembling a kiss, but is actually more the two of them breathing wetly into each other mouths. He licks at Isak’s lips, makes Isak open his mouth even more for him, their foreheads pressed against each other.

Isak opens his eyes again, but Even is too close for him to see. His blood is roaring in his ears so loudly that he almost can’t hear all the sounds Even is making now, he just feels them against his lips, pushed straight into his mouth. He slides his hand from Even’s hip up his back, over his shoulders, and takes a strong hold on Even’s neck.

“Fuck, Even. I’m so close, you got to come, I can’t…” he breathes out, almost unsure that he’s really making sense, but it makes Even speed up, makes him roll his hips even harder.

Isak’s hand is frantically stroking Even off between their bodies, he’s so fucking close, desperate for Even to come so he can let go. His hips are working to drill himself inside of Even, constantly pushing up and up, trying to get as far in as he can and the slap of skin against each other is so loud that it’s one of the few sounds Isak can actually hear with clarity.

It’s pornographic. He’s sure they must make quite the sight together like this. Is almost sorry that they don’t have a camera to record it, he just wants to watch them be together, wants to see Even.

But Even pushes himself closer to Isak, arches his back and opens himself up for Isak’s persistent fucking. There’s no direction to what Isak’s doing, no rhythm, he’s not hitting anything inside of Even on purpose, he just can’t. His mind is completely scrambled, he’s just holding on to Even for dear life, trying to prolong the inevitable long enough that he’s not the first one coming.

Normally Even has these signs that he’s close and Isak is searching for them like crazy, but he can’t feel any shivers, can’t hear the high-pitched sounds, can’t feel Even desperately grip onto him.

“Isak, I don’t know if I can, I’m…” Even says, like he’s trying to explain, and it makes Isak open his eyes, makes him push his head down into the pillow to create enough distance that he can see Even.

Isak has to swallow hard at the sight that meets him. Even looks fucking wrecked, like he’s almost too far gone and Isak moans at the sight, feels his dick pulse inside of Even just from how fucking perfect Even looks.

Even is looking at him, but Isak’s not sure he’s seeing anything. His eyes are half-lidded, his tongue peeking out through his teeth and Isak wants so badly. He’s not sure what to do, because he can see that Even is almost too far gone, but he wants Even to come more than life itself.

He takes the hand off his neck, slides it back down his back, pauses briefly on his lower back, before sliding down further, and he shuffles his body so that his fingers can find what they’re looking for.

The feel of his dick disappearing inside of Even is almost too much. His rim feels puffy and hot under the pads of Isak’s fingers, but he stays there, runs his fingers over it, adds to Even’s pleasure and the way Even’s eyes suddenly seem to find focus as he’s looking at him, as he seems to be able to catch up with his mind makes Isak feel incredibly smug.

Like sometimes he really knows Even, knows just what to do to make Even feel everything. It’s addictive, this feeling.

And then he leans up and kisses Even as he adds pressure on Even’s rim and Even immediately turns slack-mouthed. The pressure around Isak’s dick turns incredibly tight and Isak feels Even’s dick pulse in his hand, feels the wetness on his stomach from Even coming.

Isak swallows up his sounds, swallows up Even’s surprise, as he clearly wasn’t expecting to come already, and lets himself enjoy the fact that he could push Even to orgasm that easily, that fast. It’s the best feeling in the world, and ultimately, it’s what pushes Isak over the edge as well.

With one last vicious shove he pushes himself as deep inside of Even he can get and then he starts shooting. As his dick empties inside of Even, his skin is tingling, pleasure radiating from his balls and dick filling every crevice of him and he lets himself disappear inside it. Lets it overtake him, lets his body completely be in control, his mind almost forgotten. Everything just feels so good, so much. His sweat and oil-slick skin just so sensitive that each point of contact is adding to the pressure inside of him.

He convulses against Even as much as he can with Even’s weight keeping him down and even when he’s done he keeps moving a bit, just slow, steady rolls of his hips, just feeling the slick tension of his dick still inside of Even.

It’s glorious.

He keeps his fingers on Even’s rim, feels how it’s working under his fingers, slowly relaxing as Even starts kissing him and his mind is desperately trying to reboot so he can return the kiss.

Even’s forehead is rolling against his, almost like he’s shaking his head and Isak has to see. He opens his eyes, looks straight into Even’s, even though he’s almost too close. But there’s something about seeing the colors of his eyes this close, something about how he’s looking at Isak that makes him lose his breath all over again.

Isak finally stops moving, except his chest that’s still working to get enough air into his lungs and he lets himself just watch.

And Even is saying so much with his eyes. So much with just the way he’s looking at Isak. It makes Isak swallow hard, steals his words away and makes his heart too large for his chest.

He doesn’t have to say it, Isak knows anyway.

Even puts his lips on Isak’s, just lets their lips rub against each other and Isak feels it in his toes. It amazes him how much Even can say with so little. How much meaning he’s able to put into even the smallest of touches. And although Isak is still way too hot in his skin he can feel himself flush all over again.

He puts his arms around Even, takes his hand away from Even’s dick, doesn’t care that it’s wet with cum. He just needs to hold him, just needs to feel him against him.

Needs to feel grounded in Even’s love.

And even though Even’s saying it with touch and look, Isak has to say it with words. He holds him close until he can get his mouth to work, to make his mind put together words again and then he whispers into the small distance between them.

“I love you too.”

And he’s never meant anything more in his entire life.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G is for glide.
> 
> I hope you feel like the wait has been worth it!! :)
> 
> If you’re interested, I’ve done meta on A and S on my tumblr, you can find it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169233046329/12-so-i-loved-your-metapost-about-isak-and) and [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/168616459124/ughh-that-was-absolutely-fantastic-i-did-not). I have a few more requests for meta in my inbox waiting to be written, and I honestly think it’s so much fun to do. So, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask me! :)


	12. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, do you guys even realize how awesome you are? You’ve given this story more than 1000 kudos and I’m just so happy and grateful. You know I love writing for you guys right?? Thank you for all the love. Best fandom. <3 <3
> 
> Maugurt is back and has betaed this for me. You’ve been sorely missed, bb (even though Immy did a great job with G… ;))
> 
> You know the drill, the letter is explained in the endnotes if you can’t wait, and without further ado, I hope you enjoy. :)

”Even!” Isak giggles. _Giggles_.

He feels ridiculous and can’t really imagine anything good coming from this, but he does what Even asks of him anyway. They’re both naked, which should be promising in itself. It’s just weird, that’s all, having Even’s junk in his face like this.

“Just lie still, let me just…” Even says, bends over even more to grab Isak’s waist. His head is really close to Isak’s junk as well, but it’s just not sexy. Isak can feel his erection deflate a bit.

Even tightens his grip and then rolls them over so he’s at the bottom and Isak laughs at the sudden movement. It’s not graceful, but it gets the job done and Isak settles into the position by spreading his legs.

“Okay, hang on,” Even says, laughter bubbling in his words like he’s trying to hold it back and it makes Isak tighten his lips to keep his own laughter in.

Even starts sitting up, and Isak can tell he’s struggling. It makes him hold onto Even tighter, almost too tight, but he’s still not sure what’s to come of this. Even shuffles under him, exhales roughly with the exertion of his muscles, and once Isak realizes that he’s trying to sit up, he helps him along, takes some of the strain of trying to sit up with a grown man in his arms. Together, they manage to get Even to sit up with Isak hanging upside down, his legs over Even’s shoulders, and then he tries to stand up on shaking legs.

“Fuck, Even!” Isak exclaims loudly, not really giggling anymore. He’s clinging onto Even for dear life, scared of being dropped on his head.

Even has his arms around Isak’s waist and he’s holding on so tightly that Isak can barely breathe from it. It seems that even though Even is using all his strength, Isak is still slowly sliding down Even’s body anyway.

“Shit, you’re heavy!” Even exclaims with a rough exhale and that’s what finally cracks Isak up.

He starts laughing, losing his own strength with it, and soon, he can feel Even shake with it as well, trying to keep it in. The slide down Even’s body happens faster now that they’re both laughing and when Isak reaches the floor with his head he falls to the side in a controlled roll and lies there clutching his stomach, laughing harder than he has in a long time.

Even sits down on the bed and laughs with him, looks at him in that way he does when Isak really laughs, when he lets go and it’s loud and makes his eyes wet. There’s a kind of wonder in Even’s eyes that makes Isak feel all sorts of things, but mostly, somehow astounded that Even can feel like that about him.

Once the laughter tapers off, he rolls over on the floor, gets up on his elbows and rests his chin on his hand.

“Should we try that again?” he asks and loves the way that Even just puts out his hand to him, grinning so hard his eyes almost close.

As Isak gets up from the floor with his hand in Even’s, Even stands up as well.

“I don’t think I can carry you,” he says and Isak could’ve told him that beforehand. Even is many things, among one of the most beautiful men Isak has ever laid eyes on, but he’s not buff, and he’s just not as strong as Isak.

“Let me try,” Isak says, still smiling.

Even smiles back and puts his arms out in a dramatic move.

“So if you haven’t guessed it, V is for vertical 69.”

It punches another laugh out of Isak because of course Even would think of something like this. He’s kind of surprised that he hasn’t done it earlier.

“Vertical 69?” he asks amused, not sure that he really understands.

“Yeah, like I was supposed to hold you up and we would suck each other off.”

And Even looks so cute the way he’s standing there, looking like he’s had the best idea when it’s clearly not. But Isak lives for indulging Even, knows that sometimes very good things come out of doing that, and who’s to say this won’t be one of those times.

 “Is that the only way to do it?” he asks instead of going with his first instinct, which is to tell Even that this will never work.

“No, I guess not. I saw this video of two guys doing it and it looked so easy. One just flips the other while they’re standing.”

And he looks so hopeful and smiley and Isak can’t help but smile back fondly.

“Okay. Let’s try that instead,” he says and takes a step closer to Even. “But let me do the lifting this time, okay?”

Even snorts and he looks so cute doing it, so surprised by it himself that it makes Isak laugh all over again.

“Stop! I can’t when I’m laughing, you know that,” Isak says. His voice is strained from fighting the laughter, and even though he tries hard, it’s just under the surface, like the bare minimum would make it break free from him.  

Even puts a hand over his mouth to hide his wide smile, a muffled _sorry_ slipping through his fingers, but his eyes are still scrunched up and there’s just no hiding that he’s still very amused by this.

Isak shakes out his body, tries to get rid of the laugh as he gets really weak from it. And then he bends over sideways, grabs hold of Even’s waist and waits until Even has done the same to him.

“Ready?” he asks and as soon as he hears the _yes_ from Even, he bends his knees and starts to lift Even.

Even is fucking heavy. Isak is puffing out his cheeks with the strain, all the muscles in his body tight and used to maximum capacity, but soon, Even’s feet are being lifted from the floor and his long legs are flailing around in the air.

“Keep still!” Isak’s voice is labored, his teeth clenched. He’s using all his focus on maintaining the grip on Even’s waist, on his straining muscles that are already shaking from how hard they’re working. He can’t really see how it’s at all possible for them to do this long enough to get off, especially since neither of them are really hard anymore.

Even makes a _whoa_ -kind of sound as he clings onto Isak’s ass and it seems that the swell of it is helping in keeping Even up, stopping his arms from sliding down further. Finally, Even is up high enough that he can put his legs on Isak’s shoulders, and his dick is right there, right in front of Isak’s mouth. But there’s just no way Isak can unclench his teeth enough to actually get it in there, he can’t even figure out how to open his mouth enough to speak.

When Even kisses Isak’s flaccid dick, just a peck, he gets so surprised that he loses his grip on Even. It’s just for a short second, but the damage is done and Even starts to slide down Isak’s body the same way Isak just did and Even starts shaking under his arms, like he’s fighting hard to keep in laughter.

It makes Isak smile, makes him press his lips further together to keep it from erupting, makes him start to lose the strength in his arms.

“Stop it!” he says, voice shaking from holding back and that’s what apparently does it for Even.

“Sorry!” he laughs, and this time he doesn’t stop, gives himself over to it and it’s loud and freeing and Isak loves it, he does, but it’s so contagious and he’s afraid to drop Even on his head.

“Shit, I can’t hold you anymore!”

He’s losing tension in his arms really fast and it’s almost enough to make him serious. He really doesn’t want to hurt Even.

But Even puts his arms to the floor, helps Isak control the slide down, until he’s on his head laughing so hard that Isak can barely hold it back himself.

Even rolls onto his back, knocking one of the chairs over as he does, and Isak is done for all over again. He bends over, hands on his thighs as he laughs harder than he ever remembers doing.

Once they’re done, once the laughter has finally died down, they’re lying on the bed, side by side, looking at each other. It’s taken a while to get them here. The laughter took a long time before it tapered off and it felt so good and freeing and they just kept on setting each other off.

Isak feels better than he has in a long time, his body sore from use and from laughter, endorphins flowing in his blood. They’re just lying there smiling at each other, waiting for the other one to talk.

It’s Even who breaks the silence.

“So that was a bust.”

But Isak shakes his head. “Nah. I really needed a good laugh.”

And that makes Even’s smile widen. “Yeah?” Isak nods. Even puts his hand on Isak’s cheek, starts playing with the curls by his ear, knows just what to do to make Isak melt. “I’m sorry about the letter though.”

“Is it over?”

Even sighs, but this time it’s not amused. “Well. I had a really hard time trying to come up with something for V. Until I saw this. I don’t really have anything else planned.”

Isak hums and tries to think of what to say to make Even feel better. But then he remembers. He gets up on his elbow making Even’s hand slide down from his cheek.

“I might have something we can do instead,” he smiles and then gets out of bed completely.

Even gets up on his elbow as well, smiles at him confused as Isak goes to the closet and digs in the back of it where he knows he’s hidden the bag. He pulls it out and tries to shield it from Even’s curious eyes with his body as he digs through it.

“What do you have there?” Even asks and Isak can hear how he sits up further in the bed behind him.

“Aha!” he says as he pulls out the thing he was looking for and takes care to put the bag away before he turns around to show Even.

“What’s that?” Even asks looking at the box Isak is holding.

“It’s a vibrator.”

Even breaks out in a smile, his eyes gleaming with interest as Isak joins him on the bed. He watches Isak start to dig through the layers of plastic wrapped around the box, and his smile turns fond as Isak curses the engineers who design the packagings so badly that they’re almost impossible to open (Isak swears there’s a special place in hell for these people), and then he distracts Isak by talking.

“What else do you have in that bag?”

Isak smirks, can’t help it, loves how casual Even’s trying to sound but how impossible it is for him to hide his curiosity.

“I’m not telling you,” Isak starts, but gets interrupted by the incredulous sound Even makes. “But let’s just say that I spent so much money in that shop that we’ll be eating pasta and ketchup for the next two months.”

He glances at Even as he’s said it and the way Even looks back at him makes it all worth it. He’ll eat fucking porridge every day if it makes Even look like that. Happy and smiley and infatuated. Like he can’t believe his luck. Isak’s not sure what his own face is doing, but it must be something good because Even’s smile widens at it.

Isak finally manages to tear through the plastic and opens the box. He digs out the vibrator and shows it to Even. He puts in the batteries, and tells him about the settings and the mechanics of it, just like the lady at the shop explained to him and Isak doesn’t think he’s ever seen Even this focused before.

When he’s done he holds it out to Even. “You want to do it?”

Even takes it carefully, looks at Isak like he can’t quite believe it. “Can I?”

It makes Isak huff out a laugh and he can’t help but lean into Even, can’t help but place a lingering kiss on his lips.

“It’s your letter, isn’t it?” he says in a low voice, so close to Even that he almost misses the way Even’s pupils dilate at the sound of it.

“Fuck yeah.”

As Isak lies down on the bed, he’s already getting hard, and it’s easy to see that Even’s also getting there while he’s digging through the drawer in the bedside table.

“I’m pretty sure there’s at least one left in here,” he says and continues. “We’ll have to remember to buy some more if you have more toys in that bag of yours.”

He smiles at Isak with raised eyebrows, like he’s trying to get Isak to spill the beans, but Isak just raises his own eyebrows right back.

“Yeah, or for us to be able to use this again some other time.”

Even’s responding huff is amused and then he seems to find the condom he was looking for. He makes quick work of rolling it on the vibrator and then slicks it up with lube.

When he’s done and it’s ready, he looks at Isak who smiles and immediately spreads his legs for Even, puts his feet on the duvet.

“Like this?” he asks and Even wiggles his eyebrows at him, looks so pleased and happy that Isak feels his chest tightening. Fuck, he’s so gone for this man.

“That’s good, but I’d rather you take hold of your legs.”

Isak resists the urge to say _yes sir_ to tease Even a bit and does what he says instead. His body is curled in on itself, his legs pressed hard into his chest, opening him up and showing him off to Even. He’s starting to realize that Even has a thing for him in this position. Maybe it’s the vulnerability of it, or the way it renders him useless, hands and legs occupied so he has no choice but to lie there. He doesn’t quite know, but honestly, he doesn’t really care. He’ll do whatever, as long as Even keeps looking at him like that. Like he’s just been awarded some kind of price.

Even crawls up the bed until he gets close enough to Isak that he can lean over him and kiss him. Isak raises his head up into the kiss, wants to keep Even there as he slips him his tongue, getting the mood from before back.

Even stays there, massages his tongue with his, coaxes a few moans out of Isak, just enough that Isak is almost ready to let go of his legs so he can pull Even down on top of him, and just then, he feels a slick finger at his rim.

Even takes his time with it, rubs Isak’s rim again and again with his fingers, makes it wet with lube and it feels like he’s touching every nerve there. It’s making Isak flush, just the idea of what’s about to come is making him squirm under Even’s touch, and Isak can feel Even smiling against his mouth.

Isak is just about to lose patience, is just about to pull back to tell Even to get on with it, when Even pushes a long finger into him, just slides it in quickly and with such confidence that Isak can take it that it punches all the air out of Isak’s lungs. And of course he can take it, he just bears down, enjoys how fucking good Even’s finger feels in him, how the twist of it makes his knuckle rub against his rim and he flushes with it.

Isak is already good for another one, tries to tell Even that with the roll of his hips and Even thankfully seems to sense it on him. He adds another finger and it rubs Isak in all the right ways, makes his dick twitch and his fingers turn white from how hard he’s grabbing his legs.

The vibrator really isn’t that big, so two fingers should be more than enough, but Even keeps pumping his fingers into Isak, seems to lose himself in it a bit, and even though it feels good, like _really_ good, Isak is slowly losing patience. After a glance over his prostate with one of Even’s fingers, he can’t help but make an irritated sound, annoyed that Even’s not moving faster and that makes Even pull back from the kiss.

“Yeah?” he asks and Isak nods eagerly, just so ready for more.

Even has his fingers out of Isak in no time, and he pulls back all the way to sit on his hunches. And then he turns the vibrator on.

The sound alone makes Isak sweat, just a wave of heat that breaks out all over his skin and makes his hair curl and the grip on his thighs a bit harder to maintain.

Even’s eyes flick from the vibrator to Isak and he smiles a devious smile when he notices how affected Isak already is.

Isak is waiting for him to say something, something really dorky and corny, like _oh this is going to be fun_ , but to Isak’s surprise he doesn’t, he just lowers the vibrator in a quick move and puts it on Isak’s perineum.

Isak’s entire body jumps from it. That kind of stimulation on the skin there just makes all the hair on Isak’s body stand up and his head slump back into the pillow.

“Fuck, Even,” he moans, already overtaken by how _good_ that feels, just that small pressure that puts sensation everywhere in the surrounding area.

Even doesn’t say anything back, just puts his hand gently on Isak’s thigh as he starts running the vibrator over the skin, adding to the mass of sensations running through Isak. It’s so different from anything else he’s ever tried, so _good_ , and he just wants more.

He’s not sure his mouth will work properly anymore as he’s clenching his teeth, but he wants to tell Even to do _more_ , and thankfully Even does anyway. He slides it down slowly, getting closer and closer to where Isak wants it, until he reaches Isak’s rim.

Involuntarily, Isak pulls at his thighs, makes his hips lift even more from the duvet and opens him up further to Even. Even makes a pleased sound that Isak can just hear over the hum of the vibrator and then he starts running the vibrator along the edges of Isak’s rim.

There’s just so much feeling there. The vibrations are making all the nerves fire all at once and Isak’s panting in seconds, can feel his dick twitch and drops of precum leaking from it.

Even keeps it up, puts pressure on the vibrator so that the vibrations can be felt even harder before he releases the pressure again and the vibrator is just gently teasing along Isak’s rim.

Isak is _dying_. In the best of ways.

He’s having trouble getting enough air into his lungs, every time Even puts pressure on it, he stops breathing, totally overcome by how fucking exceptional that feels, and it’s not even _inside_ Isak yet.

But then Even turns it off, without warning, without anything, just shuts it off and Isak deflates immediately. Just lies there, panting and he slowly opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling, but he’s not really looking.

He’s already so close, just from what Even was doing, that he can’t imagine just how he’ll survive with the toy inside of him, and just as he’s thinking that, Even pushes the vibrator past his rim, all the way inside him. He doesn’t hesitate, knows that Isak can take it, and Isak flushes at the sound that punches out of him, a mix between a groan and a curse, low in his throat and he closes his eyes to it.

Even starts fucking him with it, twists it so Isak will really be able to feel it as it slides over his rim and Isak almost can’t stand the anticipation, the insecurity of not knowing when he’ll turn it on.

The grip he has on his thighs just gets harder and harder as Even continues to fuck him with the vibrator, makes his dick tingle and his balls pull up, but he’s still some way from coming. He clenches around the toy, lets himself feel the stretch of it and how delicious the slide inside of him feels.

He barely notices Even’s other hand starting to move, just slowly sliding down his thigh, to his hip, to his dick, where he proceeds to put his hand over the tip of it, just smears all the wetness there around, and then he uses that to ease the slide up and down Isak’s dick.

Fuck. It’s just right, just the perfect amount of pressure and speed, designed to push him closer to orgasm fast, but not too fast. Even knows just how to do this to Isak by now, and it makes Isak feel so safe in his hands. The fact that Even knows him that much, that he knows just what to do to him to make him fall apart, but in a good way.

Even tightens his grip around Isak’s dick, it’s sudden and hard and Isak moans at it, curses out a _fuck_ and then before he can relax into the steady stroking Even goes back to, Even turns on the vibrator.

Everything in Isak tightens. Every muscle clenches, and it’s both so fucking good and almost too much how hard he’s clamping down on the vibrator inside of him. How it just makes all the vibrations feel like that much more and he’s instantly lost to it.

He’s making sounds he’s pretty sure he’s never made before, his toes are curling hard in the air and his head is thrown back in the pillow, eyes shut. He just can’t stand more stimulation than all the sensation he’s getting from the vibrator.

He can hear Even moan at his reaction, can feel him shuffle on the bed, moving a bit closer to him, so close that his dick glances over his thigh from time to time and even that small touch is bordering on too much.

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” Isak chants, his mind so scrambled he’s not even really sure whether he’s saying it or is just thinking it.

Even starts stroking him faster at the same time as he starts gently fucking into Isak with the vibrator and just like that, Isak is much, much closer to coming. He’s never tried anything like it, never experienced something so mind-numbing before, how his body just takes over and dictates everything. He has no say in it, just has to let go and let his body do what it wants to do, and it’s such a freeing feeling.

He just barely has time to give himself over to it, to embrace the freedom that entails, before Even pushes the vibrator over Isak’s prostate and that’s game over for Isak.

It’s almost like an out of body experience, coming with all those vibrations in his ass. Even stops moving the minute Isak starts shooting and that puts the toy right over Isak’s prostate and Isak shouts at the feeling.

It’s fucking… all-encompassing, like every rope of cum that’s pushed from his body is ripped from him in the best of ways, like his body isn’t sure if it wants to give it up as that will make the sensation stop eventually. He pulls even more at his thighs, feels how his entire body is shaking, how shivers are running over his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and it’s just so much.

The pressure doesn’t let up, the vibrator just keeps sending sensation into his body through his prostate, and even though Isak is already shooting, it feels different this time. It’s like his orgasm isn’t really happening as much in his dick and balls as it usually does, this time it’s like it’s radiating from his prostate out into the rest of the body, filling him out, taking over and it’s gentle and not at all the violent kind of orgasm he usually has. It just goes on and on, doesn’t really stop, and even though there should be nothing more to give, his balls keep on churning more and more come out.

It doesn’t seem like it’s about to stop by itself, almost seems like he’ll just continue coming as long as Even keeps the vibrator there, but Isak can’t really stand it anymore. He’s just on the verge of being too overwhelmed by all the sensations in him, of how intense it is and he tries to tell Even.

He makes some kind of sound, his mouth and tongue not really working properly, but Even seems to catch the meaning of it as he turns the vibrator off and slowly starts pulling it out. Isak hasn’t even noticed how Even’s hand’s not on his dick anymore, but he can still feel drops of cum leak out of him, fall down onto his stomach.

He lies there, feels how the euphoria of the orgasm rushes through him like waves, fills every nook and cranny in him and he’s trying to catch his breath. He slowly starts peeling his fingers off his thighs, slowly lets go of the grip he has on them, and he immediately feels the blood flow back into his fingers, leaving pins and needles behind.

Once he releases his grip on them, his legs fall down onto the bed listlessly, bouncing on the mattress, but he just doesn’t care.

He finally opens his eyes to find Even looking down at him and he’s smiling so hard that Isak smiles back immediately.

“Isak. That was perfect!” he says and then leans down to kiss him.

Isak is barely coherent enough to kiss back, but he tries his best. He’s still so lost in it that it seems all the senses are slowly coming back to him, and as soon as he starts hearing things again over the rush of blood in his ears, he hears the slick sounds of Even stroking himself.

“Are you..?” Isak starts, but his voice is shot, and his words are barely audible.

He feels Even smile against his lips, feels how hard he’s panting as he says, “You looked so good coming. It looked like the best kind of orgasm,” and Isak just barely starts to nod before he can feel Even freeze on top of him, hear him pant out _ah, ah, ah_ , and then the first spatter of cum hits his chest, almost surprising him with its warmth. He stays there, lets Even empty himself on him, lets him pant out his release against his lips and he wants to keep this moment forever.

The second Even is done, he collapses on top of Isak and Isak spreads his legs so Even can shift into place there.

He still feels so good, everything still feels so good, like every nerve in his body is still shooting, pumping him full of endorphins and he almost feels like he’s melting into the mattress.

His eyes are closed, and he notices every sound in the room, the scent of sex in the air, feels Even’s pulse against his skin and how fast Even’s breath is on top of him.

It just feels so right.

Like this is where he’s supposed to be. And he could easily fall asleep like this. With the weight of his boyfriend grounding him, keeping him there, covered in their cum, feeling so fucking fantastic that the world could end and he wouldn’t care.

“Have I made you all sleepy?” Even finally whispers into Isak’s shoulder and Isak just _hmms_ in reply, to contented to talk.

“We need to clean up before we can sleep,” he says and Isak just _hmms_ again. He can feel Even chuckle at it, can feel how much he loves it when Isak is like this. He’s stroking Isak’s hair, kisses him gently on his hairline.

“Come on,” he says and starts to get up, pulls at Isak’s arm to get him to join him. “I’ll take care of you.”

And nothing has ever sounded better to Isak than that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is for vertical 69 and vibrator. 
> 
> (that’s why I said you only kinda guessed it in the skamfiction server, but yay to Noora who guessed vibrator! Second letter in a row, you’re on a roll!! :D :D) (and yay to the anon who guessed it on tumblr this morning as well! :))
> 
> Krumme suggested the vertical 69 in a comment on chapter 1 and I knew that I would have to do it in some way. So thank you for the suggestion, I hope you’re still happy with it even though it didn’t turn out quite as Even planned… ;)
> 
> Next chapter will be the halfway there-chapter. Can you guys believe it??!! Time flies when you’re having fun… ;)
> 
> Also, incidentally, I posted some meta about the morning after A on my tumblr yesterday. If you're interested you can read it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169588141834/hiii-if-i-could-could-i-request-a-meta-on-what).


	13. U

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! I can’t even believe that this chapter is finally out because I’ve been looking forward to writing it from the start! And it’s something that a lot of you have asked for, so I hope you enjoy! ;)
> 
> Once again, I kinda killed Maugurt a little bit with this while she was betaing, but in the best of ways, she assured me… xD
> 
> If you can’t wait the word is described in the end notes.
> 
> So. Here. Have some Friday smut, my peeps! :)

Isak wakes up to small kisses on his face, pecks on his eyes, cheeks, forehead. Everywhere but his mouth. He _hmm_ s and pouts enough that he hopes Even will get the idea, that he wants a kiss, but instead Even just rests his lips on Isak’s cheek and says “Goodmorning.”

It makes Isak open his eyes so he can look at Even. As it always does.

He shoots back something resembling a _goodmorning_ and it makes Even smile at him fondly. As it always does.

Once Isak’s had his proper morning kisses, he finally gets out of bed to shower. Although Even did a good job of cleaning him up last night, he still feels sticky.

It’s Wednesday and his Wednesdays are always a bit shitty. He won’t get out of school until late and Even won’t get out of work until even later, so he’s the one who makes sure there’s dinner ready when Even gets home. And for some reason, they always forget to do the groceries for enough days that he won’t have to do that as well, so Wednesdays just aren’t his favorite days.

Even makes it up for him the best he can, makes sure that there’s a bowl of cereal and a fresh cup of coffee waiting for him as Isak’s done showering and getting dressed, and he loves sitting there at their small table, which barely has room for the both of them, legs intertwining underneath it.

As they eat, Even pulls out the bag of letters and gives it to Isak. He puts his hand in and can’t help but notice how few letters there are left, and it gives him a weird feeling. He’s happy because this game has been so much fun, and has brought them so much closer, but he’s sad for the exact same reasons. He just wants this to continue forever.

When he pulls out and reads the letter, he knows what he wants to do immediately. It’s so rare for him to have this feeling, this certainty, but there’s just no way this letter can be anything else. Especially because of the plans they have for Friday.

“U,” he says and shows it to Even.

“U. That’s another hard one,” Even says and eats a spoonful of cereal.

“No. I know exactly what to do with this.”

He enjoys Even’s surprised raised eyebrow. It’s a good feeling to be the one with all the plans for once.

\--||--

That Friday he’s studying with Sana after classes are over, and they’re in the middle of going over the Krebs cycle when Isak’s phone starts going off with incoming messages.

At first, he ignores it, they’re on the lasts steps and will be done soon, but his phone keeps dinging and when that has happened for the 4th or 5th time, Sana shoots him an angry look.

“Either read it or put in on silent,” she says and goes back to her notes.

Isak sighs annoyed and swipes his phone to read them. They’re all from Even, all of them asking where he is.

“Fuck,” he curses, looks at the time and he’s so late. He’s been so absorbed in studying that he’s lost all sense of time.

Sana is looking at her own phone, eyebrows raised as she notices the time as well.

“I got to go,” Isak says, already starting to pick things up to throw them in his bag.

Sana joins him but packs up in a more controlled way. “Are you going out tonight?” she asks as she puts her books in her bag.

Isak nods as he throws in the last of his notes. “Yes. Shit, I was supposed to be there half an hour ago.”

He’s so annoyed with himself, he had _plans_ for this night goddammit. Now he’s not sure if he has time for carrying them out as he wanted to.

He’s absentmindedly scooting the rest of his stuff on the table down into his bag as he continues, “I’m meeting Even for a Friday bar at UiO.” He stops to tighten the strings on his back. “Your brother invited us.”

Sana nods and smiles at him. “You better be prepared for them being drunk by now. Elias tends to go a little bit overboard at those things.”

Isak senses some tension there but doesn’t have time to ask, desperately needs to get a move on. He mutters goodbye with all his attention already on his phone, answering Even.

_I’m on my way, bby <3                             _

\--||--

Isak finds the building pretty fast once he gets to campus, and he follows the noise to a door to the basement with a Friday Bar sign on it. He stands there indecisively, suddenly nervous now that he’s here, whether he can actually follow through with his plans. It’s not until his phone dings with another incoming message from Even again, that he decides to go inside.

It’s warm inside, he’s sweating in his coat almost immediately and he opens it as he looks around for Even and the others. He finds them sitting around a table in the back, being loud and obnoxious as usual. He greets them, gets a kiss from Even as he sits down.

In no time, there’s a beer in front of him and he’s absorbed by their conversation. Without meaning to, he kind of just forgets about his _other_ plans for tonight.

At some point, Even gets up from the table, and Isak doesn’t really think about it, is busy laughing hard at something Elias just said. Even comes back and leans in over Elias, and Isak strains to hear what he’s saying.

“The toilet’s completely full and I really need to go. Can I borrow your student card so I can use the one upstairs?” Even asks and Elias acts like it’s no big deal, just hands over his card to Even.

And just like that Isak remembers. He gets up far too fast, making everybody around the table stop talking to look at him and he can’t help but flush at the attention.

“I need to go too, can I go with you?” he asks, tries to be really inconspicuous about it, but the smirks the rest of the guys give each other lets him know that he completely botched that.

“Sure,” Even says with a small smile playing on his lips and he nods his head towards the exit to show Isak to follow which he does.

He hadn’t noticed how packed this place had gotten before now. He’s squeezing through the crowd, trying to follow Even without losing him, but Even waits for him, takes his hand and leads them out of there.

It’s almost like a slap in the face going outside, with how cold it is. They’re both too overheated from being inside that basement and Even tightens his grip on Isak’s hand and pulls him towards the front entrance.

“Come on, it’s just over here,” he mutters and pulls his shoulders up as if to protect himself from the biting wind.

Even quickly opens the door with a swipe of the student card, like he’s done it plenty of times before, and they step inside. It’s so quiet here, warm, but less so than the basement, and Even wastes no time walking down a corridor to his right.

It’s clear from how hurried he is that he really has to go, so when they get to the door with the toilet signs on top of it, Isak hangs back.

“I’ll just wait for you here,” he says and Even turns around to face him.

“You don’t have to use the bathroom?”

Isak shakes his head, can feel his face flushing from thinking about the real reason for why he came with Even, but he says, “No. I just needed a little break.”

Even nods, like that’s somehow reasonable, or something Isak normally does, which actually surprises Isak a bit, before he turns around and disappears into the toilets.

Once Isak is alone, he starts to notice that they’re not completely by themselves. He can see that the lights are still on in some of the offices in the corridor, with people probably working late, and that knowledge makes him flush even more.

He’s standing with his back to the toilets, looking out the window, lost in his own thoughts of how to do this, when Even puts his arms around him from behind. It startles Isak, pulls him away from his thoughts and Even whispers, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Isak quickly turns around in his arms and before Even can say anything more, can pull him back down the corridor to go back to the guys, he kisses Even.

It’s a bit rough, a bit forced and Even chuckles a little, making the kiss not quite what Isak had in mind. But Isak isn’t deterred, knows what he wants, and he knows that Even is easily persuaded when Isak really sets his mind to it.

So he fists Even’s hoodie, uses that grip to pull him in and then he tilts his head in a way that makes it easier for him to deepen the kiss.

It makes Even stop chuckle, makes him take a step into Isak’s body, makes him puts his hands on Isak’s face.

Isak ups the ante by moaning into Even’s mouth, tightening his grip on the hoodie and Even’s hands leaves Isak’s face only to reappear on his hips. Even is pushing at him, just a bit, but Isak goes willingly, lets himself be pushed backwards until his back hits the window behind him and he sits down in the windowsill and spreads his legs for Even.

Even fits there. Between his legs, lips on his, hands strong on his hips. It’s already so good. The windowsill is just the right height for them to kiss, for Isak not to get a sore neck from the angle. He deepens the kiss, swallows Even’s groan, loves how Even’s one hand slides down from his hips, down his body until he grabs hold of Isak’s thigh and lifts it a bit, making better room for himself between Isak’s legs.

Isak could stay like this forever, is this close to losing himself in how good Even feels against him, until he remembers why they’re there.

He pulls back from Even, just enough that they’re not kissing anymore and now he uses his grip on Even’s hoodie to push him back a bit. Even looks at him with raised eyebrows, confused as to why Isak would push him away, but Isak just smiles at him and slides down from the windowsill.

“Come on,” he says in a low voice, looks at Even in that way that he knows drives Even crazy, in the good way, and then he walks away from Even.

Even follows without questioning, must sense that Isak has something planned for them, and Isak loves that. As he opens the door to the toilets, he’s pretty sure that Even must’ve realized what he has in mind, but he doesn’t turn back around to check. It’s not that he’s worried about Even’s reaction as such, he’s just so fucking excited that he gets to try this. Gets to do this with Even. It’s been a fantasy of his for a long, long time. Probably even before he really admitted to himself just how gay he was.

He opens the door to one of the stalls and goes inside, waits for Even with the door open and doesn’t glance up at him until he’s inside too. Isak dips his chin, looks at him through his eyelashes, and then very deliberately closes the door behind them and locks it.

“Here?” Even asks, and Isak just nods and takes a step closer to Even.

He’s so hard now, so ready for more. He just really wants Even’s lips on him. The lights in the bathroom are bright enough to show just how eager Even is too, how his pupils are blown and he’s licking his lips like he does when he’s excited.

Fuck. Even’s so into this as well, Isak just can’t wait any longer. He takes a long step right into Even and crashes his lips to Even’s. He pushes his tongue into his mouth and Even opens to him eagerly. He feels Even’s moans against his lips and he pushes Even into the wall, takes even more control of the kiss.

His hands are everywhere on Even, sliding up his sides, kneading his ass, grabbing his hips, pulling him closer. He has a leg between Even’s and is grinding against Even’s hip, already leaking and good to go.

Even’s hands are scrambling to open Isak’s pants and Isak pulls back just enough that it’s possible. Even wastes no time, just plunges his hand right down the back of Isak’s briefs and Isak arches his back to give Even more room to play there.

Even’s fingers find Isak’s hole almost right away and the feel of Even’s dry pads over his rim is making Isak flush with want.

“Fuck,” he groans, leans back from the kiss to concentrate on the sensation, on how good it feels, but Even follows him and starts kissing his neck instead.

“You really want to do it in here?” Even asks right into his ear, making goosebumps break out all over his skin there.

Isak opens his eyes, pulls back enough that he can watch Even and nods.

Even’s responding smile is blinding and a little dirty. The sight of it makes Isak’s dick twitch and he leans back in for an eager kiss, all tongue and wet lips and heat.

Even goes back to rubbing at him harder and Isak wants more, wants those fingers inside of him, so he pulls back again, reluctantly lets go of Even to start patting his pockets. He’s had it there all day in anticipation of what he wanted to happen here.

He pulls out the two small sachets of lube he got at Kondomeriet and hands them over to Even.

“You come prepared,” Even smiles but his smile falters as Isak turns around so he’s facing the wall, pushes his pants and briefs down his legs fast and arches his back as he puts his hands on the stall.

“U is for university. As in I want you to fuck me here,” he says over his shoulder, eyes on Even. He’s much bolder than he normally would be, but Even’s making it so easy for him to be, with how much he’s clearly into this as well.

Even is on him fast, covers his body from behind with his, grinds his hard dick into Isak’s ass and Isak moans and smiles smugly at the same time, is just so overwhelmingly happy with how much Even wants this too.

He hears Even tear at the sachet and then he takes a step back from Isak. The anticipation of what’s about to happen, the slick sounds coming from Even as he lubes his fingers up, coupled with how the excess lube is dripping down on his ass, is all making Isak pant with it.

He wants it so bad. Doesn’t care at all if Even decides to rush through the prep, just as long as he hurries up, gets things moving. Isak can’t wait to feel the stretch of his fingers and the even wider stretch of his dick.

Even’s fingers are back on him quickly and there’s no teasing, as there normally would be. Maybe it’s the fact they’re in a public toilet or maybe he just wants Isak just as badly, but he pushes the first finger in, just slides it all the way without warning or the usual warm-up. It makes Isak’s knees weak and makes him open his mouth to be able to accommodate just how hard that finger has made him breathe.

It feels so good. The stretch and the slide inside of him is just perfect and he wants more straight away.

Even pushes his finger as deep inside of him as he can and Isak flushes at how that makes his hand rub over his rim, skim over it in a way that makes him sweat even more and he puts his forehead on the wall, clenches his eyes shut and moans, “One more, come on,” doesn’t say _I can take it_ , is sure that his entire body is making that quite clear to Even.

Even does as he asks, and the second finger burns a bit, but in a very good way and Isak bears down, so fucking eager to get Even inside of him he just wants this part over and done with. Even immediately starts scissoring his fingers, opening Isak up for him and Isak loves it when Even is just as impatient as him.

Isak arches his back further, opens up for Even even more, making the slide inside of him easier for Even and Even puts his forehead on Isak’s neck, like he’s looking down at where his fingers are disappearing inside of Isak, and mutters a _fuck_.

Isak is so fucking desperate now, spreads his legs as much as his pants allow and starts pushing back against Even’s fingers. He’s not quite sure if he’s ready, but he still finds himself asking for another finger, feels almost frantic from the sound that punches out of Even.

Even starts talking as he adds the third, just pushes all of them inside of Isak in one long slide as he says, “You’re really into this, hm?” His voice is low and so close to Isak’s ear that he can feel them being spoken. It makes the small hair at the back of his neck stand up and makes him pant. “You really love that I’m about to fuck you in a public toilet?”

Isak nods desperately, wants to scream at him to hurry up, but he knows that that would probably make Even want to slow down instead, just to tease, and that would just be the worst thing that could happen right now.

But thankfully, just as Isak’s hands fold into fists against the wall to keep his eagerness in, Even pulls his fingers out and he hears the sound of Even opening his pants behind him. He’s never heard anything quite as good before.

He hears the other sachet being opened and the slick sounds of Even working the lube on his dick and Isak has to bite his lip to keep from begging for it. Every muscle in his body is tense, his toes already curling in his shoes, and he fights his body’s desire to move, makes himself stand still and wait for Even.

When he finally feels the tip at his hole, feels how Even lines himself up, rubs the tip over his rim a bit, he moans way too loudly for their location and arches his back just a bit more.

“Fuck, Isak. You’re so eager,” Even whispers in a voice full of wonder, like this is almost too good to be true and it makes Isak hiss out a _Come on!_ through his teeth, hoping to get Even to speed up.

It does the trick because as soon as Isak does Even starts pushing in.

Isak almost forgets to breathe at how good the breach feels, how perfect the stretch is, how goddamn amazing Even’s hard grip on his hip is, he just stands there and concentrates on bearing down, just accepting all of Even inside of him. Enjoys how his body accommodates Even, makes room for him. Isak loves it, loves it so fucking much how Even just fits inside of him.

When Even’s all the way inside him, pressed flush against his back, breath heavy against his neck, Even just stays there. Pauses and breathes and his breath is warm and humid against Isak’s neck and it’s making Isak flush even more.

He knows that Even is probably a bit overwhelmed as well, but he can’t wait for Even to pull himself together. Instead, he takes matters into his own hand, starts to move his hips in slow, sensual rolls, completely at odds with how his blood is about to boil from desperation.

Even’s grip on his hip becomes harder, his hand joins on the other side, but he’s not trying to keep Isak still. More like he’s grounding himself there, trying to stay as close to Isak as he can, and it doesn’t take more than a couple of rolls before Even starts to move with him.

As soon as he does, it turns dirty and rough. He doesn’t give Isak time to adjust, trusts that Isak enjoys it just as much as he does, and he sets off in a hard rhythm that makes their skin slap together every time he bottoms out. Every thrust punches a whimper out of Isak, too lost in the burning perfect sensation Even is providing him with, skirting that thin line of too much, but just on the right side.

And it’s making Isak’s dick weep.

He loves how rough Even is, how he trusts him to take it, loves how his breath is so loud in his ear that he almost can’t hear anything else. He puts his head back on Even’s shoulder, lets his body be completely at his mercy, lets him control the speed and the roughness. Isak’s dick is leaking, slapping against his stomach with each rough shove and it sends sparks of electricity through it, makes him roll his eyes back in his head with pleasure.

Even suddenly stops mid-thrust, puts his mouth on Isak’s neck as if to quiet himself, and says, “Shh.”

Isak is almost delirious with the change of pace, can’t believe that Even could just stop like that, just when it was getting really good and he starts to speak confusedly, “What’s…” but that’s as far as he gets before Even says _shh!_ again and puts a hand over Isak’s mouth.

Fuck.

It sets something off in Isak, makes him whimper under Even’s hand, makes his dick twitch and push out another bead of precum, so much so that Isak’s sure that it must be dripping from him now. Isak puts his hands on the one covering his mouth, but before he can do anything he hears the door to the toilets open and everything in him freezes.

It’s not like they’re really private in their toilet stall. The door doesn’t go down all the way to the floor and the walls of the stall don’t go all the way to the ceiling, so if this guy who just entered looks for it, he’ll probably notice them.

But there’s something about this, something about standing there, being muffled by his boyfriend with his dick in his ass, while the stranger is doing his business unknowingly, unsuspecting, thinking he’s alone while they’re fucking just a few meters away, that makes Isak all weak in the knees. Makes him tight all over, clench hard around Even and Even rolls his head, so his mouth is on Isak’s shirt and it’s almost enough to muffle Even’s moan. Almost.

Isak hears the guy pause in the stall once over from them like he’s listening for company and Isak wants to die. He’s torn between mortification and deep arousal, so deep that he’s almost on the verge of coming, just from this, just from them standing still on the brink of being discovered.

Even’s grip on his hip and his mouth are getting tighter by the second and Isak can feel his dick twitch inside of him and he closes his eyes and just can’t stop the whimper that escapes him. Thankfully, the guy flushes as it does, drowning the sound in noise and Isak is so hot he’s dripping with sweat.

This is so much better than he imagined it would be.

He braces himself for staying like that until the guy leaves, but then Even moves in him. Just a small roll of his hips and Isak tightens all over once more. Even keeps it up, small minuscule thrusts, just making his dick move inside of Isak and Isak is drowning in pleasure. His eyes roll back inside his head, Even’s hand catching his sounds and it’s so dirty that Isak’s balls draw up and he’s shaking from how good it is.

The guy passes their stall and opens the door and Isak is panting so hard now he almost feels like he can’t breathe with that hand on his mouth anymore.

As soon as the door closes behind him, making them alone again, Even pushes hard into Isak, so hard that Isak is pushed against the wall and he moans loudly, lets his sound free and this time Even’s hand isn’t enough to stop it.

Even loosens his grip on his mouth, starts talking almost immediately straight into his ear.

“Fuck, you don’t even know how hard you made it for me to stand still. You got so tight. You really liked that hand, didn’t you, baby?” Isak whimpers at Even’s words, feels how every sentence pushes another bead of precum out of him, pushes him so much closer to coming and he’s shivering with it now, holding onto Even’s arm for dear life, like it’s the only thing that can ground him right now.

“You’re so into this. Look at you falling apart on my dick, you’re so perfect, Isak. You always feel so good,” he continues and Isak just can’t hold it all inside. He’s moaning like a pornstar, sounds muffled by Even’s hand and everything is so much, so perfect.

His dick is getting harder, twitching with every rough thrust and then Even lets go of his hip and puts his hand on the top of the stall, giving him extra leverage and then he really starts to pound into Isak.

“Fuck, fuck, Even, _fuck_ ,” Isak chants against Even’s hand, he’s giving himself over to it, to all this feeling that’s radiating from his ass out into his dick, into his entire body, and he just doesn’t have any control anymore. He’s surrounded by Even, boxed in by his arm, by his hand, by his body.

Even’s dick is still moving inside him, and everything boils down to that, to that quick shove that still burns, but in all the right ways. There’s no way Even can get to his prostate like this, in this position, but it doesn’t seem like he needs to. Isak is still being fucked so good that he’s seeing stars behind his eyelids.

Even finally releases his mouth and Isak can suddenly hear how loud he’s breathing, how many sounds that are pouring from his lips, and he would be ashamed of it if it wasn’t for how Even’s hand is gliding down his body, going down, down, until he reaches Isak’s dick.

When he puts a hand around it, Isak almost feels like weeping from relief. The pressure and the warmth of Even’s big hand around him is just so perfect and it’s like it’s the only thing keeping him up. The only thing that’s making his legs strong enough to keep standing, when all he wants to do is melt.

Even is making quick work of him, stroking him tight and sure, like he knows just how to play Isak’s body, and he _does_. Isak puts his head down on Even’s shoulder once more, loses some of the tension in his body, just gives himself over completely to Even.

“Fuck, I love you like this. I love how hard you are for me, how wet.” And his words are underlined by the slick noises of Even’s hand working Isak’s dick and Isak’s dick twitches with Even’s words.

He’s so close now, so lost between the feeling of having to still be quiet as they’re in public, could be caught any moment, and Even’s big dick moving inside of him, pushing deeper and deeper with each thrust, lighting him up from within, touching every goddamn nerve inside of him. There’s so much pleasure, so much sensation that Isak almost drowns in it.

“Even, fuck, let me come, just… Let me. Please,” he begs, so close now that if Even would just tighten his hand a bit more, move it just a bit faster, then he would.

He feels Even’s lips on his cheek, feels how wet his breath is against his skin, as he mutters, “Fuck yes, Isak. You don’t know what you do to me!” and hearing the desperation and the want in Even’s voice is what finally does it for Isak.

He puts a hand over Even’s on his dick and squeezes, doesn’t move it, just squeezes, but that’s enough. Almost as soon as he does, he starts shooting, opens his mouth to it, tightens around Even’s dick inside of him, almost to the point of it being painful but Even doesn’t stop, just keeps moving, even gets a bit rougher.

He sounds like he’s trying to talk, but can’t, like he’s just as overwhelmed by Isak’s orgasm as Isak is. Every rope of cum shooting from Isak can be felt everywhere in his body like it’s being pulled from his toes, his knees, the roots of his hair. His heart is beating so fast, making him feel alive and fucking glorious, ecstasy taking hold of him, scrambling his brain.

He convulses through it, can feel his hole flutter in pulses around Even’s dick even as it’s pushed into him in short, quick jabs and then he hears Even make these abrupt _ah, ah, ah_ sounds, just before he starts coming too.  

It’s such a good feeling, adds to his own orgasm as he’s slowly coming down, knowing that he’s the reason for how good Even is feeling. Even’s grip on his dick turns painful, making Isak wince and open his eyes to see Even’s knuckles turn white on top of the stall as he feels his dick twitch inside of him, pushed as deep as it can go.

It’s a good feeling. Knowing that Even is marking him up, is leaving something of him behind in him, evidence of this fucking filthy thing they’re doing, and Isak can’t help but smile at it, let go of his dick to put his hand on Even’s ass to push him in further. He wants it all, he wants every last drop Even has in him.

He wants to feel it for days, wants to feel it every time he sits down, just how good his boyfriend fucked him.

“Even…” he whispers, and it makes him thrust shallowly again, just buries himself even deeper inside of Isak and Isak loves it so much. Loves Even so much.

How can it keep being this good?

When Even is done shooting, he loosens his grip on Isak’s dick and just breathes against him.

Isak wants to stay there, wants to feel Even close to him, needs it. He leans in against the wall, forehead first, makes sure that Even follows, and he turns his head when he hits it so he can look at Even. It’s not really possible. Even is too close, cheek against his, but it’s more like the illusion of it that makes Isak calm down even more, even if his heart is still trying to beat out of his chest.

“Isak…” Even whispers against his skin but it feels like more, the reverent way he says his name. Isak has never heard anybody say his name like that, like it holds so much more meaning than just that, like it holds some kind of truth to Even that he himself doesn’t quite understand.

It’s almost enough to make Isak clench his eyes shut, overwhelmed by how much he loves him, how close and attached he’s feeling right now.

Even pulls out slowly, and as soon as he does, as soon as the tip leaves Isak, Even’s cum starts dripping out of him. He clenches his hole to it, wants to keep it inside and make it stay there. Wants to go down amongst their friends, filled to the brim with Even’s cum.

Even stays there behind him and Isak opens his eyes to the sight of Even looking at his hole over his shoulder. When he touches it, it’s almost reverently, but it still surprises Isak enough that he unclenches for a second and a glob of cum runs out of him, down his perineum, starts a trail down his thigh.

Isak whines at the loss but Even shushes him gently, like he understands what Isak wants.

“We’re going to have to buy a buttplug, aren’t we?” he whispers into the space between them, making Isak inhale hard, almost choking on air.

Fuck. His dick twitches at the thought, even though he just came, it’s just too good a thought not to.

He doesn’t say anything back, but it seems he doesn’t have to, because Even hums and leans back into him, kisses his neck and cheek tenderly, slowly.

Isak closes his eyes to it, feels so safe here with Even, like the entire world boils down to just this.

Them.

Nothing else matters.

Even puts a hand on his chin, turns his head even more, enough for them to be able to kiss, and Isak moans into it. His skin tingles from the orgasm and he’s filled with love and cum and everything is just right. As it should be.

They start cleaning up, Even wetting a few paper towels to wipe up the mess he’s left in Isak and Isak loves how Even always wants to take care of him after. How much he always matters to him.

When they’re both clean, or as clean as they can get, and have all their clothes on right again, Even pulls him in tight, hands on his cheeks, thumbs caressing his cheekbones and he looks at Isak. Really looks, blue eyes so intense that Isak almost gets lost in them.

“I love you,” he whispers and Isak almost chokes on all the emotions that cause in him. He puts his arms around Even, hugs him so tight against him he almost can’t breathe from it. And then he says it back. Can’t imagine there could ever be a time where he wouldn’t want to do that.

\--||--

As they leave the stall, walks down the corridor hand in hand towards the front entrance, Even casually says to him, “You know, at some point, you’re going to have to tell me how long you’ve been planning for this,” like he _knows_.

But Isak isn’t ashamed, not anymore. Not when he has Even by his side who accepts his desires and even shares them too. Like he senses that there wouldn’t be a thing he wouldn’t be able to tell Even. It’s freeing like nothing else, how he’s found someone who just accepts him, wants the same things he does.

And isn’t that just the best feeling in the entire world.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> U is for university.
> 
> So once again Noora guessed it?? And she only guessed like one word and it was the right word?? Noora, what is going on? Do you live in my brain…? xD xD
> 
> Anyway. Halfway through my peeps? I can’t believe it. Thank you so much for all your support, you guys are really the best. You make writing this fun… :)
> 
> That being said, I’ve started writing my 1-year-in-fandom-fic (you can find an excerpt on my tumblr [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169807254364/last-paragraph-meme)), and I can’t guarantee that won’t affect my posting schedule for AA. I’ll do my best, but I kinda have a deadline for the 1-year fic (it’s the 27th of February) so I have to be done by then. :) 
> 
> AND ALSO!!! Some shameless self-promotion, because I’ve gathered all the extras I’ve done for this fic in another fic, so if you don’t have a tumblr you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381242/chapters/30647814). I’ve done one more since chapter 12; M in Even’s POV. You can find it on my tumblr [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/169783673954/hi-tina-no-pressure-but-if-u-have-time-can-u), or in that fic as chapter 4. Happy reading, my friends! :D
> 
> EDIT: The awesome [flabbergastedboatwoman](https://flabbergastedboatwoman.tumblr.com/) drew [this amazing fanart](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/180409792009/flabbergastedboatwoman-based-on-chapter-u-of) for this chapter. You should all go check it out and show her all the love. <3
> 
> EDIT EDIT: I've written a little extra for this chapter about what happened after from Even's POV. You can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381242/chapters/38303282).


	14. D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo….. I know quite a few people have been looking forward to this chapter. You know who you are… ;) ;)
> 
> The awesomeness that is Maugurt betaed this, thank you bb! <3
> 
> And as always the letter is explained in the end notes. 
> 
> Enjoy!! :D

It’s quiet in the room. The music stopped playing a little while ago, but Isak is still stroking Even’s hair to the rhythm as if it was still on. He’s counting in his head to keep up, feels how it makes Even relax on top of him, melt into his chest where he knows that Even is listening to the beat of his heart.

There’s still a good ache in his body from what happened on Friday. The kind he wishes could last forever, where his muscles are a little bit sore from bending over too long. Just thinking about Even fucking him in that stall makes him hot all over, but the sleepy sounds Even is making keeps him from wanting to do anything about it.

The only thing breaking the silence is the barely audible sound of traffic outside. It’s much too late for their neighbors to be up or for people to still be out. It makes it seem like there’s nobody else in the world but them.

Isak sighs contentedly at that thought, burrows into the mattress a bit further, feels how Even is slowly falling asleep on top of him. So Isak closes his eyes and lets himself go too.

\--||--

He’s up early the next morning. It’s Monday and he’s rushing through the apartment, putting on clothes while eating breakfast at the same time. He doesn’t expect Even to get up while Isak’s still home, he doesn’t start his shift at KB until later, so he freezes as he’s packing up his bag, looking at Even like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

Even gets up like he doesn’t notice Isak’s surprise and he kisses Isak quickly as he passes him on the way to the bathroom.

“Why are you up already?” Isak asks when Even gets back into the room.

Even smiles at him and says, “I just wanted to say goodbye to my favorite boyfriend.”

Isak smiles back immediately, is powerless against Even being cute like this.

“Your favorite?” he asks, lets himself be pulled into Even’s arms and he looks so delicious like this. Although he just woke up, although he has morning breath and his hair is flat on his head and his face still has folds in it from the pillow, Isak’s never seen anything better in his entire life.

Even’s smile grows wider and he tilts his chin and licks his lips in such a playful way that Isak just lets go of his bag and puts his arms around Even too.

Even goes willingly, lets himself be pulled close enough to Isak that Isak can kiss him, and it’s a proper one this time. It goes on for a bit longer than it should and Isak is out of breath as he pulls back, his skin still tingling, and he looks at Even and just wants to dive right back in, but he’s going to be late if he doesn’t leave soon.

“We’ll continue this later,” he says while looking at Even’s mouth.

He almost misses the way Even wiggles his eyebrows at him, and it shouldn’t look that good, shouldn’t be that tempting, but it is.

Isak pulls back all the way reluctantly and he finishes getting ready in the most distractedly of ways while Even puts on quite a show, trying to keep him there.

Even pulls his t-shirt up a bit, showing off skin and that perfect trail of hair leading down to his briefs, and he pretends to be scratching at the skin there. Like his real reason for doing that isn’t to tease Isak, and Isak hates (loves) him for it.

With a faked disinterest, Even says, “I don’t have work today, so I’ll just be home. Alone. Thinking about you.”

And Isak has to swallow against his sudden dry throat. Even is fucking irresistible when he wants to be. He keeps scratching higher, lifting his shirt up more and more, showing off his body to Isak and Isak wants to give in so badly. Wants to take all his clothes off and just push Even down on the bed and fuck him stupid.

But he _can’t_. He has to get to school, has to keep up his average and not fuck up his 10%. So he tears his eyes away from Even, makes himself take a step backward, away from Even, towards their front door, and then another, and it’s not until he’s at the front door he glances up at Even again.

“Later,” he says and it’s easy to hear how affected he is by Even’s display.

Even looks so fucking pleased about it and Isak goes to school with that image stuck in his mind.

\--||--

_I know you said later, but how late is later?_

Isak is looking down at the message on his phone, which he’s hiding from prying eyes under the table.

_I finish at 3_

Isak replies and tells himself to just put the phone away, but he can’t. It doesn’t take long for Even to reply and when Isak reads it, his mouth turns dry immediately.

_I don’t think I can wait that long. I might have to start without you. ;)_

Fuck.

Isak tries to swallow, looks around at the people closest to him to see if they can see his phone, knows what Even’s doing. It takes him longer than it should before he answers back, but he just knows that this is going to get bad (good) for him.

_Even. I’m in the middle of biology. Don’t give me a boner._

He keeps the phone in his hand, keeps checking whether there’s a speech bubble, but it stays silent for a while. Isak has never been this distracted in his life.

_So you don’t want to know that I’m already up to two fingers? Or that I’m thinking about you while fucking myself with them?_

Isak closes his eyes to the image that gives him. His breathing is turning harder and his dick twitches interestedly in his pants, and he can’t pop a boner in class, he just can’t.

It’s almost one o’clock, there’s still a few hours to go before he can go home to Even and he knows that he won’t be able to resist skipping when Even is at home doing _that_.  

_Even…_

He replies, tries to make it sound like a warning in his head instead of a plea, and he exhales roughly when Sana throws him an annoyed glance.

“Would you please concentrate for the last 10 minutes of class?” she aggressively whispers to him and he has no choice but to pocket his phone and pretend that he’s paying attention to what the teacher is saying.

But his phone is burning a hole in his pocket and he can’t stop thinking about Even lying at home on their bed, naked, with two fingers inside himself, fucking himself with them, with that flush on his cheeks and chest that he gets when he’s really into it and yeah, that’s his dick fattening up and he can forget about not popping a boner in class.

It’s torture, and he can’t decide whether it’s the good kind or the bad kind.

He stays by the desk when the bell rings and people start packing up. He’s slow to put his books in his bag and Sana side-eyes him a few times.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asks, as they normally walk together down to their next class.

But Isak shakes his head, just mutters something about _there’s something he’s got to do_ and hopes that she doesn’t notice the flush on his cheeks. If she does, she doesn’t mention it and he’s grateful to see her finally turn to leave.

As soon as she turns her back on him, he scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket and he immediately opens it to see if Even’s has messaged him back.

He has. There are 14 unread messages and as he skims through them, he grows more and more flustered and his dick hardens completely in his pants. It’s all he can do to not put his hand on it as he’s sitting there. He’s suddenly desperate to get himself off.

It’s not until he’s pulled from his reverie by some other pupils coming in to get ready for their next class that he grabs his bag and gets out of the chair. He holds the bag strategically in front of his groin as he leaves the room and makes a beeline for the exit.

Yeah, there’s no way in hell he’s _not_ going home to Even now.

\--||--

The tram-ride home is definitely the bad kind of torture.

He’s so eager and so horny and his mind is constantly fucking him over with thoughts of Even writhing on their bed, fucking himself with his fingers, and Isak’s dick aches from it. He wants it to be his fingers making Even writhe, his dick.

Fuck, he can imagine it as he’s sitting there on the tram, just how warm and wet and tight and perfect Even feels around him and it’s getting harder for him to sit still.

The tram is moving way too slow for his taste. Is it really necessary to stop at every stop?

When the tram finally stops at his stop, he almost jumps out of it, and he’s walking way too fast the rest of the way to the apartment. He can’t help it, he’s just barely holding back from running to Even now.

When he opens his door, the first thing he notices is the _sounds_. He quickly shuts the door behind him, doesn’t want anybody else to hear how delicious Even sounds like when he’s not holding back. And it’s clear that Even’s heard him, that he’s putting on a show for him.

Isak pulls his coat off and kicks his shoes off, doesn’t care where they land. His eyes are already set on Even lying on the bed in their bedroom, and he has a prime position for watching just what Even’s doing. He can see _everything_ from where he’s standing.

Even has his feet on the bed, knees spread and he’s up to at least three fingers now from what Isak can see and he’s squirming on the bed. He looks like he’s trying to get his fingers deeper and seems almost desperate with it now. He’s naked, his body covered in a sheen of sweat and Isak can’t see his head, but from the sounds he’s making, it’s clear that he’s good to go.

He focuses on how wet Even’s fingers are, how his rim looks stretched and used and Isak feels frantic from it. He pushes his snapback off and rids himself of his clothes, faster than he’s ever done before, while he’s walking towards the bed, and by the time he’s naked, he’s panting and so fucking hard it’s almost starting to hurt.

He immediately gets on the bed, crawls on his knees until he’s between Even’s and he puts his hands on them. His eyes are focused on where Even’s fingers are working and he doesn’t even look away when Even moans out a _hi_. And he sounds so pleased and so turned on and the tone of his voice makes Isak’s dick twitch, makes him crawl even closer to Even.

“Hi,” Isak mutters back, too distracted to do more.

Even’s dick is so hard, red and dripping precum on his stomach and Isak is actually a little bit surprised that Even’s not stroking himself.

“You’re home early,” Even says breathlessly, making Isak’s mouth stretch in a crooked smile.

There are so many things he could say, like _are you really surprised_ or _you knew that I wouldn’t be able to stay away when you sent me those messages_ , but he doesn’t. Instead, he says what he really wants to say, is too affected by seeing Even like this to hold back.

“I’m going to fuck you now.”   

The responding moan from Even finally makes him look up at him, makes him find his eyes, and what he sees there makes goosebumps break out all over his skin.

Even looks so _gone_. Pupils blown, hair a mess, cheeks flushed. It’s making Isak desperate for more.

“Where’s the lube?” he says and he’s barely finished saying it before Even throws it in his direction.

“Hurry up!” he whines and Isak looks at how he’s twisting his fingers inside of him, how he can’t seem to find what he’s searching for, and Isak will make sure that he reaches all the good spots inside of him.

He’ll fuck him real good.

“You look so fucking good like this,” he says, can’t keep the words in, “I just want to pull those fingers out of you and replace them with my dick.”

Even moans and lifts his head so he can look at him. He watches as Isak lubes his dick up and wipes the excess lube off on the sheet before he lifts Even’s legs so they’re resting on his shoulders. They’re so long and always kind of in the way, but he’s found that this is one of the best ways to not have to deal with them. And it gives him something to hold on to.

He puts his hand around Even’s wrist so he can pull his fingers out, and the slick sound they make coupled with how puffy and perfect his hole looks makes Isak move forward to line himself up.

“Fuck, just come on!” Even croaks and he sounds even more impatient than Isak and it makes Isak feel in control. He loves it so much when Even gets like this.

He keeps his dick on his rim, rubs it against it a couple of times, and puts his hand around Even’s dick. He strokes it a few times, watches how that makes Even’s flush go further down his body, down his chest, watches how that makes Even shiver.

“Even,” he says and he loves how commanding his tone is. It makes Even look at him immediately. “Look at me while I fuck you.”

He’s not sure where this is coming from, but he needs Even’s eyes on him, needs to feel like he’s there with him. He wants to treasure that look he gets on his face when Isak breaches him.

And Even does. He keeps his eyes open, half-lidded, almost pornographic and his mouth is slightly open, his lips so puffy, like he’s been biting them, and he’s absolutely irresistible.

Isak wants to devour him, wants to tear him apart and put him back together.

“You want it fast?” he says and keeps rubbing the tip of his dick over Even’s rim, keeps teasing him, hopes to drive him crazy for it. “Or do you want it slow?”

The dazed look Even is giving him, the way he licks his lips but doesn’t talk tells Isak more than words could. Even is so responsive to him. It’s so clear from how easy it is for Even now to lose himself a bit in what Isak is doing to him, just how much this game has made him trust him, and Isak is flooded with emotions that make him want to lie down and cuddle Even instead. Make him want to kiss him all over and worship him, instead of wrecking him.

But then Even’s thighs shake against his chest and Even starts whining, “Come on, fuck me. I don’t care, just fuck me.”

And Isak is back to wanting to wreck him.

“Okay. I’ll take care of you, baby.” His voice is so sure and firm, in a way it seldom is except when he’s with Even like this.

So he starts pushing in.

Normally, he would do it fast when Even is desperate like this, just slide in all the way in one long glide, bury himself to the hilt in all that delicious heat. But not today.

Today, he breaches him, stops as soon as the head of his dick has popped past Even’s rim, making Even groan in that perfect, surprised way he does, and then Isak pulls out.

He wants to see how many times he can make Even make that sound.

Even makes a disappointed whimper, but Isak has only just left him before he pushes back in. He smirks when he hears that surprised groan again. So he stops himself one more time, pulls out only to push back in, and this time Even looks up at him as he does and the sound he makes isn’t exactly surprised anymore. It’s deeper, lower and it goes straight to Isak’s dick, which jumps inside of Even.

So Isak pulls back out and pushes back in just as fast again, and he can’t help but notice how much easier the breach is this time, how Even loosens for him, how Even’s entire body has started to shake now. He’s always been so sensitive there.

As Isak pulls out and pushes back in a fifth time, Even grabs for him, puts his long fingers around his wrists and tries to pull him closer. His mouth is working like he’s trying to talk, but no sounds come out. He’s just looking at Isak with wide, dazed, blown-out eyes and he’s so fucking sexy that Isak clenches his teeth from it, tries to ignore how the fact that he can affect Even so much makes his heart work overtime and his lungs feel too small.

He does it one more time and this time there’s almost no resistance to the breach and this time Even’s mouth finally starts working.

“Come on. Come on, fuck me. Fuck me, Isak!” he’s babbling, all curses and pleads and it’s setting Isak on fire.

The seventh time he breaches Even he doesn’t stop himself, he just fucks into him, doesn’t hold himself back, and the sound of their skin slapping against each other makes him tighten his grip on Even’s dick.

Even’s twisting his head from side to side as Isak starts fucking into him, sets a brutal pace that makes him have to let go of Even’s dick so he can hold on to his thighs instead, giving him leverage. He uses his entire body to thrust into Even, pushes him up the bed with every stab and Even looks delirious with pleasure.

He’s moaning, is much too loud for where they are, but Isak doesn’t care. It’s in the middle of the day, if anybody’s home they can go fuck themselves.

Nothing is going to make him stop doing this, fucking his boyfriend exactly as he needs it, exactly as Isak knows he wants to.

He leans back a bit, changes the angle and looks at Even’s dick as he hits his prostate dead on, watches how it twitches and drop after drop of precum is pushed out of it with every thrust. It makes Isak’s mouth water, makes him wish there was a way that he could get it in his mouth. Instead, he settles on letting go of Even’s thigh just long enough that he can run his fingers over the tip and put them in his mouth.

The bitter taste explodes over his tastebuds, floods his mouth with spit and he makes sure that Even’s watching him do it, turns it into quite a show with how he hollows his cheeks around his fingers and licks over them with his tongue.

The way Even is looking at it, the sounds that punches out of him, makes everything worth it. Makes his burning thighs and the soreness of his skin where he keeps slapping against Even’s all worth it. He wants to make this really good for Even.

He can’t help but let his mind wander to the other day when Even had drawn the next letter. He had looked at Isak with wide eyes, had immediately blushed a lovely rosy shade on the top of his cheekbones and when he’d shown Isak the letter, Isak had understood why. It was D. And it was obvious what that was supposed to be, in the same way that it was obvious what S was supposed to be.

This was Even’s fantasy, and Isak was going to fulfill it for him to the fullest. Just like Even had done for him.

Even’s lids are starting to flutter like he’s fighting a losing battle against them closing. He’s still making the most beautiful sounds, still making Isak almost overwhelmed with how fucking good he’s being for him, and Isak will never get enough of looking at Even.

He’s like a revelation when he’s getting fucked like this.

All that lean body just for Isak to take, all that trust that he’ll do him good, how Even isn’t even grabbing for his dick, because he trusts Isak to get him off, doesn’t question why he’s not touching it.

It’s perfect. He’s perfect.

Isak needs to kiss him, needs to feel him closer and without thinking about it too much, he just leans in to do just that. Except he’s forgotten Even’s long legs on his chest and as he leans in, Even opens up even more under him, lifts his hips to the stretch and Isak can suddenly go that much further inside of him.

He keeps leaning in, straightening out his own legs under him, making his thighs happy in the process and he lies down on top of Even, almost bending him in half, and Even just looks at him with those eyes as he does.

Isak is just out of reach of Even’s lips, it’s just not possible for Even to bend any further, but it’s enough. He can feel Even’s breath against him, feel how his body is shaking from want under him, so Isak finds his footing on the bed and clenches his abs, starts working his hips in short, fast jabs, and pushing himself deeper and deeper inside of Even.

And this makes Even close his eyes. He throws his head back on the pillow and opens his mouth further.

Isak bites his lip to it, is so focused on giving Even exactly what he wants that he barely feels how fucking close he’s getting himself. He settles down a bit more, not much, but apparently just enough, because that change of position makes him hit Even’s prostate on the next thrust and he nearly turns delirious with how fucking tight Even’s becomes from it.

It makes him push into him a bit rougher, work his hips a bit harder, and the sounds that are pouring from Even now are unintelligible, but they’re perfect to Isak’s ears.

It only takes two more thrusts before Even starts begging.

“Fuck, _Isak_. Make me come, just… Touch me.”

And Isak can’t deny Even anything. Especially not when he’s asking like this, so he somehow manages to shuffle his body enough that he can put all his weight on one arm and he finds a way to get the other one between them and then he grabs onto Even’s dick just as he thrusts into him again. And that’s all it takes for Even.

He comes immediately, convulses against Isak, dick twitching in his hand, covering himself and Isak with cum and he’s moaning and shivering and he’s never been prettier. Isak is content with just rolling his hips against Even’s, just moving inside of him enough to prolong the orgasm and make it really good as he’s still stroking his dick.

It looks like a good one, like he’s lost to it, body flooded with pleasure and Isak _wants_.

He wants to taste it, he wants to touch it, he wants to fall right beside Even. But he knows that it’s not his time yet. Knows that he still has work to do.

So he clenches his teeth to it, pulls himself back from the edge and lets himself be satisfied with watching Even climax, watching how good he’s making him feel.

When the first waves of it are over and Even is down to shivering from it, he slows everything down. He removes his hand from Even’s dick and gently relocates Even’s legs out on each side of him, makes lying there more comfortable for Even.

He keeps lying there though, enjoys how his dick is still inside of Even, just the tip, and the clenching and unclenching of Even’s walls around him feels fucking perfect.

Even finally open his eyes again and looks straight at him, smiling as he does, and it’s like a punch to the stomach for Isak. Just how much love Even can convey in one look. It makes Isak’s mouth dry and makes him want to protect and care for him. So he leans down to finally catch his lips with his, to finally let himself kiss him, just as he’s wanted to for a while now.

Even’s lips are addictive.

He’ll never get enough. Will always want to kiss them. Always wants to taste Even.

When he pulls back, just enough that Even can catch his breath, he whispers, “Isak…” against his lips and Isak feels like the king of the world.

He has to kiss Even again, just has to, and this one is one of those kisses he feels in his toes. One of those that tells him that everything he’s feeling is felt by Even as well.

It’s good. It’s always good. But this is like the cherry on top. He can’t believe how it can be possible for it to get better, for him to fall more in love. But it clearly can, because he does.

Even stretches out under him, puts his arms over his head and the movement finally makes Isak slide out of him completely. Even makes a face at it.

“Are you sore?” Isak whispers.

Even shakes his head. “No. It just always feels weird when you pull out. Like I’m… empty, for lack of a better word.”

And fuck. Even sometimes does this, says these things that sets Isak on fire without even trying to. And this is clearly one of those times.

“Turn over,” Isak says and rolls to his side, making room for Even to do so.

He looks at him surprised like he’s not sure why Isak is asking that.

“You know,” Isak starts, a little bit surprised himself that Even hasn’t said anything yet. “I know what D is supposed to be. You don’t have to say it if it’s hard for you. So, turn over.”

Even flushes beautifully, pauses for a few long seconds before he does just that.

And then Isak is lying next to one of the best sights he could ever possibly imagine. All that skin on display for him, that lean back, the dip in his spine that leads down all the way to the most perfect ass in the world. All for him to touch, all for him to enjoy.

He can’t help but run his hand down the expanse of his back, all the way from his neck to his ass and he puts his hand on top of his ass. He feels Even tense under him for a second before he relaxes again.

Even turns his head to look at Isak and asks, “Are you going to get the vibrator?”

Isak _hmms_ in answer and smiles teasingly. But he doesn’t move, just lies there kneading Even’s ass, enjoys how it fits in his hand.

Even is frowning at him, looks like he’s trying to figure out why Isak isn’t being more frantic, and it _is_ kind of weird. Just minutes ago, Isak was desperate, sweating and eager to fuck into Even, but he’s more settled now. His dick is still hard as a rock, still ready to go, but it’s easy for him to ignore now that he has something else to think about.

“Then what are you going to use?” Even asks and sounds so deliciously confused and it’s making it impossible for Isak not to kiss him. So he gives into the impulse, leans into him and starts kissing him. It’s tender and gentle, much different from how he should be kissing him, but he loves how Even melts into the kiss, how he just responds in the same way and it makes Isak’s heart feel too big for his chest.

“I have something better,” Isak whispers against his lips and then he quickly rolls over and pulls out a drawer in their dresser, takes out the dildo he bought at Kondomeriet, that’s certainly bigger than the vibrator, and that he placed there the day before yesterday, after Even had drawn the letter. He picks up one of the condoms there as well.

He rolls back over again, holding the dildo up like a trophy and the look on Even’s face makes all his calmness disappear.

“Isak…” he whispers and _fuck_. He sounds so wrecked already and Isak hasn’t even started yet.

“Yeah,” Isak replies shakingly and he can’t look away from Even, although Even isn’t looking at him, he’s completely focused on the dildo. “You want to?”

Even immediately nods and then bites his lips. It’s not hard to see how Even is flushing more, how he’s turning redder, but this time Isak is quite sure it’s not from shyness, but from imagining just what Isak’s about to do to him.

Isak puts his hand back on Even’s ass and smiles when Even just spreads his legs for him without him even having to ask. He dips his hand between Even’s cheeks, feels how wet he still is with lube, how open and stretched his hole is. It makes Isak choke on air, makes him scoot closer to Even so he can grind his dick against his thigh.

And he flushes all over when Even arches his back and lifts his hips a bit, trying to get closer to Isak. He can’t just lie there anymore, he can’t. He needs more.

So he gets up, pushes Even’s legs apart and kneels between them. He pauses there, can’t help but pause a few seconds to take in the sight in front of him, of Even lying there just waiting for him to do what he wants to do to him. It’s getting harder and harder for Isak to ignore how hard his dick is when Even is looking so mouth-wateringly fuckable.

Although he could stay here for much longer, just looking at Even, taking him in, it’s clear that Even is getting impatient. He’s starting to squirm a bit, rolling his hips and hiding his face in the pillow.

“Isak…” he mutters against the pillow, almost impossible to hear if Isak wasn’t so attuned to how his name sounds falling from Even’s lips. Even sounds desperate by now and Isak can’t help but smile at it.

It makes him speed up a bit. He doesn’t want Even to grow too impatient, wants to make this perfect for him. So he puts his hands on Even’s ass cheeks and pulls them apart, exposing Even’s wet and puffy hole to him, and suddenly, it’s like Isak can’t breathe.

He lets go of Even’s ass with one hand to touch it and slides two fingers easily into Even, making them both moan. Even is just so _loose_ and Isak scrambles to find the lube.

“Get on your knees,” he says, too busy lubing his dick up to notice just how much of a command that sounds like, so he’s surprised when Even gets up immediately.

He doesn’t argue, doesn’t question him or tease him like he normally would, and it’s enough to make Isak pause with a wet hand on his dick. He watches as Even just lifts his hips up and puts his knees under him and within seconds, he has Even exactly as he wants him.

His shoulders are still on the bed and his head is turned so Isak can see his eyes staring dazedly into their bedroom. His hair is wet with sweat, making it cling to his forehead and neck, and the flush is spreading all the way down to his ass now. He looks delicious. The way his lean muscles play under his skin, showing off the strength that lies there as he clenches them impatiently, the way he wiggles his ass a bit to get Isak to touch him, it all makes Isak tongue-tied and incredibly grateful that this is his life. Fuck parallel universes. He doesn’t want to be anywhere else than right here, right now, enjoying the sight of his gorgeous boyfriend being eager to get fucked by him.

It’s that thought that finally makes him move, makes him scramble up the bed and without any hesitation, he grabs onto Even’s ass, pulling the cheeks apart, only letting go with one hand long enough to line himself up and then he just slides in.

Even whines the whole way, eyes clenched shut and Isak pauses when he bottoms out, scared that he’s hurting Even. But before he can say anything Even groans, “Move goddammit!” and so Isak does.

On the first thrust in he lets go of Even’s ass, slides his hands up and down his lower back a couple of times, has to touch all that pretty skin and muscle, would kiss it all if he had the time, and it’s easy to fall into a rhythm like this. Even pushes back, meets him every time he bottoms out and he feels so fucking good around Isak’s dick that Isak is powerless against the sounds he makes.

They get into an easy rhythm, starting off a bit slow, just to make sure Even isn’t too sensitive from his orgasm, but it seems like that really isn’t a problem for him with how affected he looks by what Isak’s doing, and it doesn’t take long for Isak to pick up the rhythm a bit.

“You look so good taking my dick,” Isak says in a low tone, and he watches how those words make Even grab onto the pillow. “I can’t wait till I get the dildo in you as well.”

Even’s hands turn into fists in the pillow. “Isak…” he whimpers and turns his head a bit, disappears into the pillow and Isak understands that this can be a bit much.

“You’re already loose, baby, but I need to open you up more. Are you okay with that?” he asks, has to, has to know that Even is still with him.

Even nods frantically, opens his eyes and turns his head enough that he can look at Isak and Isak feels his eyes on him like a bolt of lightning. Even looks so _wrecked_ already and Isak wants so bad that he’s panting with it.

“Fuck, okay,” he whispers to himself, as if he needs to give himself a peptalk. But he kind of does, because this is a big thing. This is Even’s fantasy, one he’s been waiting to live out, and Isak wants to be just as perfect for Even as he was for Isak.

He picks the lube up again with shaking fingers, struggles to get it open now that they’re slippery with excess lube and nerves. He manages and pours a healthy amount onto his fingers, slides it through them, getting them good and wet for what’s about to happen. Just for good measures he pours a couple of drops onto his dick as well and pushes it into Even, making him even more wet inside.

Even makes a strangled sound in his throat when Isak pushes the cold lube into him with his dick, but Isak throws the lube to the bed, puts his somewhat dry hand on Even’s hip and rubs his thumb over the skin there, trying to soothe him.

And then he stops his movements with his dick half out of Even. He puts his hand on it and prepares himself for what he’s about to do.

His dick pulses from being inside of Even, his balls ache from keeping back his orgasm so long, but he still pauses there and takes a deep breath. He needs to collect himself, needs to pull his own desire to come back a bit so he can focus on Even properly.

He watches how Even’s chest keeps rapidly expanding from his panting and the break is over when Even starts wiggling his hips again.

Isak tears his eyes away from Even’s body and diverts them to where he’s connected to Even, watches as his dick, glistening and hard, disappears into Even and that sight makes his hips move on their own volition, makes him thrust shallowly into Even and Even immediately moans. So responsive.

He slides his hand up his dick and finally puts his fingers on Even’s rim. As soon as he touches it, Even clenches around him and Isak has to close his eyes to withstand the added pressure. It makes his balls pull up to his body, makes it hard for him to resist the temptation to just grab Even’s hips, keep him in place and just fuck him hard until he comes. He has to take another deep breath to make himself remember why that would be a bad idea.

“Shit,” he mutters, shakes his head a bit to stay in the now and then he starts sliding his fingers against Even’s rim, right where his dick disappears inside of him.

Even starts shaking immediately, just small shivers running along his body, letting Isak know just how much he likes it. And Isak hasn’t even really started yet. It doesn’t take much for Even to open up to him, he can feel him bear down around his dick, feels how he opens up to his fingers and then it’s easy to slide the first one in along his dick to the first knuckle.

He pauses with it inside, lets Even get used to it, and he looks up to Even rubbing his forehead against the pillow. He’s clenching around him, so tight, but his body isn’t tense, there are no signals that he doesn’t want this, so Isak starts moving. Just twists the finger, rubs his pad against Even’s soft walls, and it’s such a strange feeling against his own dick. He’s standing as still as he can, the only thing moving is his finger and he pushes it in further, to the next knuckle, and Even moans low and deep and Isak tightens his grip on Even’s hip.

This will be the death of him and he’s only one finger in.

He slowly starts moving it a bit more, slides it out to the first knuckle before he slides it back in and it doesn’t take long before he feels Even relax around him, a couple of more slides before Even is begging for another finger. And Isak can’t deny him anything when he begs, so he immediately pulls his finger out so he can add the next.

It’s a tight fit this time so he goes slow. Checks that his fingers are still very wet with lube, doesn’t want to hurt Even.

“Just say stop if it’s too much,” he says, and his voice sounds strange in the room after a period of only moans and groans to break the silence.

Even nods frantically, turns his head to the side so he can talk and says, “More, fuck, more Isak,” and it’s like once he’s started he can’t stop, the words just keep pouring from his lips.

Isak has to trust him, has to trust that he knows his limitations and boundaries, so when he asks for more, he can give it to him. He speeds up the slide into Even and starts tentatively scissoring his fingers, stretching him out further.

Watching how his fingers fit inside Even alongside his dick, how his hole just opens up for him, how stretched and _used_ it looks, it’s obscene in the best of ways. It’s getting harder and harder for Isak to go slow. He feels himself start to lose patience. They’ve been at it for a while now, and Isak still hasn’t come and he’s really starting to feel it now. Not only in how much his balls are starting to ache, how his dick pulses with need, but also in how the muscles in his thighs and ass are burning.

But he’s pretty sure that he could do this forever if Even would let him, just keep his boyfriend satisfied, making all his deepest fantasies come true.

Even is slowly starting to loosen up around him now, and the fit isn’t quite as tight, but before he adds another one, he needs to know if Even’s ready for more.

He’s just opened his mouth to ask him when Even interrupts him by saying, “Jesus, Isak. Just put it in me,” and hearing the desperation and want in his voice makes him choke on his laugh, makes it escape him as a weird groan-whimper sound and that in turn makes Even smile.

So he starts pushing in the third. And it’s tight. Even is squirming a bit now. But watching Even’s ass just take three of his fingers _and_ his dick might be one of the best things he’s ever experienced in his life. Nothing will ever beat this, nothing. This is the height of his existence, no sex will ever come close to this. And the sounds Even makes are just adding fuel to the fire going on inside of him, is making him so hot all over that he feels how the sweat is running down his body in small droplets, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

This is so much, he’s a little bit overwhelmed with how well Even just takes what he gives him, how much he’s into this. He looks almost gone now, eyes open, but clearly not focused on anything, both hands fisted in the pillow on each side of his head. Fuck. He’s never quite seen Even give himself over to something so easily and it’s a heady feeling to have all that control. To be in charge of Even’s pleasure to this degree.

It makes him swallow down the lick of nerves that thought arises in him, makes him want to change things up a bit, so he pulls his fingers out, slowly, delicately, much to the chagrin of Even, judging by the sounds he makes, and he picks the dildo up.

It’s a struggle getting the condom on it with lube-wet hands, but he finally manages, and then he struggles with the lid to the lube instead. Even just lies there, waiting for him. He’s growing quiet, but it doesn’t seem like it’s because of nerves, it reads more like anticipation and that just makes Isak heat up even more. He’s blinking sweat out of his eyes as he lubes up the now condom-covered dildo and then they’re finally ready.

His dick is really starting to hurt now. It’s so red and sensitive from being hard this long, his balls are complaining from being on edge and he’s just so ready to come now. But he needs to do this right, needs to give this to Even, so he lines the dildo up with his dick, rubs it gently against Even’s rim, signaling him to open up for him.

“Are you ready?” he whispers, voice so affected by the moment that he can’t voice it stronger, and Even turns his head again, enough that he can see Isak. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at Isak, but it’s enough.

Even looks more than ready.

So Isak starts pressing the dildo in, eyes glued to where the tip is putting an insistent pressure on Even’s rim and Even whines, but it’s not a bad whine. It’s one of the good ones, one of those Isak can feel his body responding to, toes curling, skin tingling and then Even bears down and opens up for the dildo.

Fuck.

Isak can barely breathe as he watches it disappear slowly into Even. Just a slow, long, easy slide in, millimeter by agonizing millimeter and Even is shaking under him now. He looks up at Even’s face, has to see how Even is taking it, and he looks fucking obscene lying there, covered in sweat with his mouth open and his eyes glazed over. He looks fucked out in the best of ways and it makes Isak’s hesitance disappear completely. It’s so obvious that Even’s really into this, that he’s so there for whatever Isak does to him and it makes his dick twitch and pulse.

He’s pretty sure that he could come just from watching Even react to that dildo being pushed inside him. How his skin shivers, breaks out in goosebumps, how red he is now, from top to bottom, just flushed and sweaty _everywhere_ and Isak has never seen him look better.

“Even, fuck. _Even_ …” he chants, completely overtaken by how good this is. He hadn’t quite expected to be so affected by it himself, but seeing how into it Even is, is clearly working for him.

The dildo just slides in further and further, until it’s as far inside of Even as Isak is and then Isak can’t hold still anymore. He starts to thrust into Even slowly, just small, irregular thrusts, born out of a primal instinct more than a conscious effort to move and he’s so close now.

It’s so much.

The tightness around his dick is almost unbearable. Even’s walls are working him, constantly clenching and unclenching, like he’s trying to figure out what to do with all that pressure in his ass and Isak can’t. He just can’t. He’s holding on by a thread, so close to just throwing caution to the wind and bury himself inside of Even as deep as he possibly can and unload himself there.

He’s shaking with the desperate need to come, his entire body shivering, and he can’t hold still, it’s just not possible anymore. He can’t be held accountable for what he’s saying, he’s so fucking gone on the clench around his dick, on how much he’s holding himself back. Every muscle in his body is tense, ready to go off at any moment.

But he doesn’t want to hurt Even, doesn’t want it to be too much for him.

Even seems to sense it on him, must sense that Isak’s in trouble, because he shuffles a bit so he can put his hand on Isak’s thigh and then he says, “Come on, Isak,” like it’s really that easy.

But Isak knows that the moment he lets go, it’s going to turn frantic and desperate and fast, and he’s not sure that Even would be able to take that. So he just keeps standing still, locked in this weird state of too much but not enough.

Even squeezes his thigh, tries to catch his attention and says it again. “Come on, baby. Move.”

But Isak shakes his head, just a small movement, squeezes more sweat out of his eyes. “I can’t,” he manages to get out.

He’s so surprised by himself, by how his body is reacting to this. How hard it is for him to hold himself back. It’s always been easy for him with Even, Even’s always mattered more, but having all this control is clearly messing with his head, is making it hard for him to not just take, especially when Even is saying stuff like _that_ to him. When he’s actually telling him to give in to it.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers between clenched teeth.

Even _tsks_ and that makes Isak look down at him to meet his eyes. He sees nothing but comfort and trust there and that somehow just makes it worse.

Even squeezes hard around his dick and the dildo and Isak loses a bit of his control and thrusts hard into Even. Just once, he stops himself almost immediately, is really starting to shake now with the strain of holding back.

“You feel that?” Even moans as he flutters his hole around Isak again and Isak is clenching his teeth so hard he’s almost afraid that they’re going to shatter from it. “You’re definitely not hurting me, baby. You feel so good inside of me, this is everything I ever wanted.” He sounds so truthful and it’s more the tone of his voice that’s getting through to Isak than what he’s saying. “Just… Do it, just give in to it,” Even continues and he sounds so sure of it, sounds like he really means it and that’s the final straw for Isak.

He lets go.

The first thrust is almost sudden, much harder than he would’ve liked and he watches how Even tenses all over from it. His instincts are taking over and he’s already thrusting again before he consciously realizes that Even’s entire upper body is tight like a rope, but he’s powerless against it. Even asked for it and he’s not saying no or red, and he doesn’t quite know how to stop his body anymore.

The next thrust punches a sound out of Even that Isak has never heard before, but it makes him absolutely certain that Even isn’t in pain. That is definitely a sound of pleasure.

It makes him relax and give into it even more, and soon, he’s working his hips hard, jabbing his dick into Even, and everything boils down to that tight, wet heat surrounding him, how Even’s walls flutter around him. His grip on Even’s hips is hard, much too hard, to the point of bruising, but he couldn’t let go now even if he wanted to. He uses that grip to pull Even towards him as he’s trying to get as deep inside Even as he possibly can, but the handle of the dildo is making it impossible for him to go as far as he normally does.

It doesn’t matter though. Isak is lost in ecstasy, waves of pure fucking pleasure pouring over him, drowning him, and he lets it. He feels how his balls pull up real tight, how he’s on the precipice of something so great that his body is almost fighting him on it and he thrusts and thrusts, lets his body chase the pleasure on its own, lets himself get completely lost in it.

And then, without anymore warning, he comes.

The orgasm hits him like a freight train. One moment, he feels like he’s still chasing it, like it’s just out of reach, the next moment, it’s a wall he runs into.

Electricity shoots through his dick, collects in his balls as he starts to shoot and distantly, he hears himself roaring out his pleasure, but he can’t really connect the sound to himself, he’s so gone with it.

His entire body is caught up in it, every nerve in his body firing, making every hair on his body stand up, his nipples harden and Even’s tight grip on his dick just keeps him in this state of hyper-sensitivity. Every clench makes him shoot another rope of cum into Even, and he lets his instincts take over, lets his body decide how long and how intense this is going to be for him.

His eyes are clenched so hard that he’s seeing stars, but it just doesn’t let up. He just keeps going, keeps drilling into Even, keeps pushing himself closer and closer, deeper and deeper and it’s never been quite like this. As he keeps going, it’s almost too much. His balls are pulsing, and he can feel how they’re close to empty, but he just keeps going, can’t seem to stop.

When the waves finally stop crashing over him, when his balls are finally done, he stills.

He stands there, out of breath, tension still slowly starting to bleed out of all his muscles, and he feels _wrecked_.

He feels like he’s run a marathon, or some kind of extreme race, all ready to keel over. The pleasure is still coursing through his body, still making his skin shiver and his dick too sensitive, but he’s slowly coming around.

His tongue almost feels too big in his mouth and he has to blink a couple of times to get his eyesight back before the spots disappear.  

“Even,” he whispers when he feels as if his mouth is working enough for him to work it, and his voice is shot. It’s rough and low and so grainy that it doesn’t quite sound like him.

Even groans but doesn’t answer back otherwise.

And Isak finally looks down at him, is finally able to take him in and focus on something other than himself, and what he sees makes him frantic all over. Even is shaking, panting, sweating, his entire body tense, face puffy and red and Isak has to swallow at how fucking lucky he is to get to see Even like this.

“Isak…” he manages to answer back and hearing his name said like that is like a punch to Isak’s stomach.

He pulls out of Even, slowly but surely, and makes sure the dildo stays inside.

“Turn over,” he croaks out and he’s barely said the words before Even does.

He looks desperate. Everything in him is making that obvious to Isak, from how his feet are working against the sheets under him, to how his hips are squirming.

He looks perfect.

Isak doesn’t want to prolong it anymore, feels like he’s accomplished exactly what he set out to do, so he leans down and swallows Even up in one go.

The taste of cum and precum explodes on his tongue. Even is so wet with it that the slide down his dick is easy and Isak loves it, loves that he can affect Even so much. It’s almost enough to make him wish that he could do it all over again.

He’s just as eager now for Even to come as Even probably is, just takes him as far down his throat as he can, swallows around him before he pulls back and does it again. He uses his tongue to push against the vein on the side of Even’s dick, does all those things that he knows drives Even crazy and makes him come in no time.

And this time is no different.

Even grabs onto his hair, and it’s hard and makes his scalp tingle, but he fucking loves it, just moans around Even’s dick and that’s what makes Even come.

The first rope of cum takes Isak by surprise, lands on his tongue and fills his mouth and he tries to swallow it. Even pulls at his head, presses him down over his dick and Isak goes without a fight, and the next ropes of cum are shot almost directly down his throat.

Isak swallows and swallows, tries to keep it all in, tries to make it really good for Even and Even keeps him there, just makes him take it all, every last drop and it’s not until he’s given the last, final twitch, shot off the last drops of cum, that he finally lets go of Isak’s hair.

Isak pulls back, slides off Even’s dick with a wet, obscene pop and he stays there, trying to catch his breath. He catches sight of the dildo sticking out of Even’s ass, and he’s eager to see just how Even’s hole looks now. How red and used it surely looks, still stretched over a dildo, wet with lube and cum. He wonders for a second whether the dildo is enough to keep it all inside or if it’s already starting to leak out of him.

He really wants to see.

Even has collapsed on the bed. He’s lying star-fished, just breathing heavily, looking up at the ceiling, and Isak has to make sure that he’s okay. First and foremost, he has to check in with Even. It seems his orgasm was just as intense as his own, and he needs to know.

He crawls up the bed on shaky limbs, lies down half on top of Even and kisses his cheek.

“Are you with me?” he asks, watches how his voice makes Even blink a few times before he turns his head and looks at Isak.

The first thing Isak notices is the brightness of his eyes and the next thing is the big smile that starts to overtake his entire face.

“Fucking hell, Isak,” he says and starts to laugh. It’s a good laugh, one of those really contagious laughs that Isak absolutely adores, and he’s swept up in it in seconds.

It feels so good to laugh after everything that just happened. A way to get all that residual tension from the intensity of what just happened between them out of his body and when the laughter finally tapers off, he doesn’t have anymore strength left in him. He’s just soft as butter. The world could come crashing down around him, and there would be nothing he could do about it.  

“That was…” Isak starts but can’t continue. He’s not sure there are really words to cover what just happened.

Even just nods and somehow manages to make his smile even wider. “Yeah.”

They lie there, close and intertwined, not moving. But they’re together. Isak knows that he’s done well with how Even’s smiling at him and how relaxed he is. The silence stretches between them, but it’s not uncomfortable. Not at all. It’s easy and comforting and Isak just can’t tear his eyes away from Even.

Finally, it’s Even who breaks the silence.

“I still have a dildo in my ass.”

And Isak can’t help but laugh with Even, there’s just too many endorphins floating in his body not to.

“Yeah, you do. We should probably take it out.”

Even nods and licks his lips and even though Isak just came his brains out minutes ago, he can’t help but follow the sight of Even’s tongue peeking out like that interestedly.

“Maybe we should do it in the shower, though. I’m feeling a bit sticky.”

This time it’s Isak’s turn to nod. And even though it doesn’t happen often, this time it’s Isak who gets up first and offers Even his hand to help him off the bed.

The shower stall isn’t really big enough for two grown men, but they make it work. Before they turn the water on, Even puts his hands on the shower wall and spreads his legs and lets Isak slowly and carefully pull the dildo out of him. As soon as it’s out, it’s followed by a trail of cum trickling out of Even, and Isak can’t stop looking. He wants to put it back, wants to keep it locked in there and he can’t help but spread Even’s ass cheeks so he can watch the cum drip down his perineum and his thighs.

“Maybe we need a buttplug for you as well,” he says and Even looks at him over his shoulder with a smile.

His eyes flit over Isak’s face, takes him in and then he replies in a low voice, “Yeah, maybe we do.”

And fuck. Isak is overwhelmed with love for this man, can’t believe that he gets to have him like this. He wants this feeling to last forever, wants this surety of his love always and every day. And with the way that Even keeps looking at him, it makes him trust it more. Makes that thought settle in his chest.

That this is something he gets to have potentially every day for the rest of his life. And he’s never looked forward to anything as much as that before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D is for double penetration.
> 
> Yes, Sarah guessed this one, almost immediately. :D
> 
> If you follow my tumblr you will know that I just started a new job today which means that I won’t have quite as much time to write as I’ve had until now. I’m going to focus all my attention on AA when I do have time, so the chapters will still come out, just not as regularly as they have been so far. Just to let you guys know that I’m not giving up on it, I WILL FINISH THIS FIC, I just won’t write anything else. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I’ve finished my 1-year anniversary fic and it’s with my beta now, so at least that's out of the way. :)
> 
> I hope you guys will be patient with me. <3


	15. K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you can all blame Immy for this. OR maybe I should say; Thank you Immy, for giving me the inspiration for this chapter!! ;) <3 <3 
> 
> Maugurt has betaed this while screaming new prompts at me and goddammit woman, calm your tits! (no don’t tho, ily! <3)
> 
> The letter is explained in the endnotes for all the people who can’t wait. I can’t think of anything else I HAVE to say (no, that’s a lie, but I’m gonna stop here… xD) so here, have some Saturday smut… ;)

When the alarm goes off the next morning, the first thing Isak does is to turn it off, and the next is to roll back over again and put his arms around Even. He makes sure that he’s lying as close to him as possible, touching as much skin as he can and as always, Even fits perfectly against his body. He watches Even slowly wake up, can’t help but kiss his cheek and upper lip gently, but pulls back so he can see.

He wants to make sure that Even is okay.

Last night was amazing and Isak can feel how sore and used his body feels. And if he feels like that, he’s sure that Even must feel it ten times more. It was incredible watching Even letting go like that, watching him losing it completely. Just thinking about it makes Isak’s dick chub up a bit, makes him want to be even closer to Even. But watching him lose it so much is also why Isak is a bit worried.

Was it too much?

It’s hard to know where the limit is now. That limit of when Even feels like he’s giving over too much control to Isak. He knows that it’s moved since they started the game, knows that he’s challenged it a bit. And although Isak _loves_ it when Even does give up control, he doesn’t want it to be at the cost of Even’s wellbeing. He still remembers too well just how lost Even had felt after A. He never wants that to happen again.

So he lies there, watches Even open his eyes and focus on him, watches how he smiles. It’s a good smile, one of those that makes Isak’s stomach flutter and his heart beat faster. Because Even looks so happy to see him.

And then Even bites his lips and his cheeks flush like he’s remembering what they did last night. And he’s still smiling.

Isak immediately leans in to kiss him, keeps his lips close to his and whispers, “You were perfect last night.”

Even huffs and leans his forehead against Isak’s, lets him nuzzle his nose in that way that Isak knows he sometimes loves even more than kissing.

“I don’t feel perfect,” he whispers back and Isak’s heart almost stops beating from worry.

“No?”

“I’m lying still and I can still feel how sore I am everywhere,” Even says with a smile in his voice.

Isak huffs out a laugh, “You did do some strenuous exercises.”

“Not to mention some stretching that I normally wouldn’t do.”

“Yeah,” Isak replies and now his voice is sounding breathless. “You did quite a lot of stretching.”

It makes Even laugh, makes him lean in to kiss Isak and Isak loves this. This easy banter, this constant need to touch. It tells him that Even is really alright. And he finally relaxes.

He gets out of bed, starts looking through the clothes on the chair for something to wear when he hears a pained sound behind him. He turns around to see Even getting out of bed, stiff like an old man.

“Jesus Christ! My fucking thighs,” Even grimaces, and he almost looks like he can’t even stand upright.

“I would offer to massage them a bit, but I’m pretty sure that that would make me late for school,” Isak teases, kind of enjoys how Even is showing evidence of what they did last night. It makes him want to go to him, want to run his hands all over his body. Makes him want to see if he’s still loose, if Isak could just slide right in if he tried.

“Is seeing me like this doing it for you?” Even asks incredulously, looking at how Isak is starting to get hard.

Isak doesn’t quite know what to answer. It still feels weird to say those kinds of words out loud when they’re not having sex and it’s light outside, when the mood is easy.

Even tilts his head, smiles at him in that fond way that always makes Isak flush a bit, and then Even closes the distance between them and kisses him.

“Dirty boy,” Even whispers against Isak’s lips with a smile. “I know just what you’re thinking about.”

And Even is so fucking irresistible like this, all playful and happy and he’s so much all at once that Isak almost can’t breathe from how lucky he feels. So instead of saying anything back, he just puts his hands on Even’s neck and pulls him in for another kiss. This one isn’t playful or innocent, it’s heat and tongue and wet lips, and it leaves them both panting and hard by the time they pull apart.

It’s difficult not to give into it, difficult not to just push Even down onto the bed, but they manage to pull apart. The rest of their morning is filled with innuendos, with not so innocent-touches and lingering kisses.

The best kind of morning in Isak’s opinion.

Isak draws the next letter as they’re eating breakfast, between spoonfuls of cereal and he can’t help but frown when he sees it.

“K,” he says and turns the paper over to show Even.

Even looks like he’s thinking hard like he’s trying to think of what K could be, just as Isak is. Isak’s drawing a complete blank, though. Absolutely nothing comes to mind.

“Something with kissing?” Even says and frowns. “I feel like it’s a letter that shouldn’t be hard, but kind of is anyway.”

Isak silently agrees.

Fuck. He’s still the one that gets all the hard ones. Wonderful.

\--||--

He stops by Kollektivet after school. Eskild has been pestering him about what costume he’s going to wear to the costume party there this Friday, and Isak is using it as an excuse not to do something couple-y with Even for their costumes. He _hates_ when people do themes, rolls his eyes at it every time, but Even loves it. And maybe Isak should be the good boyfriend and just give in to it, but he’s done it once that time with Emma and that was more than enough.

So he sits there on Eskild’s bed as Eskild pulls out one ridiculous costume after the other, a banana, a vampire, a fucking Robin Hood costume, and Isak just frowns at all of them.

“Why do you even have so many costumes?” he can’t help but ask as Eskild keeps going through his closet, muttering _no, that won’t fit_ and _that could work_ to himself.

“Baby gay, let me tell you. This is what happens when you put lots of gays together, we love to dress up,” and Isak still hates when Eskild talks like this, groups all gays together into one. But he bites his tongue, doesn’t want to argue with Eskild right now. “And I can’t wear the same thing twice, can I?”

Isak shrugs. He wouldn’t know. He doesn’t care about those things.

Eskild pulls out a flowery dress from the closet, puts it up against his own body and says, “Aha. This one. You would make such a pretty girl.”

And Isak is ready to leave. Stuff like that still makes him so uncomfortable. He just can’t see himself become that kind of gay, the overly feminine one. Just thinking about putting that dress on makes his chest feel tight and the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It makes him feel restless and eager to get out of there.

He actually starts to get up from the bed, puts his hands out in front of him and starts to speak before he’s even worked out what to say. “Eskild, if you’re going to insist I wear dresses, then I’m just going to leave.” Eskild stops, looks at him with squinty eyes, like he’s trying to figure out whether he should be offended. Isak can’t deal with this. This is still one of those things Eskild just doesn’t get, how this just isn’t Isak. “I’m never going to wear that, okay? I just…”

He doesn’t get to finish, Eskild has apparently decided to have pity on him and just interrupts him, “Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m not going to force you to wear a dress, Isak.” He turns to put the dress back into the closet. “But maybe you should try to figure out why even the thought of wearing one makes you feel so defensive, ‘kay?”

He glances at Isak over his shoulder with raised eyebrows and pinched lips, and Isak lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. But rather than take Eskild’s advice, he lets himself be distracted by the next costume Eskild pulls out of the closet.

\--||--

But over the next couple of days, Isak finds himself thinking about it. More than he thinks about what to do with the letter, honestly. He finds himself spacing out during class, wondering why he has such a strong reaction to being feminized, why just the mere idea of wearing a dress makes his skin crawl.

He even tries to mention it to Jonas at one of the rare occasions that they’re actually alone. At lunch, when, surprisingly, everybody else has other obligations, Isak clears his throat to let Jonas knows that he’s about to say something.

“Can you believe that Eskild tried to make me wear a dress to the party on Friday?” he says, laughs and plays it off like a joke, but Jonas looks at him with those judgmental eyebrows. He’s not laughing.

“What’s wrong with dudes wearing dresses?”

Isak feels like they’ve had this talk before, but he’s more clever about it now than he was the last time.

“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with dudes wearing dresses, chill dude.” And Jonas seems to relax, but he’s still looking at Isak with those eyebrows. “I’m just saying that I can’t believe he wanted _me_ to wear one.”

He’s not sure what he actually expected to get out of telling Jonas because Jonas just looks at him a while longer and then goes back to focusing on his lunch as he says, “You know, Isak? I think you should do it just because you’re so afraid of it. It’s the only way to get over your fears.”

And Isak knows that that is how it works for Jonas, but what a load of bullshit. Although Isak has become much more brave about a lot of things, some things are just too big of a deal to even consider doing. And this seems like one of those things.

So Isak doesn’t answer Jonas back, lets the conversation drift off to more safe topics.

But that doesn’t mean he stops thinking about it.

\--||--

Isak has never been this nervous in his life.

He’s actually sweating and his hands are shaking and he feels so fucking restless that he almost doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He’s this close to just calling it off and turning around to go home and change, but then they’re already at the party and the look on Eskild’s face when he opens the front door and sees him is almost worth doing it.

“Oh, baby gay! Look at you!” he says happily and loudly, puts his hands on Isak’s upper arms and looks him up and down. “You have the perfect legs for pulling that off.”

He winks at Isak, but it’s clear to see how proud he looks and it makes Isak flush a bit, even though he would deny it if anybody said anything.

He catches the proud way Jonas looks at him and he rolls his eyes at how much of a deal both him and Eskild are making out of this, even though it pretty much is.

Once Eskild’s reaction is over and done with, the next one he worries about is Even’s. Even doesn’t know that he’s wearing this. He’s been pestering Isak to go punk with him, but Isak has kept saying no, kept saying that he was doing something else. And although Even can certainly be persuasive when he wants to be, Isak has managed to keep it a secret.

He’s been at Jonas’ to pre-party and to change and when he had changed into it, the boys hadn’t said a word, hadn’t batted an eye, almost like they didn’t care or couldn’t see how big of a deal this was to Isak. And it makes Isak wonder if maybe this is only a big deal to _him_.

It makes it a bit easier for him to wear the costume.

They take their coats off and deposits their beer in the kitchen and then Isak takes a deep breath and goes to the living room.

It’s a mess of people and loud music and so many costumes. It’s almost impossible to tell people apart, just this big mass of weird-looking dancing people. He scans the room, pretty sure that he’ll be able to see Even sticking up. He’s already texted Isak that he was already there, but Isak can’t find him.

He steps into the room, goes to greet some of the people he does recognize. There’s Linn in pajamas (he doesn’t ask) and the girls and he hugs them and opens his beer, tries to focus on having a conversation with them instead of trying to find Even, but it’s kind of hard.

He’s so nervous about Even’s reaction. Will he even like it or will he be sort of disgusted with it?

And then, all of a sudden, it’s like the crowd parts and there Even is, looking straight at Isak, eyes setting his body on fire. Even looks ready to eat Isak and he swallows hard from how just one look can make everything else around them disappear.

And that answers that question. It’s obvious that Even likes it.

Isak looks back just as captivated. Even looks fucking delicious. He’s wearing some sort of outfit Isak has never seen on him before, all black, ripped jeans and military boots, his hair is spiked with dyed red tips, his big beautiful eyes are framed by eyeliner and fuck. It’s doing _things_ to Isak to see Even look like that. It’s not really the costume, it’s more seeing how well Even wears it.

Even slowly comes closer, eyes completely set on Isak, on his legs, on his costume and Isak feels like the sexiest man alive, feels like the rest of the world can just fuck off with all their prejudices. He’ll wear this costume every day if it makes Even look at him like _that_.

Isak straightens, readies himself for when Even reaches him, but when he does, he takes Isak by surprise as he just pulls him in by his neck and gives him a dirty kiss, full of tongue, teeth, lips and heat and Isak is panting by the time Even pulls back.

“Isak…” he says in this low, rough voice that shoots straight to Isak’s dick and looks down at him. “You look so fucking good.”

Isak fights the urge to preen, has been so nervous about this that he’s almost giddy with how Even is looking at him, almost dizzy with how fast his nerves are disappearing.

“Yeah?” he asks and his smile grows so big when Even’s eyes just meet his and he nods as he bites his lip.

Even leans into him, gets real close, puts his hands on Isak’s hips, but before he can say anything, Isak interrupts him.

“K is for kilt.”

Even smiles a dirty smile and leans further in to speak right into Isak’s ear.

“Your legs look so long. I just want to put my hands underneath that kilt, run my fingers up your thighs, wrap my hand around your…” And Isak can’t stand to hear anymore, he tilts his head and kisses Even, and this time it’s even deeper and more heated and Isak is ready to leave this party at once. He just wants to be alone with Even.

They’re interrupted by Magnus going, “Whoa!” and they reluctantly pull apart and turn their heads to the guys who are looking at them amusedly.

“Guess you didn’t have to worry about how Even would react to seeing you in a kilt, huh, Isak?” Magnus asks wiggling his eyebrows.

Even diverts his eyes from them to Isak incredulously, like he can’t believe that Isak would ever doubt that, and Isak feels his cheeks heat up. He has a hard time meeting Even’s eyes, hates when his insecurities are put on display like this, does his best to ignore Even’s reaction.

“I wasn’t worried-worried,” he says, fighting the shy smile breaking out on his face as he rolls his eyes at the boys.

“Sure, Isak,” Jonas says with a knowing smirk and takes a sip of his beer.

Even keeps quiet, but still has his eyes on Isak and Isak feels them burning a hole in him. It’s not until the boys are engaged in conversation, until they’re not looking, that Even leans in and whispers, “You have nothing to worry about. You look so fucking sexy, I just want to bend you over, pull up that kilt and fuck you until you scream.”

Isak closes his eyes to the visuals flooding him, clenches his ass at how empty he feels all of a sudden. When he opens them, Even is close, almost close enough that he feels his breath on his lips.

“Is it too early to go home?” Isak asks in a low voice, making Even smile at him deviously.

“Unfortunately.”

And that word, coupled with the way Even is looking at him, holds so much promise that Isak is afraid he’s going to come apart at the seams. His dick is getting harder by the second and he doesn’t want to look down and see how obvious that is in a kilt.

Fuck. This evening can’t go by fast enough.

\--||--

They fall through the door a couple of hours later, smashing into the wall on the other side of the hallway, and Isak barely has the presence of mind to kick it closed behind him.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even whispers against his adam’s apple and yeah. That’s exactly how Isak feels too.

Isak is pushed against the wall and then Even’s mouth is covering his and it’s like his hands are everywhere all at once. Isak is panting, can barely breathe as they kiss, and he’s so gone on it that he almost forgets they’re still wearing coats and shoes.

Isak pushes at Even for a second, just long enough that he can unzip his jacket and as he works it over his shoulders, he watches Even do the same. His eyes are constantly on Isak, looking at the kilt, looking like he’s ready to eat him.

Isak can’t imagine anything better.

Even steps close, bends at the knees, lifts up the edges of the kilt so he can get his hands under it, and as they slide up he stands up as well. Isak throws his head back against the wall and his eyes close on their own volition. This is exactly what he’s wanted Even to do all night.

He opens his eyes and looks at Even looking back at him with those black eyes and Isak can’t wait anymore.

“I want you to blow me.”

And Even nods, turns more serious, “Fuck yes,” he mutters as he gets down on his knees. Isak can feel him grabbing the band of his briefs and soon they’re pushed down his legs as Even’s head disappears under the kilt.

Isak is so hard, has been for a while, and he’s back to throwing his head back against the wall the second Even gets his mouth on him.

Even is so good at this, knows just how to make Isak lose his breath with how he runs his tongue over the tip, how he knows just how to suck him right. Isak’s thighs are trembling in seconds and he’s been on edge most of the night and he just really wants to come.

But then he looks down and realizes that he can’t really see Even under his kilt. All he notices is Even’s head moving under the fabric and suddenly, he can’t bear that he doesn’t get to see Even’s pretty eyes in all that eyeliner. He needs it. So he pulls at Even, pulls at his shoulders as best as he can through the kilt, and even manages to string together words, “Even, stop.”

Even does immediately, lets go of his dick with a wet pop that makes Isak clench his teeth, and then he slowly leans back on his heels until his head appears from under the kilt.

Isak’s dick pulses with how fucking perfect Even looks now. The kilt has totally messed his hair up so it’s lying flat on his head, the red dye everywhere and he’s looking at Isak with big eyes and Isak just really wants Even’s dick in him.

“Up, up,” he mutters and pulls at Even, leaving him no choice but to get up from the floor.

As soon as he is, Isak starts pushing him towards their bedroom with his body and Even goes willingly. When they reach the bed, Isak pauses there to open Even’s belt, looking down as he works.

“Fuck, you look so good like this,” Even says and sounds every bit as turned on as Isak is.

Isak is so goddamn frantic now, is having problems with Even’s weird punk-belt. When he finally manages to get it open, he unzips him and tries to push the jeans down Even’s hips.

“Motherfucker,” he exclaims as it’s next to impossible to do anything with those jeans. They’re so tight that Isak can’t get them to do anything.

“I’ll do it,“ Even says and pushes Isak’s hands away. He starts squirming, rolls his hips from one side to the other as he pushes at the jeans, and they’re slowly starting to come down.

Isak barely manages to keep the laughter in from watching Even squirm like that.

“They might look sexy on, but they’re really not sexy coming off,” he says and Even looks up at him with big, happy eyes.

“No? Me wiggling my hips like this isn’t doing it for you?” he asks and Isak can’t keep the laughter in anymore.

“No, it is. You’re always sexy,” he says, doesn’t even think about it before it’s out, and Even stops his movements, pauses to look at Isak with that fond, tender look on his face and Isak has to kiss him. He has to.

He leans in and even though his dick is hurting by now, he still gives Even a sweet kiss, gentle and slow and so at odds with how the rest of him is feeling. But then Even makes this sound in his throat and it makes Isak sweat all over, makes his blood boil and he just needs Even dick in him now.

“Hurry up!” he mutters against Even’s lips and then he leans over to grab the lube. He barely has the patience for Even to push his pants and briefs down far enough that his dick springs out, before he pushes him down to sit on the bed and just crawls into his lap.

Isak pours a generous amount onto his fingers, but when he tries to reach behind him, the kilt is in the way.

“Fuck, Even. You have to hold it up,” he says and Even scrambles to do so, puts his arms around Isak and takes hold of it. The air feels cold against Isak’s ass, but it gives him room to work.

He’s never opened himself up this fast before. He starts off with two fingers, just pushes them in and clenches his teeth to how that’s a bit much. But he wants Even so bad, can’t really be bothered with too much prep, so he starts fucking into himself with his fingers almost immediately, scissoring them, trying to loosen up. He tries to ignore the burn, tries to ignore the discomfort, because he knows that it’s going to be good as soon as Even’s inside of him.

He pulls his fingers out much sooner than he normally would and grabs the lube to pour another generous amount onto his hand. He scoots back and wraps it around Even’s dick, making Even curses.

Isak doesn’t care now, just wants that beautiful dick inside of him. So he gets up on his knees, lifts the kilt up in the front with one hand as he steadies Even’s dick with the other. And then he lines it up where he wants it the most.

The blunt pressure of the head against his rim is setting his body on fire, is making him pant even harder and he doesn’t even have it in him to kiss Even now. Even is sucking a mark on his throat, right where shoulder meets neck, and Isak focuses on that, on the good pain Even’s mouth gives him as he tries to bear down enough to force Even’s dick in.

It’s a tight fit, almost too tight and as the head breaches him, Isak immediately realizes that he should’ve prepped more. It burns right away, almost too much, and he tries to breathe through it, tries to relax, but it’s taking more effort than he has in him right now.

He pushes himself further down, clenches his eyes and jaw at the burn, at the slight whiff of pain, and he almost doesn’t notice how tense Even is under him before he starts to speak.

“Fuck, Isak. You’re going too fast, baby. Slow down.”

But Isak doesn’t want to slow down, he just wants to get Even’s dick inside and he keeps sinking down, focuses on how aching his balls are, how fucking hard his dick still is, even through the burn.  

And then Even leans in to kiss him, covers his mouth with those sinful lips, but Isak is too focused on what’s going on inside of him to really be able to kiss back. It’s not until Even sucks Isak’s lower lip into his mouth that Isak starts to kiss back. Even takes charge of the kiss, pushes his tongue into Isak’s mouth, makes sure that he can’t clench his teeth, rubs his lips against Isak’s in that delicious way that makes Isak moan every single time, and just like that, it gets easier to slide down the rest of the way on Even’s dick.

It doesn’t take long before he’s sitting in Even’s lap, his dick all the way inside of him, and it pulses and it burns, but it’s the good kind now. Isak sits still for a while, gets more used to having that big dick inside of him and Even’s grip on his kilt loosens as he slides his hands down to Isak’s hips instead.

Isak leans back from the kiss a bit, just for a second, just to be able to see how affected Even looks, if he’s just as desperate as Isak. And fuck. He’ll never get used to what he can turn Even into.

Looking at him, sitting like that in front of him, black eyes eager, pupils blown, eyeliner starting to smear from sweat, hair falling down over his face, and still dressed up, is making Isak slack-mouthed, is making him desperate to move, so he does.

Even still feels so big inside of him, so Isak starts out with slow rolling movements, just to make the fit less tight. There’s still a burn, but it’s definitely not as overwhelming as before and he knows that it’ll disappear soon if he just continues doing this.

He keeps his eyes on Even, looks at him biting his lip, making it even redder, even more abused, and it’s hard staying away, hard to not just put his own lips back on Even’s and lose himself in that, but he holds back. Instead, he slides one of his hands up to Even’s face, puts his thumb on his lip and pulls it away from his teeth. Pushes his thumb into Even’s mouth instead and Even starts sucking immediately. Those hollow cheeks make Isak’s dick weep and makes him move quicker.

“Your mouth,” Isak moans.

He can’t look away from it. It makes him speed up, but instead of just moving his hips, he starts to use his thighs as well, lifts himself up and slides down on Even’s dick, and the way Even fits inside of him lights him up all over.

He just wants more, so he does it again, moves up a little bit further on Even’s dick and this time, he slams down on it and the sound of skin slapping against skin is pornographic. He leans back, puts his hands behind him on Even’s thighs and the way that changes the angle inside of Isak makes them both moan.

Even puts a hand on the junction between Isak’s neck and shoulder, and his hand is so big and his fingers so long that his thumb is resting on Isak’s adam’s apple and the rest of his fingers are wrapped over Isak’s shoulder and he uses that grip as leverage to help push Isak down on his dick.

It’s so fucking good, the way Even fits inside of him, how Isak always manages to accommodate him. It doesn’t matter how fucking rushed Isak gets, how bad he is with prep, his body finds a way to make sure he fits. Isak finds a way to make sure he fits.

The new position makes the fabric of the kilt rub against the sensitive tip of his dick and he tears his eyes away from Even to look down at it.

It’s weird not being able to see his dick, not being able to watch Even’s abs contract, but the kilt bunches up between them and covers everything. Despite the discomfort of the fabric against his dick, there’s something about not being able to see anything, but just to feel, that makes Isak moan and pant even harder, that makes him more desperate.

He starts to move faster, works his hips the way he knows Even loves, slams down on Even’s dick repeatedly, and it doesn’t take long before Even starts fucking up into him as best as he can. The grip on his shoulder turns almost painful. Even is pushing him down onto him hard now and Isak gets lost in how fucking gone Even looks. His entire face is scrunched up like he’s in pain, but Isak knows better. Even is spilling over with sounds, curses and praises and moans, and every single one makes Isak’s dick pulse.

It’s easy to see that Even is close to coming, easy to discern from the way he tries to bury himself inside of Isak with every rough push and the sounds he makes.

Isak loves it, could look at Even like this all day. He’s so beautiful when they’re together like this. He’s always beautiful, but there’s something about seeing him getting pleasure from Isak’s body that always makes Isak breathe harder and his heart swell. And this time is no different.

Even is starting to shake, small shivers that run through him, and Isak can feel it under his hands and against his thighs. Isak knows that Even is holding back, but Isak doesn’t want him to. There’s no way Isak could come like this, not with that fabric rubbing against his dick in that uncomfortable way, not with this angle and no way of touching his dick. Even’s making no move to, is probably too far gone for it.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t good. Isak could look at Even forever trying to hold back for Isak, lost to the pleasure. But now, Isak just really wants to see him come.

“Let go, Even,” he moans into the space between them and Even opens his eyes and looks straight at him like he can’t believe what Isak just said.

“But...” Even manages to say, but it’s so easy to see how badly he wants to. He looks like he can’t even find more words to tell Isak all the reasons he’s holding back.

So Isak makes it easy for him, smiles that devious half-smile that he knows Even can’t help but kiss away, and takes his hands away from Even’s thighs so he can lean in close to Even’s lips until he’s close enough to feel every breath Even takes against his lips.

And then Isak says, “Fill me up, baby.”

“Fuck,” Even mutters and then it only takes two more frantic thrusts before he’s coming, pushing himself inside of Isak as far as he can go, pulling Isak down on his dick and keeps him there as he unloads deep inside of him.

Isak pants with him, puts his arms around Even and holds him through it. Even’s face is buried in his neck and his pants leave goosebumps over his skin there. Feeling and hearing how desperate and good Even’s orgasm seems to be pushes Isak closer, makes his dick twitch and pushes another bead of precum out of it, and he can’t help but clench around Even harder. He rolls his hips softly, wants to prolong Even’s orgasm as long as possible.

Even soon turns slack in his arms, hangs onto Isak and just breathes against him, and Isak loves this. He leans back enough that he can catch Even’s lips and even though they’re still slack, Isak doesn’t care, just moves on to Even’s cheeks and his jaw, peppers small, wet kisses over them until Even has come down enough for him to start kissing back.

They stay like that for a while, kissing, breathing while Even calms, and Isak can slowly feel him getting softer inside of him. He knows that he’ll slip out at any moment now and Isak can’t help but think of all that cum inside of him, and it makes his dick twitch even more.

Even must feel it against his stomach, because he pulls away from the kiss and looks at Isak with those blown, black-rimmed eyes.

“Let’s take care of you now,” he says in a low, rough voice and Isak swallows against how badly he needs to come. He knows that Even will take good care of him.

Even starts pushing at him and Isak follows confused and stands up. He was sure that Even would wrap his large hand around his dick, make him come in no time, but instead, Even falls to his knees in front of him again, puts his head back under the kilt and before Isak knows it, his dick is engulfed in the wet heat of Even’s mouth.

“Shit!” Isak exclaims, immediately puts his hands on Even’s head, and he looks down to see Even’s head move under the kilt. Once again, he’s struck by the weirdness of not being able to see, he really wants to watch Even’s mouth around his dick, but this is good. It’s definitely different and he forgets his thoughts as Even puts his hands on his ass and just sinks down on him. Isak almost stops breathing once he feels Even’s nose against the base, the tight, tight clench of Even’s throat, and Isak can’t see straight.

There’s something about this, standing there with his dick buried in his boyfriend’s throat with his cum slowly trickling out of him, that sets Isak on fire. Isak can feel how it runs down his thighs and it’s almost too much. He feels used in the best of ways.

He’s moaning loudly, wants to make sure that Even can hear him from under the kilt, and Isak is so fucking close. His thighs are shaking from it and he locks his knees in order to keep standing.

“Fuck, Even. Just… fuck!” he mutters, pulls at Even’s head, wants him to get closer and deeper, just wants more, and Even seems to understand. While he’s working Isak’s dick so good, he slides a hand over his ass to his crack and then he puts two fingers inside of Isak. Isak is so sore there, so tender that it almost hurts, but it’s the good kind of hurt. Even has barely put them inside of him before he feels his balls pull up and he comes.

His grip on Even’s head tightens like he’s planning to keep him there, and he unloads himself inside of Even’s mouth. And it’s good, it’s just perfect the way Even swallows around him, making him come down his throat, and he can feel every movement of Even’s mouth against him acutely, like his entire world narrows down to that and the fingers barely moving in his ass. Isak is shaking and the orgasm runs through him, fills him up and makes him throw his head back and just surrender to it.

His ears are filled with the sound of the blood in his ears and his senses are on overload, not much else gets through. It makes Isak lose himself inside his head, makes all his thoughts and insecurities disappear for a few long seconds and he stays there, suspended in this pleasure for as long as he possibly can. It’s not until Even starts wiggling his head under his grip that Isak becomes aware of something other than himself and he slowly lets go of the tight grip there. As soon as he does, Even pulls back so his head pops out of the kilt and he’s breathing hard like he’s trying to catch his breath.

He looks perfect, all red and puffy lips and sweaty and Isak wants to kiss him stupid and eat him up at the same time. He loves it when he makes Even look like that. So wrecked.

Even looks up at him, eyeliner everywhere and Isak realizes how weak his legs are and gives into it, lets himself fall down onto his knees in front of Even and immediately starts to kiss him. He chases the taste of his cum inside Even’s mouth and Even whimpers against his lips. And he swallows that sound up as well.

Perfect.

The way Even’s mouth tastes makes Isak moan all over again, the way their tastes interact makes Isak want to do it all over again. He’ll never get over how right they are together.

When he finally pulls back, Even opens his eyes and he looks at him in wonder.

“So…” he says and starts to smile and Isak is pretty sure that he’s going to say something that’ll make him roll his eyes. “A kilt, huh?”

Isak smiles back, leans in to peck him one more time. “A kilt,” he says and nods one time.

“How are you feeling?” Even asks, and Isak knows what he’s really asking because of course Even knows. He understands just how big of a deal this is to Isak.

How the fuck did Isak get so lucky?

So he puts his hands around Even’s neck and smiles at him. “Well. I’m not going to be wearing floral dresses any second now, but this, I can do.”

And the responding way that Even smiles back at him, makes Isak’s skin tingle. Even looks so proud, so happy for him, and Isak would flush if he wasn’t already red from his recent orgasm.

“I hope this isn’t the last time you’re going to wear it because you look really hot.”

“Yeah?” Isak replies playfully. “I’m just going to have this as my only costume from now on?”

Even smiles and bites his lip. “Maybe I should get one too. Then we can go as the cute, Scottish gay couple.”

And okay, maybe it’s time that Isak puts more insecurities behind him than this one.

So he leans his forehead against Even’s, looks him deep in his eyes and whispers, “Yeah. Maybe we should do that.”

The happy laugh Even makes at that is everything.

He’s pretty sure that he can learn to overcome all his insecurities one by one if this is the reward he gets from it. As long as Even’s there with him every step of the way.

And the thing is, Isak knows that he will be.

He always is.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K is for kilt.
> 
> Today’s guessing game on the server was so much fun because nobody seemed to have any good guesses, but Wyo guessed it anyway (although I’m sure you couldn’t imagine you would be right with that guess…. ;)).
> 
> Thank you guys for all your help with the last few letters I’m having trouble with on my tumblr this week. I now know what I’m gonna do with I, but C, J, and L are still causing me a bit of trouble. I have a lot of suggestions for them, but I’m honestly not that inspired by what’s on my list so far. My mind will think of something but if you have some novel suggestions, please let me know. It might help me along. :)
> 
> If you guys are interested, I’ve posted S from Even’s POV in my Extras fic, and you can read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381242/chapters/31234887).


	16. T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m home sick (which is FUN! especially when you’ve just started a new job, let me tell you…), so I’ve spent some of the time writing. That’s why you’re getting a new chapter so soon, my friends. :)
> 
> Maugurt worked her magic real fast this time, and I so appreciate it, babe! ;)
> 
> As always, the letter is described in the endnotes if you can’t wait to find out. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Isak is sitting on the bed, straining his ears in order to maybe figure out what Even’s doing in the kitchen. He’s naked, just as Even instructed, and he’s half-hard with just the anticipation. He can’t really make sense of what Even’s doing in there, though. It almost sounds like he’s boiling water? And that sounds like he’s pulling something out of the freezer?

Isak is sorely tempted to sneak out into the hallway just to be able to look, but he curbs his curiosity, knows that he’ll find out in a matter of minutes.

And Even had told him to wait there. So he does.

His mind is working overtime, trying to sort through the language, looking for words that starts with T that this fits to. It’s so goddamn difficult to figure out what this is supposed to be, Even’s mind works so differently from his, so he’s just so screwed whenever it’s not something completely obvious. There’s just no way he can guess what Even’s come up with.

It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t try, though.

But he’s still unprepared when Even leaves the kitchen completely naked, except Isak isn’t really paying that much attention to that as to the two cups he’s carrying.

“What is that?” he asks, stretching his neck trying to see what’s in them but Even just smiles at him and shakes his head fondly.

“You’re so curious,” he says with laughter in his voice. “You know, if you just wait a few seconds, you’ll get to see for yourself.”

But Isak can’t wait. He’s just on the verge of getting up, but then Even is standing in front of him and with him follows the scent of that fruity tea Even likes to drink.

“T is for tea?” Isak asks incredulously. He has a really hard time seeing how that could be sexy, but he knows that if anyone is going to convince him otherwise, it’s going to be Even.

It makes Even laugh, though, makes him look at Isak like he’s real cute, and Isak smiles without even thinking about it. He just can’t help himself when he makes Even laugh.

“No. T isn’t for tea…” Even says and puts the cups down on the floor next to the bed, a little bit away from Isak’s feet, and Isak sees now that there’s only steam rising from one of the cups. The other one looks like water with ice cubes in it.

“I’m really confused right now,” he says, looking at the cups, and his mind is just drawing a complete blank. Yeah, he’s got nothing.

Even keeps smiling at him as he gets down on his knees and puts his hands on Isak’s thighs, making Isak look at him instead.

“Let me make it clear for you then,” he says, and his smile turns dirty as he talks. He lowers his chin so he’s looking at Isak through his lashes.

Isak’s dick twitches and his own smile falters a bit seeing Even like this. He’s always weak for Even, but it’s never quite as obvious as when Even turns it on for Isak, when he really tries to make himself irresistible.

“First, we got to set the mood,” Even says in a low voice that shoots straight to Isak’s dick, makes his mouth open and his heart beat faster. Even slides his big hands slowly up Isak’s legs, from his knees to his thighs, and he pushes at them so Isak has no choice but to spread them a bit. When Even seems happy with that he slides his hands further up Isak’s legs and Isak is holding his breath, waiting to see if Even will put them on his dick. But Even just slides them around Isak and puts them on the top of his ass instead.

“And then we have to get you into position.” And he pulls Isak towards him, scooting him forward on the bed until Isak is sitting on the edge, legs spread around Even.

“And then….” he says and looks up at Isak as he wraps his hand around Isak’s rapidly hardening dick, making Isak sigh, and he can’t look away from Even. He’s overwhelmingly seductive when he wants to be and Isak loves every second of it. “We have to get you hard.”

And then he starts stroking Isak, moves his hand up and down and his face is so close to it, so close that Isak swears he can feel his breaths against it, and Even keeps working him, even though he’s already as hard as he’s going to get.

His toes curl against the floor and he fists the duvet, but he doesn’t close his eyes. He keeps looking into Even’s, sees how his pupils are starting to dilate, sees how he keeps that dirty smile on his face like he knows just how badly he affects Isak.

He does. The fucker so does, and he’s clearly out to wreck Isak.

And Isak already feels like he’s getting there, his mind a blur of how good Even’s hand feels on his dick and all the possibilities of what Even has in mind for him.

“And then, I’ll get you good and wet,” he whispers, keeps looking at Isak as he puts his tongue out and licks over the head. He hums at the taste of Isak’s precum like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. And it’s all Isak can do to keep his hands at his side and not just grab Even’s head and push him down on his dick, all the way down his throat.

Even licks a stripe up the length of it with a broad, soft tongue and Isak flushes from how pornographic Even looks like this, with those _lips_ and those eyes and that small smile still playing at his mouth. Nothing has ever looked better than Even at this moment and Isak just wants it all. Wants whatever Even has in mind for him.

Even closes his mouth over Isak’s tip, sucks at it gently, just enough for his cheeks to hollow, and Isak can’t stand it anymore, he _has_ to touch him. So he puts his hand on top of Even’s on his thigh and Even’s little finger catches Isak’s and it anchors Isak to the moment. Just that small touch is enough. He leans back on his other hand behind him and lets Even do his thing.

But Even releases him the moment Isak leans back, and Isak can’t help the whine that escapes him. Even just holds up his finger as if to tell Isak to wait and then he takes the cup and drinks from it. His cheeks bulge and he holds it in his mouth for a few long seconds, while still keeping eye contact with Isak, and then he swallows.

Isak is just about to ask him what he’s doing, he’s so incredibly confused, but then Even just leans in and engulfs Isak’s dick. His mouth is so cold and it feels so different from anything Isak’s ever felt before.

It’s a shock to the system, wakes up every nerve in his body, and in his dick especially, and Isak folds over Even while exclaiming, “Ah!”

Even pulls back but keeps Isak’s sensitive tip in his mouth, and the coldness of his mouth is making shivers run over Isak’s body. Even’s lips stretch over his dick into a small smile and when he pulls all the way off, the contrast of the warmness of the room makes Isak’s dick throb.

“T is for temperature,” Even says and puts his mouth back on Isak again, and this time, he sinks down on it much further.

Isak can’t keep the sounds in. The coldness is so different, so strange, but Even’s mouth feels so good. Even is sucking and moaning around him and Isak can feel it in his _toes_.

Even keeps at it, keeps sinking down on Isak’s dick and his mouth is slowly getting warmer. Isak is starting to sweat, he’s finding it difficult to keep his legs still and his toes are working against the floor. It’s close to being too much, but it’s still so good. It sends all these confusing sensations to his brain and it’s overwhelming in the best of ways.

He’s just getting used to it when Even pops off and reaches for the other cup. This one is still steaming and now that Isak understands what Even is doing, he can’t help but mutter, “Fuck!” at the sight of Even sipping the warm tea and holding it in his mouth.

Even’s going to be so _warm_. Isak’s heart is beating hard in his chest in anticipation and his mouth is turning dry.

As soon as Even has swallowed, Isak’s dick is back in his mouth and holy _fuck_ , Isak has never experienced anything quite like that before. His dick is engulfed in soft, wet heat, everything is so warm and he almost can’t breathe from it.

And then Even starts sucking hard and Isak throws his head back and clenches his eyes to it. It’s just on the right side of too much, but the heat makes up for the tight suction. Even sinks down on him, buries his nose in Isak’s curls at the base, and Isak can’t keep the noises in. He’s muttering _fuck_ and _yeah_ and _good_ and _more_ and it’s all he can focus on.

Everything narrows down to Even’s mouth and what it’s doing.

Isak is clenching his abs, fisting his hands in the duvet, tightening his muscles in his legs and he’s barely holding back. It’s getting harder and harder not to move, not to just push himself further into that warm, sinful mouth but he tries to hold back.

Even pops off him with a wet sound that makes Isak’s dick throb and Isak slowly opens his eyes to see Even pick up the cup with the cold water again. He looks at Isak over the rim of the cup, clearly enjoying seeing what he’s doing to Isak, and Isak can totally understand why. He feels wrecked already. He’s panting and starting to sweat, and he knows how much Even loves it when he’s like this.

When Even puts his mouth back on Isak it’s almost too much, too cold. The contrast between how warm his dick still is and how cold Even’s mouth is now makes Isak groan and put his hand on Even’s shoulder. He just tightens his grip on it but doesn’t push him away, though. He’s torn between how cold Even’s mouth is but how good it feels on his dick. So in the end, he just keeps his hand there, undecidedly. But it feels good to touch Even, to have his hand on him.

It makes everything more real, makes it more difficult for him to lose himself in all the pleasure that Even is giving him.

Even lets go of Isak’s dick and, instead, leans up to lick at his nipples, and Isak moans way too loudly at how strange that sensation is. His nipples grow hard in seconds and the coolness of Even’s tongue makes him even more sensitive there, makes every stroke of that broad tongue excruciatingly better than it normally is.

When Even leans back once more and picks up the warm tea, Isak is a mess on the bed. He’s breathing way too hard and he feels how sweat is starting to pool on his forehead, making his hair wet with it.

He’s never experienced anything like it before. That change in temperature is really adding a whole other dimension to the blowjob and the promise of that delicious warm mouth, that he knows is coming, is making Isak impatient.

“Come on,” he mutters and starts pulling at Even to get him closer.

Just when he hears Even swallow the tea, Even opens his mouth and engulfs Isak. Isak moans and moans, can’t keep the sounds in that that mouth coaxes out of him, and he looks at Even’s lips spread over his dick and he’s never seen anything better in his whole life.

Even swallows him down again, just sinks down over his length until Isak feels Even’s throat constrict around him, and Isak can’t hold still anymore. He just can’t. Not when Even’s mouth is making him feel so good, his entire body tingling, and he has to move.

So he does.

A small thrust, barely a movement of his hips, but Even makes a choking sound at it and pulls off. That choking sound melts Isak’s insides, makes him frantic in a way he can’t remember ever being before, and although he should be concerned for Even’s comfort, wants to be concerned, he just wants Even back on his dick. Wants that delicious heat engulfing him again.

“Use the trick with your thumb, baby,” Isak says and guides Even back to his dick with his grip on Even’s shoulder.

Even looks up at him with wet eyes, like he knows what it does to Isak (he does, he so does, Isak loves him), and then he sinks down on Isak again. He keeps his eyes on Isak the whole time, lets him see the tears forming in his them as he stretches his throat around Isak’s dick, and then he stays there, blinks a few times, and then moans.

Isak’s entire body is on high alert, every nerve in his body seems to be firing simultaneously when the vibrations shoot through him. That moan reverberates through his entire body, makes every muscle in his body tense up, and he’s not sure he’ll ever quite be the same again.

He’s barely able to hold back, fights the way Even’s sounds are making his blood boil and his entire body shake. He desperately wants to move his hips, but he doesn’t want Even to choke again.

Even pulls back a bit, breathes hard through his nose a few times with Isak’s dick still in his mouth, and then he just sinks down on it again and hums like Isak’s dick is the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth.

Fuck. _Fuck!_

That’s it for Isak’s self-control. He thrusts minutely again against Even’s mouth and Even keeps looking at him with those big, wide eyes like he’s saying _go for it_. Isak wants to, oh god, does he want to, but he needs Even to say it with more than just his eyes.

Even pulls back again, just enough that he can breathe, and then he takes Isak’s hand from his shoulder and puts it on his head instead. Instead of lowering his own hand, he puts it up into the air, and after making sure that Isak is looking, he folds his fingers, pushes his thumb into the meat of his palm, and fuck yeah.

Although there’s no doubt that Even wants this as well now, Isak waits as Even sinks down on him again, and his mouth is still so warm that Isak feels it in his _toes_. Once Isak feels Even swallow around him like he’s trying to egg him on, Isak thrusts up into Even’s mouth. It’s a small, tentative thrust like he’s trying it out because he hasn’t really done this intentionally with Even before. But Even just moans and that makes Isak a bit more courageous.

He thrusts again, uses the muscles of his ass to push his dick further down Even’s throat, and seeing Even’s nostrils dilate to get air into his lungs is somehow making Isak even more frantic. His balls are starting to ache with it and he feels how his orgasm is rushing towards him, quickened by the way Even keeps looking up at him.

Having those eyes on him makes Isak fall apart, makes him feel like he’s ripping at the seams. So he stops holding back.

He puts his weight back on the arm behind him so he has leverage, and then he just rolls his hips and holy fuck. Even just takes him so good. Isak could watch him with his dick in his mouth all day if it was possible. But the franticness is slowly taking over and he rolls his hips again, and then again when Even still seems to be taking what Isak is giving him. It feels like he pushes his dick further and further down Even’s throat with each roll of his hips.

Isak is full on panting now, has sweat rolling down his forehead, dripping from his nose. His eyelids are fluttering, threatening to close any second now, but he desperately wants to keep watching Even.

Even is a revelation.

He’s sweating too, moaning loudly around Isak’s dick with each thrust, and his eyes are spilling over with tears. He looks so good like this, pupils blown, hair falling down his forehead, and it’s so obvious how much he’s enjoying this.

Isak wishes he could do this all day, but everything just adds up, the way Even looks, the way he’s looking at Isak and how good his mouth feels, it’s all making Isak’s balls pull up tight to his body and making his dick pulse with the imminent release.

“Shit, Even. I’m coming, I’m…” Isak sputters, doesn’t quite know how much sense he’s making as his mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton from breathing through it for so long.

And then with one final deep thrust, he’s pushed over.

Even chokes around him and the tightness of his throat makes Isak’s grip onto his hair harder. Not to keep him there, but because it feels so good against his sensitive dick that he needs something to ground him.

He starts shooting down Even’s throat and Even makes a whining sound and starts pulling off, but Isak is still coming. The next rope of cum lands inside Even’s mouth, and then he pulls completely off, breathing heavily while still looking up at Isak. Isak shoots over Even’s mouth next, just as his lips release him, catching Even by surprise. But he soldiers through it, puts his hand around Isak’s dick and starts stroking as he puts his tongue out and lets Isak finish there.

Even looks perfect like this, his cheeks wet, face flushed and sweaty and his tongue being coated with Isak’s cum. It pushes another glob out of Isak, makes him shake even harder and tighten his grip on Even’s hair to the point where he’s sure it must hurt by now. But Even just moans and licks at the head of Isak’s dick, like Isak’s cum is the best thing he’s ever tasted and it does things to Isak. To see how much his boyfriend is into him.

Isak wishes he had more to give, more cum in him to feed Even, because he looks like he’s enjoying himself almost as much as Isak is.

Once Isak finishes, his body loses all tension and he’s left sitting there, slumped in on himself, shaking and panting with small shivers running through his body from where Even is still touching his dick. From where he’s licking it like he needs to get every drop of cum off it. It’s almost too much, but Isak bears it. Seeing Even desperate like this is making him wish he could do it all over again.

And then Even gets up, fast, like he’s been waiting for Isak to be completely done, and just pushes at Isak, until he lies down.

Even is moving so fast that Isak doesn’t even have time to realize what’s going on and then Even is kissing him, pushing his tongue into his mouth. The taste of his cum inside of Even’s mouth always makes Isak’s toes curl, always makes him moan, it’s just too perfect, and this time, it’s no different.

And then Even lets go of his mouth and crawls up his body on his knees and doesn’t stop until he’s sitting on Isak’s chest with his legs on each side of him. He lifts up on his knees a bit, leans in over Isak, and with a steady hand on his dick, he puts the wet tip against Isak’s mouth and Isak opens to it immediately. He lets Even feed him his dick, fast and rough while he just lies there and takes it.

Once Even’s dick is in, he starts thrusting these shallow, short thrusts that are making Even loud. He’s still looking down at Isak, still has his eyes locked on his and Isak makes sure he looks back.

He knows he’s not the only one who enjoys the sight of his boyfriend with a dick in his mouth, so he hollows his cheeks, makes sure that the noises when Even pulls back are sloppy and wet and Even mutters _fuck!_ and then he’s coming in Isak’s mouth.

Isak focuses on swallowing, focuses on not choking from how he’s lying, lets Even empty himself inside his mouth to the very last drop. He loves this, loves that he can make Even frantic like that, loves that he knows that Isak can take it.

He keeps looking at Even who’s finally closed his eyes now, face contorted in pleasure, and the sight makes him moan around Even’s dick. Even coming will never not make Isak feel like the king of the world. He did that. He’s responsible for the pleasure that Even is feeling at this moment and he can’t imagine seeing anything better.

When Even is done, when he pushes the last drops of cum onto Isak’s eager tongue, he slumps and sits there for a couple of seconds, just breathing. He opens his eyes and looks down at Isak briefly before he shuffles down Isak’s body so he can kiss him.

And Isak wasn’t expecting that kind of kiss. Normally, they share soft, loving kisses after coming, but this one is dirty from the get-go. Even just pushes his tongue into Isak’s mouth, like he’s chasing the cum still coating it, like he wants to lick it out of his mouth. It makes Isak heat up again from how Even loves that just as much as he does, and it makes him feel so fucking blessed that he’s not alone with this.

“Shit. Even,” he pants out when Even finally pulls back, and the smile that breaks out over his face as Isak looks at him in awe makes Isak smile too. He’s powerless against Even’s smile.

“Yeah,” Even just says.

“Temperature? I just…” Isak starts, desperately trying to find words that will explain to Even just how much he just blew his mind. “That was perfect.”

“Yeah.”

Isak can’t help but laugh at the deadpan way Even says it, with so much confidence, like he just knew how much Isak would love it, and maybe that’s the best feeling there is in the world. Laughing with his boyfriend after just having come his brains out.

Yeah. It might just be.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T is for temperature.
> 
> So apparently this one was really hard to guess because it took almost every T-word in the English language before Noora came and guessed it. You’re really good at that, Noora… ;)
> 
> With all this extra time I also sat down and planned the last 10 chapters, so I now know what all the letters will be. What a fantastic feeling! :)
> 
> I really want to thank all of you who have made suggestions. I wouldn’t have been able to think of “activities” (ahem) for 26 letters without you… ;)
> 
> I’m almost done working on my 1-year fic and I can’t wait to share it with you guys on the 27th. I’ll try and see if I have time to write another AA chapter before that’s posted, but I can’t guarantee it. Just so you guys know. :)
> 
> I hope you all have a great weekend!


	17. N

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s been a while? But I hope you enjoyed the three chapters of Not the End and my 1-year anniversary fic that I posted in this small break… ;) ;)
> 
> Nessauepa, babe. You know what’s to come now that I’ve mentioned you…. ;) I don’t think it’s quite what you imagined, but I hope you’re still happy with it… ;) ;)
> 
> Maugurt betaed this and honey. You’re just the best. <3
> 
> The letter is explained in the endnotes if you want to be spoiled.

It’s a regular Tuesday morning. They’re both rushing through their morning routines, stepping around each other like some sort of intricate dance. They’ve got this down to perfection now to the point where it’s almost hard to remember a time when it wasn’t like that. 

It’s not until Isak joins Even at the table, pouring milk over the cereal Even’s already put in the bowl for him, that Even starts talking. Isak loves that about him, that he respects how Isak isn’t really that good with words when he has to get up this early.

“It’s your turn.”

Isak looks at him, blinks a few times, and he totally blames how early it is for the fact that it takes him that long to catch on.

“Oh,” he says and looks around trying to see where the bag with the letters are.

Even just smiles at him and points at the bag already lying next to Isak’s bowl, because of course he comes prepared.

Isak rolls his eyes at him but smiles through it anyway. He can’t with how happy Even can be this early in the morning.  

He gets it over with quickly, ignores how few letters are left in the bag now and turns the piece of paper in his hand to be able to see.

“I hope it’s a good one,” Even says and stretches his neck to be able to see.

“N,” Isak says, drawing it out in a long sound while he’s thinking. “As in nipple… clamps?”

He can’t help but laugh when he sees Even’s scandalized face. Even puts his hands on his chest, over his nipples, and leans back in the chair as he says, “You’re not getting near these nipples with clamps.”

“Okay, baby,” Isak says and gets up to kiss Even, he’s just too cute not to. “I won’t hurt your sensitive nipples. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You better,” Even says but looks at him in that way where the smile is playing right under his eyes.

They spend the rest of the breakfast coming up with more and more ridiculous things that N could be ( _ nasty, nice, nut?? _ ) and Isak is actually in a good mood as he leaves for school. Only Even can get him in a good mood before 8 in the morning.

\--||--

Even is by the table, sorting their clean laundry. He’s saved the socks for last and he’s grumbling his way through pairing them up. 

“How come we have like 40 pairs of socks between us but each one is different?” he starts and Isak just _hmm_ s because he knows that more is coming. “Next time we buy socks, we’ll just buy like 20 of the same so I don’t have to fucking do this over and over again.”

“Sure babe,” Isak says placatingly. He’s been pretending not to be waiting for Even to be done with the socks for 10 minutes now. He’s so ready for Even to finish so he can start what he’s planned.

As soon as Even throws the last pair of balled-up socks down the drawer and closes it, Isak tries to get his attention.

“Even…” he says in a low voice, but Even doesn’t appear to hear him. “Even,” he tries again, this time a bit higher, and now he catches Even’s attention.

Isak lowers his chin, looks at Even through his eyelashes and smiles that cocky half-smile that he knows Even loves.

“Yeah?” Even asks and takes a step towards Isak. He’s already all smile, the kind of playful one that tells Isak that he’s already on board.

“No, don’t come closer,” Isak says fast and stops Even in his tracks. He looks at Isak with raised eyebrows, but Isak just shakes his head. “Stay there.”

“Okay?” Even asks but stays.

And Isak has to swallow hard. He’s a little bit nervous even though he knows he has no reason to be. He’s pretty sure that Even is going to love what he has in mind.

He keeps his eyes on Even’s as he starts getting undressed. He slowly peels his hoodie off, then his t-shirt and as he starts fiddling with the buttons of his pants, it’s easy to see that Even’s getting affected by what he’s doing. Even is completely focused on him, is looking intently at where Isak is playing with the buttons, drawing it out. He wants to tease Even a little bit with this.

When Isak can see Even swallow, he pops the first button and it makes Even lick his lips. Encouraged by how affected Even already seems to be, Isak pops the next button and then the next.

He’s starting to get affected too, is chubbing up a bit just from watching how attentive Even is.

When he pushes the pants over his hips and down his legs, he can see Even make an aborted motion, like he’s fighting staying put. And Isak loves it. He wants to see if how hard he can make it for Even to do what Isak asks of him.

Isak pushes his socks off along with his pants and then he’s standing there in just his boxers.

“Now it’s your turn,” he says.

Even catches on fast. He looks at Isak as he starts undressing, looks at Isak as if he wants to eat him and yeah. Isak wouldn’t mind that. He’s chubbing up a bit more with all the promise Even holds in his eyes.

Once Even is completely naked, he straightens, stands up at full height and just lets Isak look at him.

Fuck. He’s so gorgeous. Isak wants to go to him and touch him all over. Thumb over those nipples, run his fingers down that smooth skin of his chest, curl his fingers around that pretty dick hanging between his legs.

But he doesn’t. He has  _ plans _ .   

“Lie down on the bed,” he says in a husky voice and can’t help the way his heart starts to beat faster as Even does.

Without question, without anything. He just does what Isak tells him to do. It’s an amazing feeling.

Once he’s there, settled in on the bed, Isak steps close to him.

“I want you to put your arms over your head.”

Even looks at him with raised eyebrows, clearly intrigued, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he simply stretches his arms over his head and puts his body on display as he does.

But Isak isn’t easily distracted, not this time.

“You’re not allowed to touch me. No matter what I do, your hands stay there, okay?”

“I can’t touch you?” Even repeats and he sounds kind of unhappy about it.

But Isak just smiles at him, knows that he’ll love it when he finds out what exactly Isak has in mind.

“No. N is for no hands.”

“Ah, shit. Okay,” Even smiles and he makes a point out of showing Isak that he pushes his hands down on the bed, like a promise that they’ll stay above his head.

And just like that, Isak has him exactly how he wants him, for him to do with just what he wants.

It’s a fantastic feeling, and seeing Even lying like that in front of him gives him the confidence to go through with what he has in mind. 

Isak takes a step closer, makes it slow and as sensual as he possibly can. He puts his fingers under the elastic of his briefs and runs them along the edge, just teasing, and he flushes a bit from how Even seems mesmerized by what he’s doing. He’s looking intently at his hands, following his every move. Exactly as Isak hoped he would.

Isak pushes down the side of his briefs, exposing one side of his v, and he runs his finger along the edge there.

Even licks his lips and doesn’t take his eyes off Isak’s fingers. So Isak continues, pushes the other side down, so far down that his trail of hair can be seen, and puts a hand over his dick and rubs it through the fabric. Gently, slowly. Teases Even with it. 

“You like what you see?” he asks, lets his voice be low and seductive, tries not to feel stupid as he does. 

But Even just mutter  _ yeah _ , still completely mesmerized by what Isak’s hand is doing and it makes Isak even more courageous. 

He turns around, makes sure that Even will be able to see what he’s doing, and then he slowly, slowly pushes his briefs over his ass, arching his back a bit so that it really stands out. 

Even makes a strangled sound behind him and the fact that Even gets so turned on just by looking at Isak makes Isak’s dick throb.

Isak turns his head so he can look at Even over his shoulder, “You want to touch this?” he asks as his ass is revealed completely and Even _mmm_ s and bites his lip. And fuck. That’s such a good look on him. 

Isak grabs one ass cheek, kneads it a bit all the while looking at Even, eager to see his response to what he’s doing. 

“Isak!” Even mutters and it could mean anything from a  _ you look so good _ to a  _ hurry the fuck up _ .

It makes Isak smile, though, Makes him feel powerful how he can make Even sound like that. Just by touching his own ass. So he slowly bends over as he slides the briefs down his legs, arching his back and putting on a show for Even. And the moan Even makes at that reverberates through his entire body.

As soon as the briefs touch the floor, he gets up, turns around and walks even closer to Even. He lets himself look, slowly slides his gaze all over his body, gives himself time to just take Even in as he lies there on the bed, looking irresistible. Because he does. It makes Isak want to just forget about his plans and lean in and kiss and lick him everywhere.

But on the other hand, he’s quite enjoying messing with Even a bit. He wants to see if he can make him lose control, if he can tease him enough that he can’t hold back anymore. Isak wants to push his hands away and demand that he stays put.

It’s his mission tonight to get him to that point.

So he stays. Stands at the side of the bed and keeps looking at Even, lets his dick fill out as he does. The sight of Even ready for him always makes him so hard. And the sight of Even getting hard from looking at Isak getting hard? Yeah, that’s just enough to almost make him desperate for more.

Isak leans over to the dresser, pulls out the bottle of the massage oil they used a while back and pours a healthy amount on his hand. He tosses the bottle onto the bed and starts rubbing his hands together, getting them warmed up, nice and wet.

“Are you going to be good for me, Even?” he asks and can’t contain the smirk anymore. He loves this, loves how eagerly Even nods in return. It wouldn’t have been quite like this just a few weeks ago.

“Good. Just keep lying there like that,” he starts and as he speaks, he puts his hands on his own chest, rubs it with oil, lets his voice get a bit breathless as he starts rubbing his fingers over his nipples. “And I’ll eventually get to you.”

Even makes a strangled groan that makes Isak’s balls ache, and it’s so obvious how much Even loves it. He’s starting to flush, skin slowly starting to redden, and his dick is lying hard against his stomach, pulsing and twitching as his eyes follow Isak’s every move.

One hand is slowly making its way down Isak’s chest, down to his stomach where he starts tracing his abs with his forefinger. He knows how much it drives Even crazy, how he loves to lick the lines between them, make Isak tremble and frantic just from using his tongue there. He hopes that’s what Even is thinking about right now. And it seems like it is. Because he’s licking his lips repeatedly like he’s remembering just how good is it to taste that particular bit of skin.

Isak is slow and meticulous. Lets himself enjoy how good it feels to play with his nipples like this, how sensitive his skin gets as he keeps rubbing his fingers along the ridges of his abs. How fucking perfect Even looks as his eyes are turning glassy, pupils dilating even more.

Fuck. Isak didn’t think it would affect him quite this much, but he doesn’t fight it.

His hand finally goes lower, slowly makes the skin where his hip turn into thigh wet and glistening. As he cups his balls, he can’t help but close his eyes, throw his head back and moan. It just feels so good to finally touch himself there. They’re throbbing in his hands, moving against the heat and he gently massages each one, gets them slippery before his hand slowly slides up and he wraps his fingers around his dick.

His moan as he does is so loud that it fills the room. Although his eyes are closed, he can perfectly picture how Even is looking at him and it makes his dick throb knowing that Even is probably just as affected as he is himself. He gently coats it in the oil, teasing himself, teasing Even. As he finally opens his eyes, he looks straight at Even, and he can’t help but moan at the sight. Reality is so much better than the fantasy he had playing behind his eyelids.

Even’s head is lifted from the bed, tendons straining against his skin from holding him up and he’s starting to sweat now. His feet are curling and uncurling against the bedspread and he’s so hard that it floods Isak’s mouth just looking at it. It makes Isak stroke himself, just once, and he makes it one of the really good ones. All tight and hard and perfect. It makes Isak pant and makes him want to move a bit faster.

He puts a knee on the bed and the hand that was playing with his nipple slowly moves down his body and around until it’s at his ass.

“I’m going to finger myself now, baby. Put all those fingers inside of me while I look at you,” and as he says that, he pushes the first finger in, making his voice break a bit in the middle of it.

Even opens his mouth at it. He’s panting now as well and it’s all Isak can do not to kiss him.

“Can I look? Please, Isak. Let me watch it,” he begs so prettily, and it sends electricity down Isak’s spine, pooling in his stomach, hearing how perfect he sounds.

“No baby, not tonight,” Isak just says and smiles at how disappointed Even looks at it. “We’ll do that another day, okay?”

Even nods and Isak loves how his eyes keep lingering at Isak’s arm, watching the muscles work there. 

Isak moves up the bed, slowly walks on his knees until he’s as close to Even as he can get without straddling him. He takes his hand away from his own dick and wraps it around Even’s.

He strokes it, but keeps the movements light and too gentle, teasing instead of building, makes sure that it gets coated in oil as well. But it’s enough that Even throws his head back in the pillow, clenches his eyes shut and hisses through his teeth.

“Fuck, Isak.”

Yeah. Isak agrees so much, but he just keeps it up. He loves how Even is starting to thrash on the bed, pushing his hips up into Isak’s hand. Clearly getting frustrated with how light Isak is keeping the touch.

He lets go of Even’s dick and grabs the lube.

“Pour some more on my hand, baby,” he says. 

This is a lesson he learned from the last time. It’s almost impossible to open that oil when you’re coated with it. He still has a finger in his own ass, and it feels too good to pull out. So all in all, it’s easier to get Even to do it. And it doesn’t escape his notice just how Even’s hands are starting to shake. He’s further along than Isak expected, but that just adds to it. It doesn’t quite make him hurry up, but it makes Isak’s dick twitch between his legs.

Even pours too much over Isak’s hand, but Isak just lets it drip down on Even’s body, and it gives him an idea.

“Rub it into your skin, baby.”

Even looks at him with wide happy eyes as he does, and there are so much love and trust there that Isak has to swallow down emotions that are not really for this moment. Or shouldn’t be. Of course, they’ll find a way to make this sappy. But that’s not for now.

Even closes the lid of the oil and carelessly throws it to the side and then he returns Isak’s favor. He rubs the oil on his chest, makes it wet and perfect to look at and this time, it’s Isak who can’t look away.

His hands start to slip lower and lower until he’s almost at his dick, and just as Even starts reaching for it, Isak realizes what he’s doing and he huffs out a laugh.

“Na-ah. You can’t touch yourself,” he says and Even huffs in return, but smiles as he does. He knows he’s being naughty. “Put your arms back over your head.”

And Isak can’t keep the finger still inside himself as Even does. He just responds so beautifully to everything Isak asks him to do. It makes Isak feel powerful, in control in a way he hasn’t quite tried before. 

“Put your legs up and to the side, baby.”

And Even does, eyes heavy on Isak the whole time he just puts his legs together and leans them over to the side, opening himself up to Isak. His torso twisting so beautifully that it makes Isak’s mouth dry.

“Yeah, look at you. So perfect,” Isak can’t help but say and loves how that makes the red of Even’s skin descend even lower.

“Come on!” Even says and he sounds desperate in a way that Isak revels in. He made him like that. It’s a heady feeling and it makes Isak feel desperate as well.

He knows that it’s a hard position to be in like this, with his arms over his head, but Even makes it look almost effortless. He’s clearly so far along that he doesn’t really care about comfort anymore.

Isak keeps his finger inside of himself as he puts his other hand on Even’s ass, slides it over his crack so he can get his hole wet and then he just unceremoniously pushes two fingers inside of Even at once.

Even moans so loudly that Isak just wishes he could have recorded that sound. Keep it forever, because fuck, Even sounds perfect when he’s like this. Desperate for Isak’s dick, riding along the edge of  _ give it to me now _ and  _ tease me a bit longer _ .

His plan was to tease Even longer, rub his hole and draw it out for a while, but Isak just can’t. Everything about this is doing it for him. How Even is so pliant and easy for him. His own dick is throbbing, balls already starting to pull up tight to his body and he desperately wants his dick inside of Even now.

He twists his fingers inside of Even, scissors them, trying to get Even ready as soon as possible and he can’t help but glance down to see his fingers working inside of him.

“You just take my fingers so well,” Isak mutters, low and rough and he finally pulls his finger out of his own ass so he can put his hand on Even’s thigh. He pushes at it, opening Even up even more for him to look, and Isak quickly adds a third finger.

Even starts making these groaning sounds, and Isak reluctantly tears his eyes away from the mind-blowing sight of his fingers fucking into Even to look up at him instead.

And fuck.  _ Fuck!  _ Even looks so gone. His eyes are shut tight and his hands have found their way into his hair and he’s holding onto it tightly, fisting and pulling on it. He’s clearly doing his best not to grab onto Isak and make him go faster, and Isak loves it so much.

He quickly pulls his fingers out of Even and shuffles forward until he’s close enough. He spreads his own legs on the bed, slides his knees apart so he can line himself up.

“Are you ready?”

He has to ask, has to know. Although Even certainly looks ready, he really wants to hear him say it.

“Yeah, fuck. Yes. Come on,” Even mutters, voice fast and unwavering.

So Isak does. Almost before Even is done talking, he starts pushing inside.

He lives for the breach, lives for that surprised sound it always punches out of Even, wants to hear it over and over again. But there’s a fire under his skin that’s only soothed as he pushes inside and it makes him want to move faster.

He bottoms out, stays there, breathing hard, looking at Even and even though it’s probably the hardest thing he’s ever done, he stays still. The pressure around his dick feels incredible, Even’s walls fluttering around him, accommodating him and it’s so hard to hold back.

But this is part of what he wanted, this isn’t just about him. So he waits for Even. Waits until he looks at him.

It takes a while for Even to catch on. He lies there on the bed, fists in his hair, eyes clenched shut. Chest moving rapidly up and down from how hard he’s breathing. He’s a vision like this. He whines high in his throat as the seconds tick by and Isak still isn’t moving. He starts moving his hips the best he can, although he’s limited in this position.

Finally, he opens his eyes and looks at Isak. “What…?” he asks but then sees. Sees the way Isak is looking at him, and his face changes. Confusion slowly morphs into something completely different. His eyes soften and a small, fragile smile spreads over his lips. He nods, a small, almost impossible to see, nod. But Isak notices. He always does.

So Isak moves.

He pulls back, fast and sudden and thrusts back into Even in the same manner.

The sounds that punch out of Even sets Isak on fire, makes his dick throb inside of Even so he does it again.

Even keeps his eyes on him as much as he can this time, just lies there and takes it, lets himself be fucked by Isak and every push inside of Even makes Isak louder.

He’s not holding back. Not with anything, lets himself be loud, lets himself be rough. Lets himself look and see just how much Even is loving this in return.

Having Even’s eyes on him is the biggest turn on there is. Isak will never get enough of it.

He tightens his hold on Even’s thigh and his other hand slides up over his skin, leaving an oily trail behind until it reaches Even’s nipple. He pinches it and it’s that that finally makes Even close his eyes.

Isak’s hips are working hard against Even’s, pushing him deeper and deeper inside of Even and all that tight heat is making him clench his teeth. He hates how he can’t reach Even’s dick in this position, hidden behind his thigh, but he loves how deep he can go, loves how he hits all the good spots inside of Even.

He pinches Even’s nipple again, a little harder this time and Even’s breath hitches and Isak can’t help himself.

“Don’t worry, babe. I won’t pinch it harder than this,” he pinches it again and this time Even opens his eyes and looks at Isak. “I promised you that I wouldn’t hurt your nipples, remember?”

And Even laughs.

It shouldn’t be like this. It feels so over the top. Isak is buried in Even, is fucking him just right, to the point where Even is clearly lost to it. But then with a few words like this, they’re laughing. Together. Isak stops his movements and lets himself just enjoy this moment.

But before the laughter tapers off completely, he starts to move again. He doesn’t start off slow though. He still has a smile on his face as he thrusts roughly into Even, as far as he can go, to the point where Even almost moves up the bed, and Even’s laugh dies in his throat as it evolves into a curse.

“Holy shit!” he exclaims and clings onto Isak’s arm with one hand.

Isak leans over him, can’t quite reach his face, but he kisses Even’s shoulder instead.

“Arms over your head, baby,” he repeats, and his smile never leaves his face as Even immediately lifts his arm back over his head. He puts it against the wall as leverage and starts pushing back against Isak with every thrust.

And it’s so good. Even is so tight and perfect around Isak’s dick. Pulls him in like he wants to keep him inside with every thrust and Isak spreads his knees a bit more, changing the angle so he can thrust harder. The sounds of their skin slapping together are almost pornographic and Isak looks down, he has to see. The sight of Even’s hole stretching obscenely around his dick makes Isak moan and tighten his grip on Even’s leg even more.

He desperately wants to touch Even as well, wants him to drown in all this pleasure too, so on a sudden impulse, he pulls at Even’s top leg until it’s stretched against Isak’s upper body. He releases Even’s nipple, uses the grip on his leg as extra leverage and then he can finally wrap his hand around Even’s dick.

Judging by the sounds pouring out of Even as he does, Even is really close. He’s already starting to make these  _ ah ah ah _ sounds that Isak knows precedes his orgasm. So he tightens his grip on Even’s dick, works it a little bit faster as he speeds up his hips. Isak starts to chase his own orgasm, pushes himself deeper and deeper inside of Even.

His eyes have closed on their own volition at some point and now he opens them again just in time to watch Even come. His head is thrown back in the pillow, eyes scrunched, one hand buried in his hair and the other pushing against the wall, pushing him closer to Isak. And then Even starts shooting, his dick pulsing with rope after rope of cum in time with Isak’s thrusts. Isak continues stroking him, slows down a little bit just like Even likes, but keeps slapping his hips against Even’s ass, getting closer and closer with each push.

Even’s orgasm makes him incredibly tight, his walls fluttering around Isak’s dick and it’s so fucking good how every squeeze sends small zaps of electricity running through his dick, collecting in his aching balls and he desperately needs to come now. He’s panting and his heart is beating overtime, sending overheated blood around his body. His skin is tingling, body shivering and he pushes and pushes, harder and harder until he’s there, standing there at the edge, ready to fall.

He keeps himself there, thrusting once, twice, trying to prolong it, trying to stave it off a bit. But he can’t, he just can’t, not when everything feels so good, not when Even is lying there looking mind-numbingly hot and used and perfect.

So he lets go.

He buries himself as deep and far inside of Even he can get and unloads himself there with small, jerky movements, pleasure washing over him, making him close his eyes and open his mouth, spilling over with sounds and cum. Making Even take it all. He’s lost to the world, lost to everything but all this sensation, to the shivers wracking his body and the way his balls empty inside of Even.

Even clenches around him and it makes Isak lose all the strength in his body. All that added tightness around his dick as he’s coming pushes another rope of cum out of him, even when he thought he was done.

“Fuck,” he moans, works his hips one more time, and then one more, before he stops.

He’s out of breath, used in all the best of ways and then he opens his eyes.

Even just lies there, still with his arms over his head, flushed and sweaty and perfect and he’s looking right at Isak.

“Fuck, you’re so hot when you come,” he says and Isak has to feel him closer. He has to.

So he pushes Even’s leg off his shoulder and down on the other side of his body and lays down on top of Even. He’s suddenly so eager to feel Even’s lips against his, and it’s not until he does that he lets out a pleased sigh.

Perfect.

Even is so warm and comfortable, hard and soft in all the right places under him and Isak puts his arms on each side of his head and just kisses him. Runs his tongue over his swollen lips and pushes it inside his mouth, like he has to make up for not having kissed him while they fucked.

They stay like that for a while, kissing languidly, Isak’s hand sliding over Even’s skin. Isak just revels in being this close to him again.

But something’s wrong, Even is lying still, and although he’s kissing Isak back he’s not really touching Isak, so Isak reluctantly pulls back.

Even has a crooked smile and so much fondness in his eyes that it makes Isak smile back immediately.

Before he can ask Even what’s wrong, Even starts talking.

“So. Can I touch you now?”

And Isak huffs out a laugh, pushes gently at Even’s face. He’s such a dork. 

“Yeah. You can touch me now.”

Even’s arms immediately wrap around him, his hands running over his body all the way down from his shoulders to his ass, where they settle. With an ass cheek in each hand.

“Mmm,” he hums into Isak’s mouth, talking against his lips. “I like touching you.”

And Isak swallows down another bout of emotions threatening to pour out of him. Although this is a better time for it, although he’s pretty sure Even wouldn’t mind, he swallows them down. Instead, he kisses Even gently, strokes his cheek with his thumb and looks deep into his eyes.

“I like you touching me as well.”

Even’s eyes flit between Isak’s. And he lifts his head and kisses Isak back just as gently.

Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be with words. Sometimes, a kiss can tell you so much more than words will ever be able to. And as Isak’s heart starts to beat faster instead of slower, as warmth spreads all through his body, making him feel safe and loved, it’s clear that this is one of these times.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N is for no hands.
> 
> Ayesha, babe. I’m so happy it was you who guessed it! Congratulations!! :D
> 
> [Mari (miranhas-art)](http://miranhas-art.tumblr.com/) has made the most beautiful art for [K with Isak in a kilt and Even as a punker](http://miranhas-art.tumblr.com/post/171162458578), and it’s just so fucking perfect that I almost can’t. Everybody go check it out and give her all the likes because she deserves them all. <3 <3


	18. L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is for P and Immy who are both having a rough day. I hope this can cheer you up, babes. <3
> 
> Maugurt betaed even though she’s so busy in RL. Thank you, bb!!! <3 <3 
> 
> The letter is explained in the end notes if you can’t wait!
> 
> I have lost count of how many that has asked for this, so I’m just gonna let you get to it. Enjoy, my friends! :)

”Babe, can you come help me?” Even yells from the bedroom, making sure Isak can hear him in the bathroom where he’s brushing his teeth.

Even sounds like he’s struggling, like he’s a little bit out of breath and Isak finishes quickly. What he sees in the doorway to their room makes him pause, though.

“What are you doing?”

Even is by the window, trying to hang what looks like a yellow sheet in front of it. He holds it up with his hands, but it seems like it doesn’t really want to stay up.

“I’m hanging a new curtain,” Even says, sounding like Isak is silly for even asking. Like it should be obvious.

Which yeah. It kind of is. So Isak rolls his eyes and steps into the room.

“What about the perfectly fine curtains we already have?” he asks and goes to Even, already reaching up to help him. “What’s wrong with them?”

Even just smiles at him and wiggles his eyebrows.

“They’re not right for what I have in mind,” Even says and smiles a devious smile that makes Isak swallow hard.

Isak turns to the curtains, feels hot all over just from how Even is looking at him.

“But…” Isak starts, a curious frown on his face. “But you drew L, not Y. We already did Y.”

Even chuckles, and when Isak looks at him he looks so _happy_.

“Yeah. Y. We have to do that again some time,” he sighs.

Fuck it. Isak doesn’t care about the curtain when Even is standing right next to him, looking at him like that, so he puts his arms around his neck and kisses him. It’s hungry and heated from the start and Isak is hard in seconds.

“Isak…” Even moans into Isak’s mouth and Isak _mmm_ s back, already trying to figure out how he can get Even naked and on the bed. But then Even slows the kiss down, pulls back enough that it’s only their foreheads and noses touching.

“We still have to hang the curtains,” he whispers against Isak’s lips and laughs at the disgruntled sound Isak makes.

Later, when they’re lying in bed next to each other, Even’s arm over Isak’s waist, still sweaty from the blowjobs they just shared, Isak is still wondering.

“Why yellow curtains?” he asks.

Even runs his nose over Isak’s cheek and Isak can feel him smiling against him.

“You’ll find out in the morning, babe,” he says in a low voice and Isak is suddenly not that tired.

He turns over on his side, ready to keep Even up with all his questions, but when he sees Even lying there with his eyes already closed and his breathing slowing down, he just settles in instead. He knows how important sleep is to Even.

So instead, he simply whispers, “Goodnight,” and closes his own eyes as well.

\--||--

Isak wakes up because the mattress dips besides him and he feels someone crawl over the bed until they’re sitting next to him.

He smiles.

He knows it’s Even, and his smile widens when he feels the duvet being pulled down slowly over his naked body.

“Isaaaak,” Even sings in a low voice, like he wants to wake him but gently.

Isak waits until the duvet is pulled over his already hardening dick, until Even kisses his stomach, right next to where it is, until Even whispers, “Isak…” once more, like he knows that Isak is already awake before Isak opens his eyes.

He can’t help but smile, can’t help but stretch his arms over his head and instead of saying good morning, he just hums.

Even kisses him again on the stomach, this time much closer to Isak’s dick and Isak lifts his hips, just enough that Even will get the hint what he can do with those lips instead. But instead of the expected wet, warmth on his dick, Even leans away from him. Isak lifts his head to look and raises his hips insistently again as he does.

Even is leaning on his elbows, looking much brighter than what should be possible first thing in the morning.

“I have a surprise for you,” he says and nods towards the window.

Isak squints as he looks. The sun is shining outside their window, shining through the yellow curtains, bathing the room in a soft yellow light. On the windowsill, there’s a camera. And it’s pointed towards them.

“What’s this?” Isak grunts, blinking against the light.

Even moves up his body, lies down next to Isak and smiles at him. “I thought we could try something new?”

Isak averts his eyes from the camera to Even, and when he does, it’s clear to see that Even isn’t quite as assured as he sounds. “New?” Isak asks. He’s always so slow in the morning.

“I know we haven’t really talked about this. But I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Even says fast, like he’s afraid that Isak will interrupt him. It’s almost too fast for Isak to grasp this early in the morning. “I really want to make a sextape, so I thought L could be for lens.”

Isak looks up at the ceiling, has to look away from Even to make sense of what he’s saying. He’s not exactly… opposed? He remembers all those times when he’s been buried in Even, desperately wishing he could save the perfect sounds pouring from him, save how gorgeous Even looks when he’s lost to the pleasure Isak is giving him. He feels his dick twitch at the thought, but he still feels nervous about it.

“What…” he starts and turns his head to look at Even. “What are you going to do with the video?”

Isak’s not really sure what he’s actually worried about. It’s not like he’s really afraid that Even will upload it to a porn site or share it with their friends. He just… He needs this to be between them, needs Even to tell him that.

“I’m going to watch it over and over with you,” Even says and shuffles closer to Isak. “because I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be the hottest thing ever, watching us together.” His voice is low and rough like he’s getting affected just thinking about it.

Isak swallows, feels how his nerves are dying down from feeling Even’s hard dick against his thigh, how his own dick is starting to leak from the idea of watching himself with Even. He has to agree with Even. He’s pretty sure that they look hot together. It’s not hard nodding.

“Yeah?” Even asks, and sounds happily surprised and Isak is powerless against him when he’s like this, when he acts like Isak is somehow doing him a favor.

“Yeah,” he whispers back and leans in to kiss Even, just to make sure that he knows that Isak wants this too.  

Isak pulls back from the kiss and says it again, “Yeah,” just to emphasize how much he means it. Now that he knows, now that he’s sure that Even’s on the same track as him, he’s quickly getting used to the idea. The tension in his body induced by his nerves is quickly being replaced by another kind of tension. The kind that makes it difficult to keep still with Even this close.

Even’s eyes are half-lidded and he’s looking at Isak like he wants to eat him and Isak just can’t wait anymore. “Did you have something in mind?” he asks, trying to make something happen.

“Oh, yeah,” Even says, and gets up on all fours to climb over Isak. He lies down on the other side of Isak, body half covering his and he starts kissing Isak. No more preamble, just tongue and heat and so much want that it almost steals Isak’s breath away.

Even is so hard against him. Isak can feel his dick leaving a wet trail behind on his thigh and he just wants to taste it. Wants to replace the bad taste in his mouth with the bitterness of Even’s precum, but Even clearly has something else in mind.

“Turn over on your side, babe,” he says, and his voice already sounds so affected that it sends shivers down Isak’s spine.

So Isak does. He turns over and exposes his entire front to the camera while Even scoots up close behind him. Even’s hard dick is painting a trail against his ass now and Isak puts one leg in front of him, just opens up to Even without thought.

He just wants this so much.

He tries not to look at the camera as Even puts his arm around him, hand stroking his chest and his stomach while Even is kissing his shoulders and neck, but it’s almost impossible not to. It’s not like he can see it doing anything, it’s just standing there on the windowsill, pointing at them. But Isak can hardly take his eyes away from it. Every nerve in his body feels alert, like he’s, _they’re_ , being watched and it’s making his dick pulse and his body strum with a new kind of energy. It’s making Isak impatient.

He pushes back against Even, leans forward even more and makes room for Even to put his fingers where he wants them the most. He arches his back as he says, “Come on, Even.”

He can feel how Even’s lips stretch into a smile against the skin of his shoulders, but it doesn’t seem like Even is in quite as much of a hurry as him. His hand keeps stroking over Isak’s skin, pausing at his nipples, and every stroke up and down gets lower and lower, gets him closer to Isak’s dick and Isak almost can’t stand it. He’s still looking at the camera, not quite sure how he’s supposed to distract from it. But where the camera is making Isak’s skin hot, is making him start to sweat, it just seems to do the opposite for Even. It seems to make him want to draw it out. And Isak is dying.

“Even,” he moans. _Moans_. And it’s enough to almost make him ashamed of how much this is turning him on.

“Fuck,” Even says, reacting to the desperation in Isak’s voice. Isak feels Even’s dick twitch against his ass and it’s the most rewarding feeling how he can transmit his desperation to Even like this.

Even takes his hand away and when Isak hears the click of the lid to the lube, he starts shivering with anticipation. He just really needs Even’s fingers in him now.

Even’s wet fingers against his crack makes him tense up all over, makes him moan and clench his eyes shut. Even’s arm slides under Isak’s head, making it possible for him to put an arm around Isak and hold him tight against him, as his fingers just slide over Isak’s crack.

It’s lighting a match under Isak’s skin, makes him sweat and squirm, because Even just keeps gracing his hole, doesn’t really concentrate on it at all. He seems content to just make Isak wet there, just rubbing the lube into the hot skin and Isak is panting in seconds.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even says and puts his lips against Isak’s neck and Isak keens. He’s so surprised himself by how easily Even’s making him desperate, but he can’t question it right now. Everything in him is so focused on Even’s fingers that he can hardly breathe every time they pass over his hole, wondering if this is when Even will pause there.

But Even just continues, keeps licking the skin on Isak’s neck, kissing it and panting while his fingers are sliding over his crack, sometimes gliding a bit lower so he can slide over Isak’s perineum.

Isak is dying.

He’s so hot now, shivering from anticipation, from want, and he’s so high strung that he can barely speak. His heart is pounding in his chest, and he would be worried about it if he was able to think straight.

But Even is scrambling his mind, just keeps lulling him into this false sense of normalcy, of routine, where the fingers just keep sliding over his skin and Isak can feel how his hole clenches and unclenches with every stroke like it wants the fingers inside as well.

Like it can’t wait to swallow them up.

Just when Isak doesn’t really think he can take it anymore, just when he’s ready to grab onto Even’s wrist and push his fingers inside himself, Even breaks from his rhythm and pushes two fingers inside of Isak without any warning.

Isak stops breathing, fist clenching in the duvet, hair stuck to his head from how much he’s starting to sweat now, but before he can get used to the intrusion, Even has already pulled out and is back to stroking his crack.

Isak lies there, panting and hard, every muscle in his body tense like he doesn’t even remember how to relax them anymore.

When his jaw unclenches, when his throat swallows the dryness away, when his tongue doesn’t feel too big for his mouth, the first thing he says is, “You fucker.”

And Even just laughs against his neck, like he enjoys wrecking Isak, which… okay. That’s not really such a preposterous idea, but goddammit. Isak is so ready, he _needs_ more. More of everything, of Even’s fingers and his mouth and his _dick_.

He’s just about to curse at Even when Even does it again, just pushes two fingers inside of Isak, rough and perfect, so deep that Isak swears he feels it _everywhere_. He grabs onto Even’s arm over his chest with the hand not fisted in the duvet. He needs something to anchor him, needs Even to shield him from all the sensations bombarding him, because even though he’s so focused on Even’s fingers, the camera still isn’t completely forgotten. The knowledge that it’s there, just looking at them, recording every second of this, of their moans and movements, constantly alert and focused on them, is still at the front of Isak’s mind.

It’s impossible to distract from.

And he opens his eyes quickly, just glances at it, almost as if he makes sure that it’s still there. And of course it is. The sight of it pushes a bead of precum out of him and he arches his back even more to get Even’s fingers further inside of him, to make Even start to move and scissor them.

“Isak.” Even’s voice is so low and rough that Isak has to bite his tongue not to start muttering _please_ s back to him. He’s not sure what he would be asking for. Just… more. At this point, he doesn’t care what Even wants to do to him as long as he does _something_. “I’m not going to prep you too much. I want you to be able to feel what I’m doing to you. I want you to feel it all day.”

And Isak makes a sound that he can’t recognize, that he’s never made before. But Even is clearly encourages by it, because he pushes his fingers further inside of Isak, changes the angle of his fingers to rub over Isak’s prostate, and Isak is close to swallowing his tongue from how it’s making the skin of his entire body pebble with goosebumps. Fuck.

“I want you to be reminded of me, of this, with every step you take today.”

The desperation bubbles out of Isak, reaches new heights, and he doesn’t know how to fit inside his own body anymore. He needs Even to hold him together, needs him to set him right.

“Yes. Fuck. Just…. Fuck me. Fuck me, Even,” and his mouth keeps working, keeps saying _fuck me_ , _fuck me_ , as he works his hips against Even’s fingers, against where he feels the wet tip of Even’s dick rub against his ass cheek. And it’s just not possible for him to wait anymore.

Even curses behind him. Isak can feel how his body is shivering too as he pulls his fingers out of Isak and then lines himself up. The rub of Even’s dick over his hole makes Isak even more impatient, although he knows he’s about to get what he wants.

He pushes back, helps Even’s dick pop through the initial resistance there and then Even just slides inside him, hard and big and almost too much and Isak forces himself to breathe through it. It’s so much, it’s fucking perfect and Isak is too impatient to wait until his body has gotten used to how much space Even takes up inside of him. So he starts to move as soon as Even is inside of him, starts rolling his hips, helping Even push himself deeper and deeper inside him, until he’s so deep inside that it feels like there’s no more space inside of Isak to give. Even is everywhere, fills every available crevice inside of him.

Until there’s only them. Just Even and Isak. Nothing else.

Even starts fucking him right away, thrusts long and hard and so fucking right that Isak’s moans are loud and insistent. With no thoughts for neighbors or for how everybody is surely home and can hear them. He doesn’t fucking care right now.

Even grabs hold of his thigh, pushes it up and after a bit of shuffling, Isak gets the idea. He helps Even lift his leg from the bed and back over Even’s leg, so Isak turns back to his side again. His back against Even’s front. It makes Even not reach quite as deep anymore, makes his thrust a bit more shallow. And Isak doesn’t want this, is almost ready to just roll forward again, onto his stomach. He wants to feel every centimeter of Even inside of him. But then he opens his eyes and as they find the camera at once, he understands. Even is making sure that the camera can see Isak, can see how his dick weeps precum onto the duvet with every push of Even’s dick inside of him, how his nipples are rock hard and his muscles tight and clenched. Of course Even is considering how they look as they’re doing this. Of course. It makes Isak preen under the watchful eye of the camera, makes him lick his lips and reach up to grab hold of Even’s hair so his body opens up even more to the camera. He’s showing off. And he smiles when he hears Even’s _fuck_ as he realizes what Isak is doing.

“Isak, Jesus,” he mutters as he fucks into Isak, much rougher than he normally would and Isak fucking loves it. He loves how he can make Even just as desperate as him, loves how much pleasure he can give him with his body. “You’re perfect.”

Fuck. Isak’s not sure if he’s going to survive this morning, with the way Even’s holding him tight and how perfect his lips feel against his skin, how perfect his dick feels moving inside of him. Isak needs to kiss him, he needs to, so he twists his upper body enough that he can reach. And he sighs as soon as Even’s lips are on his. The kiss is awkward, the angle wrong and uncomfortable, but it’s Even’s lips sliding against his, it’s his breath washing over his face, and nothing could be better. Nothing.

“You feel so good,” Isak sighs against Even’s lips, clenching his walls hard around Even as he does and he smiles at the sound that punches out of Even.

“Shit,” Even says and his hand flinches on Isak’s leg, grip tightening as he pushes harder against Isak. It’s enough to make Isak retreat inside himself, completely focused on how fucking good Even is making him feel. Every point of contact reverberates through Isak, feels like so much that Isak feels like he could burst at any second.

Only Even is able to make him feel so much. He didn’t even know that it was possible before.

And as Even gets rougher, fucks into him faster and harder, thrusting against his body so Isak is slowly being pushed onto his front, Isak can’t help but smile.

In one perfect second, it’s all just so clear to him. How lucky he is.

But then Even’s dick jabs against his prostate, slides over it in one particularly dirty instroke and Isak’s mind scrambles and his smile is lost to the moan Even forces out of him.

Isak keeps clenching around him, doesn’t care if he’ll be sore later, he just wants to feel Even. He wants everything that Even can give him, and he wants to see it on a screen afterward. He wants to watch himself get fucked good by Even.

Even keeps leaning over him, until Isak is almost completely lying down, until his stomach is almost completely against the duvet, and then Even changes position, just crawls over him until he’s covering Isak as much as he can. He puts his weight on top of Isak, legs over Isak’s, chest against his back, pushes Isak so deep into the mattress that he almost can’t breathe from it.

It’s perfect.

Even pulls his hips back until his dick is almost all the way out, until just the tip is inside and Isak feels how his walls are clinging on to him, trying to keep him inside. Isak’s mind is lost to it, can’t keep up with the change of pace, full on hard fucking one second to Even holding himself still like this the next.

“Is this okay?” Even asks as he just keeps his hips still.

Isak is too gone now to really care for this, he doesn’t want Even to stop, he wants him to just keep fucking into him forever, so he arches his back, forces Even’s dick back inside of him and mutters a string of _yes_ and _fuck_ and _fuck me_. So Even does.

His hips slap against Isak’s, punches the air out of his lungs with how deep Even can go now, and before Isak can even register how far inside he is, he pulls back and slams right back into him. Short, hard jabs that focus completely on Isak’s prostate with a precision that Isak didn’t even know Even knew how to do.

Isak’s dick is leaking under him, so hard and pulsing with every jab on his prostate, his balls pulling up tight against his body and it’s just so much.

Even’s weight on top of him is so heavy but just right. There’s just something about being held down like this, forced to take Even’s dick like he doesn’t even have a say. Like he has to just lie there and take it. It makes Isak even louder, makes him fist the sheet under his hands. He’s so hot, sweating hard now, making Even’s skin slide against his and sweat run down his temple and sting his eyes.

But he doesn’t fucking care. Every cell in his body is humming with pleasure, fire curling under his skin, heat pooling in his stomach. His balls are so tight now, pulled up as far as they can and they’re almost aching with how bad he wants to come. And he recognizes this feeling how. Recognizes how every push makes his dick rub against the sheet under him in a way that feels so good, but just not enough. How every time Even’s dick slide against his prostate, his dick twitches, and leaks more precum.

He recognizes it because he’s experienced it before. He knows what’s happening, knows that if Even keeps this up he’s going to come untouched.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even groans against his ear, voice rough with wonder. “Are you going to come like this? Is this enough?”

And Isak nods frantically, eyes clenched shut and mouth open with how hard he’s panting.

Even pauses on top of him, enough to make Isak whine with desperation.

“Is it only like this? Do you think you can come on your side instead?”

Isak starts moving his hips, can’t stand how Even isn’t moving anymore, and mutters, “I don’t know.”

But he doesn’t fight it when Even puts his arms around him and moves so Isak has no choice but to move with him onto his side. Even pulls at his leg again until it’s on top of Even’s, opening him up once more. And then Even starts moving.

It’s not as precise and it takes some maneuvering before they find the right angle again, but once Even gets it right, he stays there and starts pounding into Isak, hitting that exact spot over and over again until Isak is seeing stars.

It’s overwhelming in the best of ways. It makes his head quiet from its everyday chaos as his senses are flooded with sensation and all he can breathe and live is Even.

Even is everywhere and it’s the feeling of his skin against his, the sound of his hard breath in his ear, the almost-pain of how hard he’s gripping onto his thigh that makes Isak able to stay in the moment and not just float away with how good this feels.

His dick is leaking, a constant string of precum connecting him to the sheet under him and it’s so difficult not to just reach down and stroke himself to completion. He’s so close, he can almost taste it, his dick and balls aching with his pending release and it’s almost all he can focus on now. How bad he wants to come.

But he wants to give Even this, wants to show him how skillfully he’s fucking Isak, wants to show him that he can make him come with just his perfect dick and nothing else. Isak is skirting the edge of it, is being pushed closer and closer to the precipice with every hard jab against his prostate, with every short drag against his hole, his body shivering and mouth unable to do anything but stay open to take enough air in that his lungs stop burning.

His hand finds Even’s hair, fists it violently and hard, needs something to ground him. Even is relentless. Although he hisses from how hard Isak is pulling, he keeps fucking him. He releases the grip on Isak’s leg to put his arm around him instead as if to keep him where he wants him; speared on Even’s dick, getting fucked to within an inch of his life, punching sounds out of him he’s never made before.

He’s floating there, orgasm just out of reach, just a constant tease of possibility, and Isak only needs the final push.

It’s clear that Even is fighting his own orgasm, is giving Isak the last of what he has to give and he starts muttering through clenched teeth, “You need to come. I can’t... Baby, just… give in. Come on,” and Isak would, but it’s almost too much. His dick is pulsing, is so hard he’s not sure it’s ever going to be soft again and his entire body feels like a live-wire, electricity running over his skin, setting his body on fire.

He wants to come so badly, wants to give Even this, wants the pleasure that’s just out of reach so much. But at the same time, this place he’s at right now is one of his favorite things about sex. How he can ride that edge of desperation, just on the point of coming, seeing how long he can keep himself suspended here where his body is floating and his mind is quiet and everything but the pleasure coursing through his veins and the sound of his blood pulsing in his ears quiet down.

There’s nothing else like this. No drug, no nothing. And it’s only Even that manages to get him here.

He loves it. He loves him. And with that thought filling him, lighting him up from within until it reaches everywhere, until the tips of his fingers buzz from it, he lets go. Lets himself fall off the edge.

And he drowns.

It’s like an explosion inside of him. It starts in his balls, continues to his dick and the first rope of cum feels like it’s pulled from him, like it’s fighting its way out, and Isak opens his mouth and lets the silent scream out that accompanies it. From there, it spreads out all over his entire body, makes his skin turn slick and shivery, makes his toes curl almost painfully. Every muscle in his body tenses as the next rope of cum is released from him, painting the bed and his stomach with white lines and as the smell of his release hits him, he starts convulsing in pleasure against Even, safe in his arms, and he just gives into it.

He lets the pleasure flood him, fill him up until he can hardly breathe from it, and it makes him see white, takes over his mind and makes everything stop. Nothing matters, nothing else will ever matter but this. All this sensation, all this pleasure, radiating through his body, milking him as Even keeps pounding into him, giving him everything he’s got, every last ounce of strength to prolong it for Isak. To help keep him there and Isak lets that fill him too.

And then Even starts coming behind him. Isak feels how he pushes deep inside, as deep as he can possibly go and his grip around him tightens so Isak almost can’t breathe. But it’s perfect, it’s just right, because the sounds Even make as he lets go, the way his dick twitches inside of him as he starts to unload deep inside of Isak, just adds to his pleasure. The knowledge that Even is filling him up pushes another glob of cum out of him, even when he didn’t think he had more to give.

And he just lies there, sweaty and panting and shivering from how powerful his orgasm was and lets Even use his body, lets him push every last drop of cum so deep inside of him that he’s sure he’ll never be able to get rid of it. And he wants it, wants the eternal reminder of Even inside, wants everything he is and has to give.

He wants it all.

As soon as Even stops moving and collapses against him, Isak smiles. It’s big and wide and it feels so good that he can’t help but let the laugh bubbling inside of him out as well.

He’s just so happy and there’s not enough room inside of him to contain it all. He’s perfectly content with letting some of it overflow as laughter, to show Even just how good he is to him.

And Even has barely caught his breath, his slowly softening dick still inside of Isak as he joins him and starts laughing too.

It’s the most wonderful feeling in the entire world, how Even’s body shakes with laughter against his. Knowing that he’s the cause of all that happiness in Even as well.

It makes him turn over, makes him ignore the wet squelching sound Even’s dick makes as it slides out of him along with some of Even’s cum. He has to see Even, has to see that smile on his face.

And once he does, he’s not disappointed. Even’s whole face is soft, eyes sliding over Isak and he looks so fond and happy that Isak’s heart twists in his chest.

“You’re so amazing for being able to do that,” Even whispers into the small space between them. The awe in his voice makes Isak feel so proud, so happy that he’s able to come untouched as well. It makes the pull towards Even even stronger, the fact that he can make him feel like this just by letting go.

“It feels pretty amazing, too,” he whispers back and leans in to taste the kiss that lights up Even’s entire face. He’s never as pretty as when he’s smiling like this.

It tastes as good as it normally does, it tastes like them.

When Isak finally pulls back, he stays close. Can’t stand to put distance between them, and they lie there looking at each other, smiling, slowly cooling down.

Even looks gorgeous. He looks like he’s glowing, his skin warm and inviting. It makes Isak look around, noticing how the room is bathed in warm, yellow light from the curtains they hung last night.

“You really planned for this, hmm?” he asks as he turns back to Even.

“Yeah, I told you I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time,” Even says, still smiling as he reaches out to brush the hair at Isak’s temple back. “I honestly wasn’t sure you’d let me.”

Isak knows that a few weeks ago, he would’ve been disappointed that Even hadn’t talked to him about it sooner, but now he understands. Some things are still hard to say, and instead, he’s just happy that they’re at a place where it’s getting easier and easier to ask and to talk about these things with each other.

“I love trying new things with you,” Isak whispers, hoping that Even can see how much he means it.

The click of Even’s throat as he swallows tells Isak that he has more things to say, so Isak waits. Lets Even find his words.

“I… really liked the no hands-thing.”

This isn’t quite what Isak expects Even to say, but it’s easy to agree with him. “Yeah, that was pretty hot.”

Even nods and smiles at him, bites his lip, like he’s still fighting to get the words out.

“I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I would really like to try it for real.”

Isak frowns, not quite understanding what Even tries to tell him. “For real?”

“Yeah, like being tied up, just being completely at your mercy,” Even says and he’s looking at Isak’s lips as he’s saying it, and everything about him makes it really obvious just how much he wants to try it.

It makes Isak swallow hard, makes his dick twitch against his thigh, makes his skin flush. Just thinking of Even spread out before him, tied to the bed, for him to decide what to do with. Well. That image works for Isak as well.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

“I don’t want this game to be over,” Even says after a small pause.

It makes Isak sigh because he feels the same way. But then he leans in to kiss Even, and as he pulls back he whispers, “But we don’t have to stop experimenting just because there are no more letters, you know?” He nudges Even’s nose with his own before he continues with a smile. “But if we feel like it, we could always start over. Or maybe try numbers instead.”

And that makes Even huff out a laugh. “I really love your mind, babe.”

Isak turns soft, can feel how his smile rearranges from something playful into something tender instead.

“I really love _you_.”

And the sight of Even’s face mirroring Isak’s tells Isak more than words ever could. He doesn’t _need_ it, but it still feels amazing to hear it back.

“I love you,” Even whispers against his lips, so gentle and fond and Isak isn’t sure his heart won’t burst from all this happiness.

He leans into taste those words on Even’s lips and this time, they make them taste sweeter.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L is for lens.
> 
> IRAZOR!!! BABE!!!! You guessed it!!! I’m so happy for you! <3 <3 <3 (there was a bunch of you almost saying it at the same time, but you were first, bb. ;))


	19. P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’ve all had a wonderful Easter! I did, I’ve had the best holiday this year. :) So this is a little Easter present from me to you, I hope you enjoy. :D
> 
> Maugurt, my dear, my sweet, has betaed this. Thanks, babe! <3
> 
> As always the letter is explained in the end notes.

The letter is burning a hole in his pocket. He doesn’t know why he still has it there, it’s just a letter, and he’s pretty sure he’s not going to forget it in the next few days. But he finds himself sliding a hand into his pocket to fiddle with the note more often than he likes to admit.

He knows what he wants to do.

Ever since the morning with the camera thing, with the sex tape (and yeah, just thinking about it makes Isak close his eyes and take a deep breath because… that might be one of the hottest things he’s ever done), he’s been wondering about something Even said. About how he thinks Isak is amazing for coming untouched. And when he thinks about it, he can’t remember Even ever doing that.

He wants Even to experience it. He wants to see Even experience it.

He has “P” in his pocket and he’s pretty sure that he has a good idea of what to do with that to make Even come like that. He knows that Even is up for whatever Isak throws his way, he’s just not sure how much of a problem it is for Even that he’s never done that. If that’s even something he feels like he’s missing out on.

Isak takes a deep breath. It doesn’t really matter now because he’s pretty sure he’s going to find out tonight.

\--||--

They’re just done eating. Even puts the cutlery on the plate, still chewing, but Isak can’t wait anymore.

“I’m going to do the dishes,” he starts. “I want you to go take a shower and clean yourself up while I do.”

Even stops with his hand on his half-full glass of water, looks at Isak with his eyebrows high and a small smile playing at his lips.

“Like…  _ clean _ , clean?” he asks and takes a sip of water.

Isak nods. “Yeah, I have plans for you tonight.”

Even swallows the water hard, probably harder than he intended to because he winces, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Isak.

“Well. Okay, then,” he says, eyes bright and smile in full effect and  _ fuck _ . He’s so pretty like this, Isak almost can’t stand it.

\--||--

Isak tries to ignore the sound of the water running in the bathroom, tries to ignore the fact that his boyfriend is standing just on the other side of that wall all naked and pretty and wet, and he does his very best to just focus on cleaning the dishes instead. He’s not in a hurry. He knows that Even likes to take his time when he has to clean up, and Isak doesn’t mind one bit. He’d rather that Even feels comfortable and clean enough to enjoy what’s coming than him rushing through it.

When Isak is done doing the dishes, he starts getting their bedroom ready. He draws the curtains shut, picks up a pair of pants on the floor and throws them over the chair, and then he finds the lube and puts it on the bed within easy reach. 

He rubs his hands together and as he hears the water shut off, he can’t help but let the anticipation and excitements of what’s about to happen overtake him. He’s going to make this really good for Even.

Isak can hear the sound of the shower curtain being pulled back so Isak starts taking his clothes off.

He’s down to his boxers when Even enters their bedroom. He has a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else. He looks delicious. Isak loves Even when he’s fresh out of the shower when there are no products in his hair and no perfume on him. When he’s just pure Even.

There’s nothing better than that.

Isak doesn’t even try to fight the pull, just goes to him, pulls him in for a kiss without any hesitation at all. Even hums into it, tilts his head to make it possible for Isak to deepen it if he wants to. But Isak doesn’t want to do that right now. He just wants to touch and kiss and breathe Even in. So he does.

His hands slide over Even’s chest, skirt over his nipples without pausing there, over the balls of his shoulders and down the length of his arms. He slides his hands into Even’s, puts his fingers between his, and just squeezes them gently.

It makes Even smile into the kiss, makes him pull back a bit, just enough that he can look Isak in the eye and Isak almost can’t breathe from how much tenderness is in the way he’s looking at him.

Isak’s pretty sure that he’ll never get used to it. Not really. How he has this person who just cares so much about him. Compared to how it used to be for him, this will always amaze him. He’ll never take it for granted. Never.

Isak smiles back and he knows it’s one of those doofy, lovesick ones, the ones he never used to do before he met Even, but that Even luckily  _ loves _ . And this time is no different. His entire face changes into something impossibly softer when he sees it and Isak needs to get things going for this to not just turn into a sob-fest.

He lets go of Even’s hands so he can put his own on Even’s waist, just where the towel ends.

“I hope you’re ready for what I have planned for you tonight, baby,” he says in a low and sultry voice, trying to get the mood back on track. He lets his fingers run along the edge of the towel, just teasing Even with the possibility of him taking it off soon.  

He absolutely notices the way Even’s adam’s apple jumps as he swallows, how his smile changes a bit, how his pupils dilate.

Isak continues running his fingers along the edge of the towel, occasionally dipping down Even’s sides, just teasing him. They’re standing close but not close enough that they’re touching. And Isak wants to keep that distance between them, wants to see how much teasing it takes for Even to start tenting the towel.

“Tonight is all about you, Even,” he whispers and Even’s eyes leaves Isak’s lips to look him in the eyes.

It’s intense having Even’s complete focus. But Isak is used to it now, has had it enough times that it doesn’t make him hectic anymore, even if it does make his skin hotter.

Isak slides his hands to the front, looks at Even through half-lidded eyes and bites his lip in that way he knows drives Even crazy. He watches Even swallow hard, watches how his eyes dwell on his lips and when Isak looks down he smiles as he notices how Even is already starting to fill up.

He starts slowly undoing the knot on the towel, pulls one side out slowly and lets the towel unravel and fall to the floor.

Even is already almost completely hard and he looks so good standing there in front of Isak, all naked, everything on display for him. Isak loves how comfortable Even is with his body, how he lets Isak look and look.

Isak’s pretty sure he’ll never get enough of that, is pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life looking and  _ never  _ grow tired of it.

He grabs hold of Even’s waist again and uses that grip to guide him backward towards the bed. He makes sure that they’re not touching anywhere else as he does, just keeps up the eye contact as he slowly pushes Even down on the bed, forces him to start crawling up on his back until he settles on the pillow.

Isak hovers over Even, arms on each side of his head and he loves the way Even looks up at him expectantly.

“What do you have planned?” Even finally asks and Isak knows that he’s been dying to do that for a while, but Isak just smiles and tsks.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he whispers and leans in to kiss the side of Even’s mouth.

Even turns his head, like Isak must’ve missed his mouth by accident, but he didn’t. Isak puts his hand on Even’s chin and turns his head to the side so he can kiss the side of his mouth again. The sound Even makes at that sends shivers down Isak’s spine.

And then he starts kissing down Even’s jaw, down the long expanse of his neck, all bared to him now that his head is turned to the side, down his chest. He pauses on his nipples, slowly circles them with his tongue, one by one until both nipples are hard and then he continues down. He kisses his way over Even’s abdomen slowly, pauses once again when he reaches his navel because he knows that Even is weirdly sensitive there, and when Even is breathing hard under him, he continues on. He licks a stripe from his stomach down to his hip, kisses the sensitive spot where hip turns to thigh and just when the first shivers start going through Even’s body, he lets up.

“Hand me one of the pillows, babe,” he says and he loves how it takes Even a couple of seconds to get with it, to seemingly understand what Isak is asking for.

As soon as he does, he’s eager and fast and even helps Isak lift his hips so Isak can slide it under him.

“Keep your legs up,” Isak says, tries to put some authority into his voice so Even will understand just what kind of letter tonight is. That tonight it’s Isak’s turn to provide the pleasure. 

Even lifts his head to look at him, like he has to see how serious Isak is, and he already looks wrecked. His hair is starting to dry, is lying in disarray around his face and he looks so pretty that Isak almost doesn’t quite know what to do with it.

And Even just follows Isak’s instructions so beautifully, takes hold of his legs, folds them up and holds them back with his hands. Isak loves it.

When he looks down again, he has Even’s amazing ass spread out before him, clean and ready for him and he doesn’t waste anymore time. He leans down, licks a broad stripe from the top of Even’s crack all the way over his hole, which twitches perfectly against his tongue, and up his perineum and balls. He stops before he reaches Even’s dick, though. 

Tonight is not about that.

He leans down and does it all over again and smiles when Even sighs disappointedly when he stops before his dick again. He leans down and repeats the movement, but this time he stops when he gets to Even’s hole and stays there.

He licks over it in broad strokes, gets him wet and sensitive and he knows how much that drives Even crazy. He keeps it up for a while, wants to make Even squirm with the sensation and then he pulls back and blows on it. The sharp inhale he hears from Even makes him smile again and makes him do it again. He can feel Even’s legs start to tremble and he’s sure that if he pulled back, he would be met with the beautiful sight of Even’s skin starting to redden.

Isak glances up, just to see how much he can see, whether it’s possible to see that flush, but instead, he’s met with the sight of Even breathing hard and his knuckles almost white from how hard he’s gripping onto his legs.

Perfect.

On the next lick, he lets his tongue catch on Even’s rim, just a bit, just enough to give Even another kind of sensation there and Even whines with it. That sound makes Isak’s dick throb, but it’s easy to ignore how hard he is when he has Even in front of him like this.

He loves this, loves giving Even pleasure, loves making him lose it.

It’s clear that Even doesn’t quite... appreciate this slow pace that Isak is setting, though, clear that he’s starting to get impatient. His hips are making small minute thrusts, chasing Isak’s mouth and tongue and Isak decides to give him what he wants.

He starts concentrating on Even’s hole a bit more, licks along the rim with the tip, jabs inside a couple of times and has Even moaning in no time. Isak keeps it up, feels the muscle loosen against his tongue, hears how loud Even is getting and Isak can’t help but thrust into the bed. He’s painfully hard, Even’s noises just always get to him. 

For a brief second, he wonders if he should try making Even come like this, whether he even could. If Isak just kept it up, kept rimming him, would it be enough? But he stops himself before he loses himself to that thought, pulls back from Even and smiles at how Even whines from the lack of stimulation. 

It makes Isak think that he could.

He almost has to force himself to continue with what he has planned, but he stores that idea in the back of his mind for another time. 

Isak takes hold of Even’s calves, pulls at them until Even gets the idea and lets go of his legs. Isak places one leg over his shoulder and lets the other fall to the bed. He’s pretty sure that Even will want his hands free for this. He quickly finds the lube, coats his fingers in it as he gets up on his knees and tries to settle into a comfortable position. He’s going to be here for a while.

“I’m going to take good care of you, babe,” he says as he starts circling Even’s hole with his wet fingers and he revels in how he can look at Even now. And yes, his skin is flushed and he’s starting to sweat and he looks so beautiful in front of him like this.

He watches in fascination how Even’s adam’s apple jump as he swallows before he talks.

“As long as you touch my dick soon.”

And Isak can’t keep himself from smiling, knows it’s crooked and probably more of a smirk, and he pushes the first finger inside as he waits to answer. He goes straight for the gold, slides his finger along the upper wall and finds what he’s looking for.

“Sorry, baby,” he says as he starts moving his finger, starts rubbing along the edges of Even’s prostate, gently at first, and he knows that Even has heard him, but all that sensation is clearly making it hard for him to answer. “But I’m not going to touch your dick tonight.”

Even makes a strangled sound at that, opens his eyes and lifts his head to look at Isak. Isak keeps up the gentle rub, just steady movements that are sure to make Even feel really good, especially if he keeps it up, and he can’t help but smile at how robbed Even looks.

“P is for prostate massage. Or prostate milking. As far as I can tell, it’s kind of the same,” Isak says and tries to ignore all the time he’s spent looking at online how-to-guides for this exact thing. He knows that he’s mainly talking for himself now because Even’s eyes are turning glassy.

Isak bends his finger, starts moving it more directly over Even’s prostate and he keeps up the pressure, encouraged by how Even is starting to shake now.

“Isak…” he moans as one hand starts fisting the duvet and the other takes hold of his hair. He spreads his legs more for Isak and Isak can’t help but put a steadying hand on his thigh. He loves to feel the muscle work under the skin.

If this is Even’s reaction to one finger, Isak really wants to know what two fingers will do, so he inserts the next.

Even is easy to breach. His hole eagerly swallows his fingers and keeps him in and it’s making it harder for Isak to breathe as well. He looks down at where his fingers disappear, licks his lips at how perfect that sight is, with Even’s rim all puffy and pretty, stretched in a way that makes Isak think he could add more fingers and Even wouldn’t mind. 

Isak can’t help but shift his eyes to Even’s dick, which is lying neglected against his stomach, pulsing and twitching, dripping precum onto his stomach in a steady stream and Isak’s mouth floods as he notices. He just wants to taste, wants to put his lips around the tip and suck, but he can’t. He has to let it be, that’s the whole idea of this.

He’s almost annoyed with himself for making up all these rules, but then Even makes this strangled groan that sounds like it’s coming all the way from his stomach, rumbles through his chest and it makes all the hair on Isak’s body stand up. Makes him remember why he’s doing this in the first place.

Makes it easier for him to keep his focus.

With the addition of the second finger, it’s easier to keep up the rub on Even’s prostate. He keeps a constant pressure on it, just slow, continuous movements over it, just rubbing and rubbing and Even is clearly losing it under Isak.

He’s really flushing now, almost completely red from head to toe, and where his hair was starting to dry, it’s now starting to get wet from sweat instead, curling at the ends. His eyes are closed like he’s retreating into himself, and that’s okay. Isak understands just how much this is. Almost too much. There’s a point where doing this almost feels like it’s not even good anymore like the body is confused about all the sensations it’s getting. To make sure that Even is still with him, isn’t getting too lost, he puts his thumb on Even’s perineum, slides it up until it lies just where his balls are tightening and Even strains his entire body at that.

“Shit,” he mutters, sounding wrecked, and Isak has to swallow against the sudden dry mouth that gives him.

Isak is so distracted by the pretty picture Even paints like this that he almost doesn’t notice how Even’s hand is getting close to his dick, almost close enough to touch, but Isak leans forward to catch it in time.

“You can’t touch your dick, baby,” he says and is surprised by how steady his own voice sounds when he  _ feels  _ so affected by what’s happening.

Even whines, a high, desperate sound and it almost makes Isak want to change his mind and let him touch.

He takes Even’s hand, intertwines their fingers and lets him squeeze it hard. Almost too hard, but he doesn’t mind being an anchor for Even.

“I promise it’ll be good. I’ll make you come so hard you’ll feel it for days. Just wait, baby,” Isak says in that clear voice and Even just parts his lips and licks them.

And after a few long seconds, where Isak patiently waits, he nods.

Isak can’t help but smile, can’t help but squeeze his fingers.

He’s not in the most comfortable position now, his wrist and arm twisted to keep his fingers over Even’s prostate, bent over Even a bit with his other hand in his tight grip, but he doesn’t care right now. He doesn’t care if this makes his wrist fall off because it’s clear that Even is really getting into it now that he knows what’s happening, is letting Isak take care of him.

It makes Isak feel warm inside, makes his heart feel too big for his chest, how easily Even just gives himself over to Isak. Trusts him to take care of him.

And he will.

Even’s hips are starting to move, small aborted thrusts that almost seem to be against his will. But those small movements are helping Isak, are making the constant bombardment against Even’s prostate easier.

Isak’s eyes are constantly moving over Even’s body. He’s just so perfect like this. Isak wants to watch his muscles shiver, wants to watch his chest rapidly rising, wants to watch his pretty lips, quivering eyelids, leaking dick. He can’t decide. And his own dick is pulsing in his briefs, is throbbing from watching this play out and once again, he finds himself wishing there was a way for him to keep this perfect image of Even forever.

“Isak, I…” Even moans but his breath hitches and Isak watches him swallow a couple of times before he can continue. Watching how Even can’t even speak from what Isak is doing to him is making Isak’s dick throb to the point where he almost can’t stand that he’s not touching it. “It’s so good, so much,” Even finally continues and Isak hums in answer.

“I know. But just relax into it, baby. You’re doing so good, being so good for me,” Isak says in a low voice and watches in fascination as Even just nods.

Even pulls his hand away from Isak and puts it back on the duvet, fisting it hard, and Isak uses the reprieve to start pushing his briefs down as much as he possibly can so he can get his hand on his dick.

He almost weeps in relief when he wraps his fingers around it, he’s so hard and throbbing, desperate for any kind of pressure that he immediately gives into it and starts stroking himself. He tries not to let how fucking good his hand feels on his dick distract him from the constant movement of his fingers inside of Even, and he has to let up a bit to keep up the pace.

He’s making his own sounds now, mixing with Even’s moans and it’s the most beautiful song he’s ever heard.

Even’s dick is really leaking now, pulsing with every rub on his prostate and it’s obvious that he’s getting really close now. Isak hopes that Even’s able to relax enough that he can let go, that he’ll trust the experience and won’t fight it, even though he knows that it’s overwhelming.

Even’s starting to let out these small  _ ah, ah, ah _ sounds that shoot straight to Isak’s dick, make his balls pull up tight and all of a sudden, Isak isn’t sure that he’s able to wait until Even has come anymore.

Even lets his leg fall to the side, opens up so beautifully for Isak and as Isak looks up and sees how gone Even looks, he comes. It takes him by surprise, from being on the verge for so long to orgasm in seconds, and he works himself through it, strokes himself to completion as fast as possible so he can get back to making sure that Even comes. 

His cum lands on Even’s thighs and Even whines as it hits, probably oversensitive by now from all the sensations in his ass.

”Isak!”

And it’s like the sound is pulled from him, almost like it’s against his will, but he just can’t help himself and his voice sounds so affected, so on edge that it makes Isak moan. He’s almost overwhelmed with how much Even is into this, how fucking pretty he looks as he gives himself over to the pleasure Isak is giving him, and he almost wishes it would never end, that he could stay here and look at Even like this for the rest of his life.

But. There’s the small matter of how sore his wrist and fingers are getting, how his shoulder is starting to throb from the weird angle he’s holding it in and all these small discomforts are getting more and more clear now that he’s done coming.

He keeps it up though, keeps up the steady rub, changes it up once in a while so the angle changes just a little and watches in fascination as Even tenses all over.

He makes this strangled sound everytime Isak touches his prostate and it’s so swollen now, so easy for Isak to keep his fingers on. This new angle must be just right because he watches how Even’s breath speeds up even more, almost to the point of hyperventilation, how he scrunches his eyes and face, how every muscle in his body just gets more and more tense and Isak wants to eat him up.

He’s delicious like this.

Even opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but no sound comes out. He turns incredibly quiet instead, starts holding his breath in between harsh intakes of air and Isak can’t take his eyes away from how Even’s dick is twitching now as Isak rubs his prostate, the rhythm is exactly the same and there’s a constant string of precum dripping from it down onto Even’s stomach and Isak has never seen anything look so good in his life.

That silence slowly turns into a moan, a moan that keeps getting louder and louder and Even’s hands fly to his hair where he fists them and it must be painful, but Even clearly isn’t paying attention to it.

His balls are so tight against his body which is really starting to shake and Isak knows what’s coming now. Can recognize all the signs.

He wishes he could touch Even’s beautiful dick, feel him shoot as he holds it in his hand, but Isak desperately wants to watch Even come untouched, desperately wants him to experience it, and he knows that Even is seconds away.

The moan turns into a silent scream now, and Isak’s eyes fly from Even’s dick to his face, lingers there for a long second before he turns his attention back to his dick again, and he’s just in time to watch the first glob of cum being pushed from Even.

Outward, Even’s orgasm isn’t explosive and violent. His dick twitches as he comes, cum dribbling down the sides of it, so much cum, more and more until it’s covering the side of his dick in whiteness. His body convulses with every twitch, his back arches off the bed, his dick standing proud into the air, red and leaking and so, so mouth-watering that Isak almost can’t  _ breathe _ .

But inward, it’s clear that Even’s world is being rocked. His hands are buried in his hair, pulling at it, his eyes and face scrunched up into a grimace that Isak has never seen him make before and he’s turning his head from side to side, like it’s too much, and Isak knows this feeling, knows how overwhelming it is, but this part is just so good. He really wants Even to stay there for as long as possible. So he doesn’t let up, keeps rubbing, finds new strength to continue for as long as Even needs him to, and he’s panting himself, just from watching Even.

Even’s silent scream slowly turns into a hoarse shout and his legs pull up, opening himself even more to Isak as his body keeps convulsing and his arch is so tight that Isak almost worries that he’s going to hurt himself. But he doesn’t stop.

He watches Even lose it in complete awe, watches his dick leak cum all over itself, all over Even’s stomach, pooling at the root of it, his hair there, over his balls, down on the bed and it just keeps going. So much cum, more cum than Isak has ever seen from Even before and he wants to lick it up, wants to eat it, wants to pull his fingers out and push it into Even to use it as lube.

Isak can’t keep his own sounds in anymore. He feels his dick throb, reluctantly tears his eyes away from all that cum to look at his own half-hard dick, can’t believe how it can already be fattening up again.

But this. Even like this. It’s easily the hottest thing he’s ever experienced in his life. It’s perfect. He’s perfect.

And Even keeps going, keeps coming, empties himself, and he’s so tight on Isak’s fingers. Warm and soft and his insides clenches Isak’s fingers in time with his dick twitching. Isak is flushed and out of breath when Even finally starts to whine, starts to show the first signs of how Isak’s ministration are slowly turning overstimulating.

Isak continues but lets up a bit, knows that Even has more to give. He slows his fingers down, eases up on how hard he’s rubbing, and just graces the prostate now, just enough that Even can get the last remnants of pleasure out of it.

“Oh fuck!” Even moans and clenches so hard around Isak’s fingers that it almost hurts.

Isak graces it two more times, and then he stops. Just keeps his fingers still and it takes Even three long seconds, two harsh breaths before he seems to realize that Isak has stopped, and then all the strength in his body just leaves him, all at once, and he collapses against the bed.

He lies there. Eyes closed, chest rapidly rising, breathing hard, hair all over the place, and he’s so flushed and sweaty. He looks perfect.

Isak wants to lick the sweat off him, wants to put his hands all over him, wants to feel how hot and slick his skin is. He slowly pulls his fingers out, expects a whine or some sort of recognition from Even that he has, but Even doesn’t say or do anything when he does. He just keeps lying there, breathing, groaning, eyes closed, world shut out.

Isak sits back on his haunches and settles for just watching Even.

His softening dick is lying in that pool of cum, the one that Isak desperately wants to run his finger through, just so he can taste, just so he can make Even taste.

He needs to know if Even coming like that somehow make him taste different than he normally does. For some reason, Isak can’t help but think it’ll taste sweeter. That all those hormones released like this will make it taste better.

But he waits.

Waits for Even’s breath to start slowing, waits for the shivers wracking his body to start dying down, waits for Even to open his eyes.

And when he does, he looks straight at Isak.

It almost takes Isak’s breath away. The way Even looks at him... It’s just so intense, so full of meaning, so many feelings crammed into one look that Isak can’t wait anymore. He lies down next to Even, puts his hand on Even’s cheek and tenderly runs his thumb over Even’s cheekbone.

“Perfect,” he whispers into the small space between them and Even whines and closes his eyes. So Isak closes the distance between them, shuffles closer to Even so he’s within reach.

He ignores where his mouth has just been and gingerly kisses his lips, one at the time, moves on from them to the tip of Even’s nose, the protrusion of his cheekbone, his eyebrow, before he kisses both eyelids. He can feel that they’re a bit wet under his lips but doesn’t say anything about it.

He pulls back, just enough that he can speak. “You’re perfect. I love you so much.”

Even whines again and clenches his eyes shut, but after a short pause he opens them and looks straight at Isak, eyes flitting between his as if he’s looking for how truthful Isak is.

“I do. It was so amazing watching you cum like that.”

Even swallows, looks at Isak in that way that he does, but his look is turning softer, more tender, and that takes Isak’s breath away all over again.   

“It was very intense,” Even whispers, his voice rough and used and it sends shivers down Isak’s spine. Knowing that he’s the one to make him sound like that just really, really does it for Isak.

“I know,” he whispers back. He caresses Even’s cheek again with his thumb, curls his fingers around the small hair at his neck. “Did you like it?”

And Isak can hear how insecure his voice sounds, how it shakes with the question, but suddenly, he’s afraid that it was too much, that Even felt like he lost too much, afraid that he’ll pull back as he’s done before.

But he doesn’t have to wait for an answer because Even smiles, and it’s blinding and big and it’s reassuring to see that smile on his face. It makes Isak smile as well.

“Yeah. Fuck yeah,” he says, accompanied by a small huff of laughter. He leans in to kiss Isak, just a brief kiss, but it’s enough to make Isak relax again. “I really, really did.”

Isak wishes he could stay here forever. In this bed, surrounded by the sound, smell and heat of Even. But he can’t help it, can’t help but tease Even a bit.

“That’s a lot of cum,” he says and loves how Even’s face lights up.

“What, are you sorry that you didn’t get to taste it?”

And, well... Even knows him really well, doesn’t he?

Isak almost feels like he should be embarrassed by it, feels like he’s somehow exposed by what Even is saying, but he doesn’t. Not really. Not when Even looks at him like that, smiling and with so much love, it just makes him feel accepted. Not weird.

So he moves his hand from Even’s face, drags it over his hot, slick skin, down and down until he’s at the edge of all that cum on his stomach and then he looks into Even’s eyes as he runs his forefinger through it, scoops it up, coats his finger with it and then lifts his hand and puts the finger in his mouth.

He moans around it, closes his eyes for a second to how fucking good it tastes and then opens them to look into Even’s. Even looks much more serious now, like he’s getting turned on by watching Isak’s display.

And then he leans in and kisses Isak around his finger, licks at it with his tongue and moans as he tastes himself there.

Fuck. Isak really loves him.

He quickly pulls his finger away and opens his mouth to Even’s tongue instead, lets Even lick the taste of his own cum out of his mouth, and it’s making his dick hard all over with how much Even enjoys this as well.

When Even pulls back, his smile is back to full effect, but he collapses back on the bed and lets Isak hover over him instead.

“I’m so done now,” he says and closes his eyes. But he keeps the smile there, for Isak.

So Isak leans down and kisses his shoulder, lets his lips stay there and connect them.

“You don’t have to do a thing. I’ll take care of you,” he says and that somehow makes Even’s smile even bigger, and Isak is powerless against it. His own responding smile is so big that he can feel it stretching his cheeks with it.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he says and already sounds half-asleep.

And Isak can’t take his eyes away from him. He knows that he’ll have to get up to get something to clean Even with before the cum dries too much, before the sweat on his skin makes him cold and he starts to shiver. He knows all this and yet, he still can’t look away.

Before he leaves the bed, before he leaves Even’s side, he tells him.

“Well. You’re perfect for me.” His voice is barely a whisper but he’s more serious than he ever remembers being.

Once again, he’s reminded how lucky he is, how he really shouldn’t worry about doing what he wants with Even. It settles something inside him, this certainty that Even wants what Isak wants, that he always says yes.

Even really is perfect for him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P is for prostate milking
> 
> Caroline guessed it, congrats! :) 
> 
> For those of you who are interested, I’ve done some meta on the aftermath of L, you can find it [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/172440005714/the-latest-chapter-of-aa-was-aaamazing-i-was). :) :)


	20. E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 20!!!! I can't believe I've written 20 chapters of this!! :O :O
> 
> A massive thank you to all of you still reading. You're the best!! <3
> 
> Maugurt betaed this and she did a terrific job as always. Ily, babe <3 <3 
> 
> As you know, you can find out what the letter is in the endnotes if you can't wait.
> 
> Enjoy, my friends!! :D

”What the hell is this?” Isak asks and frowns at Even and the things he’s handing him.

“You’ll see,” Even says, but he’s smiling and it makes Isak relax a bit.

Even sits down next to Isak on the bed. They’re both in briefs and all Isak knows is that they’re about to do the letter. E. Even drew E a couple of days ago. And Isak’s been kind of hoping for another go at edging, but it certainly doesn’t look like that’s what Even has in mind.

“Okay,” Even says and passes the things to Isak. “You have a choice. I hope you’ll go for both of these things, but obviously, it’s up to you. No pressure, baby.”

Isak finally looks at what he’s holding, an eye mask, the kind you get on planes, and a pair of earmuffs. Before he can ask, Even continues.

“E is for eyes and ears.”

Isak looks at him, surprised, can honestly say that his mind has been nowhere near this. It still amazes him just how differently their minds work.

“Eyes and ears?” he repeats and Even nods.

And Isak gets it, he does. He knows how much Even likes when he has Isak completely at his mercy, when Isak lets him do what he wants with him. And honestly, it’s not like Isak doesn’t really enjoy that as well, but he’s never really considered this. Yeah, maybe the idea of a blindfold has crossed his mind from time to time, but never like this. Never combined with something else.

He looks at the eye mask and the earmuffs, lets himself take a minute to consider if he really wants to. But then he thinks about how much more it will probably feel, how every touch from Even will surely be accentuated to the maximum when Isak can’t use his eyes _or_ his ears. His dick twitches interestedly in his briefs. And it doesn’t matter how much he enjoys looking at Even and listening to Even, he knows he wants to try this.

So he looks up at Even and the moment his eyes meet Even’s he can see him light up, how excited he gets, just from Isak saying yes to this.

It makes it even easier for Isak to nod at him.

“Okay, okay,” Even says and gets up on his knees on the bed next to Isak. “Just put this on…” he grabs the earmuffs and tries to put them on Isak and they’re not coming on right, but he keeps going until Isak laughs and gently pushes him away.

“Let me do it,” he says. He decides to put the eye mask on first so the elastics won’t be in the way of the earmuffs. He puts the elastics around his head, puts the mask on his forehead, fingers ready to pull it over his eyes. “You want me on the bed when I’ve put this on?”

Even nods eagerly. “Yeah, on the bed is good. And then you just lie there and feel. I want to make you feel good.”

Isak can’t help but widen his smile at how cute Even is being and he slips the eye mask on the rest of the way, makes sure it covers his eyes completely and then he feels his way to the earmuffs in his lap and puts them on as well.

He pauses there, notices how weird this is, how he’s clouded in darkness with no sounds but his own breathing coming through. But then Even puts a hand on his shoulder and Isak takes that as his cue to crawl into the middle of their bed and make himself comfortable there.

“Okay, I’m ready,” he hears himself say and it’s so strange listening to his own voice like this, like he’s talking to himself and nobody else can hear him. He’s not sure how loud he just was, if Even even heard him, because nothing happens after.

Seconds tick by with Isak just laying there, listening to how loud his breathing is, how weird it sounds when he swallows. He’s waiting for Even to touch him, to do something, and he starts counting the seconds in his head to not give in to the urge to pull the mask off.

He reaches 37 before he feels a dip in the mattress, before he can feel how Even settles next to him from how the bed moves, and he waits for the touch he knows is going to come, but nothing happens.

Again, seconds tick by without Even doing anything but just sitting there, still, next to him. And Isak desperately wants to reach out, wants to touch Even just to know that he’s there.

The longer Even sits there doing nothing, the more Isak’s mind slides into this weird place where time becomes abstract. He’s not really sure how long they stay like that, could be seconds, could be hours, but his entire body is on high-alert. It’s like the nerves are reaching through his skin, trying to feel if maybe this is where Even will touch, tries to anticipate it. The hairs on his body are starting to rise, goosebumps breaking out over his skin, like it’s getting ready.

He’s almost shivering with how eager his entire body feels, even though he’s not cold. It’s the weirdest feeling, almost to the point of him losing it, almost to the point of him just telling Even to get a move on. He wonders what Even is doing, whether he’s just sitting there, staring at him. His gaze slowly sliding up Isak’s body, lingering at the bulge in his briefs, studying his abs and chest in that intense way that he does. Just thinking about it makes Isak’s breath speed up, makes him tingle and start to curl his toes to let some of the tension accumulating in his body out. And with a flush, he realizes that he’s starting to get hard.

He’s almost embarrassed by it, how easy he is. How his body betrays him, shows everything to Even. How he can’t even lie here still, waiting for Even’s next move without getting hard from the idea of Even sitting there looking at him.

He can’t stand it, can’t stand how obvious he is, and he’s just about to sit up, just about to pull the earmuffs and eye mask off so he’s not on display quite as much, when Even finally puts a hand on him.

It’s a shock to Isak’s entire system; every muscle in his body reacts, pulls up tight and he feels himself make this sound that sounds weird inside of him.

Even’s hand feels so big on him, lying there warm and reassuring just above his knee. Isak tries to get his breathing under control, but it’s hard, his entire body is tense and fighting him, small shocks of electricity shooting from where Even is touching him. From where Isak’s body anticipates he’s going to touch him next.

Isak is almost 100% sure that Even is going to slide his hand up Isak’s legs. He loves the feel of how soft Isak’s skin is on the inside of his thighs, how delicate and smooth the skin is. He’s told him plenty of times, has kissed and licked and touched over and over again with that reverent look in his eyes that tells Isak so much more than words ever could.

So when Even takes his hand away and puts it on Isak’s abs instead, just above his navel, spreads his fingers out so his hands almost cover the expanse of skin there, Isak just stops breathing. He holds it in, is so surprised by how on edge he already is just from this. From basically _nothing_. Even’s not even doing anything yet, he’s barely touching him, and Isak is already falling apart.

“Even…” he moans, or whispers, he’s not really sure, but it’s easy to feel how it affects Even, how it makes his hand twitch against the skin of his stomach. How it makes him move, finally.

His hand slides up, slowly, so, so slowly, it’s driving Isak insane. Isak’s entire body is revolting. He’s hard, he can’t believe it, but he’s hard already, and when the tip of Even’s finger finally reaches one of his nipples, Isak moans.

He feels it in his chest, throughout his body, hears the sound everywhere all at once, and Even’s thumb strokes over the nipple, makes it even harder. Isak clenches his teeth and pushes his head back in the pillow under him.

He’s breathing hard through his nose and it’s making so much noise inside his head that it’s hard to concentrate on anything else. Until Even’s finger is replaced by Even’s mouth on his nipple and Isak’s body is collapsing. Even’s mouth is so warm and wet, feels so foreign and so welcome and Isak knows he’s panting, knows he’s making noises, but it’s so strange not to be able to hear it the same way he usually does.

It makes him feel out of control, makes him feel like his skin is stretched too thin, and he just can’t stand it anymore.

“Touch me,” he moans into the darkness surrounding him, and Even must hear something in the way he says it because he does.

His hand leaves the skin of Isak’s body, but only for a short second, before it lands on Isak’s dick and he starts rubbing it through the fabric of his briefs right away. Isak gasps, opens his mouth in a way that makes him flush, embarrassed by how into this he is. His legs move of their own accord, spreading for Even, making room for him. And Isak is sure that Even makes a pleased sound at that but he can’t _hear_ it. It’s driving him crazy.

His own sounds keep pouring out of him, so loud inside his bubble, but it’s impossible to keep them in. He doesn’t even try, even though it bothers him that he doesn’t know just how loud he’s being.

But the way Even rubs Isak’s dick through his briefs is enough to distract him, the way his hand’s movements are steady and sure makes Isak curl his toes. It doesn’t take long before he’s frantic for more, before his legs are working against the duvet under him, rucking it up, making a mess of their bed. He just can’t lie still anymore.

Even releases him suddenly and by the way the bed moves under him, he feels how Even is moving around, changing position. And then he feels Even slowly peel his briefs off, pull them down over his hips, which Isak lifts eagerly, trying to help.

It’s a sweet kind of torture, the way it feels when Even pulls his briefs down over his legs. It’s like the nerves in his legs have moved into the hairs there and every centimeter the briefs are dragged over them feels like so much more, feels like Isak is being touched by a hundred fingers all at once. He can barely breathe from it, gasps between holding his breath, so completely focused on the way his body responds to what Even is doing to him, how the fabric sends small zaps of electricity over his skin, makes him shiver. Makes his dick twitch and drip down onto his stomach. He knows that the tip is wet and glistening, just how Even likes it and he hopes, prays, that Even will lick it off.

Even drags the briefs over his shin, over his ankles and lifts his feet one by one to get them off completely. And then Isak is naked. And Even stops touching him.

Once again, Isak doesn’t quite know how much time passes. He can’t count anymore, isn’t really capable of that right now, not with how his body is on fire, is just waiting and waiting for something, _anything_.

He startles when Even suddenly kisses his shin, right where his ankle turns into leg, and then he just continues kissing up Isak’s leg. Soft, wet kisses, interspersed with small licks that leave Isak writhing on the bed. Even’s hand follows his trail on the other leg, and it’s so big and covers most of Isak’s shin as it wraps around it. Isak can’t think about anything else, just this, just how Even’s warm, dry hand feels against his skin, how Even’s mouth and tongue are leaving a wet trail behind that’s slowly cooling down in the warm air of the room.

It feels amazing, it feels like _more_.

He’s pretty sure that he’s telling Even this, is pretty sure he hears and feels his mouth making words, but Even doesn’t speed up. Just keeps everything slow and soft, driving Isak mad in the process.

And then Even reaches Isak’s dick.

Isak can feel him breathing on it, can feel his dick twitch against the moist air being blown over it and Isak can’t keep still. Just can’t. He lifts his hips, trying to get closer to Even, trying desperately to find his mouth to get that warm heat on it.

But Even doesn’t catch it. He lets Isak work his hips, thrust into thin air until Isak gives up, until he lies back down flat on the bed and just breathes and breathes. Clenches his eyes and feels how wet they are.

That’s when Even envelopes him, when Isak feels how Even’s mouth surrounds him, massages him with his tongue, makes him shout in surprise.

It’s almost too much. After not having quite enough stimulation for so long, Isak’s almost gotten used to not getting what he needs, what he wants. And now everything is happening at once. Even’s mouth is so wet, saliva dripping down the length of Isak’s dick, like he’s been collecting it. Just for this. And he probably has because he knows just how fucking much Isak loves sloppy blowjobs, loves how it feels as that saliva runs down his balls, down his crack.

Even descends on him, takes his dick further into his mouth to the point where Isak can feel the tip of it reach Even’s throat, and all that tightness, the way it’s clenching around him makes him lose it. He thrusts, just a small one, just to relieve some of the tension. He feels how Even gags around him, how his throat gets tight and pushes him out. It makes Isak’s dick pulse with need, feels so amazing that his hands fly to Even’s hair to keep him there. The second Isak’s hands are on his hair Even stills, stops moving, keeps his mouth tight around Isak’s dick and Isak knows he’s making noises, can hear them inside his head, a constant buzz.

“Is this alright?” he asks, muscles tight and shivering from holding himself back. He wants to give in, wants to do what Even asks of him, but he has to know.

He’s not even sure how Even is going to answer him until he caresses his thigh, tenderly, softly, and it reassures Isak. He knows that they’ve agreed that he can pinch him if it’s too much, and that’s enough for Isak to get moving.

The first thrust pushes him far down Even’s throat, far enough that he becomes frantic for more. All that tightness around his dick, the way Even swallows around him, makes him sweat, makes him tighten his grip in Even’s hair. He can’t push his hips up anymore so instead, he pushes Even down, makes him take him in even further.

Isak is _dying_.

He almost loses himself in it, in the intensity of having his dick sucked like this, the feeling of the saliva dripping down his perineum, the softness of Even’s hair in his hands. It’s just so much. He’s lost in his head, in the loud noises he hears himself make in the darkness surrounding him. He’s all body and he can’t fight it, doesn’t even try. Just gives into it and starts chasing his own orgasm, thrusts into Even’s mouth and throat over and over again, and it won’t take much.

He’s already so close, the coil in his stomach tightening and tightening, heat rushing over his skin, balls pulling up tight. He gives into it completely when Even doesn’t pinch him, just opens his throat for him and Isak fucking loves it. Loves this man who just lets him do this.

It’s perfect. He’s perfect.

One hand slides from Even’s hair down to his neck, where he finds Even’s neck muscles hard at work, tense and tight and somehow, that pushes Isak even closer to coming. He can just picture the sight Even makes right now. Puffy, red lips, clenched, wet eyes, muscles tense and tight against the smooth skin stretched over it. He’s sure that Even is really pretty, looks really good as Isak is fucking his mouth, and he’s so goddamn sorry that he can’t see it.

But he gets why Even wanted him to try this. It’s so much easier to lose himself to the pleasure like this, to just give in to what his body wants. To stop thinking and just enjoy.

Everything just feels like so much more than it normally does. Like all his senses are focused on the nerves in his skin, on his body, everything is about touch. It’s like everything Even does is magnified by a hundred.

Isak is pretty sure he must look a mess. He’s so sweaty and can’t lie still, constantly moving, mouth working. He doesn’t know what he’s saying or what kind of noises he’s making, but it’s not really bothering him anymore. Instead, it’s just freeing in a way he’s not quite sure he’s ever felt like before. He’s stopped worrying about his appearance, things like that feels so far away with the way he’s isolated in his own body right now.

He loves it. He’s surprised by it, but he can’t deny it.

He speeds up a bit, fucks Even’s throat a bit harder and faster, he’s so close, just on the verge of coming, and Even lets him use him. Isak can feel him gag around his dick from time to time, but he doesn’t pinch him or pull away. Just lets Isak fuck him, force his dick further and further down his throat and it feels like Isak is slowly being set on fire.

His mind is blazing, pulse loud in his ears. Nothing else exists but this pleasure, all this sensation Even is providing him with. It fills him up, pushes him further and further along, until with one last thrust, he comes.

He doesn’t have time to warn Even, just starts coming, is pushed over the ledge suddenly and violently and he loses control of his limbs as he does. All that exists is the tight grip Even’s throat offers around his dick, the way he swallows around it, making sure that nothing gets wasted, and somehow that just makes Isak more frantic, come even harder. The way he’s filling Even up from the inside is just adding to it.

There’s so much sensation, pleasure shooting from his dick and his balls through his entire body, filling him up, making small shivers run over his skin. Every muscle in his body is tight, coiled to the maximum and he falls and falls.

When the last rope of cum is pushed out of him, Even slowly pulls off and it almost feels reluctant, if Isak has to put a word on it. Even’s tongue licks him as he withdraws, like he’s chasing the last remnants of cum, like he can’t get enough. Isak makes a sound at that, keeps his hand fisted in Even’s hair like he’s not ready to stop either, not ready to let go just yet. He keeps it there until Even’s mouth turns uncomfortable, on the verge of being overstimulating, and then he slowly unfolds his hand at the same time as his entire body collapses into the bed, every muscle in his body relaxing at once. He keeps his hands on Even though, one hand on his neck, the other on his hair, and runs his fingers through it.

He hears himself say, “That was…” but he doesn’t finish the sentence, just smiles instead, wide and big, because yeah. There really are no words for how he’s feeling right now. His body is still wracked with small aftershocks like it can’t really believe or comprehend what just happened. His blood pulses in his veins, endorphins bleeding into every crevice of him, making him feel better than he has in a long, long time, and he feels so alive.

Even makes him feel so alive.

Isak could stay like this forever, lost in this weird place inside his mind with his body turned to mush, but Even moves against him, just a quick jab of his hips that makes his dick slide against Isak’s leg and it’s clear that Even is hard and leaking himself. He must be hurting by now.

Isak knows how much he loves seeing him come, loves watching him lose it. He must be so close himself. He wants to give back, wants Even to feel some of what he’s feeling.

“Come up here,” he says, or shouts, he’s still not sure, but it does the trick.

He feels how Even walks up the bed, puts his thighs on each side of his head and then sits on his chest.

Isak opens his mouth wide, sticks his tongue out in anticipation of feeling Even. And Even doesn’t disappoint. Before Isak can even worry about his tongue getting dry, Even puts the tip of his dick on it and Isak’s mouth explodes with the taste of his precum.

He’s so _wet_. It’s so obvious just how much he enjoyed making Isak come like that. And Isak eagerly licks at the tip, trying to lick all the precum off. He hums around the taste, always loves tasting the evidence of Even’s want for him.

Even thrusts against his mouth, his dick sliding over his tongue, poking at his nose, and Isak just keeps it there even though his mouth is flooding with spit. He really wants Even in his mouth, wants him to come there, flood him with cum, and he wishes he could watch. Wishes he could see how desperate Even must look now.

And Even must be feeling the same, because he starts pulling at the eye mask, at the earmuffs, and Isak lifts his head minutely to make it easier for him.

The first thing he hears when the earmuffs come off is Even’s voice saying, “I want to see you.”

The next to go is the eye mask and Isak blinks against the sudden light he’s met with. It’s so much all at once, regaining all his senses after being so isolated, but he keeps his tongue out, lets Even slide against it, gets him wet.

When he’s done blinking, when his eyes are starting to get used to the light, he just looks at Even.

Even is a revelation on top of him.

Puffy, slightly parted, fucked-out lips, tongue poking out of his mouth to the side, hair falling down on his face. He’s naked and sweaty and flushed as far down as Isak can see and it’s just such a sight that Isak makes a weird strangled sound in his throat and puts his hands on Even’s thighs. Just to feel him.

Even is looking right at him, eyes bright and full of mirth and it makes Isak smile as much as he can with his tongue out like that.

And then Even puts his hand on his dick, changes the angle of it, pointing it downwards and then slowly feeds it to Isak. Isak just takes it, takes centimeter after centimeter of Even’s glorious dick inside, relaxes his mouth and throat as much as possible.

He loves this, loves the taste of Even, how he fills his mouth. He loves looking up at Even, seeing the concentrated look on his face as he slowly lifts up on his legs so he can feed even more of his dick to Isak. He’s looking at Isak’s mouth, is watching it getting stretched by his dick and Isak knows just how much Even loves that. And sure enough, his other hand finds its way to Isak’s face, fingers spread out on his cheek and Even’s thumb gently pulls at Isak’s mouth, makes his lips stretch even more.

Isak is sure he must look obscene like this, mouth wide and lips stretched from Even’s dick and fingers. Even makes a sound at the sight, a needy whine and his dick pulses against Isak’s tongue and his own twitches interestedly against his thigh. Like there’s even a chance he could get hard again this fast but it’s not like his dick got the memo on that.

Even is so far in his mouth, right to the point where he can’t go any farther with the way he’s sitting right now, and he starts to thrust shallowly into Isak’s mouth.

Even tastes so good, his sounds are like music to Isak’s ears and it’s so good to be able to hear and see. He can’t take his eyes off Even, not even when they start watering.

“Fuck, Isak!” Even exclaims and then shuffles into a new position, leans forward and puts his hands on the bed over Isak’s head and that makes him able to start thrusting down into Isak’s throat in a much better angle.

Isak tightens his grip on Even’s thighs, so into what Even is doing to him. He’s completely at Even’s mercy, just lying there with his mouth open and his throat as relaxed as possible, giving Even a wet, tight hole to fuck into.

And there goes his dick again, twitching against his thigh. He’s pretty sure that he’s actually fattening up a bit from what Even’s doing to him, even though it should be _impossible_.

Even starts thrusting, small shallow jabs that force his dick further and further down Isak’s throat and Isak moans around it, feels how the mix of spit and precum is running over, down the sides of his face. His chin is wet and glistening from where Even keeps rubbing his dick against it.

He wants more, he wants Even to _use_ him.

Even starts snapping his hips, harder and harder, faster and faster, and Isak just lies there and takes it. He pulls his knees up, puts his feet on the bed, making the position a bit easier on his body and he clings onto Even, his hands slowly sliding up his thighs, up to his ass where he just grabs on. He works Even’s ass, massages it, loves how it fills his hands, loves how Even is dominating him, keeping him there speared on his dick.

Even’s balls are starting to hit his chin with every thrust and Isak whines, a sound coming from a place so deep inside of him that he feels it reverberate in his entire body. And it must be doing things for Even as well because he curses and gets just a little bit rougher.

It’s just on the limit of what Isak can take.

Even is so deep in his throat with every thrust, and Isak fights the urge to gag as he goes deeper and deeper. Until Isak is sure that there’s no more room inside of him to give.

And then Even gives one last hard thrust, hitting the limit and Isak gags around him, clenches his eyes and spilling the tears sitting there in the process.

Even holds it there, lost in the tightness of Isak’s throat, in the push of his muscles, makes these _ah-ah-ah_ sounds that Isak knows. That Isak loves. And then he unloads himself in short sharp jabs, deep inside Isak’s throat, so deep he almost can’t taste it. Even shoots most of his load straight into Isak’s stomach and Isak moans at the feeling, holds onto Even’s ass so tight that he’s sure that it’s going to bruise from it.

But he doesn’t care, nothing matters but this, but how fucking good it feels to know that Even is filling him up. That his mouth is making him come. And that thought makes Isak open his eyes again. He has to look, has to see.

Has to take advantage of the fact that he can.

And all those lean muscles in Even’s torso are tight, stark against his skin, and Isak wants to lick and taste the sweat there. But instead, he focuses on the way Even’s dick keeps sliding in and out of his throat, small minute thrusts, designed to prolong Even’s orgasm as much as possible. And it’s not until Isak can barely breathe from all that dick in his mouth, until he’s afraid that he’s going to have to pinch Even and pull him from his daze, that Even slowly slides out of his throat, enough that Isak can take a much needed breath of air and then he keeps withdrawing.

And suddenly the taste of cum explodes on Isak’s tongue, makes his mouth flood even more, and he puts his lips tight around the tip and sucks. He wants to get it all, doesn’t want anything to go to waste. He moans at how that coaxes a few extra drops from Even, how it makes Even gasp, and then Even pulls out completely with a wet, obscene pop and Isak can finally breathe.

He’s panting, looking up at Even who looks down at Isak with big wide eyes, like he can’t believe what just happened.

“Whoa!” Even mutters and looks so surprised that Isak almost can’t stand it.

“Even…” Isak says and his voice is low and rough, barely audible and Even parts his lips in reaction to how fucked-out he sounds. Isak isn’t really sure anymore what he wants to say. All thoughts have escaped him from watching Even get affected like that.

Just from the way he sounds.

Fuck, he really needs to kiss him right now, needs to taste himself in Even’s mouth.

“Come here,” he whispers, nods his head to indicate that Even should move, and he does.

Within seconds, Even is lying next to Isak, pushes himself under his arm so his head can rest on his shoulder and he looks up at Isak. The way he does, the way his eyes carry so much admiration and tenderness, almost makes it impossible for Isak to breathe. His heart clenches and he can’t stand the distance between them anymore, leans forward and catches Even’s lips in a bruising kiss.

Even makes a whiny sound at it and that sound, once again, makes Isak’s dick twitch. But with the way they’re lying now Even is able to feel it and he chuckles at it.

“Wow, so eager,” he whispers smilingly against Isak’s lips and Isak can’t help but smile back. He’s not even really embarrassed by it.

“I’m always eager for you,” he says, and he means to say it matter-of-factly because he _is_ , but he sees how Even melts a bit at it, how he looks at Isak with that fondness that Isak has never experienced before Even.

Nobody has ever looked at him like Even does.

And he lifts his head and kisses Even again, but this time it’s soft. Loving. Tender, showing him everything he’s making him feel. Over and over again.

He’ll never get enough of this.

And it’s so amazing, how they can be so rough with each other and then so soft. Isak didn’t even realize that this is something you could do, that it could be possible to find somebody you could be both with.

“Jesus Christ, the sounds you were making!” Even says and he sounds so in awe that Isak feels how his cheeks flush and he wants to bury his head in the pillow and hide.

“Yeah?”

Even nods eagerly and bites his lip. “Yeah, Isak, it was so hot. You wouldn’t believe.” And then he kisses Isak, lets his tongue lick into Isak’s mouth and Isak moans again at how good their tastes mixed together like that are. “You don’t even realize how good you looked, how much you seemed to be enjoying it.”

“I was.” Isak doesn’t hesitate. It’s the truth. “It was good. Different, but good.”

And this time it’s Even’s turn to ask, “Yeah?” like he’s not sure, like he’s still a bit hesitant whether Isak likes what he’s suggesting.

Isak could weep at it, how insecure Even still gets sometimes. And Isak doesn’t care if it’s going to take him forever, he’s going to show Even just how much he’s worth. How fantastic that mind of his is.

He rolls over a bit, just enough that it’s easier for him to look Even in the eyes, so he’s sure that Even will see just how much he means it as he says, “Don’t you know that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you?”

Even pauses at that, eyes flitting between Isak’s, and Isak keeps still, tries to keep the expression on his face. He wants Even to see just how much he means it.

It takes a few seconds, a few long seconds where the silence sets between them. And then Even asks again, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

And those two words feel like more, feel like he just ripped open his chest and showed Even everything. But he’s not afraid. He wants Even to see, he wants Even to know.

Because it’s the truth.

Something settles in him when Even puts his hand gently on Isak’s cheek, strokes his cheekbone with his thumb, leans in so their foreheads touch each other, nose against nose.

And he doesn’t have to say anything. Isak knows, knows from the way Even holds him, how he breathes against him. How he fits in his arms.

He knows. And he won’t let himself ever forget.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E is for eyes and ears.
> 
> So! Irazor guessed ears and Valtermeme guessed eyemask. Congrats, my sweets! xD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one! Only 6 more to go, I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of this ride... <3
> 
> Although I'm already set on what's going to happen in the rest of the chapters, I'm always up for hearing what YOU wish for in the last chapters. Don't hesitate to let me know in the comments or on my blog... :) :)


	21. R

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Maugurt but I made her beta anyway... ;) Thank you for being you, babe, and I'm so glad you enjoyed this. <3 <3 
> 
> As always, you can read what the letter is in the endnotes. And now I'm just gonna let you get on with it. :)
> 
> Enjoy, my friends!

”Even,” Isak calls out, annoyed, with his head in the closet. “Did you forget to do the laundry? Again?”

He knows that Even heard him, knows it because he gets really silent in the kitchen where he’s making coffee for them.

Isak huffs, annoyed, goes to the kitchen to glare at Even as he continues. “Seriously, I reminded you yesterday! And now I have nothing to wear.”

Even looks guilty and well, that’s something at least. 

“I’m sorry! But Mikael called when I came home yesterday and I guess I just forgot.” He takes a step towards Isak as he continues, “I swear I’ll do it today. Can’t you just wear what you had on yesterday?”

Isak wishes he could. But he’d been out with the guys yesterday and there had been this accident with his kebab (or maybe not so much an accident as more Magnus knocking it out of his hands). Bottom line, Isak’s pants are ruined. And there are no clean ones left in the closet.

He feels the annoyance and anger bubble under his skin, all the words he wants to say, all the careless things he wants to yell at Even pressing to spill out of him. Like how Even always does this, how it’s impossible to make these kinds of arrangements with him because he never does the things he’s supposed to do. How it’s hard living with him when he’s so irresponsible. Isak has been taking care of himself for a long time, but he doesn’t want to be the only one who’s in charge of things. He wants Even to pull some of the weight too, without Isak having to tell him what to do and when to do it.

He manages to keep it in, though. He doesn’t want to shout at Even, doesn’t like to use that as an outlet for his anger. Can’t stand to see the hurt look on Even’s face as he does. It always makes him feel like shit after, when the anger has died down. So instead, he holds his breath, clenches his fists and turns around to go back to check the closet once more. Like maybe he somehow missed a pair of clean pants somewhere in there (he didn’t - he’s sure).

He’s muttering to himself under his breath as he does. He doesn’t really want Even to hear the things he’s saying, so he makes sure to keep it low. He just has to let it out in some way. This feels like the safest solution. 

He’s rummaging through the closet, pushing t-shirts and hoodies to the side. Right now, he’ll settle for a pair of sweatpants,  _ anything _ . He can’t wear those pants with kebab-sauce all over them. Everybody will think it’s  _ something else  _ and he’ll never hear the end of it. He just knows it.

And then at the very back, he finds them. 

He pauses, looks at them for a couple of long seconds. And then he sighs, even more annoyed because they really seem like his last choice. There really is nothing else for him to wear.

“Fucking Eskild,” he grumbles as he starts pulling them on. They’re so incredibly  _ tight _ that it seems like they’re fighting him the entire way. He’s jumping to help get them up his thighs and were they really this tight the last time he wore them? As he pulls at them, he sees the label on the inside claiming they’re slimfit, and Jesus Christ. They really weren’t kidding with that label. Thankfully, they’re not too tight around his stomach as he pulls the zipper up and closes the button. There’s nothing worse than something pressing on his stomach all day.

He finds a fresh t-shirt from the closet, thankful that they at least have a couple of those left, and as he pulls it over his head, Even suddenly makes a noise behind him.

“What are you wearing?” Even asks in this strangled voice that Isak hardly recognizes.

Isak glances at him over his shoulder, tries to push the still lingering anger away so he can talk to Even like a normal person. He pulls the t-shirt down over his stomach and shrugs as he turns his attention back to the closet to find a hoodie.

“Eskild gave me these pants when I lived at kollektivet. He was always complaining that my clothes were too boring for when we went out.”

He rolls his eyes fondly as he remembers Eskild’s face when he gave them to him. Isak remembers feeling self-conscious just from trying them on and he’s worn them exactly once to a party when Eskild insisted on it. Or threatened him to. Since then, they’ve just been lying in his closet, completely forgotten. Until now, that is.

Even makes another sound, a high-pitched groan that he tries to cover by coughing, and that makes Isak turn around to face him.

“They’re very… tight,” Even says in that strange voice, eyes glued to Isak’s thighs.

Isak frowns and pauses there. He spends a few long seconds looking at Even, seeing how he’s licking his lips, how he’s squirming on the spot. Isak can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.

“Are you into this?” he asks incredulously, even though it’s kind of obvious. His eyes flicker to Even’s groin and there’s already a predominant bulge there, obvious in his loose sweatpants. “Oh my god, Even!”

“What?” Even says distractedly, eyes just briefly glancing up at Isak’s eyes before they land on his thighs again. 

It’s making Isak feel very self-conscious like maybe they’re too tight. “I have to walk around looking like this all day!” he complains, but it doesn’t seem like Even understands. He bites his lip, smiles that half-smile of his and then he  _ mm-hmm _ s, like he doesn’t understand Isak’s objections, like he actually doesn’t  _ mind _ . 

He takes a step towards Isak, and then another, getting closer and closer, almost in a way that seems predatory. It makes Isak back up slowly, makes his annoyance disappear as he fights the smile threatening to break out.

He likes Even like this.

Isak doesn’t stop until he reaches the wall, flattens himself against it, and that’s when Even finally looks him in the eye.

“You look good in those pants,” he says and this time his voice sounds rough in all the right ways.

The way Even is looking at him, the way everything about him screams just how much he likes Isak in these pants, makes Isak’s skin tight, makes his heart speed up and his own dick twitch.

He expects Even to crowd against him, press him even further into the wall and he’s surprised when Even stops just short of reaching him. He puts his hands on Isak’s hips, grip tight and then he looks down. Isak can’t help but push his hips out a bit, flex the muscles in his thighs, show himself off to Even.

“Turn around, I have to…” he mutters as he pushes at Isak until he does.

And then nothing. Isak is standing there, forehead against the wall, hands fisted on each side of his head, already breathing harder, but Even doesn’t do anything. Isak finally turns his head to look and what he sees takes his breath away.

Even is standing close but far enough away that he can look down at Isak’s ass. He looks captivated, almost on overload; frozen to the spot, biting his lip. His eyes are getting darker and fuck. He looks so good.

It makes Isak want to tease him, makes him want to make him lose control a bit, so he pushes his hips out from the wall, arches his back and lets go of the wall with one hand so he’s able to pull at his t-shirt instead, making it tight around his waist.

“Isak…” Even croaks behind him, voice almost unrecognizable and that makes Isak smile.

“Yeah?” he asks all innocent, loves how his voice holds steady and he sounds so unaffected, even though he’s not. Not really.

Even doesn’t really answer him with words. Instead, he puts his hands reverently on his ass, just spreads them over the fabric there and they feel so big. Like they’re covering every centimeter of him. He just holds them there, lets the warmth bleed through, but it’s enough to make Isak push back into them, enough that his own dick is starting to fill out.

He almost forgets where he’s at and what he’s doing as Even squeezes his cheeks, softly, gently, like he’s trying to get a feel for Isak’s ass. Isak moans, pushes back, arches his back even further. He closes his eyes, enjoys feeling like this. Enjoys being touched like this, reverently, lovingly.

“Your ass. I’m…” Even mutters and Isak loves how it’s seemingly impossible for him to make full sentences. It makes him feel on top of things, makes him feel just how fucking lucky he is that he gets to have this all the way to his toes.

He turns around, kisses Even hungrily, fists his hands in his hair and pulls just the way he knows Even loves.

When he pulls back, they’re both out of breath, and Isak can’t look away from Even’s lips, all puffy and perfect and kissable.

“I have to go,” he says, but it’s not hard to hear just how reluctant he sounds saying that. “I have school.”

Even hums, acknowledging what Isak just said, but it doesn’t really make him stop. Instead, he leans in, kisses down Isak’s neck while his hands find Isak’s ass all over again, squeezing, kneading. Isak tilts his head and presses himself against Even, pushes his ass back into his hands and hates,  _ hates _ , that he has to leave.

“I really have to go,” he says, voice jumping as he does due to how Even sucks on the tendon of his neck, and he can hardly breathe from how good Even feels against him.

“Okay,” Even answers, but just keeps kissing, keeps touching.

Even pushes against him again, pushes until Isak is up against the wall, and Isak is so weak for Even like this. He puts his hands under Even’s t-shirt, runs his fingers up his back, feels out all the warm, soft skin there. He closes his eyes and moans when Even pushes a thigh between Isak’s legs, rubbing against his hard dick.

He knows he’s running late, having already spent so long trying to find something to wear. He knows that he has to leave if he wants to make it to class on time. But Even isn’t really making it easy for him. He’s giving Isak’s dick some lovely friction and it takes every ounce of self-control that Isak has ever possessed to push Even away.

Even doesn’t let himself get pushed away easily, though. He fights it, keeps chasing Isak’s lips as he pulls away and he makes this distressed, annoyed sound in his throat when Isak starts putting more strength into the way he pushes against Even’s chest.

“I really have to go now,“ Isak says and this time he sounds more sure. As soon as Even isn’t pressed against him anymore, it’s easier for him to get his mind back on track, easier to remember that he has to catch the tram or he’s going to be late. And the first class is biology and Sana is waiting for him and he’s never going to hear the end of it if he’s late.

He finally makes himself leave Even, shakes his hands and shoulders out to ease some of the tension there and discreetly tries to make his erection more comfortable in the tight pants.

Even makes another sound and when Isak looks at him, his eyes are set on Isak’s hand.

“What’s with you today?” Isak asks, genuinely baffled as to why Even’s so sexed up this morning.

“I’ve never seen you in anything this tight before,” he says, clearing his throat as if he’s kind of ashamed to admit it. “It’s a good look on you.”

Fuck. Even’s looking at him in that way again, that way that makes him weak in his knees, makes him want to just grab him and throw him on the bed and have his way with him.

Isak deliberately tears his eyes away from Even, from how fucking delicious he looks, and turns his attention to his backpack instead. He finds it in the corner, thrown to the side when he came home last night, and when he bends down to collect it, he hears Even curse behind him.

He can’t help but smile, almost laughs at how easy Even is, and he stays there for longer than he has to, fiddling with the bag, pretending to look through it to see if he has the right books even though he knows he does.

He doesn’t turn around until he hears the sound of a shutter behind him and when he does, he finds Even holding out his phone.

“What are you doing?” he asks even though he knows. He fights the urge to take the phone from him, nervous about what Even will do with that picture.

“I am taking a picture for me, to look at as many times as I want during the day. Because damn, Isak. I just want to look at your ass in those pants all the time. I’m pretty sure my memory won’t do it justice.” He’s wiggling his eyebrows and smiling. He knows just what to say to make Isak’s nerves ease.

Isak knows that he’s going to have to run to catch the tram now, but he can’t leave Even like this. Not when he’s being all cute and kissable.

So Isak turns around again, arches his back, pushes his ass out, lifts his t-shirt and makes sure that Even can get a good shot of him.

“Is this a better angle for you?” he asks, all innocent and playful, and he chuckles when he hears the kind of noise Even makes behind him.

Even’s phone clicks more than once, he even lets Even step a bit closer to take another photo. But then Isak drops the pose and leans forward to grab his back. He throws Even a kiss over his shoulder as he goes into the hallway to get his jacket and shoes and as he leaves he calls out, “See you later, baby!”

Even doesn’t answer back, but that’s alright. Isak didn’t really expect him to. Not with those photos on his phone.

He just makes it to the tram in time, is in school a whole 5 minutes before the class starts. He sits down heavily next to Sana with a big smile on his face as Sana looks at him with raised eyebrows, nodding at the clock.

“Shut up, I’m not late all the time,” he says and knocks his shoulder against hers to take the brunt of it away.

She returns his smile, dimples and all, and he leans back in his chair and waits for the class to start.

\--||--

By the time Isak comes home later in the afternoon, he has everything planned.

Even’s reaction to him in these pants has made him think. He still hasn’t used the last letter he picked, which is R. It’s been a few days and he’s almost forgotten about it because they’ve been so busy. But he knows that tonight they’re both home and they don’t have any plans.

As soon as he opens the door, he’s greeted by the smell of Even’s cooking and Even’s  _ hey _ from the kitchen. Isak makes quick work of taking his shoes and jacket off and then goes to Even in the kitchen.

Even is putting together what looks like lasagna and he turns his head to kiss Isak.

“Hey,” Isak says back after the kiss and puts his arms around Even, his chin on his shoulder. Enjoys being this close to Even.

They stand like this while Even finishes the lasagna. Isak watches him work, rests his hands on the inside of Even’s t-shirt on his stomach, skin against skin, just listening to him talk. Asking him questions from time to time just to keep him talking. He likes feeling the vibrations of his voice through his back where they’re touching.

Sometimes, this is all he needs. When his mind feels like it’s about to explode, his body so tight with stress that he doesn’t even think he’ll ever get to relax again, it’s this. Just being close to Even, touching him, listening to the timbre of his voice. It’s enough to keep him grounded, to make him relax enough that he feels like himself again.

When Even is done, he shuffles sideways to the sink, slow enough to make sure that Isak can keep his arms around him while shuffling along and then he washes his hands. When he’s done drying them, he turns around in Isak’s arms and kisses him, long, lingering, sweet.

He pulls back, pushes a lock of hair away from Isak’s forehead and whispers, “Hey,” again. Like he knows that Isak doesn’t need more right now.

Isak hums, can feel his mouth stretch into that crooked half-smile that Even likes to point out to him that he loves and Isak wishes he could stay like this forever. He leans forward and kisses Even again, just because he can. Because he really wants to. There’s no real rush to what they’re doing. It’s like they have all the time in the world for this.

Until Even’s hands slide down to Isak’s ass and he squeezes hard, moaning into the kiss.

“Fuck, these pants,” he mutters against Isak’s lips, making Isak laugh and pull back.

He rests his head on Isak’s shoulder, lips on the skin right where Isak’s shirt stops.

“Have you looked at the pictures today?” Isak asks, unable to keep himself from chuckling. It’s weird that Even is so affected by these pants. He’s seen him naked a thousand times. He’s not sure he understands why this is seemingly different. But he’ll take it. 

“Oh god. So many times. I’ve been half-hard all day just thinking about you walking through the schoolyard looking like that. Wishing I could’ve been there to watch you and put my hand on those thighs during lunch, maybe even pull you into a bathroom to make you…“

Isak stops him with his mouth.

He has to kiss him, he  _ has  _ to. He’s already hard, just from hearing Even talk like this, just from his hands kneading his ass. He’s been wondering about this all day, whether Even was sitting at home looking at his phone.

Getting off to the idea of Isak wearing these pants. To the picture of him in them.

“Fuck. I’ve thought about you as well,” he mutters and Even makes this strangled sound, like it’s almost too much on top of everything else, and then he pulls at Isak, makes him follow him towards the bedroom.

“I need to fuck you right now,” he says. And oh. Hearing Even talk like that makes Isak flush, sends waves of want through his body so powerful he can barely breathe from it.   

“Yeah,” he manages to get out, even though his mouth feels too dry to talk. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

He lets himself get pushed towards the bed, lets Even direct him there as they kiss and touch. Even’s hands are constantly on his ass, feeling his cheeks through the pants, squeezing, and Isak loves how much Even is into him. How much he can turn him on.

When they reach the bed and Isak feels it against his the back of his legs, Even tries to push his hands down the back of the pants to be able to feel Isak’s ass, but he gets stuck.

“They’re so tight,” he mutters and Isak can’t help but smile because it doesn’t really sound like a complaint, even though it should be.

Before he knows it, he’s pushed back on the bed, bouncing from the suddenness, until Even climbs on top of him. 

As soon as Even’s lips find his, the kiss turns hungry and brings with it a new urgency. Even is already pushing at Isak’s clothes, trying to get it off even though he’s still lying on top of him. Isak fights the laughter threatening to bubble over, doesn’t want to discourage Even. It’s so good to feel him this worked up, he doesn’t want to ruin it.

Even is making small, annoyed grunts at them not budging until Isak takes pity on him and helps him out. His t-shirt is the first to go and as soon as it’s off, Even pulls his own off. He opens the button on Isak’s pants and tries to push them down his ass while he keeps kissing him, but they’re not really going anywhere. 

Reluctantly Even pulls off, cursing under his breath as he sits back on his haunches. He grabs onto the sides of Isak’s pants and starts to pull. 

Isak lies there, has been in this situation a couple of times himself today so he knows how hard they are to get off. But he enjoys watching Even. He’s so concentrated, frowning, pulling and cursing as they slowly start to inch down Isak’s thighs.

“Fuck, it’s like unwrapping the world’s most difficult present,” Even curses and Isak can’t help it. It’s just not possible for him to keep it in anymore, so he lets the laughter overflow.

As soon as he does, Even looks at him, eyes bright and perfect, clearly so happy to hear Isak laughing. 

“I hope you think it’s worth it,” he laughs.

Even looks at him in that way, with those tender, soft eyes. “Yeah,” he whispers.

Isak just can’t lie there anymore. He gets up on his elbows, reaches for Even, who comes easily, and kisses the shit out of him. 

He just needs him close.

He turns them over on the bed so he has Even under him, tries to keep kissing him as he works the pants off the rest of the way, and he’s successful most of the time. 

As soon as they’re off, it’s easy to get the rest of their clothes off and then they’re finally naked.

Isak is sitting on top of Even, knees on each side of his glorious hips and he rolls his own over Even’s dick, teasing him as he swallows the moans pouring from him.

Even is so worked up, he’s so hard and leaking that Isak can feel it ease the glide and knowing that it’s all because of him makes him flush, makes his dick twitch and makes his skin tight with a new sense of urgency.  

Even’s hands are everywhere, touching, squeezing, pinching his nipples, grabbing onto his hips and his arms, like he can’t decide where to stop. Like he’s too far gone to even consider staying in one place. 

“Get the lube,” he mutters against Isak’s lips and Isak gives him one good, lingering, long kiss before he does.

Even makes a noise of complaint when Isak gets off him, but Isak ignores it, pretends not to notice and just grabs the lube. He gives Even a quick kiss before he turns around and straddles Even, but this time, he’s facing away from Even.

“What are you doing?” Even asks while he puts his hands on Isak’s hips. 

Isak shuffles backward until his ass is on top of Even’s dick, rolls his hips once, just to try it out in this position, and smiles when he hears Even moan. 

“It’s R for reverse cowboy,” Isak says and opens the lid of the lube. “I thought you might enjoy it after today.”

“Fuuuuuuck,” Even curses behind him, moves his hands to Isak’s ass and squeezes his cheeks hard. 

It sends shocks of electricity through Isak, makes him feel it all the way to his toes. Everything Even does is coated in desperation. He’s being rougher, harder, faster with everything he does and Isak revels in it. 

So he doesn’t waste any time coating his fingers in lube, heating it up while he throws the lube to the side and then he slowly, deliberately, making sure that Even can see  _ everything,  _ puts his hand behind him, right on his crack, over his hole.

He circles his fingers around his rim, runs them up and down his crack, pauses briefly on his hole before he moves on and it feels so good. The sounds Even’s making, the way his breath stutters, makes it even better. 

Isak arches his back, pushes his ass out, makes sure that Even can see everything he’s doing. And then he pushes one finger inside.

They moan in unison and it feels like so much more than a finger. It feels like Even’s want is bleeding into him, is making this more.

He puts his other hand on Even’s thigh, spreads his legs a bit more so he’s resting on Even’s dick, pushing it down into his stomach. He feels it pulsing against him, against where he’s so sensitive. There’s no doubt how much Even wants this, how eager he is for him.

“Another one,” Even says and Isak obliges. He can’t tease him right now, not when it feels so good.

The second finger slides in easily too.

He exhales shakingly, feels how that makes Even tighten the grip on his hip, makes him grind his hips up, sliding his dick against Isak’s perineum, forcing another moan out of Isak.

Fuck. He’s only two fingers in, he’s not sure how he’s going to survive Even’s desperation once he gets his dick inside of him.

He starts sliding the fingers in and out, reveling in how good they feel opening him up, stretching him. Getting him ready.

Even lets go of him with one hand, but Isak hardly notices. He’s so focused on the fingers in his ass, on the way Even feels against him. He almost misses the slurping sounds from behind him, and he turns his head to see Even sucking two fingers into his mouth, making them wet with saliva. When he notices Isak looking, he hollows his cheeks, keeps his eyes on Isak while he puts on a show for him.

“Yeah,” Isak mutters, without even thinking about it.

Even’s mouth releases his fingers with a wet pop while he thrusts his hips up, making Isak see stars, making him close his eyes and throw his head back.

He’s already sweating, can feel the flush slowly work its way down his body. He’s been on edge for so long, thinking about Even thinking about him.

Somehow, there’s nothing hotter than Even getting turned on by him.

He’s working up a rhythm himself, rolling his hips on top of Even over and over again, skin tingling, pleasure running over him in waves with every roll. He’s so hard, dick standing out, bobbing with every roll.

Even’s hand comes back on him, finding the place where Isak’s fingers disappear inside his ass. Isak holds his breath when Even pushes one in next to his, concentrates on the added stretch, on how long and perfect Even’s finger feels inside of him. He lays his hand on top of Isak’s so it’s almost like they’re holding hands, joined all the way inside.

And then Even takes control of the hand, gently starts pulling them out, almost all the way before he roughly pushes back inside, forcing all the air out of Isak’s lungs.

He does it again, and then again, making Isak tremble and forget about everything but what’s going on inside of him, before Even pauses, rearranging his hand on top of Isak and then his second finger joins the others.

It’s a lot. Four fingers is a stretch, a slight burn. Even’s fingers are so goddamn huge next to his, but there’s room inside of Isak for this.

There’s always room for Even.

He feels how his body eases, accommodates, settles.

All that pleasure radiating from his ass to his perineum being worked by Even to his dick that’s leaking now, making him wet, dripping down the length of it and it feels like Even has transferred all that desperation to Isak.

The need for Even feels so big inside of him, too big, feels like more than want and desire, feels like he has to get him inside of him or he might die.

“Even, come on,” he says with this rough voice he barely recognizes.

“Yeah,” Even mutters and pulls his fingers out, and as he does, Isak feels how his hole clenches around his own fingers like it wants to keep Even inside.

He barely registers Even searching for the lube or the click of the lid when he finally finds it. Isak’s dick is aching between his thighs, hanging there, neglected, begging to be touched. But he can’t. He’s so close already, just from this, there’s no way he could touch himself now and not come in two strokes.

So he keeps away from it, tries to redirect his attention to his ass where he knows Even will fill him up in a bit.

He does notice the slick sounds of Even working the lube over his dick and it makes all the hair stand up on his body, makes goosebumps break out all over. He’s so sensitive, alert to every move Even makes behind him, every stroke of his hand as he’s getting his dick wet for Isak.

“Lift up,” Even directs and Isak does. No hesitation, no teasing. Just gets up on his knees and waits for Even to be ready.

It’s a shock to the system when Even rubs the tip of his dick against Isak’s hole, his breath stopping, sweat breaking out, dick pulsing.

Even lines himself up and then tightens his grip on Isak’s hip, pushing him down, showing him that he’s ready.

So Isak goes.

The blunt pressure against his hole makes everything around him narrow down to just this. There’s nothing else in the world but this, but them. Just Even’s dick pushing at him until he yields, until he opens up for him and then it’s just one long slide in, in and in and it feels like it’ll never end and nothing has ever felt better than this.

Once Isak finally settles on Even’s hips, his dick as deep inside of him as it can possibly get, he stays.

It’s not really that he needs a moment to accommodate, there’s nothing uncomfortable about sitting here, speared on Even’s dick. Nothing.

It’s just so much.

So much to feel Even shivering under him, like he’s as overwhelmed by this as Isak is. To feel the stretch and the way Even fits inside of him, like Isak was made for him, made for this. To feel how Even’s grip on his hip gets tighter and tighter the longer Isak sits there, until he puts his other hand on his hip as well, holds him in a vice, and there’s no doubt that Even is riding a fine line.

He stays, not sure at this point if he’s teasing Even or himself, but there’s just something about this, about being the one to decide when it’s time to continue.

Isak can imagine the sight he makes there, ass and hole on display, everything put out for Even to see. He can’t hide here, can’t cover the most private part of him.

But it doesn’t bother him, doesn’t make him feel exposed or like he’s pushing himself. This is Even. There’s nothing he wouldn’t show him, nothing that’s too private for him.

And that’s what finally makes Isak move.

He rolls his hips, slowly, making Even reach deep, deep inside of him, rolls his hips back and forward, pushing his ass out, making the muscles in his back pop and he knows how much Even loves that. Loves watching his body work.

So he keeps doing it, revels in how it makes Even sound, the small groans and gasps that he hears from behind him, how tight Even is holding onto him. How his legs are moving under him all the way to his toes that are curling and uncurling, trying to release some of the tension his body is holding.

And then he does it a little bit faster, testing his own resolve because Even feels perfect inside of him. Big and everywhere, all at once.

Even is muttering and cursing behind him, so many words and sounds that Isak can barely understand them. His entire body feels like it’s on fire, embers burning under his skin, and he has to move more, he  _ has _ to. The rolls aren’t enough anymore.

So he lifts up onto his knees, feels how the entire length of Even slides out, rubs against his sensitive rim until the head pulls at it, and then he slams down on it.

There’s so much sensation inside of him. That movement fills him out, erupts in him, forcing all the air out of his lungs, making the blood boil inside of him.

So he does it again.

And again.

“Isak,” Even says behind him and moves one hand up his back, setting Isak’s skin on fire as he does, all the way up to his shoulder where it stops. It lies there, like a weight forcing him down over and over again, and every touch, every moan and sound from Even makes it a little bit better, just adds and adds to it until Isak feels like he’s about to explode.

His thighs are burning and he desperately needs to touch his dick. With every rough slide, it slaps against Even’s thighs, against his stomach and every time, it sends zaps of electricity through it, makes his balls  _ ache _ with the need to come.

Even feels so good inside of him, he can’t help but chase the feeling, wants more and more and more. Without conscious thought, he starts leaning back, lets his body decide where to go, puts one arm on Even’s chest, enabling him to keep rolling his hips.

And this, this is so much better, Even fits perfectly inside of him like this.

He throws his head back, clenches his eyes shut and lets the sounds pour from him freely. Doesn’t even try to hold back, wants Even to know just how good this feels to him.

“Isak,” Even mutters, saying his name like a prayer and Isak  _ knows _ . He knows what this must do to Even, Even who’s so visual, loves looking at Isak, loves when Isak lets him.

This must be like pleasure heaven for him, watching his dick disappear inside of Isak, watching how eager Isak is for him, watching his muscles work as his body takes him deep inside over and over again.

The thought alone makes him sweat even more, makes everything feel so hot and he desperately wants to see Even, wants to know what his face and eyes are doing. But at the same time, it’s an experience not being able to. Even doesn’t hold anything back, there’s no question that he’s enjoying this just as much as Isak. All the sounds, the way his legs can’t really lie still. The way the grip on his shoulder gets tighter and tighter like he’s holding himself back.

Isak doesn’t want that. He wants Even to give him everything, wants him to take and take.

“Fuck me,” he pleads, voice so low he can barely hear it himself, but he definitely hears the strangled sound Even makes behind him, making it clear that Even heard him.

Even shuffles his legs, puts his feet on the bed for purchase and then he uses the grip on Isak’s shoulder to hold him steady as he starts pounding into him, pulls him down over and over again, fucks into him just right and Isak can’t breathe.

Even is losing control and nothing is better than that.

It’s like a shock to the system how rough and fast Even is. It makes Isak feel like he’s losing control too from the way he’s just being held there, being fucked so fucking good, just right.

Even fills him over and over, drilling up and up and up until Isak is sure that there’s no more room inside of him. The sound of skin slapping against skin is loud in the room and Isak is so close. He needs to touch himself. 

As soon as he’s had that thought, he puts a hand on his dick and it’s such a relief to finally get some friction he could sob with it.

He starts working himself, strokes in time with Even’s hard thrusts, and he’s so close, balls pulling up tight, feels like a string ready to be cut.

“Isak, I can’t…” Even mutters, and it’s obvious from how his body is shaking, how tight he’s holding him, how frantic he’s fucking Isak, that he’s so close himself.

So Isak lets himself fall.

Works his hand over his dick a few more time, fast and hard and a bit rougher than he normally likes to be and as Even fucks up into him, he comes.

It’s such a relief, pleasure radiating through his body, sounds spilling from his mouth, breath hitching as everything tenses in him. He keeps stroking, works himself through it, feels how much bigger Even is inside of him as he clenches around him, and Even keeps fucking up into him. Doesn’t slow down or change the rhythm, just continues, prolongs Isak’s orgasm, makes everything feel like so much more.

Isak shoots and shoots, paints his stomach in white, clenches his hand on Even’s chest until his nails are buried in his skin.

As soon as the last drop has left him, all the tension disappears from his body, leaving him weak enough that he can’t hold his weight on his arm anymore. It collapses under him, makes him fall on top of Even, and if Even wasn’t holding on so tightly, he’s sure he would’ve continued falling onto the bed.

Instead, Even puts his arms around him, holds him tight on his chest, supports all of his weight.

And then he just uses Isak’s body, fucks up into him harder than before, mindlessly chasing his own orgasm, rubbing against Isak’s sore walls and rim over and over again, and it should be uncomfortable. It  _ should _ .  

But it’s not.

There’s just something about this, about just lying here uselessly, getting fucked so good by Even, that makes it all worth it.

The sounds Even is making, moaning straight into his ear, makes it hard for Isak to relax after his orgasm. Makes the blood keep boiling in his veins, makes his heart beat way too fast.

He still has his hand on his dick, keeps stroking it gently, and even though he should be too sensitive for more,  _ is _ too sensitive for more, it’s just too good not to.

Even keeps him there in a tight grip, just keeps pushing Isak down on his dick and it’s enough to make Isak moan. Enough to make him turn his head and mouth at Even’s cheek, at his jaw, at whatever he can get his lips on. Even doesn’t kiss back, seems too far gone to even be able to, and that makes Isak tighten his grip on his dick again, makes it twitch in his hand.

He’s made Even like this, made him feel so good and so much that he can’t even kiss him back.

His hand and dick are still slick with his own cum, helps the slide over his dick, makes the friction less of a problem.

Makes it feel really good all over again.

Even’s rhythm starts stuttering, his grip so tight on Isak that he can hardly breathe, and with one final shove that pushes Even so deep inside of him that Isak spreads his legs a bit further, he comes. His entire body convulses under him, hips pushing to drill deeper, deeper, and Isak wishes he could feel Even come inside of him. Wishes he could feel his insides being coated with Even, feel Even leaving something of himself inside of Isak, so deep that he hopes it’ll just stay there.

The knowledge that he’ll be dripping cum the rest of the day, that he’ll be feeling Even every time he notices the wetness between his cheeks, makes him work his dick faster. And he’s hard again by now, already starting to leak, already getting closer to coming all over again.

“Isak, Isak, Isak,” Even mutters against him, going soft and gentle, easing his grip around him.

Isak clenches around Even, doesn’t want him to slip out just yet, wants to be suspended here on Even’s dick, on Even’s body, stuck in this moment for as long as possible.

Even’s hands start caressing his chest, his sides, small kisses on his cheek and jaw that are clenched so tight from how fast he’s working himself.

He really wants to come again, needs it, feels like it’s just out of reach but so close. He’s never come two times this close together, but it doesn’t feel like it’s impossible.

His balls are already pulling up tight all over again, still so sensitive from the last orgasm and Isak can’t believe he can actually do this.

Even lifts his head, seems to finally notice what Isak is doing, and the sound he makes when he does, this high-pitched throaty groan from deep inside his chest, does things to Isak. Makes his mouth slack so he’s able to breathe.

“Fuck, Isak. Can you?” Even asks and Isak nods frantically.

He doesn’t care that he’s probably too heavy lying on top of Even like this. He spreads his legs more, as far as they can go in this position and his muscles stretch in new ways and it’s close to being unbearable, but he doesn’t care.

He’s just chasing it now, everything else comes second.

Until Even puts his hand over Isak’s, helps him tighten the grip, slides his thumb over the wetness covering the tip of his dick and Isak moans way too loudly for how small the room is.

Even is still so big inside of him even though he’s getting softer. It’s making Isak feel slobby like he’s too big for Even. The cum is starting to seep out of him, around Even’s dick, down his crack, and it’s such a delicate feeling that feels so big along with how fucking good their hands around him are.

It’s so much. It’s just right. Just what he needs.

Even slides his other hand up Isak’s body, all the way over his chest, up his throat where it pauses until he continues to grab Isak’s jaw and force Isak’s head to the side where his lips envelop his in a searing kiss.

Isak can’t breathe, Even is everywhere, fills every part of him, covers every part of him worth covering.

So he lets go.

It’s almost painful coming this time, it starts in his dick, pulses through his stomach and groin through his balls until it reaches his entire body, makes him clench everywhere. And it’s so big inside of him, wave after wave of just bearable pleasure, filling him up until his skin is stretched thin, until he opens his mouth and lets it out in a scream against Even’s mouth.

Even swallows it up, keeps his lips against his with that strong grip on his jaw, doesn’t let him go anywhere. His hand takes over now, works Isak’s hand over his dick, makes his dick shoot and shoot and shoot until Isak can’t believe there’s anything left in him. But Even keeps going, makes it last and last and Isak doesn’t know how he’ll ever go back to wanting anything else than this.

And with one last squeeze, one last stroke, Isak is all empty. There’s nothing left even though his balls are still pulsing, his dick still twitching, still reacting to Even’s touches.

And then everything just stops.

He’s got nothing left to give.

All the tension in his body leaves him all at once and he collapses on top of Even, heaving, shaking, tears running from his eyes. It’s so much, it’s just on the right side of too much.

He feels stretched thin, exposed, feels like hiding from the intensity of it. And Even must feel it on him, shushes him gently and unwraps his hand from Isak’s dick as he rolls onto his side, all the way until Isak is lying on his stomach and Even is lying next to him with his leg and arm over him. Holding on to him, keeping him from falling apart.

Even holds him, strokes his skin gently, kisses his hair. Lets Isak come down gently, makes him feel safe and loved and taken care of.

And Isak lets himself feel it. Just closes his eyes and lets Even hold him through it. Lets himself take all the time he needs until he feels ready to face the world again, even if his world right now is just Even.

When he finally opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Even.

Those blue eyes, that small smile. He looks so happy, so in love, and it takes Isak’s breath away all over again from how lucky he is that he gets to have this.

“Hey,” Even whispers into the small space between them and it makes Isak smile. It always amazes him how Even can say so much with so little, how with that one word he’s also asking  _ are you okay? are you back with me? is there anything I can do for you? _

But everything is perfect.

Isak can’t remember feeling better than he does at this exact moment.

So instead of answering, he just leans in to catch Even’s lips and he makes sure that he tells Even just as much back with that kiss. Makes it gentle and soft and tender and Isak knows that Even gets it when he tightens the grip around him and pulls him closer.

When he pulls back, gives into the exhaustion he’s feeling in his entire body, he relaxes into the bed and closes his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t fall asleep like this, knows he’s going to be so annoyed with himself when he wakes up with cum dripping out of his ass and his pubes glued together with dried up cum.

But right now, he just doesn’t care. He’s just so warm and his body is aching in all the right ways and Even is holding him just right, making him feel so loved and safe.

It’s easy to just let his mind slip and allow his body to follow.

Just before he dozes off completely, he hears Even whisper, “You’re keeping those pants.”

It makes him smile even though he’s already half-asleep and that’s how he finally goes under.

Smiling, sated, loved.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R is for reverse cowboy.
> 
> Ayesha guessed it in the discord, you're so good at guessing these! :) :)
> 
> I'm gonna try to focus on AA a bit more now. I know that the chapters have been slow coming but there have just been so many other things I wanted to write as well. :) :) Thank you for being so patient with me, you guys. <3


	22. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Maugurt who betaed this and shouted at me for giving her a new kink. I honestly can't believe I can still do that, but I'm (not so) secretly happy I can... ;) ;)
> 
> The letter is explained in the endnotes as usual (and do check it out if you have any triggers you're worried about, my friends).
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! :)

Isak looks at Even drawing the next letter with butterflies in his stomach. There are only five letters left, but there are still so many things he wants to do. He knows that when this game is over, it’s not like they’re going to stop having sex, or experimenting, but it’s just so much easier when it’s because of a game for some reason. Like they’re both expecting to try new things so they don’t have to surprise each other with it.

Even pulls his hand out of the bag and unfolds the paper.

“B,” he says with a flat tone. Like it’s a  _ bad _ letter, like he’s disappointed.

And it’s all Isak can do to not just tear the letter out of his hands and claim it for himself. Actually, he’s pretty disappointed that he didn’t get that letter. He knows exactly what he would do with it.

“That’s a hard letter,” Even continues and Isak wants to scream.

“You don’t know what to do with it?” Isak asks, can hear how his voice sounds incredulous and a little bit annoyed, but he can’t help it. This letter is so easy, how can Even not see it?

Even shrugs, either oblivious to Isak’s annoyance or choosing to ignore it. He keeps looking at it, frown on his face like he’s thinking hard, and then he lights up with a big smile, all the tension gone from his face.

“Oh, wait! Of course. I know just what to do with this,” he exclaims happily, relieved. He leans forward and kisses Isak and then turns to go into their bedroom.

And Isak is left standing there, almost buzzing with excitement. He’s finally going to get what he’s dreamed of. He’s sure of it, what else could Even be thinking of?

\--||--

“Are you sure this is alright?” Isak asks for the third time, but Even just smiles at him again, the same way he’s done all the other times as well. 

“I’m sure,” he answers and puts his hands on Isak’s shoulders. “Mom asked us to water the plants for them while they were away. And you know, I grew up here, my room is still as it was when I moved out. This is still my home so I  _ know  _ they won’t mind.”

He looks so sincere and so calm and it makes Isak feel a bit silly for being nervous about this. So instead of objecting more, voice his concerns yet again, he nods, like he understands and agrees. He’s worried that Even might get tired of his questions and regret bringing him there.

“And also,” Even starts, voice low and deep, catching Isak’s attention right away. “It didn’t bother you when I lived here.”

Isak flushes, smiles shyly, remembers vividly all those times when they tried to keep quiet, tried not to move enough for Even’s bunk bed to make noises, tried so hard to pretend afterwards that he hadn’t just been fucking their son when he’d had to look Even’s parents in the eyes to say goodbye.

So what Even says isn’t really true. It did bother him, but they’d had no other options. Kollektivet was so crowded with Noora there as well. Even’s parents’ apartment was the only place where they could hope for time alone, and his parents were always pretty chill about it. 

Not being with Even just hadn’t been a choice.

But now they have their own place, are used to being alone together. And now Even, for some reason, wants them to go back? Although Isak knows that Even’s parents aren’t here, he’s still not quite comfortable with it. And he’s not sure what Even feels like they have to do here that they can’t do at home.

Something tells him that this is not really related to what he thought Even had in mind after all.

He leads Isak through the apartment and stops him when they’re in front one of the big chairs in the living room. 

“Stay here for a second,” he says and gestures for Isak to sit. “I’m going to come and get you in a minute.” He’s all smiles, kisses Isak quickly and then he turns around and closes the door to the hallway behind him.

Isak sits down slowly, so goddamn confused as to what they’re doing there. But he stays, does what Even asked him to.

A few minutes later, Even opens the door again and Isak quickly shuts his phone off and looks up at him.

“Come on,“ Even says impatiently, but he’s smiling, showing Isak that he’s really just teasing.

Isak can’t help but roll his eyes as he gets up.

“What are we doing?” he asks, even though he knows that Even won’t answer him.

Even looks over his shoulder at him, smiles that big smile of his where the eyes crinkle and Isak melts a little. He’s so weak for that smile.

Even leads him all the way to the bathroom, and as soon as Isak enters, he notices the filling bathtub and the lit candles spread out all over the room and the soft music playing in the background.

“B is for bathtub,” Even says and looks at Isak like he’s about to burst from excitement.

Isak smiles back, but it’s hard for him to make it real. He’s trying to hide his disappointment, trying to make sure he doesn’t kill Even’s excitement with it.

Even steps into him, really close, so close that Isak can feel him breathing against his lips. 

“Now take your clothes off and come join me in the bath.”

So Isak does.

\--||--

It’s good.

Isak can’t remember the last time he was this relaxed. 

He’s sitting between Even’s legs, warm water licking at his chest as Even slowly rubs a washcloth over his shoulder, meticulously, thoroughly.

Isak’s eyelids are drooping and he knows that if Even keeps this up, he’s gonna fall asleep. He hums as Even dips the washcloth in the water and returns it nice and warm to his chest where he gently rubs the skin with it.

“I’m falling asleep,” Isak says in a low voice, much lower than he expected it to be. 

He can hear Even smile behind him, can feel his thighs squeeze him gently as he puts his chin on Isak’s shoulder.

“We can’t have that,” he whispers, seductively, intimately, sending shivers down Isak’s body, redirecting his blood flow south. The washcloth starts rubbing his nipples with a different kind of purpose than before and the roughness of the fabric coupled with Even’s steady touches soon has his nipples hard and sensitive.

When Isak is almost at the point of hissing from how sensitive his nipples are getting, Even moves on. The washcloth slides down, down, past his navel, down to his groin where his dick is already hardening. It doesn’t take much for it to start taking notice.

“We need to make sure you’re all clean,” Even whispers into his ear and Isak holds his breath as Even wraps his hand, and the washcloth along with it, around his dick. 

It’s almost too much. The washcloth is so rough against the delicate skin of his dick and his breath stutters as Even gently slides it over his tip, just once, before it goes lower and starts washing his balls instead.

“Spread your legs,” Even says and Isak obliges immediately. Just lies there, eyes closed, head and body relaxed against Even’s with his knees resting against the edges of the bathtub. 

And then Even leans forward a bit, just enough so that he can get his hand on Isak’s perineum and further down to his hole.

The way the washcloth catches on his rim makes him moan, makes him clench his hole around nothing and he can’t help but flush further as his mind goes crazy with why Even is washing him there.

Even isn’t really doing anything but washing him, running the washcloth over his crack, his hole, just cleaning him up. There doesn’t seem to be any other purpose to it, but it’s still enough to make Isak chase the feeling, to get him hard. 

He turns his head and mouths at Even’s cheek until he gets the idea and turns his head so that they can kiss. And the kiss takes Isak’s breath away, the way Even seems to know just what he needs. It’s all tongue and open lips, them breathing into each other's mouths. 

Even is hard against him as well, his dick resting against his stomach, against the top of Isak’s crack. And it’s all Isak can do to stop himself from riding it, from rolling his hips against it and make Even come like that. But he doesn’t. He’s sure that Even has something else in mind and he’s getting pretty curious about it.

“I have something I want us to try,” Even whispers and takes the washcloth out of the water, wrings it and hangs it over the edge.

He puts a hand on the top of Isak’s back, just under his neck, and starts to push. 

Isak goes willingly, leans forward, until he can’t go any further, until he has to fold his legs under him and after a bit of shuffling, he’s on his knees, torso resting on the edge of the tub, ass up and on display for Even.

“Yeah,” Even mutters and puts his hands on Isak’s ass, pulls the cheeks apart roughly so he can see  _ everything _ . “You can say stop anytime if it’s too much.”

Isak nods frantically. He knows this, but he’s so goddamn curious now what Even wants to try, just wants him to get a move on.

He’s pretty sure it involves Even’s tongue on his ass in some way, and he can’t wait for that to happen.

He hears the sound of the lube opening, but instead of hearing the slick sounds of Even pouring the lube over his fingers, he feels something cold and hard being pressed against his hole and his breath hitches in surprise when it’s gently being pushed past his rim and he can’t help but clench against the dryness of the breach.

“Relax, I’m not going to fuck you with the lube,” Even assures him and his hand caresses his ass in a way that Isak is sure is supposed to be comforting but really just manages to make him even more curious. 

Isak turns his head, twists his upper body so he can see what Even’s doing. And what he sees makes him flush from head to toe. It’s obscene seeing his ass like that, open, on display, with the tip of the lube inside. Even watches, mesmerized, as he starts squeezing it, pushing lube straight into Isak’s hole. He’s not opening Isak up, not stretching him in any way, just filling him with lube and it’s a weird kind of stretch from within that confuses Isak’s body. Like it can’t decide whether it’s a good or bad feeling.

“What are you doing?” Isak can’t help but ask. 

Even glances at him briefly before he returns his attention to Isak’s ass and squeezes the lube again, and he looks like he’s debating whether he should do it once more.

“I want to try to fuck you without prep.”

Isak freezes. He’s never considered that, didn’t even realize that that is a thing you could even do. But he can’t deny how the idea of Even stretching him, of feeling his body make room for Even in such a way, makes small shivers of electricity run up his spine.

“What?” he asks, just to make sure he heard Even right. 

“I’ve always wondered what it would feel like. And we’ve been having so much sex lately that I thought that now might be a good time to try it.” He finally looks away from Isak’s ass, looks him straight in the eye as if to gauge his reaction. “You want to try?”

And Isak has to swallow hard at the sudden dryness in his mouth, how his entire body feels sensitive and alive, how the blood runs faster in his veins. Because yeah. Fuck yeah, he wants to try.

So he nods.

Even breaks out into the most blinding smile and pulls the lube out of Isak without warning, but the surprised sound that follows immediately makes his smile falter and makes him seem focused on the task at hand again. He pours some on his fingers, keeps his eyes on Isak the whole time, observing, watching, and his eyes are already so dark that it takes Isak’s breath away.

Even rubs the lube over his dick, gets it slick and then he casually runs his slick fingers over Isak’s hole, just to slick it up too. 

“Is this a good place to do it?” Isak asks, wondering about the water, but in a distant kind of way. It’s hard to worry about practicalities when Even is standing on his knees behind him with a lubed up dick.

“The lube is oil-based and I’ve put oil in the bath-water instead of soap. I think we’re good,” he says and smiles at Isak. “Come here.” 

Even sits back in the bathtub, gestures to his lap and Isak reverses the movement from before until his back is once again against Even’s front and Even’s dick is pressing against the top of his crack.

“We need to make sure you’re really relaxed for this, baby. That’s why I thought the bath was a good place to do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Isak relaxes back against Even, lets him put his arms around him and he feels more at ease than he has in a long time. He loves how Even is always so considerate, how he’s always thinking of Isak’s comfort. And he loves how that doesn’t hold him back anymore. Looking back at how it used to be, before this game, how overly careful Even always was with him, he can’t help but think that this is so much better.

How it feels more equal now.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” Isak answers, knows this to be the absolute truth. 

Even hums happily behind him and Isak can feel the vibrations of the sound against his back, making him smile. He shifts his body, rolls his hips until Even’s dick is lined up against his crack. 

Isak rolls his hips once more, feels the entire length slide against his hole, loves how it makes his own dick harder and his body heat up even more. 

Even slides his hand down Isak’s body, all the way from his shoulder to his groin, and it leaves a trail of fire along the way on Isak’s skin. 

When Even wraps his large hand around Isak’s dick, Isak relaxes his head back against Even’s shoulder and sighs. Even starts to slowly work him, lets the oil and the water ease the way and it’s leisurely and lazy, like it’s not really about getting Isak off but about just making him feel good instead. 

It’s very different from how it’s been recently, where it’s like they’ve been coated in this layer of desperation, of want, where it’s seemed like they couldn’t get there fast enough. Where they’ve been chasing their pleasure, running after it together.

This is so different from that. 

They take their time now. Even’s hand is on Isak’s dick, his arm around Isak’s chest, Isak just slowly rubbing against Even, letting his body relax and his mind get a bit lost with it. 

He closes his eyes and lets his thoughts flow, just lets how good everything feels fill him out.

Until Even starts moving his hips as well.

On the first slide of his dick over Isak’s crack, it catches on his rim and sends bolts of electricity running through Isak’s dick, makes him groan in pleasure.

“Relax, baby,” Even whispers against his cheek, lips lingering. “Just let it happen.”

Isak takes a deep breath, tries to relax and let his body melt against Even again, but he can’t when Even’s dick catches on his rim again, making him clench around nothing, and he desperately needs Even to push inside.

“Just do it,” he says, voice low and rough. Even’s hand on his dick gets tighter and that makes him want it even more. “Come on, I want to feel you inside of me.”

“Isak,” Even whines against his cheek, dick jumping against his crack and Isak rolls his hips, trying to get Even where he wants him.

And Even sits there and lets him.

Isak shuffles a bit more and puts his hands on the sides of the tub to give him some leverage. He slides up just a tad and then Even’s right there, tip against his hole, no pressure yet, just the promise of it. 

Isak keeps himself still, just lets himself get used to the feeling of Even’s dick there, of how tight he feels, and he knows that he’s going to have to make himself relax to make this work.

Even puts his hands on Isak’s waist, one hand slippery from stroking his dick, and he helps Isak stay there. Takes some of his weight, makes it easy for Isak. 

“I promise we’ll stop the second you get uncomfortable,” Even says, like he’s reading Isak’s hesitation wrong. Like he thinks that Isak is  _ worried _ .

“I know,” Isak whispers, just really wants to hang on to this feeling of relaxation in his body, of how every limb feels warm and soft. “Of course you will.”

And Even tightens his grip on him, like he understands, and that makes Isak push down a bit until he feels that blunt pressure against his hole. It’s so much more this time, feels so much bigger. He takes a couple of deep breaths before he uses his grip on the bathtub to push down even more, until the pressure grows and grows and he finally gives into it and opens up for Even. 

Even’s never felt this enormous before.

He doesn’t even make it that far in before Isak has to pause, has to breathe through it, trying to convince his body that it’s not going to hurt, that he can do this. 

Even’s thumbs strokes over the skin of his back, like he understands the fight inside of Isak and Isak is actually for once kind of glad that Even doesn’t feel frantic and desperate to be buried inside of Isak. 

It’s just not possible for him to go any faster.

He takes another deep breath, pushes down again until he feels the entire head pop through his rim.

It’s a lot. 

He’s not going to lie, the stretch is just about what he can handle. But the head is the widest part of Even’s dick, he’s sure he can fit the rest of him in. Especially with the amount of lube Even has pushed inside of him.

The grip Even has on his hips tightens, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. There’s so much tension in Even’s body now and Isak knows that it must be hard keeping still for so long. He knows that he must feel incredibly tight, almost wonders if it’s too much for Even.

“Is it good?” he asks, doesn’t even mind at this point how low and rough his voice sounds.

He just keeps his eyes closed, concentrates on Even’s dick in his ass, on the stretch, on breathing and relaxing.

He’s going to do this, he’s going to take all of Even, he’s going to show Even and himself that he’s able to do this. That his body really was made for this, for him.

Even huffs behind him, a sound that Isak recognizes as something that would normally sound amused but now just sounds strained. Like Even is holding his breath.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he asks, teeth clearly clenched, and hearing how affected Even is instead of just feeling it, sends bolts of heat up Isak’s spine, makes him breathe a bit harder.

Isak can’t help but smile. He loves that they get to do this together, that they’re equally overwhelmed with the pressure.

And Isak unclenches his hole, relaxes enough that he takes another couple of centimeters inside and then he holds still again.

It’s slow going, making his body give room for Even, to make sure that Isak’s not pushing it beyond capability. His dick is still hard, standing proudly between his legs, bobbing in the water. The slide of Even’s dick feels slick, easy, but he still has to make sure that he doesn’t go too far.

Some of the horror stories he’s read online about tearing makes him cautious. They don’t make him want to say no, just makes him want to go slow, and he knows that this is what Even had in mind as well.

Now that he thinks about it, he’s struck with the idea that maybe this is exactly what Even wanted. The chance of just sitting there, emerged in warm water, relaxed and happy, letting Isak do all the hard work. But then Even tightens his grip a bit more, moans behind Isak and now Isak can feel how much tension there is in his body. And he knows that this isn’t about that, this isn’t about letting Isak do it all. This is about pushing their limits, to see how far they stretch.

And Isak wants to try that too.

So he slides down a bit more, takes more of Even inside, sits still as his body gets used to the intrusion once again. His thighs are shaking and he’s so glad they’re doing this in a tub where he doesn’t have to hold all of his weight on his own. Even probably knew that. It must be why they’re here in the first place.

Isak leans back, lets him take some of the weight of his upper body. He just wants to be closer to Even. His thighs are more than happy for the reprieve that the new position gives him and Even puts his forehead against Isak’s upper back, breathes against Isak’s skin there, making goosebumps break out all over the area. 

He’s panting, much further along than Isak would have guessed from how still he’s sitting.

“Isak, it’s so good. You’re so fucking tight,” he whispers, just loud enough that Isak can hear it.

And those words are like an explosion of want inside Isak, everything in him reacts to them, reacts to the need in his voice. That he’s holding back like this just makes Isak feel on fire.

And with one last effort, he slides all the way down. 

He can hardly breathe from how stretched he is. There’s absolutely no more room inside of him, there’s only Even. It doesn’t hurt, but he’s never been this full, been on the brink of what he can take. 

He just sits there, can’t really think about moving just yet. Even is a massive presence inside of him and even though he loves the idea of how much room his body has made for Even, this is definitely so much that he has to sit still there for a while. 

He wonders how this must feel for Even. How tight Isak must be around his dick. He almost can’t imagine the pressure, wonders if it’s good or maybe a bit too much. Even is sitting stock still behind him, frozen against Isak, breaths washing over Isak’s skin still, but it’s rhythmic, controlled, and it makes it hard for Isak to know just what this is doing to Even.

“I wish I could see you,” Isak whines, wishes that that wasn’t how those words came out, but there’s just no question that that’s what he does.

“Isak. Baby.” 

There’s no sense or continuation to what Even’s saying. It’s like he’s barely realizing that he’s saying anything. Isak has never heard Even’s voice like that before, thin and used and rough, like it could break any second.

It makes Isak a bit concerned, makes it easier for him to distract himself from all the pressure in his ass to focus on how Even is doing behind him.

“Are you okay?” 

Even’s hands slide up from his hips until his arms wrap around his upper body, hugging him from behind and now Isak can feel how hard he’s shaking.

“I’ve never been better,” he moans against Isak, the desperation and appreciation in his voice so apparent that Isak dick twitches.

And now he realizes that he’s been hard this whole time, that he never softened. The second he acknowledges his dick, it’s obvious that he’s been like that for a while now. His balls are almost aching at this point, his dick twitching helplessly in the water. And he knows that if it wasn’t for that, he would be wet with precum. 

The pressure doesn’t feel like that much anymore, not when his dick is almost hurting by now, in dire need of some kind of stimulation,  _ anything _ . He even goes as far as to shift his hips, just enough that Even moves inside of him. 

That small movement is enough that Even’s grip tightens exponentially, so tight that it almost hurts, but Isak gets it. 

“Isak,” Even says again, but this time he doesn’t stop there, has something more to add. “I’m so fucking close, I can’t…”

Isak moans at that, at the  _ idea  _ of just getting inside of Isak is enough for Even to get that close. How every centimeter sliding into Isak must have been the sweetest torture for Even, and suddenly, Isak wants that too, wants to be just as close.

“Touch me,” he whines, wants Even to know that he’s just as affected by this as he is.

“Fuck,” Even curses behind him and immediately lets go of Isak with one arm to wrap his hand around Isak’s dick instead.

And now that Even’s not holding on so tight, now that he’s not supporting Isak’s weight quite as much, Isak settles further against Even’s hips. He moans as Even moves inside of him, and Even is so deep inside that it feels like he’s being rearranged on the inside.

Even keeps cursing behind him, is clearly lost to how good Isak is making him feel. Knowing that he’s making Even lose it like that is enough to make him start working his hips, gradually setting his body on fire from how the stretch slowly turns from  _ a lot  _ to  _ good, so good _ .

He’s sweating so much now, body surrendering to it completely. The warmth of the water, the warmth of Even’s body behind him, the current running just under his skin with every slide of Even’s dick against his rim, it almost feels like the water is close to boiling around them. 

His movements aren’t big, almost barely there small rolls of his hips, but the way that makes Even move inside of him, how it makes him rub against his walls, against his rim, is so good that Isak is having trouble remembering to breathe.

Even’s grip on his dick increases as Isak starts moving. Even keeps his hand still, though, lets Isak do the work of making sure the hand offers the pleasure and pressure that he needs, but this time, Isak knows that it’s due to him not being able to move it himself. Even is rigid in the water, his body tense and big against his and Isak moves, again and again, so fucking turned on by what’s happening here.

“I’m coming, Isak, I’m…” Even says, desperately, frantically, fast against his neck and Isak has just enough presence of mind to answer,  _ yeah _ , before Even uses the arm around him to pull him down on his dick, until it’s buried as far inside of Isak as it can and then he feels it twitch and jump inside of him, feels Even’s hitched breaths on his skin, feels Even’s body shake against him.

And Isak is so close himself, wants to join Even, wants to fall alongside with him, but Even’s hand is useless now. It’s just holding him, no pressure, no real grip, just a limp hand that’s doing absolutely none of the things that Isak wants it to do.

So he takes matters into his own hands, so to speak. Impatiently, he pushes Even’s hand aside and wraps his own hand around his dick, starts stroking frantically.

He clenches around Even as the relief of finally being able to relieve some of all that tension washes over him, and it makes Even feel even bigger, makes him move inside of Isak once more, and that’s what does it for Isak.

He starts coming, unloads himself into the water, clenches hard around Even, making them both hiss from the tightness and he keeps stroking himself, keeps his hand going, prolonging it as long as possible. Fire licks over his skin, zaps of electricity shoot through his dick from his balls, liquid pleasure courses through him, fills him until his lungs are too small for all that pleasure. 

He forces the last drops out, strokes his dick a few times more than what’s strictly necessary, and then he stops.

His entire body collapses back against Even like his strings have been cut, and he just lies there, breathing, and lets Even cling to him.

Even opens his mouth, like he has something to say, but nothing comes out.

But Isak understands.

This was a lot, felt so different from how it’s been recently. And now he  _ needs  _ to turn around, needs Even’s arms around him, needs his lips against his.

Needs to know that they’re okay.

So he begins to slide off. And now it’s definitely too much. Every goddamn centimeter of Even’s dick going out feels uncomfortable like he’s bruised on the inside and Even’s dick just presses against every bit of the soreness.

He sighs, relieved when the head pops free. His ass is pulsing and he feels sore and used. 

Even turns him over, fast, almost a bit desperately, and kisses him before Isak has realized what’s happened. 

The kisses start off frantic but soon slows down, turns softer, more tender, until it’s almost just their lips resting against each other, like they’re refinding each other.

“Baby,” Even says against his lips, making Isak blush a bit at the tone of Even’s voice. He can’t understand how Even still does that, how he has the ability to turn the aftermath so sweet with a single word after what they just did.

“You’re perfect, that was perfect,” he whispers into Isak’s mouth and Isak is still so overwhelmed, blood still boiling in his veins, that he closes his eyes to it.

“Yeah,” Isak whispers back, can’t quite put how he’s feeling into words. 

He doesn’t feel quite right, it’s like he’s been inside out and is now trying to get back to how he was before. 

Even’s hand slowly slides down his body, down to his ass, and Isak immediately pulls away when his fingers try to find his crack.

“Does it hurt?” Even asks, concerned, hand under Isak’s chin, trying to make him open his eyes to look at him.

“Yeah, it’s a bit sore now,” Isak answers truthfully and opens his eyes. He doesn’t want Even to be concerned for him, but he doesn’t want to hide the truth either. He looks at him as he continues. “It wasn’t while we were doing it, though.”

And Even smiles that blinding smile at him, turns almost giddy with the accompanying huff of laughter and he pulls Isak closer, puts his hands around him in a tight hug and slides down the walls of the bathtub a bit more so it’s easier for them.

“I’ve never experienced anything like that before. So much tightness, the way you slid down on me, so slowly that I thought I was going insane.” Isak almost wants to stop Even. It feels like he’s combusting from hearing Even talking about him like that. “You looked perfect taking my dick, I almost lost it so many times.”

Even’s lips find his now, spit-slick and puffy and perfect, just lets them slowly rub against Isak’s, and it makes Isak’s chest expand, makes it easier for him to breathe again.

“Yeah?” He looks at Even, wants to see the truth on his face as he answers.

“Oh my god, yes.”

There’s absolutely no doubt in Isak’s mind that what Even’s saying is the truth from the way he looks at him.

And Isak wants to show Even that he was perfect to Isak too, wants to tell him just how big he felt, how magnificent it felt to have his body make room for him, how there’s always room inside Isak for Even.

But he just doesn’t know how to say those exact things. Instead, he focuses on something that he knows will lighten the mood, will make Even smile. 

“Well, good. I kind of want to try that too,” he says, smiling, flirting, and the smile Even gives him back makes his breath hitch.

Even smiling will always be his weakness.

The next kiss seems inevitable after that. This time, it’s a bit more heated, a little less tender and soft, and Isak can’t help but smile into it, can’t help it because he’s happy. Just utterly and overwhelmingly happy in this moment.

When they finally pull back, Isak puts his head on Even’s shoulder, loves how that makes Even’s arms around him tighter and he’s so safe here. So loved. He can’t imagine ever wanting more than this.

His eyes are slowly sliding around the room, looking without seeing, just letting himself be in the moment, until they land on the tiles of the floor by the sink. 

He freezes, leans up, just to see and what he sees there has him mortified.

“We’ve flooded the bathroom, Even!” It makes Even laugh, makes him try to pull Isak back down on top of him. “No, we have to clean it. Even, there’s water everywhere!”

Isak flushes, can’t imagine trying to explain that kind of water damage to Even’s parents, feels almost panicky that they’ll somehow find out because of this.

“Relax, baby.” Even says, so calm it almost annoys Isak. “We’ll just clean it up. It isn’t the first time the floor has been this wet.”

Even just looks at him, keeps his gaze sure and loving and calm, always calm. And it’s enough to make Isak’s heart slow, enough to make the tension bleed out of him a bit, and he gives in to the way Even pulls at him and lies down on top of him again.

“I’ve spent so much time masturbating in this bathtub, I can’t even begin to tell you,” Even laughs against him, making Isak laugh along with him.

But it’s a bit harder to relax now, as the image of Even getting himself off over and over in the same bathtub they’re lying in now fills his mind.

Makes him curious.

“I wish I could’ve seen that,” Isak sighs against Even’s neck, and he knows that Even heard him, knows exactly what he’s asking for when he tenses under him. “We don’t have to go home right away, do we?” 

Even laughs excitedly, pushes him up so they can kiss again and Isak gives it his all, lets him feel just how much he always wants him. In every way.

“No, we can take all the time we need,” Even manages to whisper between kisses.

Isak likes the sound of that. 

  
  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B is for bathtub (with some added no prep).
> 
> Megan (Valtermeme) guessed bathtub in the discord, congrats!! :D :D
> 
> Soooooo. Only four chapters to go? Time flies when you're having fun. :)


	23. J

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, my friends! But here you go, have a new chapter. :)
> 
> Maugurt betaed this, as usual, and made it better, as usual. <3
> 
> You can see what the chapter is in the endnotes, if you can't wait to find out. :)

Later that night, after they’ve gotten back and Even is in the bathroom brushing his teeth, Isak sneaks into the kitchen to find the bag of letters. He shakes them out, tries to be fast about it so Even won’t notice him doing it, and spreads the four remaining letters out on the table.

C, J, I, and X.

Shit.

None of those letters makes it easy for him to do what he has in mind, and although he really,  _ really _ , enjoyed what they just did, he can’t help but think that Even sort of wasted B.

The way he feels excitement pool low in his stomach just from thinking about it makes it clear to him that he really needs to try what  _ he  _ had in mind for B.

So he’ll just have to draw a letter and make it work in some way.

He quickly puts the letters back into the bag when he hears Even finish, and as he comes out, Isak shakes it and says, “Is it alright if I draw the letter now?”

“Eager, aren’t we?” Even laughs but joins Isak anyway, puts his arms around his chest from behind and watches over Isak’s shoulder as he draws J.

Okay. Isak just needs to make that work.

\--||--

Isak makes a quick detour to Kondomeriet the next day on his way home from school. This time he doesn’t have any questions, goes right to the part of the store where he lingered the last time but ended up deciding not to buy any more than he already had at that point. 

He picks up what he needs and leaves the shop feeling a kind of excitement he hasn’t felt in a while.

That’s one thing crossed off the list, now he just needs to figure the next thing out.

\--||--

Seeing Even like this still manages to take Isak’s breath away. 

After all this time, after everything they’ve done, he doesn’t think he’ll ever really get used to this. 

Even’s lying underneath him on his stomach, legs spread wide with the long expanse of his back on display as Isak works his dick inside him over and over again, eyes fixed on the muscles working under his skin. 

Isak’s own legs are spread far too, pushing at Even’s, making sure he’s got them as far apart as possible and it gives Isak leverage to really fuck into Even.

He puts his hand on Even’s back, on those muscles, needs to feel him, needs to reassure him that Isak’s still there, still with him. Just in case he needs it.

Isak tears his eyes away from his hand to look down at his dick disappearing inside of Even, how his hole stretches around him, how his body accommodates him like he was made for this.

It’s enough to make Isak dizzy if he thinks about it too hard. 

He loves Even like this, loves watching him lose himself to the pleasure that Isak’s giving him. Loves watching the muscles in his ass clench and unclench as Isak drills into him, pushes inside over and over.

How easy Even is for his dick.

His thighs are hurting from how far they’re stretched to the sides, from working his hips over and over against Even’s, but he doesn’t care.

He has such control like this, can change the angle as he pleases, can push at Even’s hips so he melts into the mattress and his dick gets some attention, or he can pull him back, lift his hips, pick up the speed as Even whines into the pillow.

Even is so beautiful like this.

He’s flushed all the way down his back, splotchy and firery-red, and Isak doesn’t know if it’s a thing most people would notice or even find attractive if they did. But he notices, and he loves it. Even has his hands against the bed by his waist, fisted in the sheet under him, pushing up from the bed, pushing back against Isak, and the way that makes his arms tense shows off just how wide he is across the shoulders. His head is turned to the side, eyes clenched, mouth open as those high-pitched sounds keep pouring from his lips. Like he can’t hold them back.

All those things tell Isak that he’s moving just right, is hitting all the right spots inside Even.

So he makes sure that he stays exactly where he is as he ups the speed, makes sure his dick is moving right where Even wants it the most as his hips slams against Even’s ass over and over again, the sound of skin slapping against skin loud and obvious in the room.

And he drives Even to the breaking point, drives him as far as he can in this position, until Even is starting to say words that don’t make sense, mindless babbles, like his mind is too full not to.

Then Isak changes the pace, leans over Even, slides his hand up his back, grabs hold of his shoulder and uses that hold to pull Even towards him as he makes these dirty, deep grinds, pushes himself as deep inside Even as he possibly can, grinds and grinds until he’s clenching his own teeth, until sweat is dripping down his spine, down his temple, until Even’s moans turn low, barely audible.

He pulls back, keeps himself still there with only the head of his dick inside Even now, watches how Even’s hole flutters around him, and it steals his breath away. Watching Even fight to keep him inside like that, watching his ass try to pull him back in. Isak keeps himself there for two more breaths, torturing himself as much as he’s torturing Even, and then he slams back in. Pushes Even up the bed a little with the force of it, makes him fist the sheet a bit harder to make sure he doesn’t go too far.

But before Even can get used to being stuffed with dick, Isak is already pulling out to do it all over again.

He knows these hard, deep thrusts are among Even’s favorite, can just imagine how his dick is weeping into the sheet under him, how every rough shove provides friction for it. Just not enough.

Even’s dick hasn’t been touched yet and Isak knows that Even is dying to. It’s probably why he’s clinging onto the sheet so hard, but Isak is working him so good that he’ll lose his place on the bed if he lets go.

Isak has no intention of stopping. Not now. Not when he’s in pleasure heaven, Even so tight and warm and perfect around his dick, Even’s mouth whispering words that sound like music to Isak’s ears.

Not when Even is so completely fucked out that Isak just wants to lick him all over and fill him up with his cum, pump it into him as deep as possible and make sure he’s dripping with it for days.

And that’s exactly what Isak plans to do.

He pauses for a second, pulls at Even’s leg until he turns on his side, until it’s resting in the crook of Isak’s elbow, Even’s knee bent around Isak, and the way his dick feels inside Even as he changes their position makes it hard for Isak to keep calm. He wants to give into it, to the way his balls are pulling up tight, the way his dick is tingling from imminent release, but he clenches his teeth harder and holds himself back.

He leans back on his thighs, just a bit, just enough that he knows that he’s bound to hit Even’s prostate with the tip of his dick as he pushes inside. 

Without any warning, he thrusts, hard, and he sets a bruising rhythm, short little jabs that are sure to drag his dick over Even’s prostate and he looks up to be able to see Even.

Even is a revelation; he’s putting his arm out, trying to find balance and the second he’s found it, he reaches for his own dick and starts stroking it. His hand is moving fast, determined, there’s no teasing or prolonging in what he’s doing. He’s going for the gold, clearly just wants to come, and Isak’s eyes slide all over his skin, wants to take all of him in at once.

How his mouth is hanging open, gasping for breath, lungs working hard to get enough air inside his body. He’s tense, every muscle tight and it punches a groan out of Isak.

Seeing how far gone Even is.

“Fuck Isak. More,” Even manages to say between gasps, and who is Isak to deny him.

He somehow manages to find the strength to up the pace again, uses the last remnants of durability in his thighs to keep the position, to stay where he is on the bed as his hips keep drilling into Even, over and over and over, more and more.

He’ll never get enough of this, never get enough of how good Even feels. How perfectly they fit each other.

His own dick is almost aching now, he’s so close, so, so close, barely hanging on by a thread, but he wants Even to come first, wants to feel that tight clench around his dick as he does.

And he’s barely thought that thought through when Even stops moaning, opens his mouth further, strokes his dick even faster, and on a silent scream, he starts coming. He empties himself all over the bed, over himself and the smell of his cum hits Isak like a ton of bricks, and that, along with the added pressure on his dick, makes it impossible for him to hold back. Makes him lose it too.

He thrusts once, twice more, and then he pushes himself as deep inside Even as he possibly can, keeps drilling in, further and further, until with one final throaty moan he starts coming too, heat spreading from his balls, from his dick throughout his body, through his limbs until he’s so hot he’s not sure that he’s not melting. He shoots and shoots, the idea of what he’s about to do prolongs it, makes his entire body tingle and it’s so much.

It’s perfect.

He stays there when he’s done, orgasm echoing over his skin, breath coming out in small gasps.  

Even is sagging under him, body losing tension and it’s getting harder to keep Even’s knee on his arm. But he needs to stay in Even, needs to do what he’s planned, so he makes sure that he’s careful when he puts Even’s leg down, uses his hips and body to push him back onto his stomach, and it’s not until he’s lying there, fucked out, pliant and out of breath, that Isak slowly pulls out.

“Don’t move,” he says and Even makes some sort of gesture with his hand that Isak takes as meaning that he won’t. That he probably can’t.

Isak leans over to the side, pulls out a drawer and grabs hold of what he put in there earlier.

He sits back on his haunches, Even spread out in front of him, legs still splayed wide. He’s not arching his back, not making a show of it, making it hard for Isak to see, but he knows what’s there.

He puts a hand on Even’s ass, pulls the cheek gently to the side to reveal Even’s hole, still a bit open, wet with lube and Isak’s cum and it’s the best sight Isak can imagine.

It’s not like Isak’s cum can trickle out of Even in this position, not like it can go anywhere but deeper inside.

And Isak wants it to stay that way.

He picks up the discarded bottle of lube lying beside Even’s thigh, opens it to pour a bit over the toy in his hand until it’s wet and slippery.

When he looks up, he sees that Even has turned his head, is looking at him from over his shoulder and his eyes are wide and curious, his pretty mouth curled into a smile.

“What’s that?” he asks with that low, rough voice he gets after a particularly good fucking and it fills Isak with something akin to pride from knowing that he made Even sound like that.

He grabs hold of Even’s ass again, spreads him so he can see that wet, used hole again and then he rubs it with the toy, making Even grab the sheet.

“You can’t laugh,” Isak starts and he knows that this is a good way to distract Even, to make him lose sight of any potential discomfort of having his rim played with already again. But it’s also a fair warning, Isak feels ridiculous saying what he’s about to say. 

“I really wanted to try a buttplug, fill you up and keep my cum inside of you for as long as possible. But since you already used B for something else,” he pauses here and breaches Even with the tip, just teases him without pushing it in further and he can see how that makes Even’s ass clench, and that makes it almost impossible for him to keep the slow pace. “I had to come up with something for J that fits. So… J for jizz.”

He tries to keep a straight face as he says it, tries not to let his face flush too much because it really was the only thing he could come up with for J that was somewhere in the vicinity of what he wanted to do.

So. J for jizz. Isak feels like an idiot, but at least now it’s out there.

Even snorts with laughter, just once, before he manages to bite it down, but his eyes are filled with mirth from having to hold back the laughter.

“J is for jizz?” he asks teasingly, gets up on his elbows and twists his torso so he’s able to look at Isak more clearly.

Isak is trying not to let himself get infected with that smile and that suppressed laughter, knows that the moment he gives into it, he’ll never be able to get that plug inside Even. And he can’t bear to think about all that cum inside of Even getting wasted, of it dripping out of him before Isak can catch it with the plug, and that makes it a bit easier not to laugh.

He presses the plug a bit further inside, just before the widest point and it’s even easier to keep the laughter at bay when he sees Even’s rim accommodate it, just opening up so beautifully around it, when it punches a surprised moan out of Even.

“Fuck,” Even mutters, smile long gone as he rests his head back on the pillow under him.

Isak twists it, teases Even’s rim and insides with it, loves how responsive Even is to this like he’s every bit as excited about this idea as Isak.

It’s not a big plug, just a soft silicone beginner’s plug, but it should be enough to keep Isak’s cum inside of Even, enough to keep him stretched until Isak pulls it out again.

The idea of fucking Even again while he’s still full of his cum, adding more to the mess inside of him, makes Isak’s lungs feel too small and he lets his mouth go slack as he focuses on working the plug even further inside, until Even’s rim is stretched obscenely over the widest point of it.

And then Even’s ass just swallows it up, pulls it inside and while Even’s breath hitches, it just settles so beautifully there.

It looks like it belongs there, like Even should always be plugged up.

“How does it feel?” Isak asks as he pulls at it, just a bit, just to settle a curiosity and he moans as he watches Even’s hole pull it right back in the second he lets go of it.

Fuck. This is perfect, this is exactly as hot as he hoped it would be.

Even takes a couple of deep breaths, and when he answers, his voice is muffled by the pillow.

“It’s good. It’s weird,” he says as he breathes hard for another couple of second. “I want to feel what it’s like when I’m up.”

Yeah, Isak really wants this as well.   

So he slowly leans back, crawls backward out of bed and stays there as he watches Even gingerly crawl out of bed, slowly, long limbs working to make sure that he doesn’t move too fast.

He straightens himself out gingerly, like he’s experimenting with how moving feels like, and Isak is dying to know what it’s like, clenches around thin air when Even moans, closes his eyes, and licks his lips.

“Yeah,” he whispers and Isak has never loved anybody more than he does Even in this exact moment.

He’s perfect.

“Yeah?” he asks, wants Even to talk, wants him to tell him exactly how it feels, what it’s doing to his hole, how Isak’s cum feels trapped inside of him.

Even opens his eyes, looks straight at him as he bites his lip and his smile is dirty and so fucking sexy that Isak’s mouth turns dry instantly, and then he nods. “Yeah.”

Isak watches in complete and utter fascination as Even gets dressed after he’s had a quick wipe down. He’s reluctant to leave the room to go clean himself up. He just wants to watch Even as he pauses mid-movement to catch his breath, as his eyes clenches, as his dick starts getting hard already again.

Isak just wants to pull the plug back out and bury himself in Even’s tight heat all over again. It’s almost impossible to hold back.

But he does.

He wants,  _ needs  _ this, needs to see how Even manages this.

He’ll pull it out in a short while, he doesn’t want Even to get uncomfortable the first time he’s wearing it.

Even looks at him, smiles fondly at him as he pulls his jeans over his hips, nods towards the bathroom before he says, “Go clean up, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

Isak reluctantly goes. But he’s never quite cleaned up this fast before.

When he returns, he puts his own clothes on in record time, just a t-shirt and jeans, foregoes the underwear as he knows that he’s just going to get undressed in minutes after all, and then he stays frozen to the spot as Even hesitantly, slowly, gently, sits down on one of the chairs by the table.

Fuck. Isak’s not sure if he’ll survive this. Everything about this is so hot that he almost can’t stand it.

Isak moves to kiss Even, has to touch him, has to be close to him as he sits there on the chair, frowning, shuffling a bit, like he’s trying to find a position that’s comfortable to sit in, but before he can reach him, the door phone buzzes.

Even looks at him in wide-eyed surprise, lips forming a perfect O.

“Are you expecting someone?” Isak asks Even, and when Even shakes his head, Isak doesn’t move to answer.

Like hell, he’s going to let anybody who lost their key or something like that disturb what they have going on there.

But then the door phone buzzes again, and then again, until it’s making this annoying rhythm and as Isak’s phone starts going off as well, the name “Magnus” lighting up on the screen, Isak has a sinking feeling about what’s going on.

“It’s the boys?” Even asks, looking at the phone.

Isak nods and sighs. “It’s the boys.”

He kind of just wants them to go away, but when Magnus stops calling and Jonas starts instead, he knows he’s better off just answering.

“What do you want?” he says in lieu of a greeting, but Jonas doesn’t seem to care as he just starts talking.

“Mahdi’s mom threw us out because we were making too much noise. And you guys live closer than any of us. Isn’t it okay we come up, just to hang for a bit?”

Isak shuts his eyes in frustration, counts to ten in his head slowly to calm down, because their timing is the worst, and he’s barely made it to 7 before Even interrupts it by saying, “Let them in.”

Isak looks at him, eyes flitting between his, needs to make sure that he knows what he’s agreeing to.

“Yeah?”

And when Even nods, even though the flush deepens on his cheeks, Isak knows that he means it. So he does the only thing he can.

He tells the boys, “Come on up.”

\--||--

The boys brought chips and candy, which Isak supposes counts for something.

But he’s so goddamn distracted, can hardly focus on them and what they’re talking about. Can’t handle anything when Even is sitting there opposite him, squirming in his seat, cheeks getting more and more red. His hair has started to sag and he’s getting that glassy look to his eyes that makes Isak want to throw him down and take him hard.

He’s delicious.

The boys have been in their apartment for about an hour and he’s seriously wondering how to get them out of there.

He needs to see that plug, needs to see if Even has started to leak or if it’s holding tight.

He needs to put his fingers inside Even and see how warm he is, how wet he is. Wants to push his cum further inside of Even to make it stay there forever.

He’s almost a bit surprised that the boys don’t notice that something’s up. Or maybe they have, maybe they’ve just decided not to mention it in order to be able to stay.

Even is being uncharacteristically quiet, just sits there, eyes lazily looking at whoever’s talking and he keeps making these small sounds that Isak can’t believe he’s the only one noticing.

But he’s glad for it.

He doesn’t want to share this part of Even with anybody else.

”I’ll be right back,” Even suddenly says, interrupting Magnus talking like he wasn’t paying attention.

Which he probably wasn’t.

“What’s going on?” Magnus asks surprised, not used to getting overlooked like that by Even.

Even scratches his neck, eyes flitting around the room and he’s not hiding anything at this point.

“I’m just gonna get a glass of water,” he answers with a low voice, rough around the edges and it’s doing things to Isak.

All of this, the voice, Even’s apparent casualness that’s starting to crack, the fact that he’s been sitting there, full of plug and Isak, just adds up. Isak desperately needs to touch Even again. Needs to make sure he’s alright.

As Even walks out of the room, Magnus looks after him with a frown on his face, giving Isak the perfect excuse.

“I’m just going to check on him,” he says looking at Magnus, and Magnus nods at him.

When Isak reaches the kitchen, Even is standing there with his back to him, leaning heavily on his hands against the kitchen counter.

It’s like he hasn’t even noticed that Isak has joined him.

Isak gets this uneasy feeling in his stomach, like maybe Even’s been pushed too far this time, like maybe he’s uncomfortable and it’s all Isak’s fault.

He goes to Even, molds his body against Even’s from behind and puts his arms around him.

“Are you alright, baby?” he whispers, makes sure that nobody but Even will be able to hear his concern.

Even melts back against him, puts his hands over Isak’s on his chest and whimpers.  _ Whimpers! _

The sounds shoot straight to Isak’s dick and it makes him tighten his grip around Even a bit more.

“I’m—” Even starts but swallows hard before he continues. “I’m way more than alright.” And as he says that, he grabs hold of Isak’s hand and pushes it against the front of his pants, against the hard bulge his dick is making there.

Isak moans and presses his dick against Even’s ass and Even’s head falls back against him. He’s breathing hard and the skin of his face feels so warm against Isak’s cheek and Isak can’t resist but fold his hand around that bulge, rub along the length of that glorious hardness, coaxing even more delicious sounds out of Even.

“I can’t focus on anything else,” Even breathes against Isak’s cheek, leaving Isak almost dizzy with how fast the blood in his body disappears south.

“It’s good?” Isak can’t help but ask, really wants to hear Even talk about this, wants to hear every dirty word about being filled this way he can make him say.

Even nods frantically, Isak sees him licking his lips out of the corner of his eye, and he arches his back a bit and rubs against Isak’s growing erection. But it doesn’t seem like he’s getting more words out of Even.

“Turn around,” Isak manages to say before he starts pushing at Even, and he goes willingly.

He puts his hands on Even’s face, pulls him in for a deep kiss as he pushes him back against the counter and it’s just the right height that Even’s lips turn slack as he does.

“Fuck, I need…” Even mutters against his lips and he doesn’t need to say anymore, doesn’t need to elaborate, because Isak knows what he needs.

“Yeah,” Isak answers and he can’t resist the temptation of sliding his hand down Even’s body, down, down, down the back of his pants and his dick weeps when the tips of his fingers find the plug buried between Even’s ass cheeks.

He taps it a couple of times, makes it move inside Even, just barely, but it’s enough that he pushes back against Isak’s fingers, hands fisting Isak’s t-shirt in the back and fuck. Even’s so ready to go. Isak’s eyes flit over the features of Even’s face, of his half-lidded gaze, eyes dark from lust, and he’s the most pretty thing Isak has ever seen.

He wants to keep this image of Even forever, wants this burned to the back of his corneas.

“We need to throw the guys out,” Isak whispers, making sure that they still can’t hear him, but he can’t stand the fact that he can’t just turn Even over and take him right here, can’t just pull that plug out and use his own cum as lube.

A sharp pang of arousal shoots straight to his dick at that thought. That his cum will be coating the way for him and he can’t help the shiver that runs through him.

Even leans in, kisses him in a way that steals Isak’s breath away, deep and desperate and more than a little frantic and when he leans back, Isak can hardly remember his own name.

“Right,” Even sighs, grabs Isak’s hand and pulls it out of his pants, pushes Isak aside and leaves the kitchen.

Isak is left standing there, confused, dazed, can’t really understand what’s going on until he hears Even’s voice.

“You guys need to leave now, I need to be alone with Isak.”

He hears the guys object, the normal  _ come on, dude, we just got here, what’s going on _ , and he just knows that Even’s losing his patience from the loud sigh that escapes him and Isak eagerly awaits what Even will say next. He knows he’s not really patient when he’s turned on like this.

“You need to leave  _ now _ .”

The apartment falls completely silent for a few long seconds, it’s not normal for Even to be this harsh, and Isak can barely hold the laughter back.

Magnus makes this high-pitched sound that makes it impossible for Isak to hold the laughter back anymore and he leaves the kitchen to help Even. Jonas is already standing up, is already collecting his things and pushing at Mahdi to get off the floor.

Isak goes to Even, puts his arm around him and smiles obnoxiously at the boys. Jonas laughs back, mutters  _ yeah, yeah, we’re leaving _ , and then it’s a blur of the boys getting their jackets and shoes and just before the door closes behind them, he hears Magnus complain, “I can’t believe we’re being thrown out  _ again _ .”

Isak closes the door behind them, makes sure it’s locked, and he stays there for a few seconds, making sure that they’re really leaving.

“Isak!” Even calls out, luring Isak back into the bedroom.

He can’t wait to kiss those lips again, taste the sweat on Even’ skin, can’t wait to bury himself deep in Even all over again.

He’s good to go, dick throbbing in his pants, almost painfully so, begging to be let out.

Even looks almost wild, almost a bit frantic and he crosses the room in two long strides and Isak lifts his chin, fully expecting a bruising kiss, but instead Even starts pulling at his clothes.

“Get these… off!” he mutters as he simultaneously tries to pull Isak’s t-shirt over his head and open the buttons of his pants and Isak lets him. Lets himself be pulled both ways.

Seeing Even lose control like this, seeing him want him so much, is the hottest thing Isak’s ever experienced. Even’s not really doing anything, except taking Isak’s clothes off, but Isak is already panting, already dripping precum into his briefs.

But he lets Even take charge, lets him rip his clothes off, only helping when the pants get stuck around his ankles, and he takes his socks off while he’s at it, and then gets rid of his own clothes faster than he’s ever done before. The second they’re both naked, Even knocks him over and he falls back on the bed hard.

Even doesn’t wait for him to catch his breath or to stop bouncing, he just crawls in over him, pushes him up the bed until Isak is lying in the middle of it and then he straddles Isak as he leans over to the dresser to get the bottle of lube.

“Like this?” Isak asks, surprised. He had expected to be the one to pull the plug out of Even, to be able to play with it a bit. He really wanted to see what Even’s hole looks like after wearing it for so long.

Even pops the lid of the lube, and as he pours some into his hand, he says, “Yeah, like this.” 

He smears it over Isak’s dick, efficiently, not touching to tease or make Isak feel good, but to get him wet and ready for Even. And then Even’s other hand disappears between his own legs and Isak watches in rapt fascination as he gets this strained look on his face before his mouth goes slack and he heaves a breathy moan that makes Isak’s balls pull up tight.

Although he’s mourning the fact that he can’t see what Even’s doing, there’s something about seeing Even this desperate for him, this turned on, and with that in mind, it’s easy to let Even do what he wants.

“I know you’ll just tease me forever, I know how much you want to see. But I can’t…” Even says quickly as he throws the used plug onto the bed, careless of where it lands, and Isak’s eyes linger on it for a bit too long as Even settles into position over him and lifts up on his knees as he grabs hold of Isak’s dick to hold it steady for him. “Later. Next time.”

Oh, fuck yeah. Isak loves the sound of that, that there’ll be a next time.

He’s just lying there, letting Even do all the work, lets him be in charge. He puts his hands on Even’s thighs, runs them up the length of them, palms tingling from the coarseness of Even’s hair there and he settles them just where thigh meets hips, wraps his hands around that place where he can feel every move Even makes, every roll of his hips.

And then Even just sinks down on him, steadily, quickly, no lingering, no nothing, none of those things that Even normally likes to do. He must be even more desperate than Isak thought.

It takes Isak’s breath away, eyes locked on Even’s face as he sinks down over him, watching the obvious pleasure there, how it takes over his features, making him flushed, and sweaty and so, so pretty that Isak almost can’t breathe from it.

The fact that his dick is being surrounded by perfect heat and so much wetness isn’t helping his breathing one bit either. Even’s so wet inside. Isak is surprised he can’t hear it squelching, and once again he just wants to see, but when he finally tears his eyes away from Even, all he can see is Even’s hips nestled against his, Even’s dick lying against Isak’s stomach, so red and so hard, leaking at the tip.

Isak needs to touch it, he needs to taste it, he needs Even to goddamn move because as soon as he’s speared himself completely on Isak’s dick, he just sits there. Still. Just breathing, a hand on Isak’s chest, eyes closed.

Like he’s feeling so much that he can’t move, not yet.

And then he mutters, “Fuck!”, bites his lips and starts rolling his hips.

Isak grits his teeth, tightens his grip on Even’s hips, feels Even widening the circle, makes the movements bigger and bigger and he’s just grinding Isak deeper and deeper inside of him and Isak just wants to fuck up, just wants him to move more, it’s so much and not at all enough.

It’s clear to see the desperation on Even; he’s flushed all the way to his stomach and it’s expanding and expanding, his entire body so hot that sweat is breaking out all over, and Isak curls his toes and moans and holds on, fights how his own body wants to take over.

He slides his hands over the slickness of sweat on Even’s thighs, puts his thumbs on his hipbone that’s so obvious in this position, and then he feels it.

A trickle, a tickling tease of something that he recognizes immediately. It punches a sound out him that starts in his chest, deep and primal and so long that it almost hurts his throat.

Even is leaking cum onto him.

Isak is dying.

He wants more, he wants to be coated in it just as much as he wants it all to stay inside Even.

Even keeps making these dirty grinds against him, making Isak’s dick move deliciously inside of him, but it’s not enough for Isak, not anymore, not now that he’s starting to feel the evidence of what they did earlier.

So he moves a hand from Even’s thigh and wraps it around Even’s dick, all ready to make it hard for Even not to move when he adds pressure and sensation there, but Even surprises him with slapping it away, fast, impatiently.

“I’m so close, I don’t want to come yet,” he says, eyes still closed, still in what appears to be his own world of pleasure, so Isak does what he’s told and puts his hand back on Even’s thighs.

“Look at me,” Isak says, almost can’t recognize his own voice so used and raw.

And Even does.

Opens those big eyes to look straight at Isak, almost no blue left from how dilated his pupils are. Isak looks at his lips, slack and wet from how his tongue keeps licking it, and he wants to make Even’s lips puffy and red, wants to lick into his mouth, wants him closer.

The second he starts to slide his hands up Even’s body to be able to, Even’s hands find his, and he pushes them off him, directs Isak’s arms over his head, flat against the bed. It stretches Even out, makes him come that much closer to Isak and he hovers there, small smirk on his lips, sighs pouring from his lips at his hips continuous movements.

“Stay,” he directs and Isak raises his eyebrows, teasing him but at the same time making sure that his hands stay where they are as Even pulls back.

Even’s hands slide down the length of Isak’s arms, over his armpits, up his shoulders and there he bends his fingers, makes sure his nails scratch along Isak’s skin as he continues down, over Isak’s nipples, over his ribs and stomach, leaving long red lines in his wake.

Isak’s panting by now, so turned on by this display that he can’t lie still anymore, his hips making small aborted thrusts against Even, he can feel his mouth working but doesn’t quite know if he’s saying anything from how loud the roar of blood is in his ears.

Fuck.  _ Fuck! _

“Even,” he moans, trying to tell him to get on with it with that one word, hoping he can communicate his need, his want for more with just that word.

But Even keeps smirking, just keeps rolling his hips in those wide circles that are making Isak lose his mind and he can’t wait anymore, he just needs to fuck up into him, he needs to chase the pleasure building in his body, the heat rising in his stomach, making him tense all over.

Even must see it on him, or maybe he’s feeling it too, because he suddenly pulls off Isak, and Isak can’t comprehend anything but the loss of heat and pressure around his dick, lies there, breathing heavily, making small complaining noises, not sure he’s ready for another round of slow and deep.

“Come on, Isak,” Even says with a desperation in his voice that Isak doesn’t hear often.

He snaps his eyes from the ceiling to Even who’s already positioned himself on his hands and knees next to Isak, wiggling his ass so Isak will hurry up. Isak scrambles to get up, legs tangling in the duvet in his haste and he has a short fight with it as he tries to shuffle into position behind Even.

When he’s there, duvet-free and so fucking ready, Even spreads his legs for him even more, slides his knees to the sides a bit, arches his back and finally lets Isak see.

Jesus Christ. Isak has never seen anything so captivating in his life. Even’s hole is red and puffy, looks a bit sloppy, and it’s so  _ wet _ . The entire area around it is glistening, hairs lying slick against his skin and Isak doesn’t even fight it, just runs his fingers over all that wetness, pushes a thumb easily inside of Even.

Even looks obscene.

Used and perfect.

Isak could stay here all day, just rubbing that swollen rim, teasing Even with small soft touches, and Even obviously knew that. Seeing Even’s hole covered in the remnants of him, his cum soaking his skin, is touching something very primal inside of Isak, something he would be ashamed of it if wasn’t for how Even has shown him over and over again that this part of him, he understands too. Accepts along every other part of Isak.

And then Isak looks down at himself, sees how his pubes are caked with drying cum, glistening with left-over lube and he feels  _ dirty _ , but in the best of ways.

“Fuck,” he mutters and he’s not going to be any more eloquent than this with what Even’s offering him.

“Come on,” Even whines, wiggles his hips again, alluring and so perfect that Isak almost swallows his tongue.

He slides his knees apart as well, adjusting the height. He doesn’t want to tease anymore, can feel it in the tingling of his balls that he can’t wait any longer either, so he wraps his hand around his dick to steady it, puts the tip against Even’s hole, watches the rim clench and unclench as he does. He pushes inside in one long push, fast and sure, doesn’t stop until his hips are against Even’s ass, and then he pulls out quickly, almost all the way, only to do it all over again.

Even’s loud, moaning and cursing and mumbling, body shaking under him and he’s the prettiest sight ever. Isak tightens his grip on Even’s hips, pulls him back as he thrusts inside, into all that wet heat over and over again.

This time, Even lets Isak decide the pace, decide what to do. And Isak lets his body dictate how fast and how hard and he fucks into Even over and over again, barely slapped against the skin of his ass before he’s pulling out again.

It’s fast and it’s dirty and it’s everything he wanted.

Even cries out, arms collapsing under him and he falls first to his elbows, then to his shoulders and he turns his head to the side and just stays there, back arched, legs spread, offering himself completely to Isak and the new angle changes everything, makes it easier for Isak to fuck him, to go faster. He keeps using Even’s hips as leverage, pulls him back on his dick, uses every muscle in his body to fuck him hard and fast, hips pistoning into Even.

Sweat is pouring off him, dripping from his temple, from his armpits, tickling his skin, there’s so much sensation in his body that he feels like he might explode any second.

Isak’s eyes fly over the skin of Even’s body, watching how he just surrenders to Isak, offers his body up to him like that, making Isak burst with pride and happiness from how much he trusts him.

Isak is getting so close now, deliriously chasing his own orgasm, his dick and balls almost aching by now and he needs to touch Even, needs him to come alongside him.

He slides his hands up Even’s back, revels in how good all that wet skin feels against his palms and when he slides them down again, he uses the change in position to be able to reach under Even with one hand as the other finds it way back to Even’s hips to get his leverage back.

As soon as he wraps his hand around Even’s dick, Even makes these high-pitched  _ ah, ah, ah _ -sounds that Isak knows and loves, and within seconds, everything in Even tightens, his hole clenches hard around Isak and his hand gets wet with Even’s cum.

He works him through it, keeps stroking him, milking him of every last drop, clenching his teeth against the added pressure around his dick.

And he slows down for Even’s orgasm, just a bit, just to be able to concentrate on finishing him off, of making it really good for Even, but every tight clench around his dick, every sound from Even makes him clench his teeth and push his toes into the mattress in a futile attempt to keep it slow, to be good for Even.

As soon as Even’s done, as the last rope of cum has been pushed from him, as his body loses all tension, Isak picks up the speed. In one fluent movement, he lets go of Even’s dick, puts his hand back on Even’s hip instead, and starts frantically fucking into Even all over again, pushing new sounds out of Even, making his own throat sore and used with how loud he’s being.

It’s so good, it’s so much, all this wetness, looking down at his dick disappearing inside Even, looking at his cum leaking out of Even, making him dirty, making them dirty, it’s obscene and perfect and Isak has never been more in love with Even than he is right now.

His balls are pulled up so tight now, his dick twitching with pleasure as it rubs against Even’s soft walls, and then Even opens his eyes, turns his head even more to be able to look at Isak, blinking wetness out of his eyes as he does.

“Do it, fill me up, baby,” he says in this rough voice that sends shivers down Isak’s spine, makes heat explode in his stomach and hurls him towards the inevitable orgasm.

So he does.

Isak tightens his grip on Even’s hips until it’s almost bruising and he pushes himself as deep inside Even as he can go and then he pushes some more, buries himself to the hilt, and his entire body erupts with pleasure as he unloads deep inside Even. It starts in his dick, his balls, moves on from there to the rest of his body, electricity racing over his skin, setting him on fire, making him burn in the best of ways.

He keeps pushing deeper inside, hips working on their own volition as he marks Even, fills him up from within, and just knowing that he’s doing that adds to it, makes his skin hotter and his muscles more tense and his balls push even more cum out, to leave inside Even.

His hips keep pumping, small aborted thrusts, followed by small convulsions as his pleasure washes over him again and again until he’s seeing white spots behind his eyes, until he’s utterly spent and exhausted.

Until he collapses on Even’s back, slumped and heavy, and it seems like there isn’t enough air in the room for him anymore.

So he stays there, can’t even begin to fathom how to move when he’s doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

With Even. Inside Even.

He wants to touch Even, wants to wrap his arms around him, slide his hands over his chest, wants desperately to kiss him and taste their orgasms on his lips, on his breath.

But he can’t.

All strength has left his body, seems to have vanished along with all the cum he left inside of Even. So he keeps lying there, even though he knows he’s too heavy, that it can’t be comfortable for Even to support his weight like that.

Even lets him. Sweet, perfect Even lets him lie there, just takes all his weight until he’s finally able to move.

And when he finally does, when he leans back, carefully gets up on his knees without leaving Even, with his dick still buried in his ass, he pauses there. Looks at how wonderful a sight is it, how right his dick looks inside of Even.

And then he slowly pulls back, excruciatingly slow, makes sure that as much of him stays inside of Even as possible, and he honestly just wants to plug him back up all over again.

The second his dick finally pops free of Even’s rim, he watches how it clenches, tries to close around thin air, around nothing, and then the first gollup of cum trickles out of him, slowly running down his perineum, down his low-hanging balls.

“Fuck!” Isak exclaims, wants to catch it, wants to put it back inside Even where it belongs, but Even makes this sighing whimper that tears Isak’s eyes away from his hole to his eyes, and what he sees there takes his breath away.

Even looks wrecked, he looks perfect.

Eyes wet, lips so puffy and red, mouth open. Big eyes staring back at him.

As soon as he notices that he has Isak’s attention, he whispers, “Kiss me.”

And how can Isak say no to that?

It’s like balm for the soul to feel Even’s lips against his. They’ve kissed in many ways during the time they’ve been together, but it surprises Isak over and over again how new it can feel.

This kiss is lingering, soft, gentle. It’s lips sliding against each other, it’s tongues barely meeting, it’s showing each other that they’re there. 

It’s sharing love.

There are so many things being said with this kiss that Isak’s eyes are burning and he’s not sure if it’s just him, but it almost feels like a declaration of some sort.

When they finally pull apart, they lie close, face to face, body to body. Always touching, never able to get too close.

Even’s lying on his stomach, long limbs finally resting, and Isak looks and looks at him.

Can’t believe that this is his, that he’s somehow lucky enough that this is his life.

Even’s eyes are so bright, small smile playing on his lips and if Isak were to guess, he would think that Even feels the same.

But at the back of his mind, there’s this longing to look. Just to see. Just to lean down and discover if Even is still full of him.

And his eyes dart down towards Even’s ass, not once and not twice, but apparently enough that Even notices and huffs out a small, intimate laugh.

It’s not mocking or teasing, it’s because he likes that Isak is like this.

And that thought makes Isak flush a bit, having all this acceptance of his small quirks.

“Sooo,” Even starts, effectively breaking the silence and his lips widen in a bigger smile and Isak is almost prepared for what comes next. “Jizz??”

Isak can’t help but smile, although he rolls his eyes as he does. “Shut up,” he says and immediately kisses Even to soften the words.

“I love how your mind works,” Even teases again and Isak decides to shut him up again with his mouth.

Which turns out to be the best distraction there is.

Although Isak knows he’s going to be teased about this for a while. That there are probably going to be so many jabs from the guys over the next long while. But it’s worth it, it’s all worth it.

When this is what he gets in return. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J is for jizz (and buttplug).
> 
> Ayesha guessed it in the server because of course she did. hahaha <3
> 
> I won't even try to make any promises as to when the next chapter will be out. Apparently, I suck at keeping those. xD


	24. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maugurt betaed this and did a wonderful job like she always does. Immy gave me the idea for this and I hope you like what I've done with it, babe! :)
> 
> As always, the letter is explained in the endnotes, and without further ado, I'm gonna let you read.
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

He’s halfway through his biology homework with Sana when his phone buzzes. He doesn’t pick it up, knows how annoyed Sana gets, but he does glance at the screen as it lights up and sees Even’s name there.

It’s not until it buzzes again, and Sana throws him an unimpressed look at the interruption, that he finally picks it up.

_ Do you remember where we put the drill?  _

_ Nvm _

Isak stares at the screen, confused as hell, because normally, Even doesn’t ask him about their power tools. He can’t remember any of them ever using the drill before. They got it as a gift from his dad when they moved in because apparently,  _ you need one when you live on your own _ . 

Isak had kind of rolled his eyes at it and ended up putting it into a closet somewhere. He’s not even sure where it is exactly.

And apparently Even isn’t either.

_ Why do you need a drill? _

He sends it off quickly, doesn’t want Sana to lose her patience with him and puts his phone to the side to focus back on the methylation of histones.  

But it’s hard to concentrate when his mind keeps going back to the thought of Even with a drill. What’s he doing? They don’t really have money for new paintings or furniture. Even knows this, Isak knows he knows this.

And it’s even harder to concentrate when Even doesn’t answer back.

Half an hour later, he still hasn’t heard anything so while Sana takes a short bathroom break, he picks up the phone.

_ What’s going on? _

When Sana comes back, Even still hasn’t answered him and Isak starts to worry. 

_ Even? _

He tries one last time before he has to put the phone away, and Sana is just sitting down opposite him, eyes already on the open book in front of her when his phone finally buzzes. 

_ When will you be home? _

Isak frowns at his phone. He’s torn between wanting Even to answer him and just humoring him because generally good things happen when he does that.

Sana’s annoyed huff makes the decision easy for him though.

_ I’ll be home in an hour _

And then he puts his phone down and focuses on getting done so he can keep this promise.

\--||--

Isak unlocks their front door slowly, makes sure that he’s making noise as the key enters the lock, makes sure that Even has enough warning to do whatever he has in mind. If he needs warning to get ready.

It’s scary how that has become almost routine for him now, how when it’s Even’s turn to do a letter, Isak always doesn’t quite know what to expect. Although they are similar in so many ways, knows each other so well, some things, he just can’t predict.

And if he’s honest, most of the letters that Even has done has been close to impossible for Isak to guess beforehand. He’s even had trouble guessing them during.

It’s been so much fun to see how differently their minds work when they’re faced with something like this.

”Even?” he calls out and sticks his head through the door. And freezes.

A few long seconds pass with Isak just standing there, door open, most of his body on the outside, head on the inside. Eyes bulging out of his head, mouth open in disbelief.

“Close the door,” Even says, a little bit frantic, a little bit shy.

It spurs Isak into action, makes him quick in getting into the apartment to close the door behind him.

“How—why—what are you doing?” Isak finally manages to get out.

It makes Even chuckle, makes his body move in an interesting way, which in turn makes Isak swallow hard. His mouth it suddenly so dry, his body warm. A bit too warm. He’s flushing like crazy and isn’t sure he’ll ever find words to speak again.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Even says and if his voice was shy before, it’s anything but now. It’s confident, pleased, seductive. Like he knows what Isak’s face is doing, even though his back is turned to Isak, and he’s pleased about it.

“No?” Isak asks, doesn’t know why he needed to make that a question, but apparently, he did.

He slowly takes his backpack off, hears it land heavily on the floor, but he doesn’t even care about his laptop or his notes or his books. None of that matters.

He can’t look away from Even. His eyes are glued to him as he zips his jacket down, lets that slide off his shoulders carelessly too, knocks his snapback off, somehow manages to toe his shoes off without looking.

He can’t look away.

He divests himself of the rest of his clothes clumsily, eagerly, just throws it wherever, it doesn’t matter.

All that matters is this.

He’s completely lost for an appropriate reaction. He doesn’t quite know what to say or what to do. How does one react to seeing their boyfriend like this?

The second the last sock is off his foot, he starts moving forward. The floor creaks when he reaches that floorboard and he can tell that Even notices how he’s coming closer. Even turns his head, eyes finding his over his shoulder and Isak feels his chest explode with how much he loves him.

This is a gesture unlike anything other.

He remembers them talking about it briefly weeks ago, remembers them both mentioning that they wanted to try this, but he never expected something like this.

Even is stretched out in their doorway, hands and legs tied to the sides, so that he’s making an X.

He’s naked.

All that skin, all those muscles, so much for Isak to look at. To admire.

He looks so broad over the shoulders, standing there like that, the delicate form of his body as it slims from his shoulders to his waist. His beautiful, mouth-watering ass, completely on display like this.

Isak just wants to touch, wants to taste.

With Even’s legs spread it gives Isak a tantalizing glint at what’s between those ass cheeks. 

Isak moves closer, almost close enough to touch, close enough that he can feel the heat Even is emanating, can smell that subtle musky smell that’s all him.

It drives him crazy, makes him think of nights spent making Even sweat, getting him to make those kinds of sounds that Isak lives for.

He doesn’t touch, though. Not yet. First, he just watches. He looks up and notices the nooses that Even has tied himself to the doorway with, leans in careful not to touch and sees the screw eyes he’s drilled into the wall to have something to tie himself too.

He wonders how long Even has planned this. He must’ve been to some sort of hardware shop to be able to do this, been somewhere he could find those soft scarfs he’s used.  

He moves under Even’s arm, is careful with how his body moves, where he touches Even as he steps through the doorway while barely touching Even.

And then he’s standing face to face with him.

“Hi,” he whispers, leans in to put his forehead against Even’s.

“Hi,” he answers, in just as low a voice, and purses his lips for Isak to kiss them.

Which he does. Of course he does. No way he’s not doing what Even asks him to, especially when he’s asking this of him.

And then he steps back, suddenly, almost making Even’s lips smack in the process from the loss of his lips.

He steps back and looks at Even.

He’s hard, dick defying gravity, pointing upwards, red and leaking. His body is already starting to shiver, but it doesn’t look like it’s from strain, it looks like it’s from anticipation.

Even keeps licking his lips, making them wet and inviting, and he keeps his eyes on Isak.

Isak flushes.

He likes this, really likes this, likes being the one Even trusts to make this good for him.

Isak’s never seen anything this good in his life.

He wants to save this image in his mind forever, looks some more just to help it settle in his memory.

“Isak,” Even whines and when Isak’s eyes shoot to Even’s, it’s to discover his pupils so dilated that almost no blue is left.

“Shh,” Isak says and steps close. He puts his hand on Even’s dick, leans in so his mouth is by Even’s ear, and as he lazily starts stroking Even, he says, “I’m gonna take care of you. Don’t worry, baby.”

Even pants into his ear, whines high in his throat, and turns his head to mouth at the skin of Isak’s throat.

He starts thrusting into Isak’s hand, desperately trying to pick up the tempo, but Isak just stops as he does. And it makes Even whine all over again.

It’s not until Even stops thrusting that Isak moves his hand again.

Isak lets Even suck his throat, ignores his own dick that’s rapidly getting hard too, loves how he’s making Even tremble with just his hand.

“Are you clean?” he says with a low voice. Everything about this makes him want to keep his voice down.

Even nods, quickly, eagerly, and when Isak pulls back, his eyes are already clenched and he’s biting his bottom lip.

He’s gorgeous. The prettiest man in the world. And he’s all Isak’s.

No one’s ever seen him like this, no one has ever done the things to him that Isak wants to do. That he wants Isak to do. Only him.

It makes something possessive swell in him, something he would normally bury deep inside. But Even giving him the reigns like this makes it fight to claw out of his chest, makes it impossible to push down, bury away.

So he lets himself feel it. For once.

This man is his. All his.

And he’s going to make him feel so good. Do the things to him that Even dreamed of when he planned for this. Make sure that Even knows that Isak can give him just what he needs.

And with that thought in mind, he lets go of Even’s dick, ignores his protests as he once again steps through the doorway, body twisting to go around Even, under his arm and over his leg.

And then he drops to his knees so his face is just in front of Even’s ass.

Even is already starting to breathe more heavily, not quite panting, but it’s loud in the quiet of the room. He’s arching his back a bit, almost like he’s trying to be subtle about how he’s offering himself up to Isak.

And Isak can’t help but smile at that, because there is nothing subtle about the way Even has put himself on display like this.

Isak puts his hands on Even’s ass, caresses the cheeks gently, feels how smooth the skin is there, enjoys how the muscle flexes under his hands. His thumbs strokes gently, slowly moves further and further in, and he’s enjoying how Even’s breath is hitching, how his hands are holding onto the restraints. How his legs shake from holding himself still.

And Isak continues these slow movements, lets himself feel the coarse hair that’s starting to rub against the pads of his thumb, how the heat increases. And then without warning, he digs his thumbs in and spreads Even’s cheeks wide.

Even moans, brokenly, a sound so full of want that Isak feels his own dick throb from it.

He leans in, rubs his chin and cheek and nose against the soft skin of Even’s ass, hears the rasp of his stubble against it, and he loves how Even arches his back even more, spreads his cheeks wide, giving Isak room.

Isak circles his face around the place Even wants him the most, alternates between rubbing against one cheek and then the next, kissing the skin delicately, gently, licking with the tip of his tongue on the top of Even’s crack.

“Ah!” Even moans and pushes back against Isak.

Isak rubs the tip of his nose along the normally hidden, warm skin there, feels how the hair there goes from downy to a bit coarser the further down he gets. And just when his mouth reaches Even’s hole, he pauses and then pulls back.

Even whines, a loud unsatisfied sound high in his throat, pushes his ass further back, like he’s chasing Isak’s face.

Isak can’t keep in the smile, can’t help but kiss the ass cheek closest to his mouth at Even’s eagerness.

Even looks back over his shoulder, has to strain his long neck to be able to see Isak, but Isak helps him by leaning back on his haunches a bit. He looks up at him, doesn’t even try to hide the smirk at how much he loves to tease Even and Even smiles back. But it’s a little bit strained. Isak can see how it doesn’t quite meet his eyes like it normally does, but his gaze is on fire, and he looks at Isak in a way that takes his breath away.

Even doesn’t even have to speak. Isak knows what he’s saying.

Isak’s smile widens, turns into a real smile, his hands still holding onto Even’s ass, holding his cheeks apart. He tightens his grip a little bit more and looks from Even’s eyes to his hole. Watches how it clenches and unclenches like it’s trying to lure him inside.

Isak doesn’t need to be lured, he already wants what’s offered to him.

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t warn Even or tells him to calm down. He just leans forward, tongue first, puts the broadest part of his tongue over Even’s hole and works it against him. Makes him wet, makes sure he feels the roughness of the surface of his tongue against the most intimate, soft place of him.

He keeps his tongue broad, starts to work it up, sliding every part of it close enough to reach Even over his hole and as soon as he’s past the rim, he goes back and does it all over again.

And then again.

Even is pushing back, is probably straining against his restraints to work himself back like this, but Isak has his eyes closed, is moaning out his pleasure from doing this to Even, loving how the rim furls under his tongue, feeling how he’s making the muscle there work.

On the next broad stroke, he stops midway and pokes at Even with the tip, enough to make Even mutter “Fuck!”, enough to make him tense a bit, but before he can get used to it, Isak pulls back a bit and starts circling his rim softly instead. Around and around and around, licks into every crease there, every secret part of Even, makes him sloppy and relaxed.

And then he does it again, pokes at him with the tip of his tongue, and this time, Even just opens up so beautifully for him.

“Yeah, like that,” Isak pulls back to say and then he’s back again, only stops to say those three words to Even.

Even is starting to shiver under his hands, against his face, moaning like a pornstar, skin getting wet with sweat.

Isak knows how much Even loves this, loves when Isak works him with his tongue, shows him just how much he loves him by giving him all this pleasure.

It’s one of Isak’s favorite things as well.

He pushes his face into Even’s ass a bit more, tries to get his tongue further inside, wants to lick his walls and taste him.

But there’s a limit to how far he can go like this, especially when he can’t make Even bend over and spread his legs. So he lets go of one of Even’s ass cheeks, pulls his tongue out for a few long seconds to get his thumb wet with spit, and then he’s back at it.

His own dick throbs between his legs as he pushes his thumb against Even’s hole and it just gives, sucks his thumb in alongside his tongue, and he loves how Even’s ass clenches around him and the sounds his thumb forces out of Even.

“Isak,” he mutters in a desperate voice, probably already wants Isak to put another finger in him, but Isak isn’t quite ready for that yet.

He just hums back in answer, although he knows he’s not saying what Even wants him to say.

He doesn’t start fucking Even with his thumb, just keeps licking into him, keeps fucking him with his tongue, using the finger to pull at Even’s rim so he can go further inside. Even is relaxing around his tongue, around his finger, slowly. With every poke of his tongue, he can feel how the rim stretches, how it gives way for him, allows him further and further inside, until there’s more than enough space around his thumb for another.

So he does the same again, wets his other thumb and gently pushes it inside next to the one already there.

And then he pauses there, leans back and watches in fascination how Even is already fitting two of his biggest fingers inside, how there’s already room between them for his tongue to fit. He barely manages to force his eyes away from that sight, but when he does, it’s to notice the flush that’s covering almost all of Even. He’s red and sweaty all the way down his back, splotchy red on his thighs and ass and Isak wants to lick him everywhere.

Taste his desperation in the sweat on his skin.

Instead, he leans back in and licks around his thumbs, licks his way inside of Even, going further than before. He licks at the soft walls, loves how silky and warm they feel, tries to ignore how insistently his dick pulses at the thought of it fitting inside there soon. Snugly. Tightly.

But he knows he’ll fit. Even always makes room for him.

Even’s breathing is loud in the quiet of the room, whiny moans and groaning noises disturbing the silence, and Isak’s panting around his tongue, fighting to get enough air inside his lungs in the tight space he’s in.

When he finally pulls back, his jaw is hurting, his thumbs and chin are slick with spit, almost to the point of it dripping from him, and Even is standing before him on shaking legs, wriggling around in his constraints. Pulling at them, legs working to go further apart, to allow him to push his ass further back.

He’s thrusting into thin air with no way of getting any pressure on his dick.

And Isak knows that if he were to look, he would find Even’s dick probably dripping with precum. Isak wants to look, desperately wants to see, but he’s keeping Even on a knife’s edge as it is, and he doesn’t want to overwhelm him.

So he gets up on shaking legs, stands there and admires Even, how beautiful he is.

How every centimeter of all that skin, of all that strength hidden underneath, is his. His to touch, his to kiss, his to love.

And that’s what he’s going to do.

“Lube?” he asks, barely recognizes his own voice, how rough and used it sounds.

He doesn’t remember moaning that loudly, but he wasn’t really paying attention to the sounds he was making himself. He was far too tuned into Even’s sounds, Even’s breathing, Even’s walls fluttering around his fingers and tongue.

Even swallows hard, nods his head backward, and mutters, “There, on the floor.”

Isak looks to the side and yeah, there it is.

He’s surprised that he didn’t see it before. It’s standing almost right beside him, pushed to the wall of their hallway. But he guesses he’s excused. He's had a really hard time looking elsewhere but Even since he opened the door.

The sound of the lube opening is like a gunshot in the room, it’s clear and impossible to miss, as is the way Even hangs his head and relaxes into his restraints.

Isak pours a healthy amount into his hand, wettens his dick with it and pushes two fingers inside Even. He isn’t stretching him, he’s just making him ready for him.

He braces himself with a hand on Even’s side and pulls his fingers out quickly. Even makes this deep rumbly sound, birthed somewhere deep inside of him that lets Isak know just how eager and impatient he is now.

Isak soothes him with a gentle stroke of his thumb and uses the other hand to steady his dick as he gets into position behind Even.

When the tip of his dick is resting against Even’s hole, he watches how it flutters with fascination. He knows how amazing it feels when he’s inside all that heat and all that tightness, can feel how his balls are already tingling from how much he wants a release now.

He’s wet with more than lube now, that’s for sure.

He rubs the tip against Even’s hole, up and down his crack a few times, and then he starts adding pressure.

He watches Even open up for him, how he uncurls his hole so beautifully until Isak fits, and he pushes until his head pops through, making them both moan, making Even hang his head even more, and as he starts pushing in, Isak turns his eyes away from the glorious sight of his dick disappearing inside Even, to look up at Even.

His hair is curling at the base of his neck, sweat pearling there, at the skin of his shoulders. His chest is rhythmically rising and falling with his harsh breaths and Isak just wishes he could kiss him. Could see exactly how Even takes it, whether his eyes are clenched or he has them open, glassy and empty, eyes looking but not seeing.

He’s worked himself inside Even so many times now that he’s lost count, but he knows all the ways Even looks when he does. He’s cataloged each and every one of his faces, whether it’s surprise or franticness or just right, he knows those faces.

But now all he has to look at is his back.

So Isak lets his eyes explore, watches the strain in Even’s shoulder muscles, how his shoulder blades are stretched apart from the restraints, the skin there tight and glistening. He notices the tenseness of his jaw, how tight the tendons in his neck are, standing out, inviting Isak to bite at them.

And then Isak is all the way inside, hips snug against Even’s ass, pushing into the roundness and softness. Even whines, tries to spread his legs, tries to arch his back even more, but he can’t move any further.

Isak gently puts his other hand on Even as well, grip sure on his waist, providing the best kind of leverage for what he’s about to do.

He doesn’t say anything, trusts his knowledge of Even’s reactions, of what his body is telling him. It’s telling him  _ more, now, more, more _ , and Isak is listening.

He pulls out, slowly, carefully, shows Even that he knows what he’s doing, pulls out until only the tip of his dick is inside, and then he pushes back in, just as slow, one long slide home, grits his teeth from how tight Even is, how warm. How perfect he feels around his dick, walls fluttering, providing him with perfect pressure.

When he bottoms out he can’t hold in the sound, lets Even know just how good he’s making him feel. He stays there, buried as deep as he can get in this position, and just holds still.

Lets his hands explore instead.

He watches them slide over the skin of Even’s sides, towards his back, revels in how smooth and perfect Even feels under his fingers. He lets his fingers search out the constellation of moles on his lower back that he’s touched so many times before that he could find them in his sleep. That he regularly finds even when they’re surrounded by darkness, alone and sleepy, wrapped tight in each other.

Isak knows this constellation, has it mapped out in his head. Would recognize Even anywhere just from this.

But he doesn’t linger there for too long, slides his hands up his back slowly, fingers playing along the long, lean lines he finds there, thumbs bumping over each protrusion of his spine, and when he gets to the ones just above his ribs, he starts rolling his hips.

He’s just moving inside of Even, just making sure that Even can feel his dick move, teasing him. And he can see it in the tension of Even’s body, feel it in the goosebumps under his fingers, just how much Even is holding back for him.

He knows that Even understands how much Isak loves this. He loves drawing out the pleasure, loves making Even feel it, feel how much he makes him feel. And it makes him love Even even more that he’s holding back for him. He appreciates it so much because he knows how hard it is.

When all you want to do is fuck, to be filled with dick over and over again. And then deny yourself that.

He slides his hands further up, grinds and grinds and grinds as his fingers dance over the skin of Even’s upper arms, his underarms, up against his fingers, before he starts going the other way. This time, it’s his palms that gets to touch, all the way back down until he can circle Even, until his fingers are resting right by Even’s nipples that are so erect and tight that he knows Even’s going to be really sensitive there.

He ups the pace a bit, pulls out a little more before he thrusts back in, and then he finds Even’s nipples with his fingers.

Even moans loudly, a sound so delicious that Isak can’t hold back from leaning forward to kiss along the hot, wet skin on Even’s neck. He buries his face in the damp curls, lips working against the skin there as he moves a bit faster, and Even responds so beautifully.

He finally starts pushing back, small aborted movements, like he’s afraid that he’s not allowed. But everything he’s done, putting himself on display like this, making it obvious for Isak just how much he trusts him, makes Isak never want to say no to him.

He can have everything he wants. Everything and all of Isak.

Until there’s nothing left for him to give, he doesn’t care.

He works his fingers over Even’s nipples, plays with them, pinches and rubs them, kisses the skin he can reach, and Even is shaking under his hands now.

“I’m so close,” he moans, voice almost unrecognizable, and it sends shivers down Isak’s spine, makes his blood boil.

“You want me to touch you?” he manages to say between pants, will do anything that Even wants him to.

“I don’t know,” Even whines, like he can’t make that kind of decision now.

But Isak knows. If Even is like this, there’s a good chance for him to come untouched. Isak desperately wants that, wants to be the one to fuck Even so good that he comes from that alone.

So he shifts, changes the angle of his dick, removes his hands from Even’s nipples to put them on his waist again, tilts Even’s hips so he can reach that spot inside of Even easier.

And he knows that he does the second Even tenses against him.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” Even babbles, starts fucking himself back on Isak’s dick, like he’s slowly starting to lose control and it’s so infectious.

Isak grits his teeth, but can’t fight how he starts moving faster himself, skin slapping against Even’s a bit harder, reaching deeper inside each time. The way his dick slides against Even’s walls, the way they flutter around him every time he drags his dick over Even’s prostate, is pushing him to go even faster.

Everything is so much. He can barely get enough air into his lungs and he starts pulling Even back onto his dick with each thrust, meeting him somewhere in the middle, the deep ache in his balls forcing him to go faster.

He’s so close himself, every nerve in his body singing with pleasure, his balls and dick tingling with it, and he just has to wait, just has to continue, can’t let himself think about how good Even feels, how perfect he is, how his dick must be leaking. Whether he’s painting the floor underneath them with precum, making it slippery and wet, slow dripping strings of it connecting Even to the floor.

It’s a picture that speeds Isak up, that makes him tighten his grip on Even’s waist to keep himself from not giving in to the urge to reach around and touch Even’s dick, just to know, just to feel how wet it is.

The sounds Even makes with each shove is driving Isak crazy. He starts sucking a bruise into Even’s shoulder, has to make his mouth do something else than spilling out sounds, or he won’t be able to stand it.

Even is starting to rise, is slowly rolling forward on the balls of his feet, making it even easier for Isak to reach that place inside of him, and everything about Even tells Isak that he’s close. So, so close.

The sounds he’s making, the way his body is shivering, the way he’s thrashing his head, turning this way and that, eyes clenched, jaw working, god he’s a sight like this.

And then he stops making sounds, opens his mouth in a wordless scream, pushes himself brutally back against Isak, once, twice, and Isak just concentrates on maintaining the rhythm, of giving Even exactly what he needs.

He keeps thrusting, works his hips in controlled movements even though it’s getting harder and harder. Even feels so fucking good that he doesn’t know how he manages.

And then Even tightens around him, almost to the point where it’s too much, Even’s entire body going tense as he leans his head back against Isak and Isak just barely has the state of mind to look over Even’s shoulder and down his body, is just in time to witness Even’s dick pulse and then start pushing out glob after glob of cum to the rhythm Isak is setting.

It’s amazing, wondrous. Seeing and hearing and feeling Even empty himself like that, seeing how much cum that spurts out of him in steady pulses, sliding down his dick, down to the floor, making him dirty and delicious and Isak just wants to eat it up, rub it into his skin and make himself smell of Even. Smell of Even’s.

Instead, he focuses on working Even through it the best he can, stabs into him with short precise jabs, designed to hit him where it’ll matter most, and he makes sure that he prolongs it for Even, keeps him coming for as long as possible, shakes his head to suffer through how tight Even is like this.

He’s not thinking of his own orgasm, is just completely focused on getting Even off, of making sure that it’s good for Even.

And then Even slumps, all the tension gone from his body in an instance, breathing hard and rapid, and Isak continues for as long as Even will let him, starts chasing his own orgasm now that he knows Even’s done.

He fucks into Even hard, shuffling his body with every thrust, arms wrapped around his torso and he’s as close as he can get now. His hips are moving at a frantic pace, and he hears Even’s gasps and whines, but he also hears him saying “Keep going,” and he trusts Even to tell him if it is too much, so he does.

His skin is tingling, nerves shooting all over, electricity running through his body in a tantalizing way, making everything feel like more. He’s so close, with every shove and push and thrust, he moves closer to the end, to the inevitability of it, but he wants it. Wants to show Even just how good he is for him, has been for him, doing things like this that takes him by surprise in the best of ways.

And then it’s almost there, his toes curling against the floor, moans turning into loud grunts, his dick pulsing and his balls pulling up tight, and with one last thrust that puts him deep, deep inside that perfect hole, he lets go.

He roars out his release, working his hips to go inside, deeper, to get more, more, and more, and Even stands there, lets Isak take his pleasure from him so perfectly that Isak tightens his grip around him and can’t control how his hips keep drilling deeper inside of Even.

He shoots once, twice, and then just barely has the state of mind to lean back, swiftly pulls out of Even to shoot over his ass, over his hole, painting him in white, making him drip with it. His hand is working his dick, slick and perfect from being inside Even, the sensation of it reverberating through his entire body, from his toes to his ears, flushing his skin and stealing his breath.

And when he’s done, when the last remnants of cum has been pushed out of him, when his balls are tingling with emptiness, he puts the tip to Even’s hole and pushes inside while he can.

Even groans against him, is probably almost too sensitive for Isak to do this, but Isak just pulls him into his arms, pushes his body against his and holds him as tight as he possibly can.

He doesn’t move inside Even. Just needs to be as close to him as he can get. And Even seems to feel the same. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t pull away, just slumps back against Isak.

They stand there like that for a while, lets their breath return to something resembling normal, neither of them mentioning the mess or how Isak can feel his own cum starting to slide over the skin of his thighs.

He knows they need to move soon, needs to release Even’s legs and arms, but for now, he doesn’t want to move.

He wants to stand here, like this, holding his boyfriend tight, showing him how much this means to him.

How perfect he is for him.

Even hums against him, lets Isak have this, but it doesn’t take long for him to start shifting uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” Isak slurs and pulls back.

The slick sound his dick makes as he pulls out makes him take notice, makes him aware of how gross they are, sweaty and covered in lube and cum.

But it’s perfect.

Like this, they’re perfect.

He leans up and carefully loosens the scarf around Even’s wrist, and once that’s free, he does the same to the other. Even rubs the skin there, it’s a bit red but nothing that won’t go down before anybody will notice. And then Isak kneels and does the same to the scarves on his ankles.

“Don’t tell my mom,” Even says, making Isak huff out a laugh, making him look up at Even as he slowly releases the last restraint.

Well, that answers how Even got those scarves, at least.

“Not a word,” Isak promises and puts the floral-printed scarf to the side. He doesn’t really want to think about Even’s mom right now.

He stands up and is immediately pulled into Even’s arms, lips finding his in a bruising kiss, much too frantic and heated for the fact that they both just came.

“Hi,” Even whispers against his lips, rubs the tip of his nose against Isak’s in a move that never fails to make him smile.

“Hi,” Isak whispers back. Like he always does.

“I hope they won’t be too hard to remove,” Even smiles and nods towards the doorway, towards the screw eyes that are lodged there.

Isak smiles back, leans in to kiss Even again. And he stays close to his lips, can feel his breath wash over his skin, so close that it’s  _ just  _ possible to look each other in the eye before they turn cross-eyed.

And then he says, “Leave them. We might want to use them another time.”

Even lights up in a perfect smile, eyebrows lifted like he can’t believe the words coming out of Isak’s mouth. Can’t believe them, but impossibly delighted by them.

And then Isak loses sight of what else he wants to say when Even pulls him in and kisses him again.

Isak feels this kiss down to his toes, it always amazes him how much Even can say without words.

When they pull apart, he’s out of breath all over again, heart beating fast in his chest, love blooming inside of him, making him warm all over again.

God. He’ll never get enough of this man, will never be able to settle for anything less.

He can’t imagine ever wanting anything else.

“Next time, it’s your turn,” Even teases.

And it doesn’t make Isak scared or hesitant or anything else than happy to get the chance to show Even how much he trusts him too.

So it’s easy to kiss him again, a short, familiar one this time.

And say, “Yeah. Next time.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> X for being tied up like an X.
> 
> Let's just say, that I was under a lot of pressure from the gc to make Even say "You shall not pass!" but I'm afraid it just didn't fit in. I hope they like it anyway. xD
> 
> There are two chapters left now, I hope you guys are still interested in reading because I still have fun writing this. :)


	25. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday smut, my friends! :D
> 
> Maugurt betaed and I loved every last one of the gifs she used to react to my writing (<3). xD
> 
> As you know, the letter is explained in the end notes. I hope you guys enjoy Isak's last letter. :)

”Isak?”

Isak hums in answer, head bent over his books and the essay he has to write for tomorrow’s deadline. He expects Even to continue, but instead, there’s only silence.

It’s  _ that  _ that makes him look up from his books.

Even is standing in the doorway, looking a bit sheepish, like he’s about to ask Isak for something he’s not sure Isak will agree to.

So Isak leans back and gives Even his full attention.

“What’s up?”

Even takes a step into the room. “You know how we only have two letters left of the game?” he asks.

Isak nods.

“I was just wondering if it would be okay if we divided the letters instead of you choosing one.”

Isak can’t help but tease. “What, you have a favorite?”

Even takes another couple of steps into the room while he nods. “Yeah, I really don’t know what to do with I but I know just the thing I want to do with C. It would be the perfect letter to finish this game with.”

“So you take the easy letter and I’m stuck with the hard one?” 

And Even lights up in a smile as he says, “You’re used to the hard letters by now, baby.”

Isak laughs and tilts his head. Even does have a point there.

Even comes closer, leans on the table next to Isak’s books and strokes Isak’s hair away from his face. 

“Shouldn’t be too hard for you. Just use your I-ntelligence.”

And Even looks so pleased with that, that Isak buries his head in his hands and groans.

“Yeah, no wonder you couldn’t think of something for I if that’s your best shot.”

And Even laughs and leans in to kiss Isak.

When he leans back, Isak is still smiling, and Even is too, and Isak doesn’t feel too bad about I. 

It doesn’t really seem like such a hard letter. He’s had worse.

\--||--

Turns out, I is a fucking hard letter.  

Everything he comes up with are things they’ve already done. Like I for ice, or for immobilize, or for in bed or in the shower or -- aghhh.

He honestly didn’t expect this, he’s found ways to do Z and W, even managed to make J into being about buttplugs. Why is I so hard for him?

This is his last letter, he wants it to be good. A bit spectacular, even. And instead, the days have just been passing by without him getting any closer to coming up with anything.

Have they really tried everything now? Are there no more things that he’s curious about? 

Although he knows that it’s not like their sex life will stop abruptly when the game stops, it’s just been so easy to try new things he never normally would have suggested while doing it. Maybe it’s because they have a system, maybe it’s because they allowed each other to explore to their hearts desire and they know they can always say no.

Isak really doesn’t want it to end here. They just have to find a way to keep doing this, maybe not quite so organized, and maybe not quite so often.

They’ve done so many things in such a short amount of time that he almost feels like he hasn’t really absorbed everything. Hasn’t really had time to realize what he wants to do again (and again and again).

He knows they have time for that too. Knows that they will absorb these things together when it’s over.

But first. 

I.

He’s so fucked.

\--||--

It’s been three days since the talk. He feels like shit, he didn’t sleep much last night because he was worrying about it.

And now he has to go to the gym with the boys.

He really, really doesn’t want to, except the alternative isn’t really that much better. He doesn’t want to think about that letter anymore, doesn’t want to come home to Even who probably thinks he has it all figured out and is going to show him what his plan for I is tonight.

He doesn’t want to see the disappointment on Even’s face. 

So he goes.

It’s taken Mahdi some time to convince them to come. He started working there at the reception a couple of times a week after school, and he’s been after them to come try it out ever since he started.

They always have a million different excuses, but today they apparently ran out, because here they’re standing, all changed into shorts and t-shirts, looking and feeling out of place.

While Mahdi is standing behind the counter looking like he belongs there.

“I’ll just show you the ropes, and if you like it, maybe you can get a real instructor to show you how to work the machines right the next time,” he says, all smile.

The boys mumble their assent and shuffles after Mahdi as he starts walking towards the machines.

Isak looks at Mahdi as he walks in front of them. His shoulders are definitely wider, his arms bigger. His biceps even stretch the sleeves of the t-shirt he’s wearing a bit. When did that happen?

Isak’s been fine just doing the workouts he does at home, some sit-ups, push-ups, lunges. He knows he has a good core, knows that he’s pretty defined, but seeing Mahdi makes him wonder if he should do more. If Even would like him to be more buff.

“It’s not so busy yet, but in about an hour there’ll be people everywhere, so you have some time to try things out,” Mahdi says and stops at a machine for the biceps.

“I prefer just using weights if I have to do this,” Jonas says, side-eyeing the machine, while Mahdi sets it up for them.

Mahdi just gives him a look, like he can’t believe Jonas is saying that. And honestly, they all know it’s shit because Jonas doesn’t do weights either. 

“Yeah, well, you’re just gonna have to do it this way because I tell you to. And I’m your instructor right now, so you have to do what I say.”

Jonas and Magnus both laugh along with Mahdi, but Isak feels as if he’s been hit by a truck.

_ Instructor.  _

_ Do as I say. _

Well.

Yes.

That could work.

Jonas climbs into the machine and starts working his biceps and Isak is frozen to the spot thinking of all the possibilities, of how much fun he could have with this.

Oh yeah. He can’t wait to get home now.

\--||--

When they finally leave, they’re all pretty exhausted and Mahdi is looking really pleased that they came. Which, all in all, is the reason they went in the first place. Isak had tried holding back a bit, doesn’t want to be too tired for tonight, but it had been pretty hard when the boys had turned it into a contest.

Isak is a sucker for a challenge.

So his arms feel like noodles and his legs are still a bit shaky when he finally makes it home.

His hair is still damp from the shower at the gym. He’d barely taken the time to dry it properly, just wanted to get back home.

Because with what he’s got planned, it doesn’t really matter if he can barely move and is pretty exhausted.

It’s not him who’s going to do the work tonight.

The apartment smells divine when he opens the front door, music coming from the kitchen along with Even’s voice as he sings along and the sounds of him cooking.

It’s so domestic that it feels like something has reached inside his chest and is squeezing his heart hard.

Sometimes it’s like this, that rush of realization that he somehow gets to have this.

That this is his life.

That he gets to come home to Even every day, with them taking care of each other.

Sometimes it just seems too good to be true.

“Ah, you’re home already?” Even says in a loud voice from the kitchen, making sure that   
Isak hears him.

Isak clears his throat to get rid of the lump in his throat and croaks out a “yeah” just as Even pops his head out of the kitchen and looks at him in that way he does. Happy, smiley, relieved that Isak’s home.

Isak swallows hard again. Why do those lumps keep forming?

“Have you been working hard? Are you all muscly now?” Even asks and leaves the kitchen with a spoon in his hand to come closer.

Isak finally closes the front door behind him and lets the bag slide off his shoulder as he croaks out another “yeah.”

It seems to please Even, this tongue-tiedness of his. Because Even’s smile grows, and he takes another step closer.

His voice is much lower when he says, “I figured you were hungry, but you’re home a bit early. It won’t be ready for another 20 minutes or so.”

Isak leans in to kiss Even, puts his hands on his waist.

But Even pulls back all too soon, gestures with the spoon towards the kitchen and takes Isak’s hand from his waist.

“Come help me with the rest?” he asks.

Like Isak would say no to spending time with Even.

So he nods and Even leads him into the kitchen and sits him on the kitchen counter while he finishes cooking.

Best boyfriend ever.

\--||--

Isak eats a bit too much. He’s just really hungry and the food just tastes so good and he’s a growing boy after all, so he allows himself a third portion as well and ignores the way Even side-eyes him teasingly.

He doesn’t say anything, but Isak knows what he’s thinking. Knows that Even knows that being too full is kind of a mood-killer for Isak.

But with what he’s got planned, it doesn’t really matter.

And also, seeing Even look at him like that, full of anticipation and barely contained eagerness, just makes Isak want to go slower.

Tease  _ him  _ a bit.

So Isak offers to do the dishes, takes it nice and slow, makes sure everything is thoroughly cleaned, even dries it and puts it away immediately instead of letting it dry in the rack like he normally would.

He can hear Even moving around in their bedroom, can hear the floorboards creak as he pushes off from the bed to go to the window, to go do something else that Isak can’t discern.

But it doesn’t matter, he knows why Even is bouncing all over the place. And he can’t help the smirk he’s wearing as he finally puts the dish towel away and goes to join Even in their bedroom.

Even is already looking at him as he enters the room, body turned towards him, his full attention on Isak.

Isak stops in the doorway, leans against the frame and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Your last letter,” Even says and swallows hard, adam’s apple bobbing deliciously under the skin of his throat.

Isak nods and takes a step forward into the room.

“I know.”

“Is it going to be a good one?” Even asks, and this time, that teasing edge is back in his voice, a small smile playing on his lips.

Isak shrugs, tries to stay serious, but he knows he’s failing when his lips stretch a bit over his words.

“I think so.”

Even smiles and huffs, puts his hands in his pockets. “You’re kind of killing me with the suspense here.”

“I know.”

And this makes Even laugh out loud. Makes Isak smile as well.

And then there’s silence. Even cocks his head, looks at Isak expectantly, but Isak doesn’t say anything. Kind of likes this stalemate, wants to see who breaks first.

He’s not entirely surprised when Even pulls his hands out of his pocket, makes a wide gesture with his arms and says, “Well?”

Although he likes teasing Even, likes that he wasn’t the first to break, he likes that smile on Even’s face even more and doesn’t want to see it lessen.

So he gives in.

“You can start by taking off your shirt.”

Even raises his eyebrows at Isak, like he’s wondering what’s to come, but after a few long seconds of him just looking at Isak, he finally does.

He’s swift about it, doesn’t linger, doesn’t tease, just pulls it over his head and throws it to the side.

Isak pretends not to notice it on the floor and says, “Now your pants.”

Even keeps looking at him as he opens the button of his jeans, slides down the zipper and works them over his hips. He lifts his leg, pulls them over his foot when Isak adds, “And your socks.”

Before long, he’s standing in front of Isak in just his boxer briefs. 

And Isak’s heart is already beating faster, skin heating up.

It’s ridiculous. Or at least it should be. They live together. He’s seen Even naked so many times by now, seen him in every way of undress, and it still takes his breath away.

The way Even just stands there, unabashedly, back straight and hips cocked, so at ease in his skin and with the way Isak’s eyes slide over all of it.

Isak loves it.

He nods towards Even’s briefs and says, “Those too.” Clears his throat when he notices how rough his voice sounds.

Even smirks as if he noticed too.

But he does what Isak tells him to, pulls them down his legs swiftly, kicks them to the side, and then he’s naked.

Jesus Christ.

Isak will never get enough of seeing Even naked.

He just looks so good, those impossibly long legs, his narrow waist, his chest, and shoulders.

His dick.

He’s half hard, fattening up enough that Isak can’t help but lick his lips and imagine how it would be like to take it into his mouth and feel it harden against his tongue and the roof of his mouth.

It would feel glorious, there’s nothing better than feeling the evidence of how much Even likes what Isak does so clearly.

But Isak stays where he is, lets the moment linger, lets himself enjoy looking at Even like this.

When he’s so naked, and Isak isn’t.

After a few long seconds, Even raises his eyebrows again, smiles that impatient smile that tells Isak that Even’s getting a bit confused about what’s going to happen here.

But Isak just smirks. He doesn’t necessarily want to give it away too soon.

“Put your hands on your throat,” Isak says, watches how Even lifts his hands, but not without a small frown on his face. “Slowly.”

Even’s eyes are burning bright as he slows down, puts them against the long expanse of his throat and keeps them there.

“Slide them down to your chest, slowly.”

And Even does, puts on a bit of a show with it even. Opens his mouth a bit, licks his lips, and slides his hands down all that skin, fingers dancing over every centimeter and Isak wishes it was him touching it instead. He fists his hands by his sides to keep that desire from taking over.

Once Even’s hands reach his nipples, Isak says, “Pinch your nipples for me, make them hard.”

Even pauses, eyes locked on Isak, frown deepening a bit, but he does what Isak instructs him to.

He works them, fingers circling, pinching and flicking them, and Isak has to swallow hard at the knowledge of how much Even enjoys it. He knows how worked up he can make Even just by touching him there, and it’s something else to watch him do it to himself.

Isak watches in rapt fascination as his cheeks start to heat up and his breathing becomes labored.

His dick is almost all the way hard now, and if Isak wanted to, he’s sure that Even could get completely hard just by doing this. And it’s not like Isak’s in a hurry, but his own dick is definitely taking notice and he wants to see Even touch himself.

“Slide them further down,” he says and watches how Even’s fingers linger anyway, how he pinches his nipples once, twice, without showing sign of doing what Isak tells him to.

So Isak has to intervene.

“You have to do what I tell you to,” he says. “I is for instruction.”

That makes Even smile, makes him move his hands away from his nipples and down to his stomach, as he says, “Clever.”

His voice is so low and rough, and it takes everything Isak has not to just go to him and kiss the shit out of him.

Isak licks his lips instead, just to feel something against them, watches how close Even follows that movement with his eyes.

Even spreads his fingers over the skin of his stomach, middle fingers almost touching the root of his dick, and he stays there.

Like he’s waiting for Isak.

Isak pulls out a chair, takes his time as he turns it around, places it so he has a prime view of the bed and sits down.

And then he says, “Lie down.”

Even does, but he doesn’t just walk, he struts the few steps to the bed, puts his knee on it, flexes the muscles of his ass to show off. It should be a bit funny, it should ease the tension in the room.

It doesn’t.

It can’t, not when Even’s ass looks so good, not when Isak’s hands are itching to feel that muscle move under his skin. When he’s dying to taste.

Even continues lying down, continues making a show of it, makes sure that Isak sees everything he’s not touching as he does.

By the time he’s lying on the bed on his back, looking expectantly at Isak, Isak is panting, his dick tenting his pants.

He clears his throat again, needs to make it seem like he’s on top of this.

“Spread your legs.”

Even follows instructions so beautifully, pushes his legs apart, and it just emphasizes how hard he is, how amazing his dick looks hard on his stomach, pulsing with every breath he takes.

Isak is going to make it  _ leak _ .

“Put your hands on your legs,” Isak pauses to watch Even do it. “Slowly slide your hands up your thighs, up to your hips, and stop there.”

Even does but in his own way. Instead of using his entire hand, he lifts them until it’s only the pads of his fingers touching his skin, and then he slowly moves them up, pauses to paint circles into his skin and the way he’s looking at Isak with half-lidded eyes and wet lips makes Isak think that this is just as good for Even as it is for Isak.

Isak could look at him all day. This is better than porn by far. Even paints a perfect picture lying there, putting himself on display like that, showing himself off to Isak.

Isak stops talking, lets Even caress himself, enjoys the show that Even is clearly putting on for him.

Even stops his fingers at the hips, takes a deep breath, then another, and then with a gleam in his eyes, he slides them up, slowly, so slowly at first, like he’s silently asking permission. When Isak keeps quiet, he finally picks up speed until they’re at his nipples again, pinching and playing.

This causes the first moan and Isak fights his own, fights how his hands want to rub his dick through his pants, just to get some kind of friction on it. He’s so hard already. And Even hasn’t even started touching his own dick yet.

This is so much better than he imagined it would be.

“Touch your mouth,” Isak says and almost doesn’t recognize his own voice from how needy it sounds.

Even’s eyes widen a bit, but he moves one of his hands off his nipples to put them on his lips. First, he just rubs along the fullness of them, two fingers sliding over the top lip and then the bottom. But then he opens his mouth, just enough that there’s room, and nips at them with his teeth, before he closes his lips around them to suck them into his mouth. Cheeks hollowing, eyes closing. He moans around them and Isak’s dick twitches and he squirms on his chair. It’s almost impossible not to move closer, not to put his hands on Even.

Even moves them slowly out of his mouth until just the tips are inside. They’re wet and shiny and makes his lips wet and shiny too as they move over them, and then he sucks them back in, further and further inside until he makes a gagging sound, and it’s the hottest thing Isak has ever seen and heard.

Isak’s sweating, and he can’t keep the sounds in anymore, can’t help the moan that escapes him from the sight Even makes. 

He tears his eyes away from the riveting sight of his mouth, glances at Even’s dick instead, and it’s started to leak. A long string of precum connecting his dick with his stomach and Isak mouth floods with saliva. He can almost taste its bitterness on his tongue.

He wants to touch it. He really, really wants to touch it.

He wants to taste it. Wants to run his tongue along the length of it, push the foreskin back and lick the wetness there away.

“Touch it,” he whispers, eyes locked on Even’s dick so intently it’s impossible to miss how it twitches at his words. “Touch yourself.”

Even keeps his fingers in his mouth but immediately wraps his other hand around his dick, tugs at it once, twice but then loosens the grip.

Isak can see that he’s about to test him again, about to challenge what he told him to do, so he straightens in the chair, pretends that he’s still on top of things.

“Pull your fingers out of your mouth and put them on your ass.”

He heats up as he says those words, it doesn’t matter how much he wants to see it, it’s still somewhat of a challenge to be able to say them out loud. This kind of talk doesn’t come naturally to Isak, so he pushes each word out of his mouth, forces himself to make it sound confident.

But this is what the letter’s all about, and maybe this isn’t just for Even, maybe this is just as much for him as well.

So he continues, ignores the redness of his face and the tremble in his voice, and hopes that Even does the same.

“Don’t push in yet, just make your hole wet with them.”

Even makes a strangled sound, mouth slack, eyes glassy, like he’s getting off on hearing Isak talk like that, and immediately does what Isak says.

He starts circling his rim and from where Isak’s sitting, he can see everything.

He follows every movement Even makes, watches how the circles become smaller and smaller, how easy it is to see how desperately Even wants to push in. It doesn’t take him long before he’s just rubbing his rim, pulling at it with every pass and he’s making these soft sounds that Isak eats up, that makes him feel on top of the world.

It might not be his fingers, but he’s definitely the one doing this to Even.

Isak gives in to the urge, rubs his dick through his pants a few times, just to ease the tension a bit, and then he takes a deep breath to steel himself before he gets up from the chair.

Even is watching him the entire way as he moves to the dresser next to the bed, opens one of the drawers to get their lube. He doesn’t look back at Even, pretends that he’s otherwise focused when in fact, his entire body is homed in on every small movement Even’s making.

He doesn’t bother to close the drawer, knows there’s something in there that he might have use for later, before he takes a few steps down the length of the bed.

He stands there, looks at Even, looks between his spread legs at his fingers that are still rubbing his hole. How he hasn’t even paused for the interruption that Isak is making.

“Pull your legs up,” Isak says, almost surprised by how steady his voice sounds. He feels like a wreck on the inside, but he’s really pleased that that doesn’t translate to how he appears on the outside.

He watches as Even does, watches how Even swallows hard as he pulls his legs to his chest, watches how his knuckles turn almost white with how hard he’s holding onto them.

“Relax,” Isak whispers, runs a hand appreciatively along Even’s thigh. “You’re going to be here for a while.”

The change in him is immediate, how he sort of melts into the mattress. His eyes are still locked on his. Isak almost can’t stand looking at Even like this, still feels a bit shy and out of place having to use his words like this, so he puts all his attention on Even’s hole instead. Huffs when it winks at him, almost impatiently.

He opens the lube, feels the anticipatory shiver as the click of the lube disturbs the silence of the room and pours a good dollop on his fingers.

He’s supposed to make Even do this, that had been the plan. He was supposed to just look and let Even do all the work. But he can’t stay away anymore. He has to touch, has to see how tight Even feels inside.

So without any hesitation, he puts his fingers on Even’s hole and pushes in.

The sound Even makes as he does is enough to make Isak put his hand on his dick. He needs some kind of outlet for how hot he feels all over, how affected Even apparently is by what he’s doing. Even spreads his legs more, and Isak watches in fascination how Even’s rim just opens for him, lets him in, squeezes him and relaxes around him as he pushes in and in and in.

It’s such a sight.

It never ceases to amaze Isak how such a small hole can make so much room for him. It looks impossible, even feels impossible at times, so tight and warm and small, but he always fits. Even always makes room for him there somehow, trusts him enough to just open up and enjoy what Isak has in mind for him.

Isak shouldn’t get mushy from fingering his boyfriend, it somehow doesn’t seem quite the thing to do, but here he is. He diverts his eyes from that mouthwatering sight of his fingers sliding in and out of Even to look at Even’s face.

His eyes are closed, his hair sticking to his forehead, quiff completely destroyed, but he looks so good. That sheen of sweat that covers his skin just makes him glow, makes him so inviting to kiss and touch and love that Isak can barely stay away.

But he does, keeps his wrist in this odd angle, working Even’s hole until the sounds pouring from Even make him grit his teeth and breathe hard through his nose.

Jesus.  _ Jesus _ . He never knew it was possible to get this turned on from sounds alone. But it seems like there’s nothing about Even that’s not capable of turning him on. Even when Even isn’t really trying, apparently. He’s just lying there, accepts the pleasure Isak is giving him, gives himself over to it.

And Isak wants to do good by Even, wants him to feel as perfect as he makes Isak feel.

So without further warning, he pulls his fingers out, kisses Even’s knee gently to appease the whine that escapes him and goes back to the dresser.

He knows just what to look for, just what to choose as he looks in the drawer again.

And when he pulls it out, Even’s eyes go big, his flush deepens, and he turns that bright smile on Isak.

“Yeah,” he says. Doesn’t need to say more because Isak knows what he means, knows just how he’s picturing this to go.

Isak opens the lube again, pours a good amount over the toy he’s holding and then he passes it on to Even.

“Here, you’re up now.”

Even doesn’t hesitate to pick it up, wraps his fingers around the base and immediately puts it to his hole.

But then he pauses, looks at Isak as if he’s silently asking for permission.

And Isak flushes all over, small shivers running over his skin, sensitizing him, making his hair rise everywhere.

He likes that. He really likes that, that Even asks him for permission and doesn’t just take it for granted that he can go ahead.

Isak’s dick is almost hurting in his pants now. He knows he’s leaking too, feels it pulsing and begging for attention. He wants to tell Even to push the toy in, wants to tease him until he’s positively dripping with precum, but instead, he opens his pants with the hand that’s not wet with lube, pushes his pants down and pulls at his briefs until they give room and he’s finally able to free his dick.

It’s glorious. To not have it be restrained by his pants, to be able to wrap the lubed hand around it and he moans at the pressure. He tugs on it once, then again, just to alleviate some of the tension collected there and he already feels the tingle in his balls, feels the way his knees turn weak, probably not helped by the strenuous exercise he just did, and he’s much closer than he expected to be already.

He’s normally proud of his stamina, proud of how he can last when he needs to, but it seems watching Even like this is turning him into the teenager he is.

“Okay,” Isak says and nods at the vibrator. “Go ahead.”

He’s breathing through his mouth now, feels how it dries up as he watches Even push the toy in, watches the shivers that run through his thighs, watches his ass accommodate and give in to the pressure. Even makes a strangled sound in his throat as it breaches him, moans long and deep as it pushes inside of him, fills him up.

Isak can’t breathe. Sweat breaks out everywhere on his skin at once and he feels so hot standing there, still dressed. But he can’t move, can’t focus on anything but the sight of that toy disappearing into Even.

And when it’s lodged deep inside, Even pauses again. Opens his eyes and looks at Isak expectantly.

Isak is standing there by the bed, feels out of place almost with how much he wants to be the one to make that toy move, but instead, he continues what he started.

“Fuck yourself with it.”

And Even does.

Isak watches, mouth dry and he’s still flushed from speaking like this, but he’s not going back now.

“Don’t turn it on yet, I want to see you like this,” he adds.

Even’s eyes slide shut, head pushing back into the pillow under him, mouth open and wet and so goddamn inviting that Isak’s entire body is protesting the distance between them.

Fuck. 

Even is such a sight like this, his long legs bent and pushed aside, the flush of his cheeks starting to spread down his chest, reaching as far as his nipples now. His nipples hard and red and Isak knows what it would be like to lean in and lick them, to bite at them until Even makes that sound, the one that in turn always makes Isak’s toes curl and his fingers tighten.

He really wants to hear that sound, wants to hear Even lose it.

So he watches as Even fucks himself with the toy a bit longer, just until he can barely stand it himself, and then he says, “Turn it on.”

Even starts on the low setting. Isak knows how sensitive he is, how careful. Too careful. He knows he enjoys the slow rise of the vibrator when they have time, but this isn’t about that. They’ve never done this before, and maybe Even will say stop and ask to turn it down. But maybe, just maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll learn something about himself too.

“Higher,” Isak says in a steady voice, tilts his head back until his gaze becomes challenging.

And Even looks at him for a few long seconds, licks his lips. And then turns the vibrator on higher.

The effect is immediate. He makes this wet sound from somewhere deep inside of him, stomach muscles fluttering, breathing becoming even more labored and where he before looked a little bit relaxed, just giving in to the pleasure, he’s all tension now.

The tendons in his throat are tight as he clenches his eyes shut, his mouth working around soundless words that Isak can only imagine. He wants to hear, needs to hear, but he doesn’t think Even has it in him right now.

So he doesn’t ask it of him.

Even’s hand slips on the vibrator, but he’s back on it right away, twists and turns it inside himself instead of thrusting it inside. He must have found a good spot, a good angle. He tilts his hips, swirls them a bit, works his hole on the vibrator and the sound the toy makes as he does, the buzzing that grows louder and louder as Even twists it, is turning Isak on beyond belief.

He clenches around thin air, wants to try, wants to feel it himself.

But instead of acting on that impulse, he says it again. 

“Higher.”

Even whimpers, turns his head to the side as his other hand scrambles to the base to push the button on the control at the base.

And the buzzing grows louder.

Isak can’t breathe, can’t function, can’t hear anything but that loud buzzing. Can’t see anything but how Even is just holding it still now, lodged deep inside of him, probably feeling the vibrations everywhere in that whole area now.

He can see the skin move, see everything shake with the vibrations. And Isak wants to put his hand on it, wants to feel for himself how hard the toy is vibrating inside of Even.

Even seems lost to it, seems like he can barely take what’s going on. But he doesn’t say stop, doesn’t pull it out. His hand is holding onto it tight, knuckles white and he’s shaking and sweating, making sounds that Isak can feel in his soul, and it’s the hottest thing Isak has ever seen.

Watching Even come apart like that.

Even’s dick is twitching, a continuous string of precum connecting his dick and stomach, collecting in a pool on his stomach. Every muscle in his body is tight, tense and ready and Isak wants to lick him everywhere. Wants to see if his sweat somehow tastes like pleasure, different than how it normally tastes.

He’s irresistible like this.

Even’s head is restless on the pillow, moving from side to other. His body twitches, and after a long  _ ahhh _ that almost sounds pulled from him, he starts begging.

“Let me touch myself, please. I can’t… It’s so…” and he licks his lips, and starts over, seemingly fighting his muddled mind to say the words that will allow Isak to let him touch himself.

And Isak isn’t mean, doesn’t want him to suffer or to beg, really, so he nods, belatedly remembers that Even can’t see him, before he says, “Yeah. Touch yourself, baby. Let me see you touch your dick.”

Isak has barely uttered the words before Even’s free hand flies to his dick. There’s no teasing, no drawing it out, he pulls at it hard and tight, hand flying over the length of it with no finesse, just a goal. His toes curls around thin air and Isak watches the muscles in his arm work, watches his bicep tighten and moans at how delicious he looks. And his own hand mimics the movement Even is making, moves faster and tighter, creating the perfect channel to fuck into.

He doesn’t expect it to take long for Even, he seems so far ahead, so lost to it, and he’s working his dick so hard that he knows that he’s about to explode, but he’s still surprised by how fast it ends up being.

Even erupts, mouth open on a wordless scream, body tense and hand big and pretty around his dick as he starts to shoot. He keeps working it, rope after rope of cum landing on his chest, on his stomach, over his hand, pushing himself more and more, continuing until there’s no more to give.

And still, the vibrator buzzes away in his ass. 

Even starts squirming, rolls his hips as if he can’t decide whether to get away from it or push closer, and watching that fight makes Isak focus on his own dick even more.

The roar of blood in his ears is so loud that it’s almost blocking the sound of the buzzing, and he watches as Even pulls it out with a whine, watches how open Even’s hole is, how it twitches from the emptiness and he wants to fill it. Wants to plug Even and keep him open and wet and  _ ready _ . 

Without thinking about it, he puts his knee on the bed, and then the other, shuffles forward towards Even, pushing Even’s limp legs aside as he does. He didn’t even notice Even’s legs flopping down, and he’s lying there, breathing, looking at Isak with glassy eyes, sweaty and so perfect that Isak can barely stand it. He pushes at Even, makes him turn over on his stomach and he goes easily, doesn’t really put up a fight in his post-orgasmic haze.

And then Isak lets go of his dick, puts his hands on Even’s ass and pulls the cheeks apart so he can look at that hole, watches it glisten and twitch, luring with how open he knows it’s going to be by now.

He leans in until he can put the tip of his dick against that inviting hole, and he just pushes the tip in, just breaches Even, not even pushing his head past the rim, notices distantly how Even tenses briefly before he relaxes again. He puts a hand on Isak’s thigh, and Isak knows what that hand means, it means go ahead, don’t stop. So he doesn’t. He starts stroking himself for real, giving in and letting himself go.

He’s going to fill Even up, going to make sure he’s dripping for days, just wants to mark him and make him remember how good he made Isak feel.

It’s with that thought in mind that he feels his balls pull up tight, and he concentrates on keeping his grip tight on his dick and holding it in place, making sure that he spills inside Even, that he doesn’t push into that tight, slick heat, even though he wants to, he really, really wants to. But Even is lying under him, pliant and perfect, looking at him with those trusting eyes and he can’t do that. He doesn’t want to ruin it, doesn’t want to make this night be about something else than how good he made Even feel with his words and instructions.

He puts a soothing hand on Even’s back, runs it over the smooth, wet skin, feels Even’s hand tighten on his thigh.

“Do it, come on, fill me up, baby.”

Those words coupled with everything else that’s been going on just throw him over the ledge, no further warning, no nothing, just him holding his breath, dick exploding with sensation and pleasure, and the first rope of cum almost takes him by surprise.

He uses the hand on Even’s back to keep his balance, putting more and more weight on it as he fights to keep from pushing his dick in too far inside of Even, feels the orgasm flushing over him, taking him over, making him weak and useless. He remotely hears the sounds he’s making, knows he would normally be ashamed of how he sounds, but right now he couldn’t care less. He just lets himself feel it, empties himself inside Even, and everything feels so good. He feels liquid and warm, euphoric even as he shoots and shoots, until there’s nothing more to give.

He keeps stroking himself even though there’s nothing left, doesn’t want to let go of this feeling, doesn’t want the shivers to stop, wants to stay exactly like this forever. But in the end, he starts to become overly sensitive, his strokes moves into the territory of not so pleasant, so he stops.

He stays there, legs spread over Even’s, breathing heavily, eyes drooping as he tries to collect himself. He wants to collapse on top of Even, wants to bury his nose in his neck, breathe him in, feel the heat of his body against his.

But instead, he pulls out slowly, watches Even’s rim react to him retreating, listens to the sounds Even makes as he does, and when the head finally pops out, he watches in fascination as Even’s rim twitches, closes around air as it tries to accommodate the sudden emptiness.

And Isak wants to go again, wants to do it all over. Wants to fuck Even so badly that he almost can’t contain the wave of want that floods him, and he’s cursing his inability to go again so soon.

Instead, he gives in to the fatigue in his body, finally collapses on top of Even and takes a deep breath as he does. He kisses the ball of Even’s shoulder lazily and puts his arms under him so he can hug him tight.

“Mmmm,” he sighs contentedly and Even makes a responding sound, very similar to Isak’s.

This is good, this is always so good. Lying here with Even, spent and happy. Feeling close. Isak has learned to treasure this, to really savor it, as it always makes him feel so connected to Even.

He knows he’s heavy lying here on top of Even, but Even lets him stay there patiently. Waits a few long minutes until he starts to squirm and Isak slides off him, to the side, waits until Even turns on his side too, before he moves in as close as he can get without lying on top of him again.

Even is still so naked.

The only part of Isak that’s naked is his dick. Lying flaccid and spent, dripping onto the duvet, but Isak doesn’t care about that right now. He only cares about this, about the way Even looks at him, cheeks flushed, eyes bright and so full of tenderness and love that Isak feels like he could burst from it.

“That was really good,” Even whispers into the small space between them. Isak smiles and nods, runs his hand through Even’s hair, pushing it off his forehead. “I like you giving orders apparently.”

And they both laugh quietly, softly to maintain their bubble.

“I really like looking at you,” Isak says. He can’t get himself to say more words, doesn’t add  _ when you touch yourself  _ or  _ with a vibrator _ , but he doesn’t have to. The way Even raises his eyebrows and smiles at him makes it really obvious that he knows and understands exactly what Isak is saying.

He leans in and kisses Even instead of saying anything else, a lingering kiss, full of other kinds of words, soft and slow, lingering. And Even responds to him perfectly, follows his lead and lets Isak kiss him like that.

“I really like  _ you _ ,” Isak whispers as they finally pull apart and it makes Even smile all over again.

“Good. Because I really like you too,” he says, voice full of humor, and even though this is very tame compared to what other words they’ve put on their feelings, it doesn’t feel like that.

Even isn’t the only one who knows to hear the words that stay silent.

Looking into Even’s eyes, touching his hair, lying so close that he can feel the heat of his body, smell how he smells like sex and cum and  _ them _ , it all adds up.

They really don’t have to use more words than that. Not all the time.

Because Isak knows.

He  _ knows _ .

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I is for instruction.
> 
> I'm not gonna mention or whine about this being the SECOND TO LAST chapter, nope, na-ah, not gonna do it. I'm not gonna talk about how I'm already feeling all over the place about AA ending soon. BUT I am going to say how thankful I am that you guys are still reading after almost a year. That you still talk to me about AA on my tumblr, and leave comments and kudos here. You guys are AWESOME and make this so much fun for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3
> 
> I'll try to make the last chapter a real good one, so we can finish with a bang. ;)


	26. C

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Last one? Omg. Last one. LAST ONE!!! :O You guys, I’m all over the place, what a ride this has been!
> 
> Maugurt worked her magic with this for the last time (I cry), and made it so much better. <3 And Vesperthine gave me the idea for the first part waaaaay back in the day. Thank you, bb. :)
> 
> As always you can find what the letter is about in the endnotes (along with all my thank you’s xD).
> 
> So without further ado - for the very last time - I hope you guys enjoy! :D

They’re eating breakfast, sitting by their table and crunching away on crispbread. They’re up early enough that they don’t have to rush like crazy and it’s nice not being so busy for once.

“It’s weird not having to draw a letter,” Even says between bites.

Isak nods, finishes chewing before he answers, “Yeah. Not having that little bit of morning excitement.”

Even smiles at him. “Do you have any plans for Saturday?”

Isak takes a sip of his coffee and shakes his head. “No. Jonas was talking about the skate park, but I don’t have to go.”

“I don’t have work on Saturday. And I want to spend the day with you.”

Isak leans back in his chair. “Are you breaking more rules now? It’s Tuesday today.”

Even laughs and looks at Isak with bright eyes. “I guess I am.”

“You know we put the rules up on the fridge for a reason, Even,” Isak teases and watches as Even’s eyebrows go up.

“Are you accusing me of being a cheater?” he says incredulously, hand on his chest, a teasing tilt to his smile.

Isak shrugs, pretends he’s not fighting a smile. “Or at least a rule-bender. You only have three days to do the letter from now, babe. That’s the rule.”

Even huffs and takes a sip of his coffee, still smiling. His foot finds Isak’s under the table and within seconds, they’re tangled up. 

“I want to wait until Saturday anyway. I want to take my time with you.”

Isak’s mouth turns dry and he clears his throat, squirms a bit on the chair and watches as Even’s eyes turn seductive. He knows what he’s doing to Isak.

“Well, okay. Then I’ll let you break the rules. But just this once,” he says, finger pointing at Even in warning. “Don’t you go make a habit of it.”

Even laughs again and leans back in his chair, his big toe caressing Isak’s ankle under the table. “I’m sure you won’t let me, baby.”

“I’ll definitely do my best to keep you in check.”

Isak says this but knows that with the way Even is smiling at him, he would probably let him get away with almost anything.

Especially something like this.

\--||--

Slick.

Lips sliding against each other.

Soft moans.

Heat.

Isak is lost to it, his head swimming with how close they are, how sore his lips are getting from kissing this much. He can’t remember the last time they took the time to do just this, just kissing, just feeling Even’s weight on top of him, pushing him down into the mattress. 

Fitting perfectly.

Isak is heating up from within, spreads his legs a bit more, slides his hands over Even’s shoulders, down to the small of his back, slipping his fingers under the edge of his t-shirt.

He’s hard, so hard, leaking in his briefs, but they’re still in their night clothes. Hasn’t made any moves to get naked or move on.

It’s just about this. Lying here with Even like this.

It almost feels like Even’s worshipping him with his mouth and his tongue. There’s something about the sounds he makes as he tilts his head differently, finds a new way to kiss Isak.

Isak loves it. 

Could stay like this forever, just breathing him in, the taste of him on his tongue, in his mouth, the only taste that exists in the world right now.

In the back of his mind, Isak knows that Even’s hard too. But he keeps his distance, makes sure that their dicks aren’t touching, that his hips aren’t rubbing against Even at all. 

The tension between them is slowly building. It’s still in that phase of Isak not really knowing whether more is gonna come from this or if it’s just gonna be this. 

He’s completely fine with both.

There’s just something about this, about not having a goal, about not pushing towards the finish line. Just them being together like this. It’s intimate in a way that Isak has never experienced before Even. And that he can’t imagine having with anybody else.

Even pulls back a bit, just enough that their lips aren’t touching anymore. His tongue runs along the seams of Isak’s lips, follows the curve of his upper lip and Isak clenches his eyes from how overwhelming that feels. That Even’s paying attention to that. It’s amazing how Even appreciates the things that Isak hates the most about himself.

Even hums appreciatively, like Isak is the best thing he’s ever tasted, the best thing he’s ever had his tongue on, and it sends a sharp pang of arousal down Isak’s spine, adds to the pyre building inside of him.

Makes it harder not to set it on fire. 

His hips make an aborted move, still trying to hold back, but it causes his dick to rub against Even’s thigh, just a short graze, but it’s enough to make Isak feel like he’s being pushed into the zone of definitely more, that there’s no going back for him now.

“Even,” he moans into Even’s mouth, swallows hard at how Even shudders at his voice, how he releases his lips to move down his jaw, his throat, to mouth at the skin behind his ear.

He’s so sensitive there, and it’s all he can do not to pull Even down, to grind and get some friction against his dick. He tries to speed it up, fists Even’s t-shirt to have something to hold onto, but Even resists.

“Shhh,” he whispers right into Isak’s ear. “We’re not in a hurry. We have all the time in the world.”

Isak whines, high in this throat, swallows hard a couple of times as he fights the desperation crawling under his skin, tries to get it back under control.

Somehow, he manages, after a few long seconds it becomes easier to breathe, his body holds a little bit less tension.

And he goes back to just kissing Even again. Although, this time, he’s not quite as relaxed about it.

He loses track of time. There’s nothing in the world but Even, but their bed, but right here and now. His lips are sore, feels used and puffy, and his jaw is getting stiff, but Even just keeps kissing him.

Isak almost feels high.

Liquid.

His body melts into the mattress like he’s doomed to spend eternity there. Like this. Kissing Even. Stuck in their bed.

Nothing wrong with that.

The tension from earlier has dissolved into something heavier, something buzzing under his skin, curling his fingers against Even’s t-shirt, making the hair on his body stand on end.

He’s swimming in it, completely submerged in all this bliss.

Even’s finally on top of him, is pushing him even further into the mattress with his weight, their hips languidly rolling against each other.

Isak is so hard, so goddamn hard, his briefs must be soaked by now, but it’s not a pressing urge, he doesn’t have to get off this moment.

But. He’s still hard. Still want to get off at some point. Preferably within the next foreseeable future.

And just as he has that thought, Even pushes a hand under Isak’s t-shirt and runs a slow path up his side, up his chest, pushes the t-shirt with him as he goes.

The newly exposed skin breaks out in goosebumps, but at this point, it’s impossible for Isak to know whether it’s the cold air in the room or the fact that Even is finally touching him that’s the reason for it.

Even leans up a bit, pushes at Isak’s t-shirt until Isak gets the idea and lifts up to help Even get it off. As soon as it hits the floor, Even is on him, kissing his clavicle, down his chest, until he reaches his nipples.

Even lingers there, kisses them until they’re hard, until they’re shiny with spit and Isak shivers as the cool air hits the spit left there. Even bites gently at one of them, and Isak lifts his head to see, to watch Even and those lips kiss him, and Even is a sight.

His eyes are closed, his lips so red and big, and there’s no doubt from the look on his face that he enjoys what he’s doing. Enjoys doing just this, bringing Isak pleasure. That he gets his own pleasure out of watching Isak squirm under him.

It never ceases to amaze Isak. That he gets to have this, that he’s lucky enough that he has someone in his life who gets off on treating Isak right.

But his mind stops working when Even kisses down his body slowly, but he doesn’t linger anywhere else until he reaches Isak’s briefs.

Isak is panting by now, chest rising and falling rapidly, lungs restricted from having Even so close to his dick.

And Even doesn’t disappoint. In a move so different from how he’s acted until now, he bypasses the teasing and the slowness and moves straight to that wet spot on Isak’s briefs.  He puts his mouth on it and starts to suck. Like he’s trying to get all that precum out of the fabric, even moans at the taste.

The suction can be felt everywhere in Isak’s body, the pressure of Even’s mouth makes his toes curl and his hands fly to Even’s hair to keep him there.

Although, Isak really wants to have him even closer, to have nothing between them. Just Even and that mouth on his dick.

He really, really wants that mouth on his dick.

Even opens his eyes to look up at Isak, eyes blown and so full of lust that it steals Isak’s breath away, and he takes more of Isak’s briefs into his mouth, wettens the fabric over Isak’s dick even more and it’s glorious. All that heat, the promise of pressure and heat and suction that Even provides through the fabric is enough to make Isak pull Even closer by his hair, push his head down until Even huffs with laughter.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” he says, voice shaking with amusement, and Isak tries to smile back, but the smile feels foreign on his face. Out of place.

But Even’s own smile softens when he sees it, and then he finally curls his fingers around the elastic of Isak’s briefs and pulls them down. Isak eagerly lifts his hips, helps him as much as he can. He watches in rapt fascination as Even quickly diverts himself of his own clothes so that when he returns to Isak, he’s naked too.

Even settles against him, ignores Isak’s dick and goes straight for his mouth and all that skin on skin contact makes Isak moan. Makes him open his lips to eagerly search for Even’s tongue. Makes him spread his legs wide to accommodate Even’s hips between his thighs.

He’s right where he should be, right where Isak wants him the most.

Isak doesn’t care about his bruised lips or his too-sensitive tongue, he welcomes Even back in his mouth, lets his tongue and hands explore.

The slight rasp of stubble against his chin, against his lips and cheeks, is almost enough to drive him crazy. The size of Even’s hand as it wraps around his jaw sets Isak on fire. All these small reminders of how undeniably male Even is, right here, under Isak’s hands, against his body.

It’s perfect.

The long, hard line of Even’s dick presses against the skin of Isak’s pelvis, almost painful in how hard it’s rubbing against him, Even finally getting as close as he can. But it’s a good pain, the kind Isak doesn’t mind. Really doesn’t mind. He’ll bear that pain with pride anytime.

He even enjoys it, likes the soreness that lingers under his skin after they’ve been going at it for a while, likes how Even’s dick forces him to give way where it wants to fit. Sometimes it’s the best kind of reminder, that soreness. Like a bruise you can’t help but pick at because the pain is too good not to.

Even rolls his hips against Isak and instead of letting Even’s dick get him sore in that good way, he tilts his hips, times it with the next roll of Even’s hips so his dick slides under instead of over.

And it’s an easy slide with how wet Even’s dick is, down Isak’s balls, down his perineum, over his rim.

It adds to the fire inside of Isak, makes him choke on air and pull Even closer.

“Yeah?” Even asks, voice rough and deliciously low. Rolls his hips again until his dick catches on Isak’s rim.

Isak nods eagerly, no hesitation, no nothing. Just this urge to get Even closer, to get more of him, as much as he can. “Yeah,” he answers.

Even reaches over and pulls the lube out from under his pillow, making Isak think he planned for this. He only takes his eyes off Isak to pour some in his hand, and then he gives Isak another lingering kiss, takes his time with it, like he’s not about to move on to more interesting things. 

Isak hums into the kiss, lets his body relax, pulls the desperation back until it’s just simmering under his skin again. It’s clear that Even was serious about taking his time with this, so there’s no reason for Isak to get ahead of him.

And when Even starts kissing down his throat, kisses another lingering path down his chest, down to his stomach, Isak melts back into the bed and tries to steel himself against how patiently Even is about to take him apart.

Isak knows how much Even loves that, loves being slow and methodical, watching Isak grow desperate from what he’s doing to him. It’s no secret that Isak enjoys it as well. And even though it’s been a while, he can’t help the surge of anticipation that runs through him. 

Even’s just so good at it.

He kisses past Isak’s dick, ignoring it as it grazes his cheek, and Isak can’t keep in the sound that escapes him as the sensitive glans rubs against Even’s stubble. It’s such a delicate ache, falls easily within the realm of good pain, just makes him more sensitive than he was before. 

Even kisses the place where thigh turns to hip and then turns his head and kisses the side of Isak’s dick, just a gentle press of the lips, more appreciatively than lustful. And then there are fingers at Isak’s hole, slow, wet fingers, running up and down, getting him wet and ready. 

The first one is a lazy slide in, like Even has all the time in the world for this, like nothing else matters. He stops at the second knuckle, turns his hand over and then starts to pull back. 

Isak could easily take more, could definitely take two to start with, but he lets Even take his time, lets him draw it out. He understands what Even is doing.

Isak hums appreciatively when Even starts pushing in again, and he can hear and feel how it makes Even smile against the skin on his thigh.

“I’ve missed doing this to you,” Even whispers, voice just loud enough for Isak to be able to hear him. “I’ve missed the sounds you make when I take my time with you.”

Isak lifts his head, has to see Even, even though he has a pretty good idea of what his face is doing, how soft his eyes will be as he looks back at him. And he’s not wrong, not this time either. But he never gets tired of seeing it, can’t imagine that there’ll ever be a time when Even looking at him like that, all tender and careful and patient, won’t make his heart beat faster and his chest tighten. 

“Me too,” he whispers back and catches Even’s eye. Tries to tell Even with that look how much he really means it.

He lifts his hand to touch Even’s hair. Not to grip it hard, like he’s been doing lately, but to stroke it, lift it off his forehead. He keeps his hands there as Even starts to smile even wider and then he opens his mouth and puts it on the inside of Isak’s thigh, right where he’s most sensitive and leaves wet open-mouthed kisses behind while he curls his finger inside Isak.

It’s just a finger, just one, but it’s enough to make Isak lose all strength in his body, make him melt down into the mattress with how good it feels. He loves the way Even plays his body, knows all the places that make Isak feel the most.

He kisses up Isak’s thigh, takes his time with it, noses at Isak’s balls. He exhales roughly against the sensitive skin there and Isak closes his eyes, whines low with anticipation. And then he opens his mouth against the side of Isak’s dick, slowly moving up the length of it and the heat and wetness of it make Isak’s toes curl against the duvet. 

“Mmm, look at you,” Even whispers against the tip of Isak’s dick, making shivers run all over Isak’s skin. Like every nerve in his body is honed in on Even’s mouth, on what Even’s doing to him. “You’re so wet for me.”

Isak clenches his eyes shut because he knows what’s about to happen. And he only just has time to brace himself before Even’s tongue licks over his head, tastes the precum coating it, and Isak moans. Loudly. Fists his hands in the sheet under him.

Even moans too, like the taste of Isak’s precum is the best thing he’s ever tasted, the peak of every flavor in existence.

And Isak loves it, loves everything about this. Loves how much Even enjoys him. Enjoys his reactions to him.

“Even,” he sighs, loves how his name fits in his mouth, how his tongue and lips curls around it. 

Even doesn’t answer, just proceeds to take the head into his mouth, wrap his lips and tongue around it before he sucks lightly.

Isak is almost too distracted by having his dick engulfed in all that heat that he just barely recognizes when Even adds another finger in his ass as he takes Isak in further.

He’s not deepthroating him or making a show of it. He’s just playing his tongue along the length of Isak’s dick, keeping it in his mouth, moaning around it like this is exactly what he wanted to do.

The low hum emanating from Even makes Isak’s mouth slack and he tightens a hand in Even’s hair, holding on a bit harder than before. 

Even proceeds to give Isak the slowest blowjob ever, wet and sloppy, Isak’s precum mixing with the copious amounts of spit running down the length of him, dripping down his balls, running over his perineum. It keeps Isak on his toes, just enough to keep him rock-hard and ready, but not enough to make him eager and desperate.

Although Isak’s jaw would’ve made him stop by now, Even just keeps going. Like he doesn’t feel any discomfort, like there’s only pleasure in this for him. 

And it’s not like Isak’s complaining.

Even’s fingers keep working into him, setting a steady pace that’s almost enough to work Isak into a trance, except how they alternate to rub his prostate from time to time in a rhythm he can’t figure out.

When Even releases Isak’s dick and starts kissing his way up Isak’s torso, he leaves a wet trail of spit behind, rapidly cooling in the air, reminding Isak that he’s naked in a relatively cold room.

But it’s the only place he feels it.

He’s hot everywhere else, sweat starting to collect on his brows, in the dip of his throat, over his chest. Even licks it off his nipples before he continues up, and Isak bares his throat to him, gives him everything he wants without having to ask for it.

Even licks over his adam’s apple and then continues up, bites gently at Isak’s chin until he gets a soft chuckle from Isak and Isak dips it to catch Even’s lips with his own.

Like it’s far away, Isak can hear the slick sound of lube against skin, can feel Even’s hand working, getting his dick wet and ready for Isak, but Isak isn’t really paying attention to that. He’s much more preoccupied with Even’s lips against his, the way he tastes like him when he pushes his tongue into his mouth.

It’s one of his favorite things, how their tastes intermingle, changes into something else. Something discernable still Isak and Even, but with something else there, something that only comes from when they mix.

Isak puts his hands in Even’s hair, tilts his head to be able to deepen the kiss, and Even just opens for him.

He settles on top of Isak and Isak spreads his legs for him, tilts his hips again, making room as he waits for what he knows comes next. 

He continues to lose himself in the kiss, makes it last, makes it good as Even positions himself and the tip of his dick nudges against Isak’s hole.

It’s an easy breech, Even slides right in, slow and perfect and so right that Isak moans into Even’s mouth, tilts his hips up even further to get more of Even inside of him.

Everything is quiet around them. Isak can’t hear anything but the sounds they’re making, the soft squelch of lube as Even bottoms out and Isak exhales and wills his body to relax around the intrusion. Loves how his body makes room for Even, gives into what he’s giving him.

He wants more, he wants  _ everything _ .  

“Look at me,” Even whispers against his mouth. So Isak opens his eyes.

What he sees there takes his breath away. Even’s eyes bore into his, intense and passionate. So, so close, but Isak still wants him closer. Wants him to stay there forever and look at him like that. 

Like he’s everything to Even. Everything he’ll ever need and want.

It makes Isak’s heart beat faster in his chest, makes something warm unfurl in his stomach, spreading throughout his entire body until it feels like he’ll drown in it if Even doesn’t start moving.

He tilts his chin up, asks for a kiss in that silent way that he does sometimes, when he’s so overwhelmed with how much he loves this man that he can barely speak, and he’s grateful when Even leans down and kisses him.

And then he rolls his hips.

It’s a lazy roll, almost just him grinding against Isak’s rim, fitting inside of him even better, and Isak opens his mouth mid-kiss to catch his breath. His hands fly from Even’s hair to his shoulders and one continues down onto the bed where he fists the sheet once again.

Another roll of hips and then Even’s hand finds Isak’s on the bed, coaxes his fingers out of the sheet to entwine their fingers, holding him steady and keeping him there. And it feels like everything. How Even’s body slides against his, how his dick moves inside of him as the next roll is a bit larger. 

Every nerve in Isak’s body is alive, every part of him feels Even, he’s everywhere. Fills every sense and Isak fights to keep his eyes open. He doesn’t want to miss a second of Even looking at him like that, all that open adoration and pleasure, Isak wishes he could keep it with him forever.

His very own treasure.

Even continues moving inside of him, languidly, unhurried, just them and nothing between them.

Even feels perfect, is perfect. Every move he makes just takes Isak higher, makes him somehow feel more, and he doesn’t quite understand how it can be like this. Even after all this time, even after everything they’ve done, that he can still find more love in him for Even, like he’ll never run out. 

He hopes it’ll be like this forever, that he’ll always feel like there’s more to give, new heights to reach together.

At this moment it feels like a certainty. That it’ll always be like this. 

That  _ they’ll _ always be like this.

Even leans down to kiss his cheek, runs his lips further down until they’re right by Isak’s ear. It sends shivers down his spine, all the way to his feet, feeling his breaths against his skin, hearing them loudly in his ear. 

The grip on he has on Even’s shoulder tightens, locks him in, keeps him there. Close, until there’s nothing between them. Only their skin sliding against each other, Even moving inside him, filling him up with his presence.

Isak’s heating up from inside, his balls and dick pulsing with every thrust and it’s all he can do to hold on. Just hitch his thighs higher, open up more for Even. 

“Isak,” Even moans right into his ear and Isak kisses his shoulder, his neck, anything he can get his mouth on, just needs to be as close as he can. “You’re perfect.”

Isak can’t help the strangled sound that escapes him, pulled from somewhere deep inside him, somewhere he would resent showing anybody but Even. But there’s nothing Even can’t see of him, nothing he has to hide, so he tries not to feel ashamed about this weakness either.

He can feel Even smile like he understands. And then he leans up and kisses Isak. Lips against lips, sweet, tender, so unbearably soft that Isak’s heart clenches and his eyes start to burn.

His dick is throbbing between their stomachs, only getting the barest of attention, not nearly enough, but it’s impossible to think about when Even kisses him like that.

While keeping the kiss sweet and soft, Even starts moving a bit faster inside Isak, snaps his hips at another pace, just enough that it steals Isak’s breath one more time and lights his nerves on fire.

How Even has the presence of mind to pull Isak apart like this, he’ll never understand. But he does, he knows exactly when to go slow and when not to. 

Isak gasps when Even slides a hand between them, moans when it wraps around his dick and gasps again when Even starts kissing his slack lips. Even’s hand starts to move between them and it’s so good, just right, exactly what Isak needs.

The heat is starting to simmer under his skin, about to boil over, and he’s so close, Even’s hand and dick working him just right, Even’s eyes and voice keeping him on the verge of overwhelmed. It would be so easy to close his eyes, to distance himself from how intense it is, but he doesn't. Needs this just as much as Even. Wants to revel in the way it feels like Even’s worshipping him.

Because that’s exactly what it feels like he’s doing, there’s no other word for it.

Even’s rhythm is starting to falter, turn uneven, a little sharper than before, his moans a little bit wetter against Isak’s skin. 

Isak tilts his head, catches Even’s lips again, but it’s a short kiss this time. They’re both so far gone it turns into them breathing into each other’s mouths, Isak catching Even’s sounds before they reach the room. 

It’s not going to take much anymore, not with how hot everything is, how perfect Even feels, everything's adding up, is tilting Isak towards enough, body simmering with impending release. He pulls Even closer, tightens his grip on him until he can feel his nails scratch against his skin, and it makes Even moan, makes him grip him tighter, makes his next thrust a little bit harder, rougher. 

Isak clenches hard around Even, wants to keep him inside, wants him to keep doing what he’s doing, and he says as much, whispers, “Don’t stop,” into the small space between them.

Even huffs against his cheek but doesn’t change the pace or the rhythm he’s got going, just keeps working into Isak’s body, taking him higher and higher and higher.

Isak’s head falls back, his eyes clenching and mouth slack, he can’t control it anymore, everything is pleasure and love and how right this feels.

How right Even feels.

And he comes like that, just lets go, releases that wave of pleasure inside of him, enjoys how it spreads throughout his body like tendrils, filling every part of him, every crevice.

There’s no more room in him, there’s only this, only them.  

Even that keeps going, keeps driving him higher, keeps the pleasure building and Isak comes and comes, spills between them, clings onto Even, lost in pleasure and everything that’s Even. And only distantly, he feels Even’s rhythm stutter, how he holds his breath, how his entire body tightens against him, and he knows he’s coming too.

And that feels even more right. That they’re experiencing this together. That Isak is giving him just as much pleasure as Even’s giving him.

It’s perfect.

Isak comes down slowly.

Still too lost in the endorphins running through his body to do anything but lie there, take Even’s weight, just breathing.

As his senses come to, he notices how warm Even is against him, his skin wet with sweat. How fast his heart is beating in his chest, how hard he’s breathing. Every exhale spreads warm, humid air over Isak’s neck and shoulder where Even has collapsed on him. Even’s hair tickles his chin, his cheek, and the first thing he does when he can move is to carefully remove it and push it back, stroke his head and the softness he finds there. Run his fingers through the strands that have gotten too long, almost long enough that they don’t really fit into the quiff anymore. 

But Isak’s not complaining. He loves Even in every way he is.

Even’s still inside of him, but he’s not moving anymore. It’s a delicate feeling, how he softens inside of him, how he starts sliding out, but they both keep still. Isak doesn’t want him to go anywhere, clenches to keep him in, making Even gasp softly.

Isak’s legs are shaking, thighs shivering from the strain of being held in the same position for far too long, but he knows that if he moves, this bubble between them will break, this peace and serenity.

He just wants to stay like this, forever if he could. Body soft, mind filled with love and how wonderful this is. How lucky he is.

Even’s the first to move, he wiggles until he can kiss Isak, and as Isak tilts his head as well, Even slides out and with him, a big glob of cum slips out too, sliding down his perineum, tickling him on the way. 

He knows they’re gonna have to change the sheets after this, once again, but he doesn’t really care. Doesn’t want to move to clean up, doesn’t want reality to start trickling in. Just wants this; Even’s lips against his, those slow, perfect post-coital kisses, full of satisfaction and affection.

He could stay like this forever.

And he tries to do just that, holds onto Even with arms and legs, keeps him there and huffs back when Even does that pleased  _ mmm _ that’s just for him. Isak’s sound.

Yeah, this is where he belongs.

\--||--

They’re eating breakfast in bed, still naked but at least clean now. They both take care not to spill crumbs everywhere, and Isak not so secretly loves it when they do this. When they have this kind of lazy start to the morning. And he’s also pretty curious about what’s about to happen. They’ve already had sex, but Even hasn’t mentioned C or made any moves to do anything but this, and Isak is getting eager with anticipation.

Even looks at him, eyes bright with almost hidden laughter, and it’s easy to see that he knows that Isak is starting to wonder. And that he’s enjoying it. 

“So, are we going to be naked in bed for the rest of the day?” Isak asks playfully, trying to move things along.

Even shrugs and smiles too wide. “If I have any say in it, then yeah.”

Isak laughs, can’t help it, he’s bubbling over with all this happiness inside of him.

And he knows that Even is telling him to be patient. But it’s hard, it’s so hard. 

Especially when Even is sitting in front of him, so close, looking like that. Like something Isak wants to ravish. Wants to wreck. Just a little bit. Just enough.  

Even diverts his thoughts by starting to talk about his application for uni, how he’s still deciding between courses, and Isak is swept up in the conversation in no time.

\--||--

He sits on the bed, watching Even arrange the pillows against the wall, then sit back against them when he’s satisfied and turn on the tv. 

“Come here,” he says, pats the space between his spread legs, and he’s still so naked. 

Isak can’t wait to feel all that skin against his so he goes, settles in between Even’s legs, back against his chest. His legs are stretched in front of him, feet hanging over the side of the bed, and he pulls the duvet over them to keep them warm.

Even starts fiddling with his phone, but he won’t let Isak see what he’s doing.

“Are we going to watch a movie?” Isak asks, relaxes back against Even’s chest and absentmindedly looks at the pretty nature pictures showing on the screen from the chromecast. 

The screen turns black and then it shows Even’s face really close, smiling to the camera, and Even pauses it there.

Isak stares at the screen, wondering what he’s about to see, wondering if Even has made him another birthday video. Although he doesn’t really remember Even filming more than usual, but you never know with him.

Even puts his arms around him, pulls him tight so he can kiss his cheek.

“I’ve been wanting to show you this for a long time,” he says, lips lingering against the shell of Isak’s ear. “C is for cinema.”

Isak doesn’t really understand, but before he can ask any questions, Even pushes play and then puts his phone to the side.

The movie starts with Even backing away from the camera, and the further back he walks, the more naked skin is revealed, until it’s very clear that he’s all naked.

Isak can see a bundle sleeping in the bed behind Even, and he flushes when he realizes what he’s seeing.

It’s their room, bathed in a soft, yellow light, the camera placed exactly where it was that morning. He grabs hold of Even’s arms around him, holds on tightly and Even smiles against him before he leans back against the pillows.

Isak watches as Even calls his name, starts drawing the duvet down his body, revealing more and more of him to the camera and he almost can’t breathe. It’s so weird watching himself, watching Even, like this. He’s not sure yet whether he thinks it’s hot, too focused on looking at himself, at his body. But he definitely remembers how hot it was as they were shooting it, so he keeps looking. 

And there’s his dick. 

And that’s even weirder watching from afar, but he likes how Even is kissing around it, likes seeing himself stretch like that. The Isak on the screen certainly seems like he’s enjoying himself. 

The sound is on low, he can hear them talking although he can’t hear what they’re saying, but he remembers. Remembers exactly what went through his head as he watches himself turn his head and blink at the camera.

”I love how easy it was to convince you,” Even whispers into his ear, stealing Isak’s attention away from the screen.

“Like it’s a hardship to have sex with my boyfriend,” Isak teases but twists his body so he can look at Even.

Even smiles, but he still says, “No, but I honestly wasn’t sure whether this was something you wanted to do. I was totally prepared for you to say no and do something else for L.”

“What were you thinking instead for L?”

Even blushes a bit, clears his throat and Isak almost regrets not saying no to the sex tape just to see Even squirm like that. It must be something good.

“Well,” he starts and rubs his palms over Isak’s waist. “I’m not sure it would’ve been sexy, maybe it would’ve been one of those things that would’ve worked better in theory than in practice.” Isak’s just about to interrupt him, ask him again what he had planned when Even finally just blurts it out: “Lapdance. I was going to give you a lapdance.”

Isak can’t help it, the laughter bubbles out of him. The thought of Even with his long limbs, that are somehow always in the way, trying to make those moves that Even likes to make sexy is just such a cute idea.

“I wish I could’ve seen that,” he laughs, loves how Even laughs behind him, joins in. Recognizes that Isak’s not really teasing, not really.

They both know that if Even set his mind to it, it probably would’ve become sexy. Isak is just too weak when it comes to whatever Even does. There’s no way that he wouldn’t have made that work as well.

“I’ll save the idea for the next game we decide to do,” Even says with laughter in his voice and Isak has a snappy comeback on the tip of his tongue, but just at that moment, he glances at the screen, and what he sees there makes him pause.

On the screen, he’s on his side, leg in front of him, and Even’s behind him, stroking his chest and pausing at his nipples. Isak is staring at the camera, and it’s so easy to see how affected he is, how dark his eyes are, how flushed he is already.

Isak wants to keep looking and he wants to hide behind a pillow. It’s almost embarrassing seeing just how turned on Even can make him, how easy for him he is, but Even doesn’t seem to think so, because Isak can feel him getting hard against his back.

He watches as Even reaches for the lube on the screen, and he flushes knowing what’s to come next.

He remembers how it had felt as if Even took hours before he started fingering him, how he teased him relentlessly, but watching it, it doesn’t quite feel as long. He tries not to look at himself too much, looks at Even instead, at how much he’s enjoying it.

Until Even’s fingers start working inside Isak on the screen. And Isak watches how his entire body jolts from it, how he chases Even’s fingers when he pulls them out again. It’s kind of fascinating to see his reactions to this, see how he obviously becomes more and more desperate every time Even’s fingers slip inside him.

It’s kind of… hot.

Especially coupled with how Isak’s reactions are making Even’s dick jump against his back, is making him run his fingers absentmindedly over his chest and arms, and now that Isak focuses on it, it’s obvious that Even’s breathing harder as well.

It’s enough to make Isak hard too.

All of a sudden, he wants to hear Even on screen, even though he doesn’t really want to hear what sounds he’s making himself. But the lure is too great, so he asks Even to turn the volume up and he does just in time to hear Even through the speakers as he says, “ _ I want you to be reminded of me, of this, with every step you take today.” _

Isak stops breathing when he hears that, it’s still just as hot as it was the first time around. He puts his hands on Even’s legs, holds on a bit tighter than he planned to, but he needs something to keep him from touching his leaking dick.

And then he hears himself begging for Even to fuck him and he would be mortified if Even behind him didn’t moan at it, says, “Fuck, I loved when you did that. You sound so good.”

It’s hard feeling embarrassed with that kind of praise.

Watching his own face as Even pushes into him is another kind of experience. He’s close to hiding behind his hands, too embarrassed to continue, but then Even rolls his hips against him, and makes it obvious just how much he’s leaking, just how hard he really is.

It gives Isak something else to focus on, makes it easier for him to distract from that weird thing his face is doing on screen and look at the whole picture instead.

He looks at how the soft, yellow light makes their skin almost glow, makes it seem intimate and nothing like porn or those other kinds of videos that Isak used to watch. Not with the way the light falls on them, the shadows it produces. It makes them look good. A bit artsy, maybe.

It’s very Even.

And that thought makes Isak’s heart swell a bit because of course Even would think about making them look good.

He squirms a bit, rubs his body against Even’s dick in a way that might be considered accidental, but which is very much on purpose. Even sighs and Isak wants to coax more sounds out of him, wants him to do more than just sit there and watch them fuck.

He scratches his way down Even’s thighs, something that he knows Even loves. And Even gasps in response behind him, his dick jumps and Isak shuffles, changes position, sits up higher but spreads his legs under the duvet.

He takes one of Even’s hands, leads it down his body, down, down, down to his hip where it makes an aborted move as if Even’s reaching for his dick, but Isak just pushes it down further.

He releases it when it’s as close to his hole as he can get it. And then he goes back to holding onto Even’s thigh, rolls his body against his like a lazy cat.

Even doesn’t say anything, just puts his lips on Isak’s temple, leans forward until he can reach comfortably, and then his fingers start caressing the soft skin of Isak’s inner thigh. He’s slow about it, takes his time, fingertips dancing over the skin instead of going for the gold. But at least he gets closer and closer with every stroke and Isak closes his eyes to be able to take it all in.

“Open your eyes, I want you to see. You’re so gorgeous, so hot. I could look at you all day,” Even whispers in his ear.

So Isak does. Focuses back on the screen. Makes a strangled sound when he watches himself show off to the camera, stretch and open his body in such a way that  _ everything  _ is on display. 

He can see how that’s a thing Even likes to look at. Understand that this is a turn on because he’s getting affected himself as he watches the playful look on his face, the half-lidded stare, the sweat on his skin.

He doesn’t know if he should feel weird about getting hot from watching himself getting fucked, but it doesn’t matter. He is, he definitely is. The way he’s looking and acting on screen sends a pang of arousal down his spine, all the way to his dick and he spreads his legs even more, hips rolling like he’s chasing Even’s fingers, and that’s when Even puts his fingers over his hole, rubs his sensitive rim, still a bit swollen from earlier.

Fuck.

He keens, tilts his hips to make more room for Even, licks his lips and watches as Even fucks him hard on the screen at the same time as Even’s fingers breach him.

He keeps them still, an unbearable tease, when Isak knows just how good those fingers can make him feel, how perfect they are when they’re moving inside of him.

The way Even’s fingers just slide inside tells him that he’s still wet, and that makes him wish that it was Even’s dick that was pushing in instead. He wants it, wants to feel how it stretches him all over again, wants to feel the burn. Wants Even to chase the soreness away with pleasure.

“Fuck me,” he moans, and he can feel how it makes Even’s fingers stutter.

“Oh god, I want to,” Even says, grinds his hard dick against the top of Isak’s ass.

It would be so easy, just Isak getting up on his knees, lift up over Even and then it would be an easy slide from there.

But he knows that Even wouldn’t be able to watch if he did, Isak is too tall not to be in his line of sight, and that’s kind of what this is about.

Even pushes at him, makes him scoot forward, and Isak’s muddled mind can’t comprehend what he wants him to do, so he just goes where Even directs him.

He watches as Even picks up his mobile and pauses the video, watches him get up on his knees and sit back on his haunches, watches as he lubes up his dick which looks red and swollen and delicious. Isak wants to sit on it, desperate to get it inside of him now, and thankfully, it seems that he’ll get his wish, because Even gestures as his lap, wordlessly telling Isak to get a move on.

Isak turns around, shuffles on his knees towards Even, but Even stops him.

“No, your back to mine. Then we can both still watch.”

It’s not an easy position to get into like this, but Isak turns around, shuffles back awkwardly, chuckles at the ridiculousness of the situation, there’s just no way to do this in style. It takes a moment, but then his ass hits Even’s stomach, and he leans back until he’s plastered against Even’s front, safe in his arms, Even’s forehead between his shoulder blades. 

Even takes over now, pushes him down and Isak spreads his legs, lets his knees slide apart so he can get close, and then he feels it. Feels Even’s dick nudge against his hole, slide against his rim, and his entire body flushes with heat, a wave of desperation and want washing over him. 

Even releases him with one arm, uses the hand to keep his dick steady as he pushes Isak down on it.

He’s still loose from earlier and Even’s dick pops inside without much resistance. From there, Isak just moves his knees even further apart, sliding down on Even’s dick, making room for him.

Even feels so big. Isak’s still sore, feels a bit used from earlier, but this is perfect, Even always feels perfect. Even’s hold on him is so tight, but it’s grounding. Knowing that Even’s just as affected as Isak is, that he loves this just as much.

And then he reaches Even’s thighs, settles on them, completely speared on Even’s dick. He feels it pulsing inside of him with every breath he takes. It’s so much but definitely not too much.

Even’s hands are holding onto his chest, pulling him tight against him, his nose buried in the sweaty curls of his nape, and Isak’s so sensitive now that every breath that washes over him makes his dick jump and his balls ache.

He hasn’t even touched his own dick yet, but this is just pushing all his buttons. Everything about this is better than he hoped for. 

He stays there, keeps still, waits for Even to release him long enough that he can press play on the video again, and the first thing he sees is him being fucked so hard he starts rolling onto his stomach with Even following him.

It’s probably the hottest thing Isak’s ever seen. Knowing that Even’s the one to put that look on his face, the one who makes him make those sounds, say those words. 

Jesus.

On the screen, he already looks so fucked out, lost in bliss and then Even crawls on top of him, pushes him down into the mattress and he remembers how that had felt. How good Even crowding him like that had been, how hot it made him.

And it’s working now as well. 

He moves his hips, an aborted roll, not quite patient enough to wait anymore for Even to make the first move. Even clings to him, tightens his grip, like he wants him to go slower, but Isak can’t, he’s barely moving as it is.

“Don’t--” Even starts, puts his forehead on Isak’s shoulder and breathes for a couple of long seconds before he continues. “I’m so close already, you feel so good, you look so good, Isak…”

Hearing Even’s voice break like that, the desperation and want he projects, makes Isak hot all over, makes it impossible for him not to move.

“Sorry,” he whispers and rolls his hips again, an aborted movement. He can’t sit still, he just can’t.

He hopes Even understands.

Even moans, opens his mouth against Isak’s shoulder, breathes wetly against his skin. He’s holding on so tight that Isak can barely breathe, but it’s good. It’s so good. Isak wouldn’t want anything else.

He focuses back on the screen again, just in time to watch Even make those short, hard jabs that set Isak on fire, made him almost lose it into the bed. He watches himself fist the sheet, watches what’s visible of his face from where it’s almost buried in the mattress, contorted in pleasure, hears the sounds he’s making. And where it was weird and embarrassing before, now it’s just hot.

It’s double the pleasure. It’s not just Even’s dick jumping inside of him with every small movement of Isak’s hips, it’s watching himself getting fucked so good by Even, it’s remembering how much pleasure he was swimming in at that moment. 

Isak can’t sit still anymore, he lifts up on his knees, slides off Even one centimeter at the time, until just the head is inside of him and then he sits down on it, moans at the intrusion, the drag of all that dick against his sensitive rim, how it feels like it rearranges everything inside of him.

Again.

And then he does it again. 

Even is still holding onto him tight, making small, guttural sounds against his shoulder, but he’s not telling Isak to stop, not asking him to sit still anymore. Either he’s found a way to regain control of his body, or he’s decided to just go with it, recognizing the desire to move in Isak.

Even isn’t moving though, lets Isak do all the work, lets him decide how fast and how hard. And Isak tries holding back, tries to slow himself down to make it easier for Even, to make him last, but it’s hard. Almost impossible when everything is so much and so good.

He manages to close his eyes from the pleasure, but opens them when he hears Even say through the speakers; “Are you going to come like this? Is this enough?”

Fuck.  _ Fuck _ . 

He looks so fucked out when Even manhandles him to the side, moves his body and legs until they’re where he wants them, starts fucking him again.

It’s easy to see when Even gets the angle right again, finds the right spot to aim at, because Isak’s mouth goes slack and his eyes clench shut and he almost looks like he’s in pain. Except that’s not what’s happening. That’s not it at all.

“Shit, fuck, Isak,” Even mutters against his shoulder, body shivering against Isak’s, and Isak wishes he could see him as well, see what his face is doing, see how flushed and delicious watching them together makes him.

Isak keeps moving, keeps fucking himself on Even’s dick, keeps taking his pleasure from him. His dick is leaking onto the sheets under them, just like it is in the video and he knows that he’s going to come soon on the screen, can see how close he is, and it sends another zap of arousal down his body, makes his balls pull up tight.

He realizes with a surprise that he likes seeing himself like this. Likes it almost as much as he liked shooting the video.

He spreads his legs and Even slides deeper inside of him. He smiles at the deep, rough moan that forces out of Even. And he mirrors the screen, lifts his arms, puts his hands in Even’s hair and holds on tight. 

He kind of wishes he could see them like this as well. His body stretched, muscles clenched and hard, hips rolling and thighs working, and he’s sure that Even is a beautiful mess behind him. 

Even’s lips are working against his skin like he’s trying to talk, but nothing understandable comes out. And Isak knows how much Even loves talking during, loves narrating what they’re doing, so he does it instead.

“You felt so good, feel so good. You know just how to fuck me.”

Even exhales roughly and keens, a twisted, desperate sound, like it’s being pulled from him, and Isak has to continue.

“I’m so close there, look at how you make me come completely untouched. Just you and your dick.”

And he’s just said it when Isak does on screen. When his entire body hardens, his face doing something so different that Isak doesn’t even have words for it, and his dick starts to shoot and shoot onto the bed. 

It looks like a good one, the way it just seems to go on and on forever, even as Even keeps fucking into him, chasing his own orgasm that follows not long after. 

Isak almost feels high watching it, stuck on the memory of how good it was, how much pleasure that was inside of him, lasting and lingering until nothing else existed but that. But them.

His dick pulses and it would be so easy to touch himself and make himself come in seconds, but he’s not ready for that.

He watches as Even finally collapses on screen, stops moving his hips, watches as they catch their breaths and starts laughing, and then Isak has to turn his head, tilt it so he can catch Even’s lips with his in a kiss more tongue and teeth than kiss.

Even’s panting into his mouth, seeming like he’s holding on by a thread, fighting his orgasm for Isak’s sake, and Isak wants him to lose control, wants him to give it to him.

“Come on, baby, make me feel just as good again,” he says, as he starts leaning forward, pulling Even along with his grip on his hair. He lets go the second he can feel Even lean forward with him, Isak puts one hand on the bed to keep his balance and one on Even’s hip holding him close.

He expects Even to stop when they’re both on their knees, but he doesn’t. He just keeps going, pushes Isak forward, even puts a hand between his shoulder blades and keeps pushing until Isak is lying ass in the air, chest against the mattress. He turns his head, moans at how Even keeps his hand there, still pushing him down even though there’s nowhere else for him to go. 

And then he starts fucking into Isak hard and frantic, fast, just giving in to what his body wants him to do.

Isak stays there, takes it, pinned in place, his aching dick swinging between his spread legs with every rough shove.

It feels amazing, just what he needs, what he wants.

He moans way too loud, tries to move a hand down to get a hold of his dick, just a touch, just a pull, he’s sure that would be enough, but Even is relentless. The way he’s fucking him pushes him up the mattress, leaves him no other choice but to put his hands against the wall to keep himself in place. He can’t let go.

There’s a twisted sort of pleasure in that that Isak didn’t know before this game. The fact that it can be so good to be held down, to be forced to take what Even gives him. Although he wouldn’t say no to this, welcomes it too much for that.

Even’s other hand is tight on his hip, pulling him back to get him deeper and Isak can barely breathe from pleasure.

And then Even’s frantic rhythm stutters, his moans become louder, his grip even harder, and as he leans forward and buries himself so deep inside Isak that he almost swears he can taste him, he comes.

Isak moans through it, pushes back so Even can ride it out, push his cum deep inside of him all over again. He wants every drop, wants to feel it dripping out of him for days.

He’s so close himself, his entire body feels like a live wire, strumming with energy, his dick aching and pulsing and he can barely stand it any longer. But he keeps still for Even, lets him ride it out, lets him empty himself completely inside of Isak.

It isn’t until Even collapses on him, a heavy weight across his back, hot and sweaty, almost too much on Isak’s already overheated body, that he can’t hold back anymore.

He keens -- a desperate, needy sound from high in his throat, wet and shaky -- and whispers, “Even…”

He almost sobs in relief when it seems to be enough to pull Even out of his stupor, enough to make him kiss Isak’s neck open-mouthed before he says, “I’ve got you.”

He pulls out, sudden, unexpectedly, pulls away from Isak and Isak whines, wants him back, wants his shrinking dick to plug him back up, but Even just shushes him and starts pushing at him instead, pushes him until Isak gets the idea and turns over, lets Even manhandle him until he’s lying on his back.

He’s barely settled before Even leans in and swallows him down. He’s not slow about it, not reverent. He just takes Isak’s dick down as far as he can, before he pulls back and does it all over again, only further this time.

Isak almost chokes on his own spit. Even’s mouth is so wet and warm and tight, so, so perfect that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. His body is squirming under the onslaught of it, and when he starts sucking, Isak almost lifts from the bed, breath caught in his throat, mind blanking.

He knows it won’t take much, he’s so wired as it is, has been on the edge of coming for what feels like forever, and Even is doing his best, is working him in all the ways he knows works really well.

Isak’s arms are flailing on the bed, trying to find purchase, to find something to hang onto, he’s panting so hard that he almost feels dizzy from it. And then Even pushes two fingers inside him, pushes back the cum that’s starting to leak out of him, hums around his dick.

And Isak’s hands find their way back to Even’s hair, hold on to it tight as he pushes Even’s face down, doesn’t even think about it, completely running on instinct, and Even lets him. Relaxes his throat, allows Isak to go as far down as he possibly can and Isak is shaking, balls pulling up tight, electricity running over his skin.

He feels like he’s vibrating with how close he is.

His hands push a bit harder, pushes and pushes, his mind is a scramble of  _ more, deeper, more, tighter _ , and he barely has the presence of mind to hear and feel Even choking around him, his throat working to push him back out, tightening around him as it does. And that feeling, coupled with the sound Even makes, melts the last part of his brain, makes him open his mouth and lick his lips.

He looks at Even as he pulls off, as he catches his breath, a string of spit connecting his full, swollen lips to Isak’s dick.

Even opens his eyes, wet and wild, he looks almost frantic even though he just came, and looks right at Isak, determination painted all over his features.

And then he goes back down, sucks Isak in, takes him far down his throat, even further than before, until his chin touches the delicate skin of Isak’s balls, until he can’t go down anymore. He keeps his eyes on Isak, even as he stays there, breathing through his nose, a tear running down his cheek.

He’s beautiful. Beautiful and hotter than ever.

His big lips stretched around Isak, his shoulders rising as he breathes, his throat spasming as it tries to stay relaxed. Isak releases his hair, letting Even get back control, puts a hand on his neck and the other on his shoulder instead. Caresses him. 

And it’s a soft, sweet caress, so at odds with what Even’s doing to him that it seems to take Even by surprise. He closes his eyes and another tear escapes him.

Isak pulls at Even, gently this time, trying to get him to pull off. Although this is amazing, feels fantastic, he doesn’t want to come like this.

Not when it’s the last letter. Not when it’s the continuation of what they did earlier, the way Even made love to him.

Even looks confused as he pulls off, but he still makes those slurping sounds that Isak can feel all the way from his brain to his toes. 

“It’s not good?” Even asks when he’s off completely, his hand still around Isak’s spit-slick dick. 

Isak can barely concentrate from having Even that close, from that hand that’s working him in a slow, mind-melting rhythm. But he clears his throat to be able to talk because he needs Even to know.

“It’s so good, you know that baby. But I don’t want to come like that.”

Even’s stops moving and he raises his eyebrows. “No?”

Isak shakes his head. “Come here,” he says and tries to pull him up.

He needs to kiss him, it’s been too long since he tasted Even lips. 

Even smiles, comes easily, lies down beside Isak and kisses him as soon as he’s within reach. Although Isak is still shaking, still feeling small zaps of electricity running down his dick with every squeeze of Even’s hand, he still makes the kiss soft. 

He rubs his lips against Even’s until he smiles that private smile of his, the one with all the fondness and tenderness, the one that’s secretly Isak’s favorite, and then he licks at Even’s lips until he opens for him. 

They stay like that, tongues playing, Isak slowly licking the taste of his dick out of Even’s mouth, tastes his moans and smiles.

And everything in Isak melts, he’s so gone for Even, loves how he’s allowed to be. How they can still do this, even after all the things they’ve done now.

He’s missed this. It doesn’t matter how hot all the other things were, showing Even how much he means to him with his body is among his favorite things in the world.

And it always will be.

Even tightens his grip on Isak’s dick, starts stroking with more intent, and it doesn’t take more than a couple of pulls when Even is kissing him like this, is close like this, taking care of him, before Isak is coming.

It’s not a slow explosion, it’s sudden, one second he’s still climbing towards the peak, the next, he’s hurled off it, falling and falling, his entire body exploding with pleasure. He moans into Even’s mouth, lets him taste them, convulses against Even’s body and loves how Even holds him through it, kisses his slack lips as Isak loses himself to it as he lets Even milk him of everything he’s got. 

He can take it all, everything he has is Even’s.

Isak’s dick pulses as his balls empty, and he’s barely done before he starts kissing back. Like his orgasm was just a temporary break from kissing.  

He pants against Even’s mouth, lets Even work the last aftershocks out of him with a few extra strokes. 

And then he stops.

It’s quiet in the room, just them breathing hard, the occasional click of a throat as it swallows against the dryness. The ruffle of sheets coming from the television.

Isak lies there, so close to Even that he would touch him if he pursed his lips. 

And when he opens his eyes, he finds Even already staring at him. Like he expected him to.

“Hi,” Even whispers.

And Isak huffs out a laugh, buries into Even and loses sight of him for a few long seconds as he whispers, “Hi,” back.

He loves that they do that, even after all this time, it’s still their thing. How they check in with each other.

It’ll never stop making Isak’s heart beat faster.

Even is so close that Isak can barely see him properly, but he doesn’t want to pull back. He can’t get close enough, just wants to feel Even’s heat and presence, wants  _ him _ .

So he pushes at Even until he gets the idea and lies on his back so Isak can settle on his chest. He slings his leg over Even, closes the last space between them. And it’s too hot and messy, he’s getting his cum smeared all over them, but he doesn’t care right now.

It doesn’t matter.

He watches Even absentmindedly wiping his hand on the duvet and his entire body is so gone on endorphins and love that even that doesn’t bother him.

He makes a satisfied sound, a hum from deep inside of him and closes his eyes to focus on the beat of Even’s heart that’s slowly returning to normal under his ear.

“That was a good last letter,” he whispers and turns his head until he can kiss the part of Even he can reach. 

Even hums in answer, starts stroking Isak’s hair, and Isak could fall asleep like this.

He’s about to when there’s a squeal and a laughter coming from the television and he lifts his head to be able to watch Even on the screen as he gets out of bed, comes closer and closer to the television until all that’s visible is an out-of-focus part of his chest.

And then the screen turns black.

“You haven’t edited it?” Isak asks, surprised. He’s sure that Even must have a ton of ideas for how to improve it.

“Nah, I wanted to watch it for the first time with you.”

Of course he did.

His ridiculous, romantic, sexy boyfriend.

Isak kisses his chest again and then settles back in to listen to the sound of his heartbeat.

It’s quiet between them until Even breaks the silence.

“I can’t believe this was the last letter.”

“Me neither,” Isak whispers. 

Now that he’s thinking about it, his stomach turns to knots. It’s stupid because he knows that they won’t go back to having sex like they used to have, not now that they’ve done all these things. Probably.

But he can’t deny that this game has brought them closer, has made them more adventurous, has even made them trust each other more.

And even though that wasn’t necessarily his intention when he suggested it, he’s so excited that it’s the outcome. 

He’s never been more in love with Even than he is now.   

“I have an idea,” Even says, excitement painting his voice, making Isak moan begrudgingly. It’s not necessarily a good thing when Even says things like that in that tone of voice.

“What?” he asks anyway like he always does.

“Maybe there are other alphabets we could do?” he asks and Isak lifts his head to watch him.

“What?”

“Yeah, like the Arabic or the Greek or the… I don’t know. Or we could do numbers?”

Isak laughs, has to kiss that excitement on Even’s face. He leans in close, kisses his cheek, then the other, then the tip of his nose before he settles on his lips. 

It’s not until he pulls back that he really takes Even in. How his hair is a mess, sticking up all over the place, how his cheeks are still flushed, how swollen and red his lips are. How soft his eyes are when they look back at him.

And Isak’s heart swells until his ribcage feels too small, like his love for Even is so big that there isn’t room inside of him for it all. How it fills him completely and warms him from within. 

He watches Even’s eyes roam his face, waiting for an answer.

And even after all this time, after all they’ve been through, there’s really only one answer Isak  _ can  _ give. The only answer he’ll ever have for Even, no matter what he’s asking.

So Isak kisses him softly on the lips again, strokes his cheek with his thumb. And whispers that answer.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”

Like he’ll do for the rest of their lives. 

  
  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C is for cinema.
> 
> Aaaaaand it's done. Phew! hahahHAHAHahahah
> 
> I want to thank a few people who have made this fic possible. First and foremost and most importantly; Maugurt. My sweet, lovely, bratty spouse. There would be no AA without you and you’ve made this so much fun to write. Thank you for sticking by me, no matter how pissy and whiny I became during. I love you, baby. <3
> 
> To the bestest and most lovely women around, my lovely gc, who has loved AA from the start and has bombarded me with great ideas and inspiration over and over again. Thank you, ladies! <3
> 
> And last, but not least; you guys. Every last one of you who have read, kudos’ed, commented, talked to me on tumblr, talked to me on discord (my god I’ve loved all this interaction! <3). There is no way I can say thank you enough, because you’ve really made a difference for me and you’ve made writing this SO MUCH FUN, and waaaahhhh I can’t believe it’s over! Thank you, my friends. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, you’re all awesome. <3 <3 <3
> 
> I’d love to hear from you if you enjoyed this even tho I’m sure your comments are gonna make me cry. BUT IN A GOOD WAY - I promise. xD
> 
> Sooo. See you when I post my next fic? ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [nofeartina](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, come play! :) 
> 
> And please don't be afraid to drop a comment or a kudos to let me know what you think about this. :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Alphabet Aerobics - extra material](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381242) by [nofeartina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/pseuds/nofeartina)
  * [Bogstavkiks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272629) by [champagneleftie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/champagneleftie/pseuds/champagneleftie), [himmelsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/himmelsky/pseuds/himmelsky), [imminentinertia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imminentinertia/pseuds/imminentinertia), [MinilocIsland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinilocIsland/pseuds/MinilocIsland), [vesperthine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesperthine/pseuds/vesperthine)




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